Things you need to know!

This is what's spoken aloud

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

A Soliloquy of Missing Tears

"Kaiba, what are you doing out in the rain?"

What's this? Yugi?

"Nothing..."

"You're soaked; you should really go inside."

Have I been standing here that long? I must've been; it's nearly nightfall.

"Would you like me to walk you home?"

"Yugi, I don't need you to walk me home."

"I know, but I just thought you might want some company..."

Company...I guess that would be all right. After all, it's not like I have anything to lose now...

"Whatever, come on then."

It's funny. I wouldn't even have considered walking home with Yugi a few weeks ago, but now everything's changed...

Why?

After all that I've done to him, why is he here now, trying to comfort me?

"It's pretty cold, isn't Kaiba?"

More than you could imagine, Yugi. I've been cold all my life, but why now can I feel the frigidness of my heart?

"I guess that means Fall's right around the corner. That could explain all the rain we've been having lately too."

Perhaps it's because I've just now excepted that my heart existed?

"You know, Kaiba, I like the Fall... It's not too hot, not too cold. It's just right."

"You sound like Goldie Locks..."

"I do, don't I?"

I wonder how it is, that he can keep smiling. Even though he'd sad, he smiles anyway....

"Why?"

"Why, what?"

"How do you manage to smile all the time?"

In every tough situation I've seen, Yugi and his friends have always remained in high spirits. Even though things looked hopeless. It was infuriating how cheerful they always seemed to be... I think it's because I didn't understand why, that annoyed me.

"Well, Kaiba, it's because of my friends. I wouldn't be able to go on without them. Knowing that we're in this together, and that we'll always be there for one another, makes me feel like I can do anything."

"You can't do everything."

"I know, but... Kaiba, you shouldn't give up on hope so easily. If you believe in the ones who you care about and care about you, then you'll understand why it is I can keep smiling..."

But what happens when the only person that cared about you is gone?

"And if no one cares about you?"

"Kaiba, despite what you might think, people..."

"Just answer the question, Yugi."

"I'll answer your question."

After that everything became a blur. I can't really say exactly what happened in that instant; all I can remember is...

The dark voice...

...followed by a gunshot...

...and Yugi...

...falling to the ground.

Running over to him, I was relieved to find that he was still breathing, in fact...

...he was smiling.

"Yugi, are you all right?!"

Of course I already knew the answer to that question. No, he wasn't all right. He was lying, covered in his own blood, with his life slowly leaving him. And yet, like a fool, he smiled on...

"I'm fine, it's nothing."

"Nothing, huh?"

"Heh, well okay, I guess it is something, but don't worry about it."

As I watched him laugh painfully, a haunting memory came over my mind.

"Seto, I'm sorry that I can't stay with you like we promised. Thank you for always being there for me. I know other people may think you don't have a heart, but I know that's not true. Deep inside, you have a heart as pure as gold. Don't ever lose that, Big Brother. Don't worry; I will always be with you; no one can ever break the bond we share.... Goodbye, Seto...I love you."

Yugi, smiled just like Mokuba...

I never realized this until now, but Mokuba, he too smiled in the face of danger.

Why?

Is it because he believed Yugi would win?

"No... It's because I believed in you, Seto."

Mokuba?

"Seto, you were the one I cared about, and I knew with you around, everything would turn out okay."

But Mokuba, everything's not okay...

"Seto when are you going to stop blaming yourself for this? It's not your fault!"

But if I'd taken better care of you...

"Seto, you took the best care of me."

So you don't blame me?

"I never blamed you."

"What's the matter, Kaiba?!"

I turned around and faced the man in the corner. Looking into his eyes I saw something, and it forced me into a berserker...

In his eyes I saw the cold bloodedness...

...of Mokuba's killer.

"Please, don't hurt me!"

Snapping back to reality, I found myself holding that murder's life in my hands. I now had the power to say whether he lived or died. I could get my revenge for what he did to my brother. For in my hands I held the tool that would bring everything to a close...

"Why not? You sure didn't think twice when you killed my brother!"

I watched the man, as he cowered in fear, knowing that his death was inevitable.

I enjoyed watching him.

I loved the feeling of watching someone else squirm, watching them cowering under my superiority.

No...

This isn't what I want...

This...this is...

...not right.

At that moment, I felt like the person that I despised most...Gozaburo Kaiba. It's ironic, the one person that I didn't want to turn out like, is the one that I've become...

"That's not true."

Mokuba...you know it's true. You knew it from the beginning.

"That's not true, you aren't the same as Gozaburo."

And how is that?

"Seto, deep inside, you have a heart of gold...I told you not to forget that, Big Brother..."

Sorry, Mokuba, I know...though now, I think I understand what you mean.

I threw aside the gun; I let the feelings of remorse and anger fall with that silver piece of death.

I felt the thick sheets of ice around me melt away, and with it, all the ill feelings I had kept inside...

As it dropped, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.

It was like the first day of Spring, when the sun comes out and melts the frozen snow, revealing the green earth that had been hidden under the frigid crystals of winter. Of course, it was barren land at first; there weren't many plants, and everything was still damp, but, in time, it would grow, and regain its former splendor.

Finally I can let go of the past. I don't have to worry about the mistakes I've made, because I know that life goes on, and though I may not be proud of the things I've done...I can learn from my mistakes, and become a better person because of them. It's been so long, but finally I'm...

"Free."

"I knew you could do it, Big Brother..."