Syl rested her eyes just above the words in the book she was reading, watching a girl of about six years old play on the swings. She was off to the side from the other kids on the playground, keeping to herself, watching the others with both caution and at the same time disinterest. Like she didn't really want to play with them, but if she was invited she might say yes just to see what would happen. Syl smiled. She liked watching kids play, finding it fascinating in a way she couldn't quite explain or understand.

"Try flipping the pages, it makes reading go a lot faster," a voice came from behind Syl. She jumped, her book falling to the ground as she slid off the bench and turned to face the speaker in one fluid motion, startled that she hadn't heard anyone approach. A latino woman a year or so older than Syl was leaning against a nearby tree, her arms crossed over her chest, one leg propped against the trunk. Dark glasses were lowered just enough on her nose so that Syl could barely make eye contact, and there was a wide smirk on her lips.


Memories formed like thought-images at this age, feelings and emotions captured moment by moment. Syl felt the cool cement with her bare toes and it formed her steps to the crayon box, a rainbow of greens and browns and blues. A hand reached for the forest green just as hers did. She needed it to colour in the woods around the target area drawn out on her paper. Her fingers closed around the crayon and she pulled, letting out a squeal of indignation. Eva pulled back, laying her hand flat against Syl's cheek and pushing her head back, sliding a foot around behind Syl's ankle to drop her to the ground. The jolt to her body let Syl know that she had fallen, and triumphant, crayon in hand, Eva walked back over to her paper. Humiliated, the anger filling her little body until her hands shook, Syl's lip trembled and then she was crying, slamming her fists into the floor.

After a few moments, a firm hand stilled her tantrum. Rich brown skin, delicate but strong, the fingers closed around Syl's shoulder and pulled her gently up to a sitting position. Van held out her own forest green crayon, closing it into Syl's palm and melting away her anger with her calm brown eyes, so dark they were almost black. She picked up Syl's paper and, taking Syl by the hand, walked back over to her own paper. She sat Syl down next to her and kept her close, sharing her own box of crayons. Lab techs made notes; Syl copied Van's picture and grinned.


Syl reached down and picked up her book, sliding it into her pocket as she relaxed. "It's not the book I'm interested in, Van," she said with a shrug, letting a smile slide over her lips as she closed the distance between them. She reached out and put her arms around her sister, giving her a warm hug.

Van turned her head and scanned her eyes over the children, then looked back to Syl. "You planning to kidnap one, or can we get out of here?"

Syl rolled her eyes but kept the smile. "I walked."

"I drove," Van answered. "This way." She turned and headed back toward the street, leading Syl to a silver import sedan, pre-Pulse but in great condition.

"I'm glad I walked," Syl said, raising an eyebrow in appreciation. "This is so much better than my car."

"I know," Van answered, unlocking the doors. They both slid in and shut their doors. "I swung by your place and followed you here. Your car's a piece of shit."

"How long have you been watching me?"

Van shrugged and started the car, pulling out into the street. She starting heading toward Syl's apartment, pulling a mix CD from her visor, mostly pre-Pulse rap and heavy rock, some metal. Syl smiled at her sister as they drove, and it wasn't long before Van slid her eyes sideways. "What?"

"Nothing," Syl answered, her smile widening a little as she turned her eyes back out the window. A long silence passed between them, not uncomfortable. After five minutes or so, Syl looked back to Van. "It's been a while."

"Yup."

"Why now?"

"Why do you think?"

"Zack?"

Van nodded. "I would have been here sooner but I couldn't find you. I have to say I'm impressed at you, crossing the Canadian border. But you could have called."

"I didn't really have anything on me, it was kind of an impulsive decision." Syl's eyes followed the yellow line on the road in front of them, counting cat's eyes.

Van's hand found Syl's hair and threaded through it affectionately. "I know."

Syl turned to her sister and asked quietly, "Do you know where he is?"

"At Manticore."

"Is he okay?"

There was a long silence. "Define okay." Syl closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath. "He's alive," Van reassured her. "Manticore's started up a new department. Experimenting with cybornetic implants and biosynthetic organs."

Syl's eyes went wide and then her mouth twisted into an expression of disgust. "You're saying they turned him into some kind of machine?"

