"Can I please switch places with you, Syl?" Zane asked for the thousandth time. She ignored him.

"Wow," Jondy spoke up next. "I can honestly say that I've never been this crowded. We should have stuck with my car. I could have driven all night, too," she pointed out.

"Yippee," Syl said dryly. Jondy frowned at her and squirmed around in the backseat of Krit's SUV. She pouted when Zane nudged her in the ribs.

"Stop wiggling," he said, grinning. "Your car is smaller than this one." She sighed and gave a false pathetic whimper.

"Yeah, but it's mine," she said, laying her head on Tinga's shoulder with a dramatic sigh.

"My cheek," Tinga announced. "Is pressed against the window."

"It's a nice car," Krit kept saying.

"We're not saying it's not nice, man." Zane rolled his eyes. "It's just smaller than we'd like. How come you and Syl get the front seats?

"Because," Krit answered, tossing a smile over his shoulder as he pulled out of the driveway. "The driver gets to pick who sits beside him." He reached for Syl's hand and smiled tenderly at her. "And you're crazy if you think I'm choosing any of you over Syl."

"That is so cute," Tinga said dreamily.

"Yeah, almost makes up for me having to be squished in here," Jondy said dryly.

"Can I drive?"

"No, Zane." There was a pause and then Jondy pouted.

"How come I have to sit in the middle?"

"Because you're the youngest," Zane said logically. She rolled her eyes and there was a short silence in which the breathing of the five of them was all that could be heard.

"Someone tell a story," Jondy spoke up finally.

"Is that what you and Ben did when he was at your place?" Zane asked, voicing the all their curiosity. "Told you stories like old times?" Syl turned in her seat to see Jondy smiling wistfully.

"Something like that," she whispered, then glanced away. "But I don't really want to talk about that right now..." She shrugged, cleared her throat. "Well, if you guys won't tell one then I will, okay?" She thought for a minute, brightened. "Once when I was in grade ten back in Sioux City, Zane decided to do the stupidest thing I have ever-"

"Hey!" Zane interrupted. "That isn't your story, it's mine, and you're going to tell it all wrong and make me look bad." Tinga laughed and rolled her eyes at them.

"Fine," Jondy said, feigning exasperation and giving him a nudge. "You tell it then."

"Okay," he agreed. "If it's the one I'm thinking of."

"How many stupid things did you do in high school?" Syl asked him; he made a face at her.

"Jondy's right, it was grade ten. And I was bored. But, unlike what she said, it was not a stupid idea, it was a good idea. I'd even go so far as to say it was a great idea."

"Oh, I'm sure you would," Jondy said dryly, but he silenced her with a feigned glare.

"What did you do?" Krit asked, glancing in the rear-view mirror.

"Well," Jondy spoke up before he could answer. "Zane here decided that exploding the school gym would be funny, which of course it wasn't."

"I didn't think it would be funny," he protested. "I thought it would be fun. There's a difference. And it's not like there was anyone inside."

"My shoes were inside. My favourite shoes! Besides, you were sixteen- you though everything was funny, this must have been included." She smiled and punched him on the shoulder.

"Must have been nice to be in high school together," Syl said wistfully. Jondy grinned.

"Yeah, a total screw-up on Zack's part." She laughed. "Complete fluke. He didn't realize for weeks that he'd stuck us-"

"In the same city," Zane finished for her. "Jondy was-"

"Supposed to move," she explained for him. "But I didn't, and Zack didn't even know it." She laughed again. "He was really busy that month with some of the others. I think it was..." She trailed off.

"When you were getting married, Tinga," Zane offered. Jondy smiled and nodded her agreement.

"Stop finishing each other's sentences," Syl complained. "You're making me dizzy."

"Zack didn't leave me alone for about six weeks around then," Tinga grumbled, smiling. "He kept trying to talk me out of it. I'm not surprised he made a few mistakes."

"Well," Jondy said. "That just goes to show that he should have minded his own business." They all rolled their eyes at that thought, knowing it would never happen.

"Too bad Brin couldn't come," Tinga said. They all nodded.

"She was pretty tired," Zane explained. "I guess she just didn't feel up to Ben."

"I don't know if I feel up to him," Krit admitted. "After everything he's been doing..." He added quickly, "But I'm glad we're going."

"It makes you think about things you don't want to," Syl agreed.

