Kurai's Journal 2

Day 6

I've decided to give up on Alexial. The person's she become doesn't seem too keen on the idea of being taken to Gehenna and being put into a strange woman's body so I can get my card back, and Assiah has drained us dry. I have no more money left, and all Arakune will do is sit on the vibrating bed in the motel and watch QVC. It's shut her up, which is a good thing, but it can't be healthy for her. I left "What-Sayeth-You, Pikachu?" with her to make sure she's okay. That, and it was starting to really piss me off.

So I guess that's the end of the mission. Everything was in vain. You know, this guy probably isn't Alexial anyway. He doesn't really look like her, and Alexial definitely had more Pokemon key chains than him. Well, if that's the way it goes . . .

Ah!! Wait a second! The not-Alexial guy just went running by. And he's got Pokemon cards in his back pocket!! A deck of Pokemon cards!! And is that . . . IT IS!! IT'S A HOLOGRAPHIC CHARIZARD CARD!!! I HAVE TO HAVE IT!!!

Later
Okay, I'm in the bathroom of the motel, crying like crazy and my ever helpful cousin Arakune is yelling stuff like "You have to start living as a gay woman", and "The only common denominator is you!" through the door. I think she got those from Dr. Phil.

As to why I'm crying. I followed Setsuna to the warehouse. Things went badly. We had to kill a guy. Some terrible memories came back to me. And "What-Sayeth-You, Pikachu?" won't stop complaining that Arakune threw her whore boots at him and locked him in a closet.

Okay, specifics. I did follow him all the way there, where some type of showdown was going down. At first I thought, okay, I'll wait for Setsuna and everyone else to kill each other off, and just take the card off his corpse, when the girl I blinded shows up, and it turns out she's some type of high-ranking angel. I was about to leave, since she probably wasn't going to be overly happy if she saw me, when Arakune rushed in, mumbled something about a sale, and locked the doors behind her, so "no one else can get the incredible savings she's about to get".

So, I'm trapped in a gang battle with an angel who would probably rip out my intestines and strangle me with them if she could, and my idiot cousin is frantically looking for the bargain bins that, of course, weren't there. Everyone starts to turn into monsters, I tell Setsuna that he has to awaken and use his true powers, and while his itty bitty mind is processing that, I'm trying to pull the card out of his back pocket as stealthily as I can.

But all of a sudden there's a flash of light, and this beautiful, kind, serene being appears in the air and knocks us all off our feet. The angel disappears after a bit, the monsters are eradicated, and for the first time in thousands of years I'm left with this calm feeling, like everything is going to turn out all right for me, and I can't believe how fantastic it is. The entity begins to speak, I'm floating in an ocean of endless luminescence, and all I can see is sun and sky and sea.

And Arakune's shrill voice cuts across it, and begs the being to tell her what shampoo it uses.

When it doesn't answer right away, she asks if it uses infant blood in its hair, and she tried infant blood once, but it's so expensive, and it's not the best conditioner, and it's so hard to get quality infant blood these days and people get so touchy if you want to kill their baby and use its fluids for hair care products. And so on and so on, for about a million years.

So the spirit disappears, Arakune screeches "How rude!" and I realize that I'm bruised, tired, and lying on a concrete floor. There's no one there that really cares about me, I don't have my card, and playing in my head are clips of the war and my family being murdered like I was there again, and I'm choking, and I can't breathe, and it's too much and I break down completely.

Setsuna takes his sister and leaves, without so much as a look back or some sympathy. Arakune, ignoring my tears, asks me where the store keeps its miniskirts, and are those on sale too? And some slack-jawed moron jumps out from behind a pillar, and yells "Holy fuck, what did you just do?"

I will admit, having him killed made me feel better. Just a little, but it helped.

So I've locked myself in the bathroom for some alone time (my stuffed yellow Oracle of Delphi doesn't count), and also because if I have to watch another episode of Survivor my brain is going to start eating itself and dribbling out my ears.

So, why am I crying, you ask? I'M CRYING BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE MY DAMN CHARIZARD CARD, THAT'S WHY, FUCKTARD!!!!

. . . Jesus. I'm going to make a bed out of shower curtains and sleep in the tub. Night.