Disclaimer: In this chapter I own no one. whaaaaaa!!
Tomorrow took forever to come, but it did. Today is the dinner with Jess and I'm nervous as hell. He had called and told me we were going out to Chez Es Saada on 42 East 1st Street, so I have to dress up. I don't know what to expect from tonight, but I hope it goes well. I think I'm going to tell Jess about my life NOW, as opposed to THEN. It'll be hard, but I think I should tell him.
It's about mid- afternoon and I missed out on work today, purposely, just because it was Friday. As I lie in bed playing with the threads that dangle lightly at the ends of my sarong, I think about my life when I was younger. It seemed so simple and safe. The suns rays eloquently tickle my cheeks and flush them to a peachy tinted kind- of pink; like rosebuds on the edge- on the verge of blossoming.
I feel bored and I have to wait for quite a while. I look at the clock to see what time I should get ready. It's only 1:12 p.m. I don't know why I'm so anxious, it's just Jess! And that's the thing, it's just Jess! The one man I haven't seen in forever and a day and I'm having dinner with him tonight! Time goes by so slowly and I can't help but feel antsy. Time can do so much to a person. I wonder how much I've changed. No I don't need to wonder, because I know; too much. I wonder if he's changed. He seems the same, but looks can be deceiving.
I decide to take a nap and let my nerves calm down a little.
By the time I finally wake up, it's about 4:56 p.m., just enough time for me to get ready for about 2 hours. I run in to take a bath, not a shower a bath, and I soak myself in bath bubbles and crystals in the soothing tepid water.
I rinse off a little later and out comes a mist of peaches. I sniff my arm after I had lathered it with bubbles. It smells like the peachy scent has embedded its aromatic splendor in my skin. I wrap the towel tightly around myself and peer through my closet. I pick out a black dress with a deep v- neck cut. The dress goes to my knees and flatters my body, not to sound conceited but it's true. I pull out one and a half inched slippers with a diamond-studded buckle.
It is now 6:57 p.m. and he's supposed to be here at 7. I wait patiently in the living room for him. Then the door knocks and he's friggin' right on time! Shesh!
I compose myself and open the door. God he looks good! He looks about as nervous as I do. I smile politely and say, "Hey, you're on time."
"Yea, I know, I should have given you some extra time, I'll just wait out"-
"No, I'm ready," I say smiling even more.
He extends his right hand and I take it. He guides me down to the elevators, but he doesn't know that they're broken. I think he took the back staircase to get up here.
I turn to him and say, "The elevators are broken and we have to take the stairs."
"Oh, okay."
But I don't move, I continue saying, "Hold your breath for about 10 seconds while running at full speed down the stairs, don't touch the railings and if you see something lurking in the shadows, something small and furry, don't stop for it. Don't let in the air from inside the stairwell into your system or you'll be sick the whole night, you ready?"
His eyes gape wide open, and his mouth hangs in amazement. "Ye- yea. I think.."
I smile and take his hand as we run like there is no tomorrow down the stairwell. When we get out, he coughs for air. I slap his back and he thanks me with a heave of air.
"What the hell was that thing in the corner? It was like feeding off of something!" said Jess, terrified to the point of insanity.
Taking in large amounts of air, I respond with, "Oh Sammy? He's a- he's a (large breath) rat.."
It is now his turn to slap my back and I thank him.
"What a rush!" he said.
"You're telling me, I had to do that for everyday this past week!"
"That sucks, I don't think Kevorkian would approve of that!"
"Well too bad for him!"
And for the first time in forever, we laughed. We laughed hard and loud at something that wasn't as funny, but I think it was just the comfort of knowing that we had already started mending a broken relationship.
He took my hand and led me to a forest green passat. He slipped into the drivers seat and I in the passengers. He turned on the radio and the song that was playing was Weezer's Buddy Holly.
It was only the beginning so we still had time to make fools of ourselves and sing some of the lines.
"Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours, Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine, Woo-hoo, and that's for all time!!" I sang.
"Ooo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly, Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore, I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care 'bout that!!" Sang Jess.
We laughed again, just passing time.
