Katou's Journal 2
Day 2
Okay, I was licking the hand rails near the subway station, because I swear to God you can get such a buzz off them, and this hooker comes by and she asks me where Forever 21 is, and I'm like, hey baby, it's in my pants. And she says "Okay, I know this game, whip it out." And I say "Whip what out?" and she says "You know" and I'm like, "Here?!" and she says "Yeah," and I was getting a bad feeling about this one like maybe she has VD or something, and so I say "Right now?" and she says "Yes, right now, right here" and I'm thinking I should go and finally she says "If it'll make it easier on you, I'll go first" and she whips HERS out and it wasn't a her, it was a him, but I was a little bit trashed, so I pulled mine out and she says "Oh, I can't screw a guy whose package is smaller than mine," and I'm like "It's small but it's mighty, baby!" and she says "Uh huh, by the way, you should get that checked out", and I looked down and little Yue had turned BLACK. So I started screaming "Oh my God, help me, no, help Little Yue!" and was running around like a chicken whose dick had turned black, and to make a long story short, I'm in the police station, though they did take me to the hospital first. Originally the doctors didn't know why Little Yue was black, but it turned out it was because I had drunk some pen ink, because Youji told me it was special liquid cocaine, and I told them that, and they were all, "You couldn't have possibly have ingested that much ink" and I was all "Wanna bet?" and I broke a pen in half and started sucking on the end and they told me just to wait 2 to 3 days for it to get out of my system and for God's sake, get out, they have real patients to attend to. And the police took me back to the station, or the "precinct", as it's called on Law and Order, and I told one of the guys there that he looks just like that Benson guy on SVU, and he tell me "That's a girl", and I say "Whoa, maybe that's why I'm so attracted to him" and I ask if he's a girl because I was kind of attracted to him too, and the guy goes "No, now just sit down and shut up", and while he was fingerprinting me the fingerprint ink accidentally got in my mouth and now Little Yue's friends and neighbors, Little Kira and Little Youji, are turning black too and yes I named my testicles after my friends, do you have a problem with that? Though I'm thinking of renaming Little Youji, since I don't like Youji anymore, because this whole thing is his damn fault. So now it's Little Benson. Anyhoo, I get to spend a night in the drunk tank, and they'll let me go in the morning. I like the drunk tank. It always smells so interesting, and the water's great, because it always get me really wasted and I see all this crazy shit, though the officers say I shouldn't drink out of the toilet 'cause it's gross and for the love of Pete don't put that in your mouth, that's disgusting.
. . . You're not going to tell anyone I lick rails, are you? I mean, I know you're a journal and not a magical talking book like I first thought, but in case I'm wrong, please don't tell. My friends still tease me about the time I smoked Pogs because I thought they were LSD tabs. I really can't take anymore.
Day 3
Blargh. School. Sun's in my eyes. Trying to sleep. Need pills. Kira keeps poking me and laughing. Why, oh why do I lick those rails, when I know they will leave me in such a state in the morning? They're sirens. Mwaaugh. Teacher's saying something. The three amigos down south are still black. Psssht.
Day 2
Okay, I was licking the hand rails near the subway station, because I swear to God you can get such a buzz off them, and this hooker comes by and she asks me where Forever 21 is, and I'm like, hey baby, it's in my pants. And she says "Okay, I know this game, whip it out." And I say "Whip what out?" and she says "You know" and I'm like, "Here?!" and she says "Yeah," and I was getting a bad feeling about this one like maybe she has VD or something, and so I say "Right now?" and she says "Yes, right now, right here" and I'm thinking I should go and finally she says "If it'll make it easier on you, I'll go first" and she whips HERS out and it wasn't a her, it was a him, but I was a little bit trashed, so I pulled mine out and she says "Oh, I can't screw a guy whose package is smaller than mine," and I'm like "It's small but it's mighty, baby!" and she says "Uh huh, by the way, you should get that checked out", and I looked down and little Yue had turned BLACK. So I started screaming "Oh my God, help me, no, help Little Yue!" and was running around like a chicken whose dick had turned black, and to make a long story short, I'm in the police station, though they did take me to the hospital first. Originally the doctors didn't know why Little Yue was black, but it turned out it was because I had drunk some pen ink, because Youji told me it was special liquid cocaine, and I told them that, and they were all, "You couldn't have possibly have ingested that much ink" and I was all "Wanna bet?" and I broke a pen in half and started sucking on the end and they told me just to wait 2 to 3 days for it to get out of my system and for God's sake, get out, they have real patients to attend to. And the police took me back to the station, or the "precinct", as it's called on Law and Order, and I told one of the guys there that he looks just like that Benson guy on SVU, and he tell me "That's a girl", and I say "Whoa, maybe that's why I'm so attracted to him" and I ask if he's a girl because I was kind of attracted to him too, and the guy goes "No, now just sit down and shut up", and while he was fingerprinting me the fingerprint ink accidentally got in my mouth and now Little Yue's friends and neighbors, Little Kira and Little Youji, are turning black too and yes I named my testicles after my friends, do you have a problem with that? Though I'm thinking of renaming Little Youji, since I don't like Youji anymore, because this whole thing is his damn fault. So now it's Little Benson. Anyhoo, I get to spend a night in the drunk tank, and they'll let me go in the morning. I like the drunk tank. It always smells so interesting, and the water's great, because it always get me really wasted and I see all this crazy shit, though the officers say I shouldn't drink out of the toilet 'cause it's gross and for the love of Pete don't put that in your mouth, that's disgusting.
. . . You're not going to tell anyone I lick rails, are you? I mean, I know you're a journal and not a magical talking book like I first thought, but in case I'm wrong, please don't tell. My friends still tease me about the time I smoked Pogs because I thought they were LSD tabs. I really can't take anymore.
Day 3
Blargh. School. Sun's in my eyes. Trying to sleep. Need pills. Kira keeps poking me and laughing. Why, oh why do I lick those rails, when I know they will leave me in such a state in the morning? They're sirens. Mwaaugh. Teacher's saying something. The three amigos down south are still black. Psssht.
