Arakune's Journal 2
Day 4
I love Assiah! They've got the cutest boutiques, and the tastiest guys (they're both physically attractive and delicious to snack on!), and not only is there vibrating furniture, there's cable! I can watch scrambled porn, or make fun of Melissa Rivers for being untalented, or get the number of a psychic with a Caribbean accent who could change my life! You know what, I'm going to stay. Sure, the Empire's going to fall apart without something pretty (i.e., me) to look at, but who cares? I'm having a fabulous time! And ooh, Oprah is on! I'll write more later, she's going to tell me how I can be sexy AND smart at the same time!
Later
That yellow rat-thing Kurai left with me is talking. It keeps saying something about "going to the place where things are no longer stored, the one of your blood is in danger, Pikachu", or some shit like that, so I locked it in the closet.
A minute ago I think it screamed "Go to 1313 West Street you slutty-ass queer, Kurai needs your help, Pikachu!" Well, I couldn't let it get away with that, obviously, so I opened the closet door, threw my stilettos at it, and locked it in again. Like I'm going to go help Kurai now; "Friends" is on!
. . . Wait. The stuffed ferret just said something about a sale. A sale . . . At Forever 21 . . . 50% off! 1313 West Street, Pikachu! I'm out of here!
More Later
Okay, there wasn't a sale (Damn you, prophetic hamster!) but there was some type of weird party going on, and everyone was playing some kinky game where a girl gets tied to a chair and there are a bunch of guys with tentacles. It looked like my kind of game, actually.
But before I got my turn this guy shows up, and not a regular guy, but this guy with REALLY GREAT HAIR! It was absolutely amazing, how good his hair was; I couldn't get over it. Also, he was about two stories tall. Anyway, everyone is in awe, and he starts talking about angels or something, and all I can think is, "What does this guy use as shampoo?", and finally I ask him. Everyone gives me this funny look (They were jealous I thought of it first), and he blows me off! He just fades back into the ether, and I still haven't gotten a goddamn answer! Now I'm going to be up all night thinking about it.
Then Kurai got all pissy with me, because she must like her split ends, and as she always does when she gets pissy, she starts whining about Alexial, her family being dead, the war and some other boring shit. It was really awkward, and nearly everyone left because of it (She just won't get over the whole "death of everyone she cares about" thing; it's really sad. I think I'm going to send her to Dr. Phil or something).
So everyone's gone, until this OTHER hot guy shows up, and he had great hair too, or would, if he'd cut the mullet thing he's got going on. He's all, hey baby, and I'm like, how YOU doing, and he's totally into me, and talking about how hot I am, when Kurai interrupts and tells me to kill him! She was soooo jealous, and it was so obvious, but I ended up doing it anyway, because he started feeling me up, and I'd prefer a dinner and a movie, or at least twenty bucks, before the funny stuff starts going on. It was really too bad, since I didn't even get his hair care secrets before I killed him.
So now I'm back at the motel, enjoying the vibrating bed once again. For once Kurai isn't bitching about it either; she took the clairvoyant gerbil thing and is in the bathroom sobbing uncontrollably. I want to go in there and tell her that Alexial has said no, she's not interested in pursuing a relationship anymore, and to get over it, and to pick herself up, dust herself off, and get back into the game, because she's spent too many sleepless nights mooning over that angel. I want to, but Survivor is on, and I really don't want to get up, so maybe later.
Day 4
I love Assiah! They've got the cutest boutiques, and the tastiest guys (they're both physically attractive and delicious to snack on!), and not only is there vibrating furniture, there's cable! I can watch scrambled porn, or make fun of Melissa Rivers for being untalented, or get the number of a psychic with a Caribbean accent who could change my life! You know what, I'm going to stay. Sure, the Empire's going to fall apart without something pretty (i.e., me) to look at, but who cares? I'm having a fabulous time! And ooh, Oprah is on! I'll write more later, she's going to tell me how I can be sexy AND smart at the same time!
Later
That yellow rat-thing Kurai left with me is talking. It keeps saying something about "going to the place where things are no longer stored, the one of your blood is in danger, Pikachu", or some shit like that, so I locked it in the closet.
A minute ago I think it screamed "Go to 1313 West Street you slutty-ass queer, Kurai needs your help, Pikachu!" Well, I couldn't let it get away with that, obviously, so I opened the closet door, threw my stilettos at it, and locked it in again. Like I'm going to go help Kurai now; "Friends" is on!
. . . Wait. The stuffed ferret just said something about a sale. A sale . . . At Forever 21 . . . 50% off! 1313 West Street, Pikachu! I'm out of here!
More Later
Okay, there wasn't a sale (Damn you, prophetic hamster!) but there was some type of weird party going on, and everyone was playing some kinky game where a girl gets tied to a chair and there are a bunch of guys with tentacles. It looked like my kind of game, actually.
But before I got my turn this guy shows up, and not a regular guy, but this guy with REALLY GREAT HAIR! It was absolutely amazing, how good his hair was; I couldn't get over it. Also, he was about two stories tall. Anyway, everyone is in awe, and he starts talking about angels or something, and all I can think is, "What does this guy use as shampoo?", and finally I ask him. Everyone gives me this funny look (They were jealous I thought of it first), and he blows me off! He just fades back into the ether, and I still haven't gotten a goddamn answer! Now I'm going to be up all night thinking about it.
Then Kurai got all pissy with me, because she must like her split ends, and as she always does when she gets pissy, she starts whining about Alexial, her family being dead, the war and some other boring shit. It was really awkward, and nearly everyone left because of it (She just won't get over the whole "death of everyone she cares about" thing; it's really sad. I think I'm going to send her to Dr. Phil or something).
So everyone's gone, until this OTHER hot guy shows up, and he had great hair too, or would, if he'd cut the mullet thing he's got going on. He's all, hey baby, and I'm like, how YOU doing, and he's totally into me, and talking about how hot I am, when Kurai interrupts and tells me to kill him! She was soooo jealous, and it was so obvious, but I ended up doing it anyway, because he started feeling me up, and I'd prefer a dinner and a movie, or at least twenty bucks, before the funny stuff starts going on. It was really too bad, since I didn't even get his hair care secrets before I killed him.
So now I'm back at the motel, enjoying the vibrating bed once again. For once Kurai isn't bitching about it either; she took the clairvoyant gerbil thing and is in the bathroom sobbing uncontrollably. I want to go in there and tell her that Alexial has said no, she's not interested in pursuing a relationship anymore, and to get over it, and to pick herself up, dust herself off, and get back into the game, because she's spent too many sleepless nights mooning over that angel. I want to, but Survivor is on, and I really don't want to get up, so maybe later.
