July 20, 2003.
The Red Hood has become more dangerous than before. In a recent robbery, he changed his guise from the Red Hood to "the Joker," leaving a playing card Joker in the safe that he robbed. Witnesses to the theft a few days ago said he had clown make-up on; bright white face paint and a green wig. He's also made his method of operation more clown-like. Besides leaving the cards at his crimes, he also uses such things as laughing gas. The new guise has seemed to fuel his insane and unpredictable behavior. He must be stopped. Tonight, I'll go out and see what I can find about the Joker's next robbery. Unfortunately, in the meantime, Aunt Harriet has set me up on a blind date with a young actress, Julie Madison. I'm sure she's a nice girl and all, but dating is the least of my worries right now, and I want to keep it that way. Since the moment I put on the mantle of the Bat, my life has become too complicated to involve a girl. So, I'll just have to do my best to deter Aunt Harriet's matchmaking.
Alfred stepped on the brake, and Bruce Wayne's limousine slowed to a stop. Alfred quickly stepped out and opened Bruce's door.
"Thanks, Alfred," Bruce said, getting out. "You really don't have to do that." Bruce walked to the door and knocked. A moment later the door was opened and he saw a young woman, about his age, with shoulder length black hair.
"Bruce?" she asked.
"Yeah. You ready to go?"
"Uh huh," Julie pulled on a coat and walked to the car. The two of them stood there for an awkward moment, and then Bruce cleared his throat.
"Sorry, he does this some times," he told her. "Alfred! Open the lady's door!"
Alfred rocketed out of the car and dashed over to open the door for Julie, who, almost as confused as he, got inside.
"I'm terribly sorry, Sir. My most distinct apologies," Alfred said meekly as he got back behind the wheel and Bruce also got inside.
"Hmm," Bruce said, pouring himself a glass of wine. "Sometimes the guy forgets that a gentleman should hold a door open for a lady. How about that. Wine?"
Later that night…
The
date was over, and after hurriedly checking to make sure his aunt was asleep,
Bruce hurried down to the Bat-cave, followed closely by Alfred. Once there, he began putting on his costume.
"Master Bruce," Alfred said sharply. "I
must insist on speaking to you before you leave."
"Alright, Alfred," Bruce resigned, knowing what was coming.
"I noticed a significant change in your attitude during tonight's excursion. What, pray tell, was the cause of this behavior?"
"Look at me, Alfred," Bruce said, gesturing at his costume. He was wearing the complete Bat-costume except for the cowl. "Does this look like the kind of guy who should be looking for that kind of relationship?"
"Perhaps not, Sir, and yet,"
"Who knows?" Bruce continued, cutting him off. "I'm only a man. I could be killed at any moment. Any day now, you could be attending my funeral."
"Master Bruce, I believe you're being to hard on yourself. If you weren't completely confidant in your abilities, you would not go out there."
"She'd just get in the way, Alfred, you know that. There's no place in my life for a woman."
"So you played your Don Diego hoping to dissuade the lady from coming back?"
"Yes."
"I'd caution against doing that further, Master Bruce. For all your psychology courses, you should know that playing the 'bad boy' would only attract more women. And besides, deceit will get you nowhere."
"Look at me," Bruce said, frustrated. "This entire thing is one big deception."
"All the more reason, Sir, that you should make it a point to diminish it elsewhere as much as possible. Perhaps you've sent one girl away in tears, but it's not to late to salvage your reputation for chivalry and for honesty."
I know Alfred was right. There were some lies I was willing to tell in the name of my war on crime, but I realized that this shouldn't be one of them. I remember something my father once told me about being a gentleman. When you're young, your dad tells you never to hit a girl. But mine said that you should never hurt a girl at all; physically or otherwise. I suppose Julie Madison will forget about tonight pretty quickly, but it's likely that the way I treated her tonight probably did hurt. In fact, it was designed to. That's something that my father would never approve of.
Continued…
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