"To some extent. The bullet fucked up the memory centres of his brain, so they put in an implant to let him make new memories. They reconstructed that side of his face with metal plates and an ocular implant." As Van spoke, her expression and voice got increasingly darker. "He had some nerve damage in his right arm, so they fitted it with an exoskeleton."

"God," Syl whispered. She swallowed hard. "Did you see him?"

Van shook her head as she pulled the car into the visitor parking of Syl's building. "Being at Manticore was dangerous enough before you went on that mission with Deck. I cleared out of there when Zack called me to let me know what you were planning to do. So officially, Manticore's videographer has defected or just disappeared, but they've got a lot more important things to worry about right now thanks to you." She smiled a half-smile, then it faded and she scowled. "Never thought Zack would get caught though- I considered it as a worst-case scenario of course, I had to, but I never seriously thought it would happen." They got out of the car and headed inside as Syl nodded. "Me neither."

After they were seated on Syl's couch, she gathered her thoughts and asked a question she didn't want to. "So… does that mean he's… turned?" The word was difficult to get out at all, especially in reference to Zack. She blinked back tears and added in a whisper, "Or is there even enough left of him now to turn?"

"He's not turned," Van answered. "He doesn't know who he is."

"Will he remember?"

"I think so," she answered, and there was another silence.

"You came here to tell me this?" Syl asked. At Van's nod, she said softly, "Thanks. I wouldn't have wanted to hear this on the phone."

"I also came to check up on you," Van said, after giving a little nod of agreement. "He told me if shit went down with that mission, I was to take over his duties." She caught Syl's expression and continued firmly, "Temporarily."

Syl relaxed a little while her mind predicted what Van was probably going to do in this situation. "You're going to move everybody? Change the phone numbers?"

"Just in case," Van agreed. She fixed Syl with a searching look. "I also have an assignment for you. Actually, two."

Syl raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Okay…"

"One we'll hold off on for now," Van said. "But when we find Zack again, I'm going to need you to work on rebuilding his memory. You know him the best out of all of us as a person and not a soldier, so I'm going to put you in charge of that."

Syl nodded seriously. "Of course."

"The other request is something I'm going to need from you until Zack is back, if he's able to resume his duties at that time," Van said. She cleared her throat. "I want you to be my 2IC."

Syl stared at her in shock. Finally she managed to get out one word, "Me?"

"Why not?" Van countered with a shrug. "You've seen everyone since the escape and you lived with Zack for a few years, so you know better than anyone else what our rules are and how this family works." Syl couldn't argue with Van's logic, but the request made her feel anxious. What if she couldn't do it? "You don't have to decide now," Van went on. "I'm heading to Jon's in about an hour to sort her out. I'm going to need a decision by the time I get back. And then either I'll find you a new place, or I'll get you set up with what you need to help me look after everyone. Sound good?"

"Yeah… great…" Syl was still a little shocked.

Van reached out and clapped her hand on Syl's shoulder. "We need to get some food so I can fuel up before I move out."

"I'll order Chinese." Syl stood up and headed to the phone.

"Hey," Van called her back. She paused from flipping through the phone book and looked over at her sister. "This is your call, got it? I'm not going to be upset or angry or any shit like that if you say no."

Syl smiled. "Okay Vannie."

Van leaned her head back in Syl's sofa and threaded her hands behind it, propping her feet up on Syl's coffee table. "And none of that chow mein bullshit. You know what that means? 'Leftover food.' No thanks, mamasita." Syl chuckled as she dialled the number. She placed an order for sweet and sour chicken, teriyaki beef, egg rolls and two cups of won ton soup, then returned to the sofa to sit next to Van. They ate mostly in silence, but with Van Syl never found silences particularly uncomfortable.

"Are you sure you won't stay for the night before heading down to Jondy's?"

"Yup," Van answered as she cleared away the paper boxes and chopsticks, tossing them into the garbage can. "I have to leave now if want to be over the border and back by tomorrow." She glanced at her watch. "Just after noon. That should be enough time to move Jondy and be here before too late," she said, heading to Syl's door. "You have a cell phone?" she asked. Syl nodded and Van rattled off a number. "That's my direct line. You need to get ahold of me, call that one, don't bother with the contact number."

"Thanks, Vannie." Syl gave her sister a small hug, which Van tolerated. "See you tonight."

"Yup," Van said.

"I love you."

