Title: Interim

Pairing: Ray/ Lily

Rating: hard 'R' for explicit sexual content

Warnings: it's Wank! fic, so if that bothers you, go away

Notes: "Oh my god, this is het!" that's right, my first real het fic ever. Please be kind.

***This is for AKADropsofJupiter, for all of the hand holding, comma deleting and general support for me in this new realm of fanfic

He doesn't feel guilty about it. He doesn't. For one thing, it's not like Lily will ever know. For another, it isn't like Lily would expect any less if she knew about his feelings for her. Besides, he's a red-blooded American male, it's a completely normal and natural thing to do. Not to mention, he's just doing this in the interim. Once Lily wakes up and realizes that her soul mate has been here all this time, he won't need to do this. Which isn't to say that that's all he wants from Lily, but well, a boy (man) has needs. So, maybe it isn't the classiest thing to do about your crush, but he doesn't feel guilty. No, really he doesn't.

So, Ray lays down on his bed and thinks about Lily while he takes his shirt off. He imagines her smile, the soft scent of her hair, while he plays with his nipples. He plays his fingers up and down his chest and torso, all the while thinking about Lily's voice, thinking about what she might say to him, if they were in a moment like this. He kind of likes that idea, so he starts imagining words in his head, making them sound like Lily's saying them. "God, Ray, you feel so good," she'd say, "why didn't we ever do this before?" And, "Oh Ray, please touch me." And yeah, maybe Ray's simplifying it a bit, but everyone wants to be wanted. His hands come to play at the top of the waistband of his jeans, and Ray decides to kick it up a bit.

He shimmies out of his jeans and begins to run his fingers over the bulge that's been growing beneath his boxers since he and Lily were in here earlier. She was looking for a CD he'd borrowed and even though nothing happened, it *could have*, and that's what's important. So he continues to fondle himself through the cotton and thinks about how her hair had brushed across his cheek when she walked by him. He wonders what might have happened if he'd just grabbed her then. If he'd held her tight and looked her in the eye and told her, "I love you, Lily." He can imagine her kiss, sweet and soft and this sudden splash of Lily on his tongue that will forever leave even the best of candies in the dust. She'd be soft and pliant in his arms as he runs his hands down her sides, and his lips from jaw to ear.

He starts to really tease himself through the restrictive cotton, letting himself feel it, but only in a *muted* way, like Lily's body would rub him through all their clothes. He thinks about her, slowly removing one layer of clothing after another, slowly revealing the most perfect body in the world. At least, perfect to him, because he's fantasized about this so many times, it's just going to make the real thing sweeter. And finally she'd be down to nothing but her bra and panties. Ray imagines her underwear would be very much like Lily's outerwear, bright and so *Lily* it's like her fingerprints are all over them in bright red ink. Red panties with black stars on them, a matching set. He can imagine pulling down first one bra strap and then the other, kissing the skin exposed there. Licking along her collarbone and hoping that the *taste* of Lily won't ever leave him. He'll nip lightly at her nape and collarbone while she runs her fingertips under his shirt and pulls it up, break contact with Lily's body for a second, over his head and then back to Lily.

Lily's hands won't be shy or coy, she'll *reach* for him, finding all of the places he's been ticklish in for years, and this familiarity, even in something so *new* strikes Ray as so intensely erotic, he has to shiver. Ray lets his hands slip in under the cotton now, gently fondling and cupping his testicles. Thinking of Lily's hands, cupping him through jeans and boxers, just *testing* the feel and weight in her hands. He starts massaging them together when he thinks of her gently unzipping him and reaching inside. He knows she'd be confident, even though she's never done this before, that she'd just... go for it. Feeling her way around, learning the shape and texture of everything. He can imagine her nails catching slightly on his pubic hair, and her smiling at him in apology, smoothing her fingers over the abused area. And if he were braver, of if he could manage to scrape the brain cells together, he'd ask her to kiss it better, but he doesn't. She shifts enough for his arms to slip behind her, trying to unclip her bra, and because it's a fantasy, he can. The red cotton slips down between them and it's *skin*. His and Lily's, together, with nothing separating them.

Her mouth curves into a slight 'O' when he bends down to lave her nipples, and Ray lets his hand begin to really stroke at his member now. She'd pull him up from where he's worshiping her orally, to kiss him. Pushing him down onto his bed and *reaching*. Strong, confident musician's hands curled around him, and nothing's ever felt this good. Ray begins pulling at the head, alternating between long and short strokes, imagining *Lily* doing this, *Lily* wanting him this way. Lily's hands, stroking him, up and down, playing with the head while reaching down to massage his testicles. Gaining speed with every stroke, she'll know how much he likes it, because he won't be able to stop the moans from coming out.

He speeds up his strokes, whispering Lily's name over and over and shutting his eyes against reality. Seeing only Lily in front of him, working his shaft like she knows how, and leaning down to *taste* him. It nearly causes him to cum, the thought of Lily's mouth on him there. He continues though, wanting to play out the fantasy a little longer, wanting to cum, but wanting Lily more. Lily's mouth, pink, pink tongue making small cat licks along the head ofhis shaft, before putting her whole mouth around it. Nothing fancy, just *wet*, *heat*, *suction* and Ray can barely hold on. The thought of Lily, sucking him, looking at him like she coulnd't think of anything better to do. Ray strokes once, Lily closing her eyes and moaning softly. Twice, Lily pulling him in a little deeper. Three times, Lily's hair spreading over his thighs as she works him with her mouth, and cums. He lies there on his bed, covered in cooling spunk and reeking of sex for all of two seconds until the phone rings.

"Hello," Ray answers it, voice hoarse and a little husky, so much for the afterglow. It's Lily, she wants him to meet her and the rest of the guys at Mickey's for coffee. He agrees and hangs up, looking around for something to wipe himself off with. As he showers his own cum off his chest, he has to remind himself. He doesn't feel guilty. There isn't anything to feel guilty about. It's just for now, until Lily and I are together for real. But he doesn't look at himself in the mirror as he think it. He doesn't look at his reflection at all, not in the mirror while he's dressing, and not while he's walking to Mickey's and passing all the darkened store windows. He doesn't look, and his reflection doesn't have to silently accuse him of anything. At least, not while Lily's around.