Act 3 Scene 1

(Enter Percy, Dean, Seamus, Lee, Neville, and Collin)

Percy: Is everyone here?

Dean: What a great place this is to rehearse, not a soul in sight! Does everyone have their scripts.

(Scripts are produced by all)

Dean: good, lets rehearse

(Enter Fred an George)

George: (in a whisper) Hey look there's Percy!

Fred: (also in a whisper) Looking self-important as usual.

George: You know ickle Ronnykin's is sleeping just over there.

Fred: Are you thinking what I'm thinking

Percy: (reciting his lines) Odors savors sweet so hath thy breath, my dearest Thisby dear. But hark a voice stay thou but here a while, and by and by I will to thee appear.

(Exit Percy and George and Fred after him)

Lee: (looking at Dean pleadingly) Do I have to?

Dean: Yes, now get on with it!

Lee: (In a high pitched voice) Most radiant Pyramus, most Lilly-white of hue, of color like the red rose on triumphant brier most briskly juvenile and eke most lovely jew, as true as truest horse that yet would never tire. I'll meet thee at Ninny's tomb

Dean: Get it right that's Ninu's tomb you idiot.

Lee: Well sorry! It's kind of difficult when you don't even understand a word your saying. Couldn't we have picked a modern play?

Dean: I didn't pick the play Percy did. Hey where is Percy?

(Enter Fred, George, and Percy who has the head of a donkey)

Percy: (reciting) If I were fair Thisby I were only thine

All: AHHHHH!!!!!!! MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Neville faints, but is caught under the arms by Seamus and dragged off stage. The others run off as well)

Percy: (With a nervous laugh) Ha, I know what their trying to do their trying to make a fool of me; trying to pull some stupid prank on me. Well I won't fall for it I'm staying right here!

(Hums to himself to show his lack of fear though he glances around him nervously)

Hermionie: (waking up and yelling grumpily) What is all that racket?!!! (spies Percy) Oh an angel, what beautiful music you make!

Percy: (obviously impressed by Hermionie's beauty and not realizing who she is) Well, my lady, I always was very musical

Hermionie You are extremely handsome besides. Stay with me awhile. Fairies!

(enter Lavender, Katie, Pravati, and Angelina as Fairies)

Katie: (wing catches on twig) Stupid, son of a.... Retarted......*@#!^&!$! (Finally manages to free wing, but tears it in the process)

(Lavender scowls at her lack of grace)

Angelina: (with her wings on crooked) I object to this idiocy! (in vain she attempts to straighten them)

Katie: It's not fair, Alicia gets to play an amazon queen and we get suck playing stupid retarded gay fairies!

Pravati (sighing) Honestly I don't know why you were cast as fairies either! You lend absolutely no dignity to the part!

Lavender: (with her nose in the air) I can't believe you two!

(Katie and Angelina stick their tongue out at her)

Lavender: Oh yes, real mature! (turns her back on them and in doing so slips in mud and falls flat on her face)

(Katie and Angelina laugh hysterically. Lavender glowers at them as she rises dripping with mud)

Angelina: Hey Lavender, maybe if your nose wasn't in the air all the time you wouldn't be such a klutz!

Hermionie: Hellooo, your queen summoned you for a reason!

(They all straighten up and try to look dignified, try being the operative word)

Hermionie: I would like you to attend this handsome gentleman.

Angelina: (Aside to Katie) Handsome? Me thinks this latest tiff with King Ron has tipped her off her rocker.

Katie: Yea, well it's best just to humor her.

Hermionie: Lead him to my home and wait on him.

(Exit all)

Scene 2

(Enter Ron)

Ron: (giggling to himself) I wonder if she's woken up yet.

(Enter Fred and George)

Ron: So what have you two been up to?

Fred: (attempting to fake innocence) Oh nothing.

George: We just made you queen Hermionie fall in love with a guy with the head of a donkey.

Ron: (shaking with laughter) Oooo, that's great! I can't wait to see it.

(Enter Draco and Cho. Ron and the twins stand aside)

Cho: Leave me alone you bloody git! What have you done to Harry? He never would have abandoned me so you must have something to do with it!

Draco: I have no idea what you are talking about! Sure I'd like to kill him, but I haven't seen him since I entered this bloody forest.

Cho: Don't lie to me I know you've done something to him. He's probably out there somewhere bleeding to death if not dead already! Oh my darling Harry I must find you!

(Exit Cho)

Draco: (sighs) This whole night has been a bust. I'm sick of running around all over the place. I think I'll rest before I continue this wild goose chase.

(He lies down and falls asleep)

Ron: (noticing the wicked glint in Fred and George's eyes) You guys have been messing with those four haven't you?

Fred: Only a tiny bit.

Ron: What did you DO?!

George: Well we knew you were upset about Ginny chasing after Draco....

Fred: And we figured if Harry showed some interest in her she'd like him and not Draco.

George: So we used to love potion to make him fall in love with her.

Ron: I can't believe you two!! Can't you stay out of mischief for two seconds! This is a disaster! Harry in love with Ginny! My Best friend and my little sister! You idiots, I don't care how you do it, BUT FIX IT NOW!!!!

Fred: (sobbing dramatically into a handkerchief) We're hurt little bro.

George: (tears rolling down his cheek) Yea, we try to help and all you do is yell at us.

Fred: (blows his nose and continues to sob) We try so hard.

George: (excepting a second hanky from Fred and using it to dab away tears) There's just no pleasing you.

Ron: (unmoved by the twin's theatrical display) Oh shut it you two and GET TO WORK!!!!

