Title: Beyond Chp 1

Author: Blu Evermind

Summary: Set after Revolutions. Neo (Thomas A. Anderson...oh my god, I read a story where they called him that throughout the whole thing) and Agent Smith (His first name will be John, ya know, to make fun.) are somewhere. Its not tomorrow and its not yesterday...its beyond, and the whole place is against them not to get back...so of course, to get back, they have to team up. Oh, the insanity!

A/N: Hmm...what drove me to write this? Sugar? Nude pics of Elijah Wood? Reading My first Neo/Smith fic? Let's say its all of the above.

*WARNING*: OH DEAR GOD! ITS THE WORST OOC-ness SINCE...EVER!

Chapter One--Neo says AHHH alot

When the One woke up, he didn't believe he would wake up at first. He was actually looking forward to seeing Trinity again, but when he did wake up and it wasn't after life, he was a little pissed. He was staring at a wall with a sign saying "Drink Psycho Cola!". His attention passed from this to the grunt he'd heard next to him from another being. When he saw that it was the be-suited Agent Smith, of course, all curiosity failed and was replaced by none other than, screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Neo cried, suddenly scooting back on all fours. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he screamed again.

Agent Smith was up in a heartbeat, "WHAT IS IT? NO! I WON'T BE A TELETUBBY!" he blinked from waking of his nightmare and turned to the screaming person. "You!" he said with all the venom a sleepy agent could muster.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Neo cried, almost comically pointing towards him, head shaking.

"What in the hell are we doing here?" Smith asked the screaming human, "Shut up for a moment and answer my question!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Neo cried, then he fell over in a faint.

Smith blinked. He needed his answers, even if it meant touching a filthy human. He stood up and walked over to the fallen man, taking his head in his hands, absentmindedly admiriming its smooth texture of his hair. "Hey, are you okay?" Smith answered in a very soft yet demanding voice.

Neo's eyes opened, he was frozen for a moment before he went on screaming. Smith dropped his head and it hit the cold floor, "OW!" Neo cried, in a more serious voice. "I demand to die!" he cried comically.

"Die? But why?" Smith asked.

"Trin kinda died and I want to be with her. ITS NOT FAIR! AND YOU HURT MY HEAD!" Neo cried.

Smith rolled his eyes, Humans could never control their emotions. "Look, if you calm down, maybe we can get out of here. You could meet up with your Trin and I could...um...do stuff, I guess." A thought suddenly crossed his mind. For the past few years, Neo had been his life. And now that peace had surely come to everyone from his fall, Smith had nothing to do, even if he got back. And if he got back, he'd surely be deleted. Surely, surely, surely...

Neo cocked his head to the side, innocently, looking kind of cute, "Say...whatcha thinkin' about?"

Smith smiled and shook his head, "Nothing." he stood up and looked around, noticing the "Drink Psycho Cola" poster. "Well, we seem to be in some hallway. I guess we figure out where it goes..."

"How come I know you won't try to kill me, wherever we are?" Neo asked, still on the floor, looking up at Smith.

The agent walked over and held out his hand. Neo took it, helping himself up, "Because I can't, Mr. Anderson. Because your already dead."

"Oh yeah..." Neo said, touching his chin.

"Lets go. I see you must be suffering from brainloss...again." Smith said, leading the way as Neo skipped merrily behind.

***

After about half an hour later, they came to a door. Smith opened it and saw it led into a waiting room of some sort. They both grabbed a seat amongst the people there and well, waited.

Unfortunately, Neo noticed the candy and sugary Physho Soda machines and used his ultimate powers of THE ONE to make alot of quarters. Then he bought stuff to his heart's content.

Agent Smith's eyes bulged from behind his frames, "Why'd you buy all that?"

"I got you a soda too!" Neo said, a chocolate pocky stick between his lips.

Smith took the soda, wondering why in the hell would they sell soda in cans covered in SUGAR.

"Oooie! I know what I want!" Neo held up his hand into the light and a Gameboy Advance appeared there.

"Would you stop doing that?" But his protest quickly ended when Neo brought forth a shinny new pair shades. "OOIE!"

"Thomas Anderson and John Smith." a borning, annoying sounding secretary said, popping her gum as they came forward.

"John Smith?" Neo questioned.

"It just so happens at the time I was created, The Source was getting over Poccahontas Hype." Smith explained.

"Hey, can you paint with all the colors of the wind?" Neo joked.

Smith growled as they sat down. The secretary thoughtlessly threw papers at them to sign. "Welcome to Beyond, home of the Crazied Yaoifangirls, the ultimate baseball team, The Cowards, and Phycho Soda."

"Excuse me, ma'am, but where exactly is Beyond?" Smith answered.

"Beyond is here. Here is Beyond." The lady responded boredly.

"Well, we're kinda trying to get back, cause I died and I need to see Trin...don't make me open a can of whoopass on you cause I am THE ONE--" Neo started but the secretary cut him short to laugh.

"LEAVE BEYOND? Why on earth would you want to do that?" the secretary laughed.

"What? We can't leave?" Agent Smith asked.

"I don't think so. No one's left Beyond for....well, ever!" The secretary leaned forward, "for, no one wants to leave Beyond."

"Well, I want to leave Beyond because my Trinity awaits!" Neo raised his heavenly hand into the light by mistake and out popped--Boston Baked Beans.

"Would you please control the Heavenly Arm of THE ONE?" The secretary said.

Neo bought his hand down and put it in his pocket. " Sorry, ma'am."

"Have you ever heard of the War of the Humans and Machines on the planet Earth?" Smith asked, trying to get to the bottom of things.

"I can't say I have." the secretary said, "Well, until things get sorted out, you see the light and the fact thatyourbothhopelesslyinlove (She said that last part pretty fast), please sign these papers and you will be escorted to your new home."

"HOME?" Smith said, "You can't just give us a house and we automatically call it home."

"I believe that this will be a little different..." the secretary cackled.

***

Moments passed.

And then some more.

Finally--

"OH MY GOD! THAT'S OUR HOUSE?" Neo cried.

"OH MY GOD! I HAVE TO SHARE A HOUSE WITH YOU?" Smith cried.

They were staring at the biggest mansion ever. So big and elegant, it made those on MTV's cribs look like pussies. YES, even Destiny's Child's house. YES! Even that Las Vegas guy. YES! Even more elegant than the authoress' house!

"It won't be that bad." Neo said, turning to Smith and grabbing his hand, "Come on! Let's go see it!"

Smith growled, being dragged along, "If only I could cause more harm to you...again."

As they entered the house, they were met with a butler and three maids. And they all looked ready to serve. Just as Neo was about to give the orders for them to do extremely hard and pointless things, Smith covered Neo's mouth his his hand.

"That'll be all for now!" Smith said and the four left.

Just then, Neo licked his hand; it automatically left his mouth.

"DID YOU JUST LICK ME? AHHHHH!" Smith cried, running around in circles.

"Never doubt the abilities of THE ONE!" Neo cried, hand going up into the air. What released was alot of chocolate bunnies. Neo brought his hand down and hit it against the wall, "I really gotta get that thing fixed."

***

End of Chapter One

***

That was funny, ne? There will definately be more of this coming along! And don't review about typos! I know their there.

And a note for Connection Fans: I haven't forgotten about Connection Part 2! Its coming! Really, it is. I just want to write out some of it first because school is being pissy (as it always does) so relax and um...go read stuff. Or go to sonicteam.come and ogle at Shadow pics. HEY! THAT'S WHAT I DO!