Title: Harry Potters and the Ultimate Scooby Gang, Epilogue
By Nopporn Wongrassamee, the Evil Author
VOLDEMORT SLAIN, HOGWARTS DESTROYED Story by Reeta Skeeter
Hogsmeade, Scotland - In a bizarre series of events yesterday, the greatest dark wizard in recent times was slain by the famous Harry Potter. Alas, this victory did not come without a high cost. As the Boy Who lived fought with Voldemort inside the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was attacked and destroyed by forces unknown. Details of both events are still sketchy as the Ministry of Magic are still investigating, but this Daily Prophet reporter has learned enough to get a general outline of events.
In the first, Harry Potter somehow learned that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were breaking into the Ministry of magic. Potter and a small circle of his friends set out to stop them and amazingly succeeded. Potter and his friends held off double their number of Death Eaters and Voldmort himself until a crack team of Aurors could arrive on the scene. Potter himself along with the assistance classmate Neville Lotbutt fought and slew Voldemort with the Dark Lord's own wand.
Unbeknownst to young Harry Potter and his friends, their school had come under assault by unidentified individuals who were presumably more Death Eaters. According to witnesses in the nearby wizarding village of Hogsmeade, Hogwarts was transfigured into a giant effigy of the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore and then destroyed. Miraculously, most of the staff and student body survived though they have no memories of the event except that a strange, unidentified witch somehow apparated onto the grounds and shielded them from falling debris. The only witness who could describe the attackers is unfortunately severely traumatized, his account hysterical and questionable according to sources in the Ministry.
In addition, the entire wizarding world mourns the loss of Albus Dumbledore, a victim of this dastardly sneak attack.
***
"Oh, c'mon," Xander scoffed, interrupting Willow's reading of the local newspaper. "How dense are these people?"
"Shh, you're making a scene," Willow replied.
The gang plus Dawn were sitting in an ice cream shop. The shop itself fronted some kind of wizard's street. After some discreet questioning, Buffy had said that the place was called "Diagonal Alley" or something. The place was populated by some kind of subculture of wizards hiding from the largely nonmagical world. The school the gang had helped to inadvertently destroy was apparently part of this subculture.
"Willow, the guy in charge of this Hogwarts school was an evil wizard," Xander continued in a quieter voice. "How could these people not catch on?"
"I think he was like Mayor Wilkins," Willow guessed. "He had everyone fooled too. The Mayor had all the nice guy mannerisms even when he was being evil."
"Also, I have some files on this Dumbledore person," the Watcher added. He was examining his ice cream sundae, more dissecting than eating it. "In most realities, he is exactly what he appears to be: the epitome of the good and wise wizard. But inevitably, there must be some realities where so-called 'Evil Twins' exist. Probability theory demands that."
"Whoa there," Buffy interrupted, "hold the technobabble for someone who's interested. And stop torturing your ice cream and eat it already."
"Hey, I was interested," Willow objected.
"Great, then you can get some alone time with Giles." Buffy began.
"I am NOT this Giles person!"
".and ask him where he won't put the rest of us to sleep," Buffy continued, ignoring the Time Lord's interruption. She turned to Dawn, obviously considering the topic closed. "How are you feeling?"
"Um, better," Dawn replied, pausing from eating her own sundae. "This is really strange. You're Buffy, but not my Buffy."
"You get used to it," Buffy told her, shrugging.
"Easy for you to say," Xander grumbled, rubbing his shoulder in remembered pain. "You're not the one who's getting broken bones every time he turns around."
"Whatever," Buffy said, unconcerned. "You're healthy and whole now. That's what counts." Turning back to Dawn, Buffy asked in a Big Sister tone, "And what did you learn out of all this?"
"I learned not to sell myself or parts of myself to nasty wizards," Dawn answered contritely.
"Good," Buffy beamed.
"I'll just sell powerful magical artifacts to said nasty wizards like I did before," Dawn added. "Oh, and I'm raising my rates."
Buffy scowled. She opened her mouth to object.
"Right, gotta go!" Dawn said quickly. "I'm running late for a business appointment. I'll come back for Spike later. Bye!" With a flash of green light, Dawn was gone. A few of the other customers glanced their way, but people disappearing into thin air weren't all that unusual here.
The rest of the gang sat there for several moments, staring at the spot where Dawn had been. Then they turned to look at the Watcher.
"So, where exactly is Deadboy Junior anyway?" Xander asked.
"Now that I think about it," Willow said thoughtfully, "I haven't seen him since we got back from rescuing Dawn."
"Ah, yes, the vampire?" the Watcher mused. "The last I saw of this Spike, he was leaving my TARDIS on some errand or another. Far be it from me to restrain someone from leaving me in peace."
"Hmm, I suppose Spike can take care of himself," Buffy added.
They ate their ice cream in silence for a few moments.
"Um, guys?" Willow said finally. She sounded mildly concerned.
"What is it, Willow?" Xander asked.
"How are we going to pay for this?" Willow asked, holding up her empty bowl. "Dawn was the only one with any local money."
