Zane pulled back after a few moments, wide-eyed. She waited patiently for him to get over his shock and gather his thoughts.

"Syl," he finally managed, his voice soft. "What are you doing?" She reached out and traced the line of his jaw, felt him shiver.

"You're the one with a new girlfriend every week," she said, almost growled. "Figure it out." Zane opened his mouth, closed it. He swallowed and reached up for her hand, removed it from his face.

"I don't smell anything on you, Syl," he said, confusion edging in his voice. "Why-"

"I'm not in heat, Zane," she interrupted, low. "I just like you." Belatedly he stood up and backed away, but she just got to her own feet and followed him.

"Syl," he said, sounding hurt, almost afraid. She stopped walking and softened. She reached for his hand, squeezed.

"Please," she said softly. His eyes raised hesitantly to hers. She tipped her face up, kissed him again gently, running a hand through his hair. When he didn't resist too strongly she deepened the kiss, opening her mouth to him. Zane's hands slowly found her hips, rested there, as his tongue gently tangled with hers. She laid a palm over his barcode and felt him shiver. His hands trailed up her sides and around her back, pulled her closer; she sighed contentment into his mouth, long and low. Abruptly he was gripping her shoulders, and he pushed her away just enough to separate their lips. They were both breathing hard and his eyes were darker than usual, his expression a mixture of anger, shock, love, pain, desire, confusion, and sympathy.

"Syl," he said softly. She waited but he said nothing more, so she reached for him again. He backed away from her slightly. "Don't." It would have almost been humorous if it hadn't been so hurtful. "Syl," he said, trying to snap her back to reality. "You're my sister." Her hand twitched and she crossed her arms over her chest.

"That's all you have to say to me?"

"No," he said softly. After a long moment he spoke again, and his voice was almost cold. "I'd also like you to leave."

"Zane-"

"Seriously," he said. "Get out of here. You're messed up, Syl and-" He stopped, took a breath, calmed himself down. His voice came back, soft. "Just go." Syl's fists clenched as he turned and walked away. She stalked after him and when they reached the front door he shoved her shoes into her hands and opened it. "Go," he said again.

"Zane." She gazed at him sadly. "I'm sorry."

"I know," he said. "Don't cry. Just go." He opened the door a little wider and she looked between it and him for a moment. Then she started crying. Zane closed the door. "Syl," he said.

"I'm sorry," she repeated in a whisper. He lifted a hand, hesitated, lifted it again. His fingers brushed her cheek tentatively and she shivered. He dropped his hand.

"Go on, Syl," he said. She turned and hugged him and he started to push her away, but finally sighed a little and reached his arms up to encircle her back. His whole body was tense but he couldn't not hug her because it made him distressed that she was distressed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she whispered, clutching at him.

"Shshsh," he soothed gently. "It's okay."

"Please let me stay here," she said quietly. He raised his hands to her shoulders and pushed her firmly away, shook his head. Syl reached for him and kissed him again, was surprised when he let her. He closed his eyes, reached a hand up to stroke her cheek for a moment, then gently ended the kiss and pulled back to look at her. There was a long silence.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said finally in a slightly pained voice. Syl kissed him again, light and soft, before pulling back and looking at him.

"Then don't," she whispered. "This is what I want." Confusion passed through his eyes and she smiled gently at him. "Please, Zane. This will make me feel better." He didn't step back from her, but pulled her close to him, stroked a hand through her hair. She rested her head against his shoulder and threaded her arms around his waist.

"Syl," his voice came quietly. "I know you're upset, but I'm not going to let you wreck what you have with Krit." Tears misted in her eyes but she forced them back. "Especially not with me," he added. She pulled away from him a little and trailed a finger up one of his arms, felt him shiver again, felt the muscles ripple under his skin.

"What if I want to wreck it?" she asked softly, raising her eyes to look at him. He let his breath out, long and slow.

"I love Krit," he said.

"You love me too," she countered. He nodded slowly.

"Yeah."

"And this is about me. Not him. I need you to do this for me because-" She broke off, swallowed. "Because..." Her voice lowered. "I need someone to hold me who I know I don't have a future with." There was a long, long silence. Finally he sighed and swept the hair off her face; his smile was gentle, understanding, and sad all at once.

"Syl," he said softly. "I can hold you." She kissed him.

"I want more," she whispered when she pulled back. Zane gazed at her; he looked so upset, and she knew that she was taking advantage of his goodness, but nothing she'd said had been a lie.

"I hope you don't think sleeping with me will make your problems any less real," he said in a very quiet voice. "Because it won't, Syl."