"You too, little sister," she answered, and then closed the door behind her, leaving Syl alone in her apartment, trying to sort out her thoughts.


It was night when Syl heard a knock on her door. She pulled it open to reveal Van standing on the doorstep, Jondy coming down the hall behind her. Syl smiled and reached past Van to hug her little sister. "Hey Jondy," she said warmly. "It's been a while." "Yeah, I sorta lost track of everybody for a while after the broadcast," Jondy said, stepping into Syl's apartment with Van. She collapsed onto Syl's couch and Van pulled over a dining room chair, pulling off her sunglasses before Syl could start pestering her about them.

"I'm moving Jondy to Nevada," Van told her. "Just until things settle down with the Zack situation. Then we can see about getting everyone closer together again. I've already set Zane up in Idaho, and I've let Tosh and Grix stay put for now. Krit's in Montana."

Syl acknowledged the information with a nod. "How long are you two staying?"

"Till tomorrow," Van said. "There's a place in Arizona waiting for you if you want it."

Slowly Syl shook her head. "I want to go with you," she said.

Van nodded. "Good." She stood up. "We should get some sleep."

"There's the couch or the bed," Syl told her.

"I'll take the bed," Van said, "since Jondy's probably going to be noisy as hell all night out here."

Jondy rolled her eyes as Van left. "Is it my fault I don't sleep?" she asked Syl, then surveyed the small apartment. "So what is there to do around here?"

Syl smiled at her. "Not much," she said. "And I'm going to sleep pretty soon too."

Jondy made a face. "Do you at least have a tv?" she asked. "If I'm going to be bored senseless all night I might as well watch some cartoons or something."

Syl gestured to an empty entertainment centre on the wall, which was filled mostly with books. "Does it look like I have a tv?" She stood up and ruffled Jondy's hair. "Night baby sister." She could feel Jondy gaping after her indignantly, but she was tired. She closed her bedroom door behind her and climbed into bed with Van, who looked like she was already asleep.

"Goodnight Vannie," Syl whispered as she closed her eyes.

"Night Syl," Van answered.

Syl smiled at her back. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah, you too. Go to sleep."

Syl's smile widened and she cuddled into Van's back, and closed her eyes.


She could hear them talking in the living room. Van had arrived less than an hour ago, and had been told that Syl was in the single bedroom of the hotel room, sleeping. In fact she was standing in the darkness of the cracked door, listening to their conversation and watching their movements.

"She's had a hard time," Zack was saying.

Van nodded. "That's nothing new."

"This time it is."

"How so?"

Zack gave her a hard look. "How do you think?"

Van scowled at him. "I don't know what the fuck you mean." By way of an answer, Zack pulled out his cell phone and started checking his messages. After a moment Van spoke again, "Okay so I have an idea. How bad exactly?"

"Bad," Zack said shortly, glancing up at her as he clicked off his cell phone and tossed it onto the coffee table.

"Did you kill the guy?" she asked next. Zack gave a little shrug and Van lifted an eyebrow behind her dark glasses. "Why didn't you?"

"She needed to get out of there right away."

"Two seconds is all it would have taken," Van pointed out, and Zack looked over at her. "I'm sure you wanted to."

Zack stood up and crossed the room to the window. "I never said I didn't."

Van stood up as well. "I'm going to go talk to her."

Zack half-turned toward her and gave her a long look. He nodded. "Good." Van spun on her heel and started walking toward the bedroom. Syl noiselessly withdrew from the door and climbed between the sheets, closing her eyes and feigning sleep. She heard Van enter and stand in the doorway for a few moments, then her sister pushed away from the doorframe and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hear anything good?" she asked. Syl remained completely quiet, her eyes closed, her body limp, her breathing regular. Van reached out and gave her a gentle nudge in the ribs. "I know you're awake."

Syl opened her eyes. "Hi."

"Hi."

Syl studied her hands. So many lines, a kid in a group home once told her they meant something but she didn't believe him. "Do you think the lines on our hands mean something?"

Van laid down on the bed on top of the blankets and threaded her hands behind her head. "That's a weird fucking question."

Syl shrugged. "Just wondering."

"I don't care if they mean anything."

A little smile touched Syl's lips. "But do you think they do?"

"No."