When we arrived at Chez Es Saada, he came out of the car fast, just to open my door.
"Thank you Buddy Holly."
"No problem Mary Tyler Moore."
We smiled and walked to the front. After getting to our table I nearly fainted at the sight of the prices, they were outrageous! The cheapest things on the menu were the salad and the soup (A/N: I don't really know, so do penalize me for this).
He, however, was not awestricken by these absurd prices. I took in a slick icy breath of air and he noticed.
"Don't worry, it's on me," he said.
My eyes went wide. How the hell does he expect to pay for this stuff?!
The waiter came to our table and Jess ordered the steak (A/N: I really don't know if they have this or not..)
I ordered the same and then the silence began. I tucked loose ends of hair behind my ear. I think I should tell him now while it hasn't eaten the rest of my insides. It's better late than never.
"Jess?" I say, barely above a whisper.
"Hmm?"
"I need to tell you something..." the look on his face was telling me that he looked completely worried. His eyes begged me to continue. "I... I had changed my name.."
"Oh? How come?"
"Well, I didn't want to be part of Rory Gilmore anymore.. on my last days of college, I had cut off contact with my mom and Stars Hollow... I was having a hard time finding a job and was sort of mixed in with these people that always went out at night.. I finished college, but barely made it and still didn't have a job... I was still hanging out with those people though and they took my all over, we stayed up all night in one of their houses and we partied, so to speak... We drunk all kinds of things, from Vodka to Bloody Mary's, to Blue Hawaii's... I had to stop myself from doing that, at least hanging out with them and going out every night... I soon found a job at a magazine company, Desiree, but I still drunk and I couldn't stop... Only up until now, did I stop..but when I changed my name, I changed everything.. I was and am no longer Rory Gilmore..."
He just sat there, taking it all in blow for blow, breath for breath. It was horrific just seeing him like this. He sat there so silent, not even moving for crying out loud!
"Jess?...."
He took in a deep breath and said, "Okay.."
That's it?! Okay! I just gave a life speech just now and all he says is okay?! I'm a little lost!!
"I don't think I can be the same, if you aren't Rory Gilmore."
I stood up and shouted, "Well I can't go back!"
"Rory, yes you can.. just let me help you!"
"I don't need your help, I- I can do it on my own!"
"Rory look at you, no you can't! Please, if you care about me at all, just let me help you!"
I blinked my eyes and out came salty drops of despicable hate. I covered my face because I didn't want people to see me. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me.
"Come on, let's go..."
He guided me out. The car ride was silent and deathly. I sat there so still, just gazing out the window. When we came to my building I had already fallen asleep, but he didn't want to rush me up the smelly stairs sleeping, so he took me to his apartment.
I stirred lightly in my slumber. He carried me to his apartment and laid me on the couch. I curled up like a leaf when it falls from a tree.
He softly strokes my cheek and watches me sleep.
I am now completely asleep and am no longer able to see what is going on.
(Out of Rory's perspective. shock I know, but hey, I had to do it sometime)
Jess sits in a chair near the couch and watches Rory sleep. His Rory, the Rory he knew when they were younger. The Rory that would always tell him that he could be somebody and make a difference in the world. Now it would be the other way around, he needs to help Rory see the old Rory, not some person she made up.
Jess had not stopped loving her. It was too hard to do so. He loved her from the very day he laid eyes on her, and it was a highly known fact, but scarcely referred to in Jess's mind. Jess watches her sleep and she looks so far away, so far that he can't reach her and this hurts. Jess will just have to bear through this for her sake above all. She is what is most important to him and she will always be, no matter what. Time heals all wounds, right?
OMIGOSH, THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOO VERY MUCH FOR REVIEWING, WHEN I SAW ALL THOSE REVIEWS IN MY INBOX I WAS TOTALLY OVERJOYED!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME THAT YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS- THAT IT'S WORTH READING. THANKS A LOT! OOK, SO HERE WE GO AGAIN, AHEM AHEM, REVIEWING MAKES ME HAPPY, SO PLEASE REVIEW!!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
Tomorrow took forever to come, but it did. Today is the dinner with Jess and I'm nervous as hell. He had called and told me we were going out to Chez Es Saada on 42 East 1st Street, so I have to dress up. I don't know what to expect from tonight, but I hope it goes well. I think I'm going to tell Jess about my life NOW, as opposed to THEN. It'll be hard, but I think I should tell him.