"Let me worry about that," she whispered. She kissed him again, soft and tender, and after a long time she felt him returning the kiss, softly. She pulled back, gazed at him for a long time. "Okay?" His nod was so brief that she barely saw it. Syl kissed him again, reached for the hem of his shirt. Zane's hands grabbed her wrists and she raised her dark eyes to his hesitant ones.

"Wait," he said. "Wait, wait." She reached up and kissed him again.

"It's okay," she murmured against his lips. "Don't worry, Zane." She raised a hand and touched her fingers to his cheek, smiled softly. "It's okay," she whispered once more, one of her hands pulling at his shirt again. He fought with his conscience for a long time, tense in her arms. She kissed him again once, softly. "Please," she whispered. "Please, Zane." His eyes fluttered closed, an expression of sadness passing briefly over his features. He stroked her cheek.

"I'm worried about you, Syl," he said, his voice so gentle that it tore at her heart.

"Don't be," she said softly back, her breath tickling his face. "Just kiss me." He protested only momentarily before letting her pull his shirt over his head, and she ran her hands gently over his bare chest before resting a hand on the base of his neck, over his barcode like she had before. Again, he shivered.

"Syl," he whispered once, and this time he initiated the kiss. She returned it warmly, felt him press her gently back against the wall. His lips trailed down her throat, touched against the tender spot behind her ear. She sighed and felt his arms slip under her, pulling her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he smiled, kissing her tenderly again and carrying her to his bedroom. He laid her gently on the bed and she gazed up at him. He was so romantic; no wonder he had so many devout admirers. She felt her heart quicken as he laid down next to her, watched him gaze at her for a long time. Finally she smiled a bit self-consciously.

"What? Don't like what you see?" She poked at him and he smiled.

"You know you're beautiful," he said softly. She shrugged a little.

"So what then?"

"Nothing," he said. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"You." He smiled and she almost melted. She reached for him, kissed him again. His hands trailed shivers down her sides and slipped under her shirt, pushing it up to caress her stomach. She sat up and let him pull the shirt over her head, watched as he trailed a hand up one of her arms, the light touch giving her chills. He followed the course of his fingers with his lips, stopping at her collar bones and neck, bathing her soft skin in gentle kisses as his hands reached behind her and unhooked her bra. He tossed it onto the chair next to his bed where her shirt was and looked down at her with an expression that made her heart flutter.

"Yes," he said. "Beautiful."


At one point he bit her shoulder and then jumped backward, his eyes flying open. "I've never done that before," he said quickly. "I'm sorry, I don't know what-"

"It's because I'm X5," she interrupted. "You..." She swallowed hard, calmed her breathing, struggling for words through her haze of passion. "It's like a... claim. An animal thing, but we do it too."

"Oh." He looked confused, then hesitant. "So I just..." He trailed off and waited.

"It's like... I'm yours."

"Mine." It was almost a growl but she knew he didn't intend that; it excited her just the same.

"Yeah," she forced out.

"I'm sorry, Syl."

"It's okay. I just-" She hesitated, bit her lip. "I was trying not to do that. I thought you knew."

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"It's alright, you had no idea," she said gently. There was a long silence while he considered her words, then finally she pulled him down for another kiss and it was quickly forgotten.


Afterward, Syl felt tears prickling her eyes as she held him close.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you, Zane." He kissed her temple, the soft spot behind her ear, smiled at her as his fingers slipped through her hair. Her tears spilled over as she whispered again, "Thank you." He hugged her close, kissed the top of her head.

"I love you, Syl," he said. She pulled back slightly, looked up at him warily. He smiled. "Nothing inappropriate," he said, then laughed softly. "Whatever that is at this point." He shrugged. "I just love you." Syl smiled.

"I love you too," she said. "And really... thank you." Zane smiled tenderly.

"There's no need for that," he told her softly, then flushed slightly. "Besides, it's not as if I didn't enjoy it." Syl flushed as well and sighed, leaning into him contentedly.

"You want to sleep now?" she asked.

"Sure," he said, his voice soft and gentle. "If you want to."

"What time is it?"

"About one," he answered. "Maybe two. I don't have to be at work for a while."

"Let's sleep," she said, and felt his smile.

"Sounds good." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, reached down for his blanket and pulled it around them, closed his eyes. She smiled, brushed a hand over his face, and settled into his arms.


* * *


Syl was woken by the phone ringing and yawned, stretched. Zane's hands and legs were tangled up with her own and he was still sleeping, oblivious to the world. She smiled and reached for the telephone, then froze suddenly as she realized it could be Krit. It rang again and she stared at it. Finally she forced herself to shake off the feeling and picked it up, bringing it hesitantly to her ear.