(Exit Ron)

Fred: (putting drops in Draco's eyes and chuckling) He said he didn't care how we fixed it.

George: We are on a roll tonight.

(Enter Harry and Ginny. Fred and George stand aside)

Harry: My love how could you ever think I would be cruel to you?

(Fred passes some popcorn to George)

Ginny: Stop it Harry! This joke has gone on too long, your worse then Fred and George! I hate you and I'll never speak to you again if you don't stop it right this instant.

Harry: My love is no joke, my dear I can't stop loving you! I don't know what I was thinking when I said I loved Cho, it's you I truly care for!

(Draco wakes up)

Draco: Oh Ginny my Goddess! You are the most beautiful woman in all the world. There are none that can compare with you. I love you!! (grabs her hand and kisses it and then proceeds to kiss all the way up her arm)

(Fred and George laugh hysterically)

Ginny: (yanks her hand away a wails) YOU BOTH HATE ME I KNOW IT!!!

Harry: Stop it Draco. It's not nice to tease Ginny when you hate her and are in love with Cho. Oh and by the way you can have her. I've discovered my undying love for the sweet and gentle Ginny. (tires to wrap his arms around her. She struggles and tries to pry him off her)

Draco: (grabbing hold of Ginny and trying to pull her away form Harry) Get your hands off my love. You can keep Cho! I don't want her anymore. The wonderful Goddess Ginny is the one for me!

(Enter Cho)

Cho: Harry what's going on?

(Harry is wrapped in a tug of war for Ginny and ignores her)

Cho: HARRY WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD ARE YOU DOING!!!! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?!!!!!!!!

Harry: I woke from the spell you placed on me and realized that Ginny is my one true love, now stop distracting me. (continues tug of war)

Cho: What on earth are you thinking Harry? YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN LOVE WITH ME YOU WORTHLESS GIT!!!!!!!!!!

Ginny: Great your in on it too are you Cho? The whole world, it seems is, mocking me!

Cho: I have no idea what you talking about, is this some sort of sick joke?

Ginny: So it would seem. You put them up to this didn't you?!

Cho: What on earth are you thinking, COULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON!!!

Ginny: I can't take this any more (tries to break away from Harry and Draco.

Harry: Don't go my sweet. I love you!

Draco: Let go of her you dolt I love her more!

Harry: Yea, well why don't you prove it you cowardly wuss!

Cho: No you can't Harry, you love me (wraps her arms around him to restrain him)

Harry: (struggling to get free) Let go of me you insane woman, how many times I have to tell you that I don't like you any more. I love Ginny.

Cho: (letting go of Harry and turning to Ginny) You!!! This is all your fault, you seduced him!!!!!!! You're jealous because both Draco and Harry loved me, but did you stop with just fooling Draco into falling in love with you? NO, you had to steal Harry too.

Ginny: You are the one who's jealous! I did nothing to encourage this and now that both your little beaus have discovered you're not all you're cracked up to be you blame it all on me!

Cho: You little Slut! (launches herself at Ginny)

Fred: (whispering to George) Hey look a cat fight!

George claps his hands with glee and offers Fred the popcorn)

(Ginny and Cho yank hair, claw at one another, push, kick, and bite)

(Finally after a good few minutes Harry and Draco manage to pry them apart)

Cho: Let me at her, I'll tear your hair out you boyfriend thief!!!

(Ginny, who believes that discretion is the better part of valor, and who has also been loosing, decides to run for it. Draco manages to hold of Cho long enough for her to get a good head start.)

Harry: Enough of this! Lets finish this. Follow if your not too chicken. (Draws wand and exits running)

(Draco runs after him)

Cho: I'll get that little twerp!

(Exit Cho)

Fred: That was so funny I laughed until it hurt.

George: I think we've out done ourselves.

Fred: For sure.

George: So Should we wrap this up?

Fred: I hate to end the fun, but it's almost morning, and I don't know about you, but I'm tired.

George: I hear you! I don't think we've ever had such a night of solid pranking.

(Enter Harry)

Harry: What's the matter Draco too afraid I beat the crap out of you like I do in dueling club? Show yourself you coward.

Fred: (sounding like Draco) I'm ready and waiting you slow poke. I'm over here. Come challenge me if you dare!

Harry: Ha! You'll wish you were dead by the time I get through with you!

Exit Harry following Fred's voice)

Enter Draco)

Draco: Where are you, you coward? Run away have you? Scared Potter?

George: (sounding like Harry) I'm over here you dolt! Catch me if you can you weakling!

(Exit Draco following George's voice)

(Enter Harry)

Harry: That bloody coward won't stay still long enough to face me. I've had enough of him, I'll catch up with him tomorrow and give him what he deserves. (lies down and falls asleep)

(Enter Draco)

Draco: Where are you Potter? Why don't you face me like a man? (Sits down to catch his breath) I think I'll rest here for the night and get that coward in the morning. (lies down and falls asleep.)

(Enter Ginny)

Ginny: (looking around her) Good, I think I've lost her! Good thing too, 'cuse I can't run anymore. I think I'll take a little nap. (lies down and falls asleep)

(Enter Cho)

Cho: That little runt is faster then I thought. I'll just rest up and catch her in the morning. I'll rip that little redheaded vixen limb from limb. (yawns and lies down to sleep)

(Fred and George step out of their hiding place)

Fred: You have the vile of anti-love potion.

(George produces vile and hands it to Fred. Fred puts drops in Harry's eyes)

George: Should we do Draco's as well?

(They look at each other an smile wickedly)

Fred and George: Naaa.

(Exit Fred and George)