A/N: I'm terribely sorry for my absence. I was ill and I had a writer's
block. I do hope you still support me and willing to review. I PROMISE the
next four chapters will be on soon! - Nanja
Chapter 26: Confessions
Hermione was walking through the corridors. She didn't care if she would be caught by someone. She didn't care at all. Her mind was lingering about thoughts and memories which made her confused. Why was she the one who had to face Voldemort again? Why had Ginny died? Why couldn't she cry and why, why couldn't she be open to Harry? She wanted to tell him so much... But this wasn't the right time.
She turned the corner.
There were also many things that weren't clear to her either. Her power, she didn't feel powerfull or stronger at all. And Draco, she couldn't explain. He had been there for her for a long period of time, but he couldn't take away pain. In fact, the more she talked to him, the more she became aware of her pain. And Snape. She didn't understand him either. He was Harry's uncle, they all knew it and yet nothing had changed.
She sighed.
Maybe she'd return to Gryffindor.
Harry awoke with a headache. It became clear to him he had fallen asleep in the chair beside the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. He yawned, got up and looked out of the window. It was still dark outside.
A terrible feeling entered his heart. Ginny was dead. God.
He sank back into the chair.
It finally seemed to hit him. She was dead. She would never return. He wanted to hurt himself. He needed to hurt someone. He had to release his anger... He bit his lip. He was going crazy. Crazy an lost in the situation. There were more important things at the moment than Ginny's death, cruel as it may sound. Voldemort would certainly come back soon and not to mention Hermione's new powers.
A knock on the portrait. Harry raised his eyebrows.
Hermione knocked again. She didn't know the password and she did not want to wake the Fat Lady. Hopefully, someone heard her.
Harry got up and walked to the portrait. "Who's there?" he whispered.
Hermione swallowed. "It's me, Hermione," she whispered back.
Harry was even more bemused at that response. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Open up and I'll explain!" Hermione replied.
Harry opened the portrait and Hermione came in and closed it behind her. Then she turned to Harry, the both of them were still in their school robes.
"Couldn't catch any sleep?" she said, pointing at his robes.
"Not really. Only slept for a short time and not even in my bed. What are you doing here?" Harry asked, sitting down.
Hermione followed his lead. "I couldn't sleep at all. These thoughts..." she shook her head "I can't live like this anymore..." she looked up at him. "I can't do it anymore Harry. I can't be the bad girl anymore. I can't keep it up. It's like having thirty subjects at the same time. Impossible and very exhausting. I don't know what people expect from me now. Everyone's expecting something else. The Slytherin's expect me to be the Hermione I've been playing the last couple of weeks, Dumbledore's expecting me to beat up Voldemort, Draco's expecting me to either support him or return to Gryffindor... I don't even know what I expect from myself. I have no idea and no thoughts about my future at all..."
Harry bent towards her and grabbed her hand. "Hermione..." he whispered. "Don't let them control your life... You are too smart to let them do that! Listen to me!" he looked her in the eye. "You are not the Hermione you've been lately. You know that and I know that and you keep denying it, but you are a true Gryffindor. You are no bad person, your are no superbeing... you are Hermione Granger, best student of Hogwarts."
Hermione burst out in tears and Harry pulled her into his lap. "You are mine. I won't let you go. I won't stop believing in you." The words just formed on his lips and were spoken before he knew it.
"You mean..." Hermione said between sobs "You mean... you love me?"
Harry stared at her for a while. "And you mean you didn't know that? You really think I would've tried to bring you back to your senses if I didn't love you?"
Hermione shook her head. "But I thought you just loved me... as a friend."
Harry smiled. "I do love you as a friend,... but also as the person who you are. I love you more than I love life itself. I am only unable to admit that..."
"You just did," Hermione smiled back at him.
"I did..." Harry suddenly saddened. "But it makes me feel guilty to do so. I loved Ginny... or I didn't. I don't know if I loved her..."
"But you do know for sure that you love me?" Hermione said.
"I do know that for sure. But you love Draco, don't you?" Harry replied unsure.
"I love Draco. Or loved. Or didn't. I have absolutely no idea. I only have one idea at the moment and that is that I love you. More than anything in the world. I never meant to hurt you."