"Hello?" She was amazed at the calmness in her voice.

"Syl," came the gruff response. Tears filled her eyes and slipped down her cheeks and she collapsed backward into the bed, elbowing Zane in the same motion.

"Zack," she breathed, almost laughing, almost crying. Zane bolted upright at the mention of that name and he looked at her, wide-eyed.

"It's all gone to hell, Syl," Zack said softly. Her heart froze but she tried to keep the shake out of her voice, for him, for herself, for Zane.

"What?" she managed.

"Syl," he said. "I don't have much time. I have to go back."

"Back?"

"Back," he repeated; his voice was so soft, gentle, giving no indication of the harsh words that would follow. "To Manticore."

"Wait, what are you talking- back to Manticore?" Syl asked, dumbfounded. Zane shot her a panicked, questioning look.

"How many men?" he asked immediately. "Where is he?" Syl tried to understand what Zack was saying, but her heart was pounding so loud that all she could hear was 'Max,' 'have to,' 'no other choice' and 'I was the one who did it.'

"If he's in trouble tell him we can be there in-" Zane started, but she put her hand on his chest to quiet him.

"Zack, slow down, what's going on?" she asked.

"I don't have much time, Syl," Zack said again. "I have to go back. I killed a man and now Max is being framed for it by Lydecker. I got her out of the city but she went back. There's no other choice."

"Max?" Syl breathed, horrified. "No." She shook her head to emphasize her point even though he couldn't see it. "No. Why would she- why would she go back?" There was a short silence and when Zack spoke again he sounded very angry.

"It doesn't matter," he said. Then he started talking about whether they should assign a new CO and discussing other regulations for them to follow after he was gone. She heard almost none of it, but then he added that they were all under strict orders not to launch any rescue attempts.

"Zack-"

"We agreed on that years ago, Syl," he said firmly. "If I ever got captured... You all agreed."

"We never thought it would happen," she said softly. There was a short pause.

"Why are you at Zane's?" he asked next. Before she could answer he said, "Never mind." His voice softened. "Listen to me, Syl. Do what makes you happy. That's all I ever wanted for you." Tears stung her eyes. "Look, I don't have much time."

"You keep saying that. What-"

"It wasn't Lydecker," he said. "It wasn't Lydecker who took Brin."

"She's back at Manticore, isn't she?" Syl whispered, and pain flashed across Zane's face.

"Yeah." Zack said it softly, gently, but it still stung. She nodded, tried not to cry.

"We can come," she told him. "We can come and help you if you're in trouble."

"I'm not in trouble," he said gently. "I'm going because I have to, or Max will get taken just like Brin. I'm not going to let that happen again." Syl closed her eyes briefly at the guilt and anguish in his voice.

"I'm sure you did everything you could," she whispered, wishing that he was in the room, that she could see him, take his hand, hug him.

"I have to go now, Syl," he said softly. "I have to turn myself in."

"No." Syl tried not to cry and clutched the phone tightly. "No."

"I'm not going to say anything to compromise any of you."

"God, Zack, that's not what I'm worried about," she snapped. Her voice softened with tears. "I don't want to lose you. There must be another way."

"There's no other way. If there was-"

"Zack, you can't do this to me. Please don't do this."

"Syl," he said gently. "You're going to be fine."

"I need you, we all do. Please, I need you Zack," she whispered. Zane's arms were soft around her waist, comforting, but she couldn't be comforted.

"I have to go, Syl," Zack said softly. "You're going to be fine."

"No, Zack, wait!" He obeyed and she took a huge breath, gathered herself. "Just.... don't forget who you are." Syl couldn't stop a sob from escaping her lips. "Please, just don't forget who you are." There was a long silence; for once she wished that he would lie to her, but he didn't. Instead he said nothing in response, which was as close as he could ever come to a lie. And what had she expected him to say? The only way he wouldn't talk, wouldn't compromise them all, would be to forget everything, and she knew that.

"It's okay, Syl," he said finally, his voice so gentle that it broke her heart.

"Zack, I love you, okay?" she forced out. There was a short silence.

"I love you too, Syl," he said gently. "All of you." He added in a soft voice, "Bye," and then, too quickly, not slow and dragged out and dramatic like in stories or on television, there was a click. And he was gone.