"Pay?" Buffy asked, as if surprised by the idea. She glanced down at her new outfit that had been 'borrowed' from an alternate version of herself.
"Yes, pay," Willow confirmed. "We're supposed to be the good guys. We don't go around stealing stuff. What kind of example would we be setting for Dawn?"
Grudgingly, Buffy conceded her point.
"Okay, we ought to pay," Xander agreed. "Isn't this how we started? We went shopping without any money. Well here we are again. Where are we going to get some local cash?"
All eyes turned to the Watcher.
"Oh, no. Absolutely not," the Time Lord objected. "Besides, I don't have any local currency."
"Guys, relax," Buffy said, looking out the window and across the street. "We'll simply draw money out of my bank account."
"But wouldn't any bank account that you have be in another dimension?" Willow asked, confused.
"Yeah, but I know a middleman who can get me access," Buffy said cheerfully, still staring across the street.
Curious, the others turned to see what Buffy was looking at. There across the street was a sign emblazoned: WOLFRAM & HART, LEGAL SERVICES
***
Worlds away, in a reality where a world had died under and exchange of magical and nuclear fire, something stirred. Beside a freshly closed crevice, dirt was pushed aside as a feminine figure in tattered clothing dug herself out of the ground.
Her eyes blazing in fury and hatred, Willowmorte vowed revenge on her other self. She had depleted all her power reserves saving herself from her double's attack. That very depletion had apparently fooled her good double into thinking that Willowmorte was dead. That, Willowmorte decided, would let her get her revenge on Willow Rosenberg. All she needed was a little magic.
.in a world where there was no magic. Everything was dead here by her hand. There was nothing living from which to drain energy. Willowmorte had already consumed everything. There was nothing left.
Willowmorte was stuck here. Alone.
***
Harry Potter looked over the remains of what had felt like his home for the past five years. Hogwarts had been more of a home to him than the Dursleys' had ever been. Now it was just a pile of rubble. Any elation his victory over Voldemort had given him had been instantly squelched by the news of the school's destruction.
Wandering among the debris, a slow fury came over Harry. Someone had come and destroyed his school, his home. Someone had killed Albus Dumbledore, his mentor. And the Ministry had no idea who had done this. Looking at the ruins of his life, Harry vowed to hunt down those responsible and make them pay.
A golden glint caught his eye.
Bending down, Harry plucked a shiny gold ring from the dust. It was an exquisite design. Someone had engraved some kind of writing on the inner surface. This ring, Harry decided, would serve as a reminder of what he had lost and sought to avenge: something Precious.
By Nopporn Wongrassamee, the Evil Author
VOLDEMORT SLAIN, HOGWARTS DESTROYED Story by Reeta Skeeter
Hogsmeade, Scotland - In a bizarre series of events yesterday, the greatest dark wizard in recent times was slain by the famous Harry Potter. Alas, this victory did not come without a high cost. As the Boy Who lived fought with Voldemort inside the Ministry of Magic, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was attacked and destroyed by forces unknown. Details of both events are still sketchy as the Ministry of Magic are still investigating, but this Daily Prophet reporter has learned enough to get a general outline of events.
In the first, Harry Potter somehow learned that Voldemort and his Death Eaters were breaking into the Ministry of magic. Potter and a small circle of his friends set out to stop them and amazingly succeeded. Potter and his friends held off double their number of Death Eaters and Voldmort himself until a crack team of Aurors could arrive on the scene. Potter himself along with the assistance classmate Neville Lotbutt fought and slew Voldemort with the Dark Lord's own wand.
Unbeknownst to young Harry Potter and his friends, their school had come under assault by unidentified individuals who were presumably more Death Eaters. According to witnesses in the nearby wizarding village of Hogsmeade, Hogwarts was transfigured into a giant effigy of the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore and then destroyed. Miraculously, most of the staff and student body survived though they have no memories of the event except that a strange, unidentified witch somehow apparated onto the grounds and shielded them from falling debris. The only witness who could describe the attackers is unfortunately severely traumatized, his account hysterical and questionable according to sources in the Ministry.
In addition, the entire wizarding world mourns the loss of Albus Dumbledore, a victim of this dastardly sneak attack.
***
"Oh, c'mon," Xander scoffed, interrupting Willow's reading of the local newspaper. "How dense are these people?"
"Shh, you're making a scene," Willow replied.
The gang plus Dawn were sitting in an ice cream shop. The shop itself fronted some kind of wizard's street. After some discreet questioning, Buffy had said that the place was called "Diagonal Alley" or something. The place was populated by some kind of subculture of wizards hiding from the largely nonmagical world. The school the gang had helped to inadvertently destroy was apparently part of this subculture.
"Willow, the guy in charge of this Hogwarts school was an evil wizard," Xander continued in a quieter voice. "How could these people not catch on?"
"I think he was like Mayor Wilkins," Willow guessed. "He had everyone fooled too. The Mayor had all the nice guy mannerisms even when he was being evil."