"What exactly is the plan here, Jondy?" Tinga asked after a short silence.

"Well, we find him and then talk."

"Talk," Syl repeated.

"Yeah." Jondy did not seem to see a problem with this plan. "We talk and tell him to stop killing people. Then all he has to do is listen." Krit groaned and Tinga laughed at him.

"Wow, I guess Zack never thought of that," he said dryly. "I bet he just tried hand signals and never dreamed that words were the answer." Jondy frowned at him.

"I don't appreciate your tone," she said. They all laughed and she pouted, drawing her eyebrows low over her wide blue eyes.

"Can I please switch places with you, Syl?" Zane asked again.

"No!" Syl put her feet up on the dashboard, flaunting her leg room, and her brother frowned and waved a hand at her, sighing and looking out the window. Jondy squirmed beside him and tried to get comfortable.

"Well," Tinga said, always cheerful. "If anything this will be a nice trip, all of us together."

"And we'll get to see Ben," Syl agreed. She glanced at her little sister. "What exactly did you guys do while he was visiting you, anyway?" A small smile crossed Jondy's lips.

"It was great," she said softly. "It was just like it was before. I was afraid, when he showed up, that I would only see a killer." She glanced away. "I haven't forgotten that he's become that, but... when he was with me, he was Ben. My brother, and nothing more. I thought, if we all saw him, maybe he'd go back to the way he was before."

"It's some hope," Syl said. "With even Zack having given up, I was worried there wasn't any."

"Zack." Jondy rolled her eyes. "He has no idea what he's doing when it comes to emotional problems." Syl glanced away, smiled a little at how much her sister didn't understand about Zack. But she said nothing, forever honouring the pact of silence she'd made with him years before.

"He wanted me to help him," Jondy said quietly.

"Help you kill?" Tinga's voice was small. Her sister nodded.

"I didn't understand at first what he was asking, but... he wanted me to help him kill." She was looking at her hands. "He told me about what he was doing. I don't know what he wanted, but he wanted something. He was asking me for something, but I couldn't see what it was." Her voice was far away, her words soft with sadness. "He was Ben, but he was different, too. Something about him scared me." Zane's hand was gentle against her hair.

"You don't have to talk about it," he murmured.

"No, it's okay." She shrugged him off. "I'm fine."

"Hey," he said. "You're one of the only little sisters I have. I'm just trying to protect you." She smiled sideways at him.

"I guess so." She sighed. "Ben was normal when he was with me. Every day we spent together he got better. Eventually he stopped talking about killing altogether, and about the Blue-" She stopped, didn't want to say it.

"The Blue Lady," Tinga finished for her softly in her sweet voice. Syl glanced at her, saw again for a moment the child they'd named for the melodious sound of her laugh, like a chime ringing. She smiled.

"He believes in her," Jondy said shortly, looking out the window. "I don't."

"So why did we grow up?" Zane asked quietly. "And he didn't?" His question hung in the air for several moments.

"It's not even about that," she said finally in a soft voice. "He doesn't feel like he belongs out here. He thinks..." She trailed off but Syl's heart had gone slightly cold; Jondy was going to say, 'He thinks we never should have left.' And she felt the same way Ben did, in a lot of ways. She glanced out the window and stifled a sigh.

"What I want to know," Jondy's voice came, breaking the tense silence. "Is how you two came about." She reached forward and poked Krit and Syl simultaneously. They flushed slightly and glanced at each other. Syl looked in the back; Zane was grinning and Tinga had a small, knowing smile on her face.

"No, I don't think so," she said, flushing a little. "Tell us what's up with Brin instead." Zane frowned, but relented.

"She really is pretty sick. I was going to stay behind with her, but she has that Greg and someone convinced me this was more important."

"It is," Jondy said. "Besides, I wanted to see you. You live like three hours away but you never visit." She rolled her eyes and turned to Tinga. "I thought he might have changed since high school." She sighed dramatically. "But he still has a new woman every month and thinks nothing of settling down." Tinga smiled a small smile at Zane.

"Hey," he protested. "When I find the right girl then I will."

"You don't even stick around long enough to know!"

"You make it sound like I drop them whenever I get bored or something, Jondy." He frowned at her. "For your information, I've never had a bad breakup in my life."