It's about mid- afternoon and I missed out on work today, purposely, just because it was Friday. As I lie in bed playing with the threads that dangle lightly at the ends of my sarong, I think about my life when I was younger. It seemed so simple and safe. The suns rays eloquently tickle my cheeks and flush them to a peachy tinted kind- of pink; like rosebuds on the edge- on the verge of blossoming.
I feel bored and I have to wait for quite a while. I look at the clock to see what time I should get ready. It's only 1:12 p.m. I don't know why I'm so anxious, it's just Jess! And that's the thing, it's just Jess! The one man I haven't seen in forever and a day and I'm having dinner with him tonight! Time goes by so slowly and I can't help but feel antsy. Time can do so much to a person. I wonder how much I've changed. No I don't need to wonder, because I know; too much. I wonder if he's changed. He seems the same, but looks can be deceiving.
I decide to take a nap and let my nerves calm down a little.
By the time I finally wake up, it's about 4:56 p.m., just enough time for me to get ready for about 2 hours. I run in to take a bath, not a shower a bath, and I soak myself in bath bubbles and crystals in the soothing tepid water.
I rinse off a little later and out comes a mist of peaches. I sniff my arm after I had lathered it with bubbles. It smells like the peachy scent has embedded its aromatic splendor in my skin. I wrap the towel tightly around myself and peer through my closet. I pick out a black dress with a deep v- neck cut. The dress goes to my knees and flatters my body, not to sound conceited but it's true. I pull out one and a half inched slippers with a diamond-studded buckle.
It is now 6:57 p.m. and he's supposed to be here at 7. I wait patiently in the living room for him. Then the door knocks and he's friggin' right on time! Shesh!
I compose myself and open the door. God he looks good! He looks about as nervous as I do. I smile politely and say, "Hey, you're on time."
"Yea, I know, I should have given you some extra time, I'll just wait out"-
"No, I'm ready," I say smiling even more.
He extends his right hand and I take it. He guides me down to the elevators, but he doesn't know that they're broken. I think he took the back staircase to get up here.
I turn to him and say, "The elevators are broken and we have to take the stairs."
"Oh, okay."
But I don't move, I continue saying, "Hold your breath for about 10 seconds while running at full speed down the stairs, don't touch the railings and if you see something lurking in the shadows, something small and furry, don't stop for it. Don't let in the air from inside the stairwell into your system or you'll be sick the whole night, you ready?"
His eyes gape wide open, and his mouth hangs in amazement. "Ye- yea. I think.."
I smile and take his hand as we run like there is no tomorrow down the stairwell. When we get out, he coughs for air. I slap his back and he thanks me with a heave of air.
"What the hell was that thing in the corner? It was like feeding off of something!" said Jess, terrified to the point of insanity.
Taking in large amounts of air, I respond with, "Oh Sammy? He's a- he's a (large breath) rat.."
It is now his turn to slap my back and I thank him.
"What a rush!" he said.
"You're telling me, I had to do that for everyday this past week!"
"That sucks, I don't think Kevorkian would approve of that!"
"Well too bad for him!"
And for the first time in forever, we laughed. We laughed hard and loud at something that wasn't as funny, but I think it was just the comfort of knowing that we had already started mending a broken relationship.
He took my hand and led me to a forest green passat. He slipped into the drivers seat and I in the passengers. He turned on the radio and the song that was playing was Weezer's Buddy Holly.
It was only the beginning so we still had time to make fools of ourselves and sing some of the lines.
"Woo-hoo, but you know I'm yours, Woo-hoo, and I know you're mine, Woo-hoo, and that's for all time!!" I sang.
"Ooo-ee-oo I look just like Buddy Holly, Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore, I don't care what they say about us anyway, I don't care 'bout that!!" Sang Jess.
We laughed again, just passing time.