"Also, I have some files on this Dumbledore person," the Watcher added. He was examining his ice cream sundae, more dissecting than eating it. "In most realities, he is exactly what he appears to be: the epitome of the good and wise wizard. But inevitably, there must be some realities where so-called 'Evil Twins' exist. Probability theory demands that."
"Whoa there," Buffy interrupted, "hold the technobabble for someone who's interested. And stop torturing your ice cream and eat it already."
"Hey, I was interested," Willow objected.
"Great, then you can get some alone time with Giles." Buffy began.
"I am NOT this Giles person!"
".and ask him where he won't put the rest of us to sleep," Buffy continued, ignoring the Time Lord's interruption. She turned to Dawn, obviously considering the topic closed. "How are you feeling?"
"Um, better," Dawn replied, pausing from eating her own sundae. "This is really strange. You're Buffy, but not my Buffy."
"You get used to it," Buffy told her, shrugging.
"Easy for you to say," Xander grumbled, rubbing his shoulder in remembered pain. "You're not the one who's getting broken bones every time he turns around."
"Whatever," Buffy said, unconcerned. "You're healthy and whole now. That's what counts." Turning back to Dawn, Buffy asked in a Big Sister tone, "And what did you learn out of all this?"
"I learned not to sell myself or parts of myself to nasty wizards," Dawn answered contritely.
"Good," Buffy beamed.
"I'll just sell powerful magical artifacts to said nasty wizards like I did before," Dawn added. "Oh, and I'm raising my rates."
Buffy scowled. She opened her mouth to object.
"Right, gotta go!" Dawn said quickly. "I'm running late for a business appointment. I'll come back for Spike later. Bye!" With a flash of green light, Dawn was gone. A few of the other customers glanced their way, but people disappearing into thin air weren't all that unusual here.
The rest of the gang sat there for several moments, staring at the spot where Dawn had been. Then they turned to look at the Watcher.
"So, where exactly is Deadboy Junior anyway?" Xander asked.
"Now that I think about it," Willow said thoughtfully, "I haven't seen him since we got back from rescuing Dawn."
"Ah, yes, the vampire?" the Watcher mused. "The last I saw of this Spike, he was leaving my TARDIS on some errand or another. Far be it from me to restrain someone from leaving me in peace."
"Hmm, I suppose Spike can take care of himself," Buffy added.
They ate their ice cream in silence for a few moments.
"Um, guys?" Willow said finally. She sounded mildly concerned.
"What is it, Willow?" Xander asked.
"How are we going to pay for this?" Willow asked, holding up her empty bowl. "Dawn was the only one with any local money."
"Pay?" Buffy asked, as if surprised by the idea. She glanced down at her new outfit that had been 'borrowed' from an alternate version of herself.
"Yes, pay," Willow confirmed. "We're supposed to be the good guys. We don't go around stealing stuff. What kind of example would we be setting for Dawn?"
Grudgingly, Buffy conceded her point.
"Okay, we ought to pay," Xander agreed. "Isn't this how we started? We went shopping without any money. Well here we are again. Where are we going to get some local cash?"
All eyes turned to the Watcher.
"Oh, no. Absolutely not," the Time Lord objected. "Besides, I don't have any local currency."
"Guys, relax," Buffy said, looking out the window and across the street. "We'll simply draw money out of my bank account."
"But wouldn't any bank account that you have be in another dimension?" Willow asked, confused.
"Yeah, but I know a middleman who can get me access," Buffy said cheerfully, still staring across the street.
Curious, the others turned to see what Buffy was looking at. There across the street was a sign emblazoned: WOLFRAM & HART, LEGAL SERVICES
***
Worlds away, in a reality where a world had died under and exchange of magical and nuclear fire, something stirred. Beside a freshly closed crevice, dirt was pushed aside as a feminine figure in tattered clothing dug herself out of the ground.
Her eyes blazing in fury and hatred, Willowmorte vowed revenge on her other self. She had depleted all her power reserves saving herself from her double's attack. That very depletion had apparently fooled her good double into thinking that Willowmorte was dead. That, Willowmorte decided, would let her get her revenge on Willow Rosenberg. All she needed was a little magic.
.in a world where there was no magic. Everything was dead here by her hand. There was nothing living from which to drain energy. Willowmorte had already consumed everything. There was nothing left.
Willowmorte was stuck here. Alone.
***
Harry Potter looked over the remains of what had felt like his home for the past five years. Hogwarts had been more of a home to him than the Dursleys' had ever been. Now it was just a pile of rubble. Any elation his victory over Voldemort had given him had been instantly squelched by the news of the school's destruction.
Wandering among the debris, a slow fury came over Harry. Someone had come and destroyed his school, his home. Someone had killed Albus Dumbledore, his mentor. And the Ministry had no idea who had done this. Looking at the ruins of his life, Harry vowed to hunt down those responsible and make them pay.
A golden glint caught his eye.
Bending down, Harry plucked a shiny gold ring from the dust. It was an exquisite design. Someone had engraved some kind of writing on the inner surface. This ring, Harry decided, would serve as a reminder of what he had lost and sought to avenge: something Precious.