"That's because you're too cute to have anyone stay mad at you," she said. He grinned.

"Thanks." At that, Jondy threw up her hands and gave him a firm poke in the ribs before she crossed her arms over her chest and slumped down in her seat. Zane looked at her for a moment, then shrugged.

"Can I please switch places with you, Syl?" he asked again.

"Come on, Syl," Jondy complained. "If you don't switch then he's going to keep asking every ten seconds. Am I really that horrible to sit by?" Syl looked at her sister, beyond the smile, the teasing tone, to the real uncertainty that she knew was there. Jondy and Syl had never gotten along as well as they did with some of the others, for a lot of reasons, but Syl knew how to read her well.

"Of course not," she said. "Okay, Krit, pull over." He pouted but did as she asked. "It's a long drive to New York," she said when she'd settled into the backseat. "I'll sit with you later." Zane smiled.

"You guys are- and I know Jondy will tease me for using this word... but you're so cute." He cast a glance at Jondy, who said nothing but had a gleam in her eye that Syl knew very well.

"This is a very sexist arrangement," Tinga noticed with a smile when they were underway again. "Us girls in the back and you guys up there?"

"So?" Krit wiggled his eyebrows at her in the rear-view mirror. "What are you going to do about it?" She stuck her tongue out and turned away. Syl felt Jondy settle tentatively against her side a little and glanced at her, feeling a fondness she hadn't in a long time. She touched her sister's dark blonde hair and smiled softly.

"It's good to see you," she said sincerely. Jondy slowly smiled, her blue eyes calming slightly. She closed them, leaned against Syl's shoulder, and then she was asleep. Syl knew she would wake again in minutes, maybe a half hour at the most, because all Jondy ever did was catnap, but she felt her annoyance toward her littlest sister soften when she looked at her sleeping face. Sure, she could be irritating and over-cheerful and too energetic, but she only wanted what they all did, to be loved, to fit into the world. Syl smiled and leaned her head against Jondy's soft hair, and closed her eyes.


Syl jerked awake when the car brakes screeched. Her heightened senses were assaulted by the smell and feeling of four scents of raised adrenaline and her skin was crawling with reflex. She looked outside and saw that they were stopped, so relaxed slightly.

"What's up?" Jondy asked cheerfully after a short silence. Syl felt herself getting annoyed again but shrugged it away. She saw that Zane was driving now; how long had she been asleep?

"Look," he said, staring straight ahead at the road. "I don't know which one of you that is, but you're going to have to get out of the car now." Syl looked at Tinga, who looked as confused as she felt, and then at Jondy, who smiled quizzically at Zane.

"What on Earth are you talking about?" she asked sweetly.

"One of you," Krit said, and now Syl realized that he also wasn't turning around. "Is in heat and we can't tell which one it is."

"There's too many people in this car, all your scents are mixed," Zane agreed. Both their voices sounded strained and tense.

"Well it isn't me, I had mine three weeks ago," Tinga announced.

"It could be me," Jondy said cheerfully. She scooted forward and poked at Zane's arm playfully. "Look at me and then we'll know."

"That's not funny, Jondy," he said tensely. But he looked at her, probably because he couldn't not look at her, and so did Krit. Syl felt irrational anger rise in her and she reached forward and pulled Jondy back hard against the seat. Zane averted his eyes.

"Okay, it's Syl," he said. "That's perfect, I won't have to feel bad about leaving her on the side of the road to some stranger. Krit, get out."

"What about Ben?" Syl asked as Krit slid out of the car, opened her door, and started tugging at her arm.

"Just get out, Syl," Zane growled. He glanced at her and then away. "Sorry."

"There's enough of us to knock some sense into Ben," Tinga said quickly. "Go on, have fun with Krit." She smiled and Syl got out of the car.

"This is ridiculous," she said after Zane tore off. "I don't even feel like I'm in heat. And that was your car." She turned to Krit and saw the look smoldering in his eyes, and blinked. "Oh," she said, flushing a little. "So I am-"

"Shut up, Syl," he whispered as he pulled her close, kissing her deeply and already pulling at her clothes. Someone beeped as they drove by, yelled a catcall out the window, and she remembered where they were.