When we arrived at Chez Es Saada, he came out of the car fast, just to open my door.
"Thank you Buddy Holly."
"No problem Mary Tyler Moore."
We smiled and walked to the front. After getting to our table I nearly fainted at the sight of the prices, they were outrageous! The cheapest things on the menu were the salad and the soup (A/N: I don't really know, so do penalize me for this).
He, however, was not awestricken by these absurd prices. I took in a slick icy breath of air and he noticed.
"Don't worry, it's on me," he said.
My eyes went wide. How the hell does he expect to pay for this stuff?!
The waiter came to our table and Jess ordered the steak (A/N: I really don't know if they have this or not..)
I ordered the same and then the silence began. I tucked loose ends of hair behind my ear. I think I should tell him now while it hasn't eaten the rest of my insides. It's better late than never.
"Jess?" I say, barely above a whisper.
"Hmm?"
"I need to tell you something..." the look on his face was telling me that he looked completely worried. His eyes begged me to continue. "I... I had changed my name.."
"Oh? How come?"
"Well, I didn't want to be part of Rory Gilmore anymore.. on my last days of college, I had cut off contact with my mom and Stars Hollow... I was having a hard time finding a job and was sort of mixed in with these people that always went out at night.. I finished college, but barely made it and still didn't have a job... I was still hanging out with those people though and they took my all over, we stayed up all night in one of their houses and we partied, so to speak... We drunk all kinds of things, from Vodka to Bloody Mary's, to Blue Hawaii's... I had to stop myself from doing that, at least hanging out with them and going out every night... I soon found a job at a magazine company, Desiree, but I still drunk and I couldn't stop... Only up until now, did I stop..but when I changed my name, I changed everything.. I was and am no longer Rory Gilmore..."
He just sat there, taking it all in blow for blow, breath for breath. It was horrific just seeing him like this. He sat there so silent, not even moving for crying out loud!
"Jess?...."
He took in a deep breath and said, "Okay.."
That's it?! Okay! I just gave a life speech just now and all he says is okay?! I'm a little lost!!
"I don't think I can be the same, if you aren't Rory Gilmore."
I stood up and shouted, "Well I can't go back!"
"Rory, yes you can.. just let me help you!"
"I don't need your help, I- I can do it on my own!"
"Rory look at you, no you can't! Please, if you care about me at all, just let me help you!"
I blinked my eyes and out came salty drops of despicable hate. I covered my face because I didn't want people to see me. He stood up and wrapped his arms around me.
"Come on, let's go..."
He guided me out. The car ride was silent and deathly. I sat there so still, just gazing out the window. When we came to my building I had already fallen asleep, but he didn't want to rush me up the smelly stairs sleeping, so he took me to his apartment.
I stirred lightly in my slumber. He carried me to his apartment and laid me on the couch. I curled up like a leaf when it falls from a tree.
He softly strokes my cheek and watches me sleep.
I am now completely asleep and am no longer able to see what is going on.
(Out of Rory's perspective. shock I know, but hey, I had to do it sometime)
Jess sits in a chair near the couch and watches Rory sleep. His Rory, the Rory he knew when they were younger. The Rory that would always tell him that he could be somebody and make a difference in the world. Now it would be the other way around, he needs to help Rory see the old Rory, not some person she made up.
Jess had not stopped loving her. It was too hard to do so. He loved her from the very day he laid eyes on her, and it was a highly known fact, but scarcely referred to in Jess's mind. Jess watches her sleep and she looks so far away, so far that he can't reach her and this hurts. Jess will just have to bear through this for her sake above all. She is what is most important to him and she will always be, no matter what. Time heals all wounds, right?
OMIGOSH, THANK YOU GUYS SOOOOO VERY MUCH FOR REVIEWING, WHEN I SAW ALL THOSE REVIEWS IN MY INBOX I WAS TOTALLY OVERJOYED!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME THAT YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY READING THIS- THAT IT'S WORTH READING. THANKS A LOT! OOK, SO HERE WE GO AGAIN, AHEM AHEM, REVIEWING MAKES ME HAPPY, SO PLEASE REVIEW!!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