"Zack?" she whispered. "Zack." She swallowed, let her voice out in a shuddering sob, clutched the receiver to her ear with both hands. Desperation was a terrible feeling, choking her. "Zack, answer me, please... Zack!" Zane's hands were gentle against her shoulders as the phone clattered to the floor but she shrugged away from him, climbing out of the bed shakily, sobbing. Zane followed her into the living room and she collapsed onto her knees so suddenly that he didn't even have time to catch her. "No," she kept whispering. "No no no no no. I can't do this, I can't, I can't." She pounded the floor with each word until the hardwood was shattered and broken, but it barely helped. Zane sat down next to her and she collapsed into his arms, low hiccuping sobs escaping her lips. She tried to tell him what was going on and he got the gist of it, pulled her close to his chest. "Not both of them, Zane, please not both of them."

"Shshsh," he soothed, holding her tightly, unable to do anything more than whisper soft lies that everything was going to be okay. She clutched him tightly and sobbed as she felt his tears slipping hot and wet into her hair. It took a long, long time for her to pull back. She suddenly felt very calm, and her tears stopped.

"Call a meeting," she said. He nodded slowly and they both stood up, realized neither of them was wearing anything, didn't care.

"Syl," he said. "I can't get in touch with everyone." He swallowed hard but his voice was still choked with tears when he spoke. "I can get Jondy and Tinga, but you know Ben is cut off, and only Brin knew where the others were." His lip trembled and she reached for him, pulled him tightly into her arms, her calmness gone again, her tears slipping hot down her cheeks.

"Zane, I can't," she whispered. "I can't, I can't do this."

"I'll make the calls," he said softly after a long time. "But you first." She pulled back for a moment, gazed at him. "You phone Krit," he said.

"I can't."

"Syl, you have to," he said gently. "This was his brother too. This was Zack." Syl wrenched away from him, twisting.

"This is Zack!" she yelled. "He's not dead! He's coming back!"

"Okay," he whispered, reaching for her again. She slapped his hands away, sobbing, and retreated back into his bedroom to find her clothes. The phone was making the sound that meant it was off the hook, and slowly she walked across the room and hung it up. She gazed at it for a long time, picked it up again, started to dial. She slammed it down, picked up Zane's lamp and shattered it against the wall, finished dressing. She sat on the bed and stared at the phone. Slowly her hand reached out, cradled the receiver, pressed the right combination of buttons. Krit answered on the first ring.

"It's me," she said. There was a long silence.

"How are you?"

"Not too good."

"Where are you?"

"At Zane's." She took a deep breath, swallowed. "Krit..." She bit her lip, forced herself to speak. "Something's happened," she whispered. "It's Zack." She heard his soft exhale of breath.

"He called?"

"Yeah." She failed at keeping the tears out of her voice. "We've lost him, Krit. We've lost him, he's gone back and I couldn't stop it." She was speaking quickly, her throat choked with tears. "Please," she whispered, begging him, someone, to make this right. "Oh God, please."

"I'm coming," Krit said. She held the phone tightly with both hands, nodded shakily.

"Hurry," she whispered. "God, Krit, please hurry. Please, please hurry."

"Shshsh," he soothed. "I'm leaving right now." There was a short pause as he allowed her to gather herself. "I love you, Syl," he said softly. Tears blurred her vision again and she closed her eyes briefly, nodded even though he couldn't see her.

"I love you," she whispered back. "I love you so much."

"I have to go now, Syl," he told her. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Hurry," she forced out. "Just hurry."

"I will," he promised. She hung up the phone, called shakily for Zane. He walked in and she blinked at his nude state, having forgotten everything for a moment. He glanced at the shattered pieces of the lamp, reached out and touched her hair gently. She managed a tiny smile and left the room to let him dress, heard him on the phone with first Jondy, then Tinga. When everyone had been notified the two of them curled up on the sofa together, staring vacantly at nothing. Syl tried to imagine what she was going to tell Krit about Zane, but her mind was like soup. Everything before the moment of Zack's call seemed like a dream now, unimportant, trivial.

After what must have been several hours she turned her head to look at him. Tear tracks had dried on his face and she reached up a hand, stroked it through his hair. He started and blinked several times, as though his mind had been somewhere else.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" she asked softly; his eyes were hollow when they met hers.

"I'll tell them I was sick," he said. She was amazed by the calmness in both their voices.

"I think we're in shock," she told him. After a moment he nodded.

"Probably," he agreed. She reached for his hand, squeezed it tightly.

"I love you, baby brother," she whispered, stressing the last two words slightly, turning to look at him as she did. He nodded in understanding.

"I love you too," he said, pulling her close. It was the hug of a brother, and she was comforted by it. She raised a hand to rub her throbbing temples and it brushed against her shoulder on the way down to her lap. She winced in sudden delicious pain and remembered Zane's bite, bringing everything back. Syl stifled a sigh and leaned back into his arms, waiting for Jondy to arrive.