She deepened the kiss and then pulled away, leaving them both breathless. "Krit, we have to go somewhere," she whispered as he nibbled at her ear. He forced himself away from her but her hands rose unbidden to pull him back in for another kiss. His lips moved to her neck, his hands pulling at her shirt. "Never mind," she whispered. "Let's just stay here."

"I'm going to kill Zane," he said between kisses, his voice low and strained. She laughed softly and his jacket hit the ground. Krit pulled back. "No, you're right, we do have to get out of here." He fended her off with one hand as he looked around for somewhere to go. "Zane could have dropped us off at a damned city," he muttered, scouring the long highway for some sign of civilization. "We're going to have to hitchhike, Syl."

"Are you insane?" she hissed, her mouth falling open as he stuck a thumb out. "I can't get into a car with people!"

"Well we can't stay here!" he exclaimed, dropping his hand. "If we do-" She put a finger to his lips and reached for him. "Syl..." he tried to protest weakly before she pulled him down for a kiss, and then he was pressing her close against him, kissing her passionately back. He nudged her backward and into the trees lining the road, away from the traffic, and kicked at the ground to get rid of twigs and rocks. He looked at her, his sheepishness momentarily showing through his desire. "Sorry," he said.

"Are you kidding?" She reached for him and pulled him down on the ground with her. "I don't care, Krit," she said, kissing him. He rolled her gently onto her back and paused for a moment to smile down at her tenderly, which both frustrated her and made her melt at the warmth in his eyes.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered lovingly.

"So are you," she whispered back, smiling. "Now come here." She reached for him and pulled him down with her and marvelled at how much she loved him.


* * *


Syl yawned and stretched, feeling Krit's warm body next to hers; she opened her eyes and blinked against bright light. Syl froze.

"Whoa," she said in a surprisingly calm voice, flushing and looking around for her clothes so she could cover herself up. The man lowered the flashlight from her eyes and threw her shirt and jeans to her. It was dark outside; how long had they been there? Syl nudged Krit while she quickly donned her shirt and stood up, pulling on her jeans. Krit yawned and then saw the police officer and jumped to his feet, grabbing for his clothes as well, his face red. The officer led them out of the woods.

"ID please," he said. Syl groaned.

"I don't have any, mine's in the car," she hissed at Krit.

"What car?" the man asked. She smiled at him.

"We were going on a road trip with our-" she caught herself at 'brother.' "Friend. He let us off here and I must have left my wallet in his car."

"He just let you off in the middle of nowhere?" the man asked. Syl nodded.

"Pretty much, officer."

"Why?" At this, both Krit and Syl flushed and glanced away from him, at each other, at the floor.

"Um..." Krit said. The officer did not look amused.

"You're saying your friend dropped you off on the side of the road so you could go for a quickie in the woods?" he asked, his eyes sliding to Syl. "Not that I blame you." Krit frowned and the officer wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Hey," Krit said, annoyed, drawing the man's attention back. "Can we go?"

"No," he said, his smile dropping. "I have to write you a ticket for indecent exposure and about ten other things. Stay there." He went to rummage in his car and Syl glanced at Krit.

"Let's just go."

"Where? We're nowhere near anything thanks to our idiot brother who you have to remind me to murder. This guy is probably our only ride out of here."

"That was pretty funny though, you have to admit."

"Yeah, it was just hilarious when he was ogling you," Krit said dryly. Syl laughed.

"Come on, Krit," she said. "If it was a female officer she'd be doing the same to you." He grunted something but the cop returned before he could elaborate.

"I'm going to need to search you," he said.

"What?" Krit asked, annoyed. "Come on, that's-"

"Not you," the officer said. He took Syl's shoulder and hauled her over to his car. She tensed but put her hands on the window, let him search her.

"Hey!" she snapped when his hands lingered too long against her backside. She jerked away but his arm shoved her back against the car. Syl hated post-Pulse America, couldn't believe the few older people she'd met who talked about a past government that was mostly fair and law enforcement officers who were actually interested in enforcing the law. Behind her she could hear Krit fuming but she didn't want to get into a fight right now and she could handle this guy for a few more minutes. Then his hands crept around her front and started nudging under her shirt. She whirled around and elbowed him in the face in one fluid motion, and Krit had blurred to take his gun before he even knew it was gone. He gaped at them.

"What- how-" he sputtered. Syl joined Krit and glared that the man.

"Get lost," she ordered. He stood up and started for his car. "No, no, we need that," she said.

