Rociel's Journal 2

Day 3 Continued

Okay, it's been like an hour since we threw that bag through the window, and Setsuna hasn't come yet. Sara keeps asking why no one is dancing, and the gangsters are bored, so they've started a truly horrendous freestyle rap contest. I'm going to send a second note. What could get Alexial here quickly, what did she love most in the world . . . Ah, it's down to either sex or Pokemon. I'll use both. Now she has to come!

Later

AHHHHH!!!! OH GOD!!! SARA'S READING FROM THAT DAMN BOOK!!!! A JELLYFISH!!! THEY'RE USING A JELLYFISH!!! IN SEX!!! OH, I'LL NEVER BE CLEAN AGAIN!!! IT'S LIKE I'M BEING AURALLY RAPED!!! WITH A JELLYFISH!!! WHY, GOD, WHY???!!~!

Later
Not a good day. Alexial showed up and wouldn't shut up about the "Sexy Pokemon secret" so I had to threaten to kill Sara, and that kind of got his attention (though he kept asking if he was on Candid Camera) until Mom/Dad showed up. For a good ten minutes it was "Why don't you call me anymore?" and "Are you wearing clean underwear?" and "You know, I've had to spend the last 2000 Mother's AND Father's Days alone, don't you have anything to say to me?" I've got an entire warehouse full of minions and people I have to keep impressed, and Adam Kadamon is lecturing me about not forgetting to wash behind my ears and my "wee-wee".

Fortunately Katan showed up and got me out of there, but now he's pestering me about meeting my parent, and until he does he's placed a grievous, horrible, terrible ban on me! Things just gets worse and worse all the time.

Day 4

So, to make myself feel better, I decided to go to Sara's house and tell her she's a bitch, because belittling people always makes me feel better. Unfortunately, she was asleep, so I bent down to her ear and told her that I was dating Setsuna and she was an ugly whore. I also told her to burn her book and smother herself with the ashes. Then I chanted "You want to eat cookies, you want to eat cookies" in her ears. I love that mental manipulation stuff.

I had a capsule on hand, and I was going to make her into a minion when Katan showed up and started whining about not killing innocents because it was morally wrong. That is a load of bullshit; first of all, no one is truly innocent, because of original sin, and also, I really really want to kill innocents, and shouldn't my desire override any ethical misgivings he might have?

So I ended up giving him the capsule instead, because I refuse to have any whiners in my army. (And now he can't beg off when I want to screw!) He's in the bathroom now, yelling at me and trying to induce vomiting. Hey, there's only one way that capsule's coming out, and it's certainly not the way it went in, but I'm not telling him that.

I feel better now, but I don't think I actually accomplished anything these past two days. I mean, I didn't kill Sara or Setsuna, I didn't make Sara into a slave, I lost a bunch of minions in that warehouse, and I made one, but he was already pretty loyal to me without the pill and now he won't stop bitching. Adding it up mentally, it seems like I lost this round.

. . . I did, didn't I? Wow, that sucks. Normally I would go look at myself in the mirror and tell myself how gorgeous I am, to cheer myself up, but Katan's locked himself in the only room with a mirror, and he's probably not coming out anytime soon. I think I'll go hang out with that lovely street gang I met a few days ago. They offered to introduce me to a top tier "pimp", which I suppose is like their prime minister.

I have to get all pretty; I've got a lovely leopard skin and purple feather suit I haven't worn yet. Top it off with a feather boa and a pair of gold platforms, and I'll be ready for anything!

Later

I met the pimp. We were wearing the same thing, I was so embarrassed. Otherwise, it went okay; according to him I'm a "high-quality bitch", which I think means I'm now a member of the gang's government.

Katan still refuses to let me do my groove thang on him, or at least, until I apologize. Under normal conditions, I would say "If I didn't apologize to all the people I've killed in just these past couple of days, what chance to do you have?" but I really want to sex him up. The pimp gave me some tips that apparently will keep "customers" (It was an odd choice of words for him to use, I'll admit) coming back for more and I'd really like to try them out.

I'm starting to think about staying on Assiah; it's a lot more fun than Heaven, and I seem to connect so well with humans I have no doubt that I could be world ruler in no time at all. After all, I'm no "skanky ass cracker"; I'm a "bling-blinging straight-up ho!"