Syl looked down at her hands again, then back to Van. "Why are you wearing those?" she asked, touching the edge of Van's sunglasses in the soft light. "It's dark." Van gave a half-shrug. "I like them."

"I don't. It makes it hard to see your eyes. Makes me think you're dangerous."

"That's the idea," Van said, allowing a bit of humour to enter her voice.

Syl's eyes dropped again. "I don't want to feel like you're dangerous, Vannie."

There was a long pause and then Van pulled the sunglasses off her face and folded them onto the bed between them. Syl picked them up and traced her fingers along their edges, around and around.

"You haven't called me that in a while."

Syl's eyes met Van's and for the first time she smiled, just a little. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I know," Van said. "I'm sorry about that, I wish we'd found you sooner."

They lost eye contact. "It wasn't your fault."

"Doesn't mean I can't wish it had been different."

"Maybe," Syl answered quietly. Her forehead sprouted with concern lines as she frowned. "Do I have to go back?"

They locked eyes. "No. You don't have to go anywhere you don't want to go." After a brief pause in which Syl relaxed significantly, Van added, "You look good."

"You too," Syl whispered.

"Your hair grew out nice."

"You too."

"You turned out shorter than I would have thought."

Syl allowed a tiny smile. "You too."

Van chuckled slightly. "Yeah, well, fuck Manticore for screwing us out of the tall genes." Syl glanced at the bedspread and felt the sheets slide between her fingertips. "Yeah." She felt Van reach out and touch her chin, tilting it up. Gentle but firm at the same time, like Zack. Syl allowed her sister to look into her bruised face, allowed her to gaze deeply into her eyes that had only darkened after Manticore, and Syl didn't turn away. "Keep your head up," Van said in that same gentle but firm way. "No sister of mine ever needs to be ashamed of anything, comprende?"

Syl answered, "I love you."

"You too, little sister," Van said. After a moment's silence she added, "I don't say it. Just so you know."

Syl looked up. "Don't say what?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." And Syl grinned.

"Punk," Van said, unable to force back the smirk or the grudging respect that appeared in her eyes under the overwhelming love and concern.

"Can I cuddle into you?" Syl asked after a moment, making her sister groan. Van had never been a touchy-feely person, even as a young child. "I know you don't like it, but…" She swallowed and they lost eye contact again. "I kind of need it."

"Okay," Van said after a moment. Surprised, Syl looked up at her and smiled.

"Thanks."

"No problem," Van answered softly. Syl curled herself into her sister's side and felt Van's arm hook around her back. She closed her eyes and didn't fake this time.

* * *

The next morning Syl had a tv, and Jondy was happily sitting in front of it devouring the last of Syl's cereal. Syl's books had been removed from the entertainment centre and stacked neatly against the wall. "Morning," Jondy said as Syl entered the room yawning. "What?" she added at her sister's raised eyebrow. "I got bored."

Syl shrugged as she dug through her cupboards in the adjoining kitchen for something to eat. Van entered the room and made no comment about the tv, just sat down next to Jondy and crossed her arms over her chest, watching the children's cartoon with a deep scowl on her face.

"Hungry?" Syl asked her.

"You got any beer?"

Syl let out a laugh. "Right." She pulled out a box of pasta. "I'm making spaghetti."

"For breakfast?" Van asked.

"Sounds good to me," Jondy piped up cheerfully.

"We'll move out after we eat," Van said. "Have you packed yet, Syl?"

Jondy stood up. "Here, I'll make food. Go ahead and get your stuff organized."

"Thanks, Jon," Syl answered, smiling at her sister. She went to the bedroom and gathered up what was important to her, which wasn't much. Living with Zack had taught her to minimize, because there was always the chance of having to move out in a hurry, and all she really needed were the clothes on her back and her family safe. Syl felt a pang as she thought of Zack, not wanting to imagine the implants that had been placed in his body but not being able to stop her mind from doing so. A tear rolled down her cheek and she brushed it away angrily. She was going to be 2IC for a while, so she and Van could take care of everyone. Then Zack would come home and everything would go back to normal. This was all just temporary, Van had said so herself. Syl clung to that, shutting off any part of her mind that tried to whisper about the defeat in Van's eyes, the careful way her sister had chosen her words. Zack was coming back and that was final. In her heart she knew it was true, and in knowing it, Syl knew she'd be okay for a while.