"We can't steal a police car, that's a bit obvious," Krit said, softly so only she could hear.

"We'll ditch it when we hit a town and get a nice truck, okay?" she answered, equally low. "You've always wanted a truck." She wiggled her eyebrows at him playfully and he laughed.

"Okay," he said, and waved the gun lazily at the man. "Go on, get out of here." The officer glared, but turned and started walking away. Krit got into the car and Syl slid in beside him.

"Can I turn the siren on?" she asked when he started the engine. They both waved at the cop as they passed him.

"No," Krit said, already intercepting her hand as it reached for the button. She sighed.

"Fine, fine," she said, blowing at her hair to illustrate her annoyance. Krit grinned at her.

"That was pretty funny," he finally admitted.

"Ha!" she said. "I knew you thought so too!"

"But that guy was a creep," he added.

"Yeah, well, most guys are." She yawned and smiled at him. "You, of course, being the very huge exception of my life." He smiled at her and reached for her hand, kissed it. She watched him drive for several moments and then froze as a thought hit her. Krit sensed her change in mood.

"What?" he asked, but she hesitated before speaking.

"We didn't... use anything." She leaned back against the seat slowly and swallowed hard. Krit slowed the car and pulled it onto the side of the road. He cut the engine and turned to her, reached awkwardly over to slip an arm around her back.

"Syl, I'm sorry," he murmured. She looked at him tentatively, and was surprised to find that she didn't want to cry. She smiled at him.

"Maybe it's okay," she said softly. He didn't answer, his dark eyes watching her. "Maybe..." She swallowed again. "It'll be okay."

"Syl," he said gently. "You know you've got a good chance of getting pregnant when you're in heat. I think we have to accept that and-"

"No." She smiled and raised a hand to touch his cheek. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean, maybe it'll be okay... if I do get pregnant." Krit looked surprised. He frowned.

"Are you sure?" he asked. She smiled and reached for him and kissed him, long and deep. When she pulled back he had a very serious expression on his face. "It's not about that, Syl," he said. "I know you love me. But you said not too long ago that you weren't ready for this." She didn't say anything for a long time, because everything she wanted to say, things like 'I'm ready for anything with you,' sounded cliched even though she sincerely felt that way. She smiled at him.

"I do love you, Krit," she said finally. "And nothing we make could be bad." Slowly he smiled back at her, kissed her. When he'd released her she almost felt like laughing with excitement, but she forced herself to calm down. "Krit," she said. "We'd better keep driving. This is a stolen car don't forget."

"Right." He was grinning. He pulled the car back onto the road and resumed driving back to Colorado. They'd driven for four hours before being dumped on the side of the road, so Syl figured it would be the same back, maybe a bit more since traffic was heavier now. They'd have to ditch the car at the first city they reached, and she'd promised Krit a truck, so that would lengthen it to at least five hours. She sighed and turned on the police radio to see if anything interesting was happening, but all that was on were alerts about them and that was pretty boring for her. She turned it off and drummed her fingers against the window.

"Go to sleep," Krit said. "You only got a couple of hours last night and if you're anything like me that forest floor just didn't cut it."

"Yeah, thanks to Jondy and her damned messed-up DNA," she grumbled. "What about you, you didn't get much more. You sure you're okay to drive?"

"Do we have a choice?" he asked as she settled back against her seat. The wire separating the front from the back dug into her hair. Krit shrugged out of his jacket and slipped it under her head. She yawned.

"Krit, you're too good for me," she said sleepily. He laughed softly.

"I doubt anyone is," he whispered, and she made a face.

"You're so mushy." She yawned again and closed her eyes. "Wake me if the police come."

"We are the police," he said lightly. She opened her eyes momentarily to glare at him and then closed them again. "Don't worry," he said tenderly as she drifted off. "I will."


* * *


Syl was in a truck when she awoke again, and marvelled at Krit's ability to move her without waking her up. Either that or her ability to be dead to the world. Soft light flooded through the window but she couldn't tell if it was dusk or dawn. She looked around for what had woken her and realized that the truck was stopped. In fact, it was stopped in front of her apartment. Then her door opened, and she looked at Krit; he smiled at her.

"Good sleep?" he asked.

"Yeah. How-"

"Oh, I have many talents." He winked at her and she got out of the truck.