Harry looked at her and she returned his look. The both of them were exhausted and tired and unable to say anything. Soon after that moment they both fell asleep in the chair next to the fireplace.
Chapter 26: Confessions
Hermione was walking through the corridors. She didn't care if she would be caught by someone. She didn't care at all. Her mind was lingering about thoughts and memories which made her confused. Why was she the one who had to face Voldemort again? Why had Ginny died? Why couldn't she cry and why, why couldn't she be open to Harry? She wanted to tell him so much... But this wasn't the right time.
She turned the corner.
There were also many things that weren't clear to her either. Her power, she didn't feel powerfull or stronger at all. And Draco, she couldn't explain. He had been there for her for a long period of time, but he couldn't take away pain. In fact, the more she talked to him, the more she became aware of her pain. And Snape. She didn't understand him either. He was Harry's uncle, they all knew it and yet nothing had changed.
She sighed.
Maybe she'd return to Gryffindor.
Harry awoke with a headache. It became clear to him he had fallen asleep in the chair beside the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. He yawned, got up and looked out of the window. It was still dark outside.
A terrible feeling entered his heart. Ginny was dead. God.
He sank back into the chair.
It finally seemed to hit him. She was dead. She would never return. He wanted to hurt himself. He needed to hurt someone. He had to release his anger... He bit his lip. He was going crazy. Crazy an lost in the situation. There were more important things at the moment than Ginny's death, cruel as it may sound. Voldemort would certainly come back soon and not to mention Hermione's new powers.
A knock on the portrait. Harry raised his eyebrows.
Hermione knocked again. She didn't know the password and she did not want to wake the Fat Lady. Hopefully, someone heard her.
Harry got up and walked to the portrait. "Who's there?" he whispered.
Hermione swallowed. "It's me, Hermione," she whispered back.
Harry was even more bemused at that response. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Open up and I'll explain!" Hermione replied.
Harry opened the portrait and Hermione came in and closed it behind her. Then she turned to Harry, the both of them were still in their school robes.
"Couldn't catch any sleep?" she said, pointing at his robes.
"Not really. Only slept for a short time and not even in my bed. What are you doing here?" Harry asked, sitting down.
Hermione followed his lead. "I couldn't sleep at all. These thoughts..." she shook her head "I can't live like this anymore..." she looked up at him. "I can't do it anymore Harry. I can't be the bad girl anymore. I can't keep it up. It's like having thirty subjects at the same time. Impossible and very exhausting. I don't know what people expect from me now. Everyone's expecting something else. The Slytherin's expect me to be the Hermione I've been playing the last couple of weeks, Dumbledore's expecting me to beat up Voldemort, Draco's expecting me to either support him or return to Gryffindor... I don't even know what I expect from myself. I have no idea and no thoughts about my future at all..."
Harry bent towards her and grabbed her hand. "Hermione..." he whispered. "Don't let them control your life... You are too smart to let them do that! Listen to me!" he looked her in the eye. "You are not the Hermione you've been lately. You know that and I know that and you keep denying it, but you are a true Gryffindor. You are no bad person, your are no superbeing... you are Hermione Granger, best student of Hogwarts."
Hermione burst out in tears and Harry pulled her into his lap. "You are mine. I won't let you go. I won't stop believing in you." The words just formed on his lips and were spoken before he knew it.
"You mean..." Hermione said between sobs "You mean... you love me?"
Harry stared at her for a while. "And you mean you didn't know that? You really think I would've tried to bring you back to your senses if I didn't love you?"
Hermione shook her head. "But I thought you just loved me... as a friend."
Harry smiled. "I do love you as a friend,... but also as the person who you are. I love you more than I love life itself. I am only unable to admit that..."
"You just did," Hermione smiled back at him.
"I did..." Harry suddenly saddened. "But it makes me feel guilty to do so. I loved Ginny... or I didn't. I don't know if I loved her..."
"But you do know for sure that you love me?" Hermione said.
"I do know that for sure. But you love Draco, don't you?" Harry replied unsure.
"I love Draco. Or loved. Or didn't. I have absolutely no idea. I only have one idea at the moment and that is that I love you. More than anything in the world. I never meant to hurt you."
Harry looked at her and she returned his look. The both of them were exhausted and tired and unable to say anything. Soon after that moment they both fell asleep in the chair next to the fireplace.
