Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or "Gollum's Song" from the Lord of the Rings the Two Towers soundtrack! Yep! It's a songfic chapter! I think it turned out well! With that:
::These are song lyrics::
"This is what's spoken aloud"
Normal Text is what Seto is thinking.
A Soliloquy of Missing Tears
::Where once was light::
Morning...
Another day. Another struggle.
::Now darkness falls::
How inviting...
::Where once was love::
It's funny; I wake up each morning and wait for him to come running into my bedroom. I still believe he's going to come; come bring the light of a new tomorrow. I never needed the sun with Mokuba around. But even the mighty sun, is blocked from sight when the rain comes...
It's been ten minutes now; he isn't going to come...
::Love is no more::
I guess it's time for me to get up and face the world. Though the world has been rather dull lately.
Oh well...
::Don't say-Goodbye::
I get up out of my bed and walk over to the bathroom; the intense light reminds me of how little sleep I've actually gotten. I prepare for work as usual; nothing exciting, nothing new. I walked back into my room and opened my closet door. So many choices, yet only one thing appeals to me now.
Black.
Yes, black is an ironic color. It hides your suffering like a veil, but at the same time it lets others read your emotions like a book.
Truly ironic.
::Don't say-I didn't try::
Time to go now; go to the place that is my greatest pride, and my greatest sorrow. I don't know why I bother with it anymore. Maybe it's the money, or the fame. Or maybe it's just the rush power I get from being at a higher position than other people...
Looking at it now, it seems pointless...
I thought that by focusing all my effort on my company and being the best would give meaning to my life. Being an orphan, I really didn't have a purpose in life; nothing to hope for; no one to care for me, except for Mokuba, of course. I don't think anyone really knew I existed. So what was I supposed to do? Drift aimlessly through life without reason?
No, I needed to find a purpose.
But what I really needed was...
...to belong.
I think that's why I became so obsessed with my work, with Duel Monsters. If people knew my name, knew that I existed, no matter what their opinion of me was, it meant that I belonged. So I became engrossed in my work. If I was the best, everyone would have to acknowledge me, but my obsessions got the best of me...
::These tears we cry::
I walk out the door and what do I see?
Rain.
::Are falling rain::
Just another reminder of my pain. It reminds me of him. The man who single-handedly ruined my life.
Gozaburo Kaiba.
::For all the lies you told us::
::The hurt, the blame::
That monster; I can't believe I actually chose to live with him. I was so stupid. Yes, now I know the truth, but it was a little too late, wasn't it? It really doesn't matter now. He's gone, and I can't change the past.
No matter how much I might want to...
::And we will weep::
::To be so alone::
Great. Time to start my workday. Time to put up with all the nonsense of the adult world. This is stupid; why am I still here? I have more than enough money to live off of, and it's not like I'm even supposed to be here. I'm not even an adult yet! Why do I have to work with all the rest of these fools? I don't belong here.
Then again, I do belong, don't I?
::We are lost::
::We can never go home::
Not an adult, but not a child either...
Where do I fit in?
The company; that's where I belong. In my own warped mind, that's were I fit in. That's all I know, and that's where I'll remain.
Time to get to work...
::So in the end::
::I'll be-what I will be::
Sign this, approve that; this is monotonous. How did I ever enjoy this? I don't think I did. The only reason put up with this was to make Mokuba proud.
Okay, so that's not all true.
I did enjoy destroying my step-father's work. I got satisfaction in knowing that I was able to overpower him for once, and take over the company. I guess I did do the world a favor. It's not like we need another military facility.
Nothing's happening today, maybe I'll go home early.
"Mr. Kaiba, is it true? About your brother, I mean."
What's this? Reporters?
"Was it a case of homicide? Or suicide perhaps?"
How dare they! Suicide? Never! Mokuba would never do such a thing!
"I heard the person who murdered your brother was from a rival company; is that true?"
Maybe it is, but like I'd tell you scum anything...
"Please Mr. Kaiba, we need a statement!"
Leave me alone...
"Mr. Kaiba! Tell us, what is your reaction to your brother's death?"
::No loyal friend::
::Was ever there for me::
"Mr. Kaiba, is this going to effect your company's performance?"
I don't know. Probably...
"Mr. Kaiba, what do you have to say to the killer?"
Take a guess...
"What do you plan to do now?"
I haven't thought about it...
"Mr. Kaiba, please say something!"
::We say-Goodbye::
::We say-You didn't try::
I don't have to take this anymore. I'm leaving.
"Mr. Kaiba where are you going?!"
"Mr. Kaiba!"
I have to get out of here. I need to go someplace where I'm not constantly reminded of his death. How heartless can they be? You think I want to answer all those questions? Of course not! I'm human too!
Aren't I?
::These tears you cry::
::Have come too late::
Maybe not; I've been so heartless all my life, maybe I've forgotten what being human is about....
Stupid Cheerleader was right...
I've been cruel to everyone else; how can I expect them not to act the same?
::Take back the lies::
::The hurt, the blame::
How could I let myself become like this? If my younger self were to meet me now, he'd probably kill me for ever considering this lifestyle...
But it doesn't matter now, right? I can't change the past...
::And you will weep::
::When you face the end alone::
"Why'd you run from dem? You shoulda knocked some sense into those jerks."
The mutt returns...
"Maybe..."
"Not maybe! Ya shoulda! Dey had no right to treat ya like dat!"
Oh yes they did, and you know it...
"It wouldn't have proved anything,"
"So?"
Simple minded; that's just like you...
"Wheeler, thanks for the advice, but I think I'd rather be alone right now..."
"All right, but if those reportas come back, give 'em the old one two, ya hear?"
You know, that would be fun, but I think I'll pass...
"See ya, Kaiba."
That was an interesting encounter. The mutt, in his own way, helped me...I guess. Though I know that there's nothing he can do. I have to get through this on my own...
I need to leave this place; this place where everything I look at reminds me of my suffering...
::You are lost::
::You can never go home::
But where can I go?
::You are lost::
::You can never go home::