"I could have driven part way," she grumbled at him, yawning and following him up to their building. He smiled, unlocked the door, and they went upstairs. Syl flopped onto their sofa.

"So are you going to go to bed?" she asked.

"Why?" he answered, sitting next to her and smiling. "Have you got something more interesting in mind?"

"Kriiiit!" she whined. "We did that all day yesterday." She frowned. "Or today. How long were we out there, anyway?" He had the decency to blush.

"Um, I have no idea," he said, and looked around for a clock. "Oh, it's 6:30. At night."

"On the same day we left, right?"

"I think so..." He smiled. "Who cares?"

"Yeah," she agreed.

"Hey," he said. "We have a message."

"Yeah?"

"Two, actually."

"Wow, that's different. Hope it's not Zack looking for everyone."

"Doubt it. He said not to call him while he was in Seattle so he's probably really busy."

"Yeah," Syl said dryly. "Busy making sure Max doesn't find any of us." Krit looked over at her curiously.

"Is that what he's doing?" he asked. She shrugged.

"I don't know, we haven't talked as much lately. Play the messages."

"Okay." He touched the button to rewind the tape and then sat next to her on the sofa. She smiled and kissed him softly, imagining the baby that might already be growing inside.

"We'll have to get a pregnancy test in a few days," she said. Krit's eyes lit up like a child and he grinned, kissed her again.

"Hey, guys," Zane's voice came. Syl felt Krit jump and laughed at him, pointing at the machine. "I guess you're still driving home, or..." She could almost hear the blush in his voice. "Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry and could you call Brin, because I tried but I couldn't get through. It's probably my cell, I'm getting pretty far away now. Just call and make sure she's feeling alright." His voice softened. "I know she has that Greg guy but... just check on her, okay? Bye." There was a click and Syl stood up, heading for the phone. She started to dial Brin's number.

"Krit, Syl, are you there!" Zane's voice came over the machine again, panicked and strained. Syl hung up the phone and Krit slowly stood up. "Okay, I guess you're not. I hope you get this soon. Something really weird is going on. Brin-" He took a breath. "I called Brin again and I still couldn't get through, but it wasn't my cell. Someone cut her phone line, because I called home and I got through. I called that Greg- I've never talked to him but I called Brin there once. The guy was freaked." There was a pause. "Shh, Jondy, I'm hurrying. Look, he didn't even want to talk to me, he thought I was- well, he didn't say who he thought I was but he kept babbling about her apartment being wrecked, and that he couldn't find her anywhere, and he thought I was someone who'd done it." Syl swallowed hard and her eyes flew to Krit's. Zane continued, "I can't be back anytime soon, but you have to find out where Brin is. Call Zack, I don't care about his damn rules, just call him. Go to California if you have to. Look, your machine's going to cut me off, but get on this right now, okay? I didn't get out of the guy how long she's been missing but with how she's been feeling lately I'm scared that-" There was a click as he exceeded the time allotted for messages and Syl finally allowed herself to breathe. She grabbed the phone up again and dialled.

"Who are you calling?" Krit asked.

"Zack." She put the phone to her ear and waited. The emergency line, a line that never rang more than twice, rang twenty-six times before she let Krit hang up the phone.

"Call the other one," he said.

"What if Manticore-" She couldn't finish the sentence, couldn't say what they both knew, that Brin was in no condition to fight if Lydecker had managed to track her down. She picked up the phone again shakily and dialled the contact number.

"Zack," his answering machine came on after two rings. "This better be an emergency." It beeped and Syl took a deep, steadying breath.

"Zack," she said. "Brin is missing. Zane called her and her fiancé says that her house has been searched and that she's gone. I need you to call me right away. Don't bother with Zane or Jondy, they're not home, but we're here and if you know where Brin is please phone. We'll stay here and wait for your call. Please hurry." She hung up the phone and looked at him, saw the fear in his eyes, the vulnerability, knew his thoughts were mirroring hers. We've been out for ten years, and no one's ever been taken. She swallowed hard and walked over to him, reaching out her arms to fold him into an embrace. She murmured soft words to him as she had so many times when they had been children and afraid, comforting him as she had when he'd fallen, when he'd been shot, when he'd been punished or afraid or lost. They held onto each other in the living room of their apartment and cried for the sister they both somehow knew was gone.