The Batman Casefiles
#3
July 30, 2003.
I've been watching the Johnson & Clark law office for a week and a half. The Joker hasn't made his move. It's possible he found out I was on to him, although he hasn't committed a crime somewhere else. It seems likely that's what he would do if he found me out, instead of just laying low. But maybe tonight will be different.
Batman stood perched on a rooftop, crouching low. It was night, but this area was well lit, and the Batman didn't want to find out what the public thought of him after a month of making infrequent appearances amongst the underworld. Batman knew that his existence was little more than an urban myth among criminals, and he didn't want anyone, even those who were out at this time of night, to give wings to the rumor.
He watched for a long time, patiently. In previous nights he had waited for four or five hours. He didn't leave until he knew that the crime wouldn't happen that night.
And this night he was rewarded. He saw a small car pull up in an alley perpendicular to 16th street. Out of it stepped a man wearing a reddish-purple pinstripe suit. Through the darkness it was hard to see, but as the man stepped into the light of a street-lamp, Batman noticed the astonishing bone white pallor of his skin. He prepared to swing down, as he set off his trademark bat-howl. The Joker and his lackey looked up just in time for the thug to see Batman's booted feet coming straight at him.
The thug went down as Batman kicked him in the stomach. The Joker took a haphazard shot, and then ran into the law office. Batman followed after him. When he got inside, the Joker had already made it through the lobby. There were two doors there, one led to a closet, the other to the main office. Batman dismissed the closet, figuring that unless the Joker was a total coward he wouldn't try to hide there. He went toward the main office. Opening the door, as he was stepping into the office, his foot caught a small wire set there. The tripwire set off an explosive, but the amateur bomb was misdirected, and instead of exploding upward, it went down, causing the floor to cave in under Batman. He fell down the hole, but managed to catch onto the floor, stopping the fall.
But before he could pull himself up, the Joker reemerged from his hiding place and shot Batman. His Kevlar protected him, but it made him lose his grip, and he fell down to the ground. The Joker saw that Batman wasn't dead, and fired the other five bullets of his revolver. Batman could feel a painful welt forming in the place each bullet hit, but as the Joker turned and retreated, Batman got up, and jumped, grabbing the broken basement ceiling. He pulled himself back up to the main law office and saw that the Joker had once again disappeared. He rushed to the window, thinking the Joker had escaped through that. But the window was closed and locked.
"Hm," Batman said, considering the situation, "He could've gone out the front, but…" Batman noticed a faint noise in office's walk-in closet. "Maybe he's not above hiding in a closet." Batman activated his night-vision lenses and opened the closet door. He saw the Joker cowering in the corner. He stepped warily toward him, when the door closed behind him and he heard a low hissing sound. Reflexively he reached into one pouch of his utility belt. He pulled out a small oxygen mask. Out of another pouch came a small air tank, which he hooked up to the mask.
The Joker, lying crumpled in the corner, was first whimpering, then began laughing as the gas began to fill the room. Laughing gas, Batman mused. He breathed lightly with his artificial air supply, but knew it wouldn't last forever. He stepped back and pounded a foot firmly into the door. It shuddered, but held. Batman kicked it again, and it went down.
The Batman reached the back of the closet in one stride, and lifted up the Joker. He carried him the few steps out of the large closet, and as he turned off his night vision lenses in the normal light, he saw what he already suspected. The man now lying on the ground in front of him, shaking with forced laughter, was not the Joker, but Vinny, wearing stage makeup. Batman looked up to see the real Joker step over the large hole in the floor.
"So, this is that mysterious dark creature that Vinny told me about," the Joker said, appraising his foe. "Hm, you don't look ten feet tall. I don't see any fangs either. Oh well, it was dark. What can you expect from a lowlife like him?"
"You know you can't win, Joker," Batman growled, after he had put his oxygen mask back in his belt. "I'm putting a stop to your games."
"Games?" Joker asked, "How about card games?" Three playing cards appeared in the Joker's hand; the light reflected off of their razor-sharp edges. In the same instant he threw them like ninja throwing stars at Batman. Batman ducked and dove out of the way, pulling out a batarang. He threw it and it sliced through one card, splitting it and making it fall harmlessly to the ground.
"I've got one better," Batman said menacingly, as he moved toward the Joker. "No more tricks, Joker," Batman moved toward the Joker, grabbing him by his pinstripe coat.
"The tripwire didn't work," the Joker said to himself, "the gas, the cards, what's left?" A thought came to the Joker. "Say, Bats, have you took a sniff at my flower?" He motioned toward the flower on his lapel.
"What?" Batman asked, sensing danger, but before he could react, he felt burning-hot acid shooting from the flower, through his costume, and into his skin. He roared with pain, dropping the Joker, and falling to the ground.
"That old trick works every time," The Joker said, walking toward the door. "Deal with him, Vinny."
"But, I shot him before. He's bulletproof."
"It's just his costume, dopey. Just shoot him were the acid burned it away, and it'll be bye-bye, Bats."
"Okay." The Joker left, and Vinny pointed his gun at Batman. Batman tensed, trying to move his hand. Pain shot through it.
"You didn't listen," Batman said, his voice a harsh whisper.
"What?" Vinny asked, nervous.
"You told the Joker, didn't you?"
"Yeah,"
Vinny said, still pointing the gun and the prone crimefighter. "I had to.
He would've figured it out, and then I would've been in trouble!"
"You are in trouble. I told you what
he'll do to you. He's gonna kill you,
Vinny."
"No!"
"Count on it. He's insane. I can stop him, but only if I'm alive."
"I can't. It's not smart to cross the Joker."
"You already did!" Batman rasped. "You think he'll forget that?"
Vinny thought about it for a moment, and then pulled the trigger. But even as his muscles tightened, Batman rolled out of the way, making the bullet hit his protected back instead. He grunted as the pain of exertion rushed across his body, but he overcame it. Pulling out a batarang, he threw it at Vinny's hand, making him drop the gun. Roaring, feeling like his chest was on fire, he jumped forward and grabbed the hapless thug, knocking him out with a single punch to the face.
The Joker's other thug, behind the wheel of the Joker's car, turned, as they pulled to a stop at their hideout.
"Hey, Joker, you think Vinny got de Batman?"
"I suppose there's half a chance he didn't botch it up. I don't think it's very likely, though. That's just what happens when you double-cross the Joker."
"But I don't get it, boss. Why didn't you stay and make sure dat Batman was out of de way?"
"Look at it this way. If Vinny failed, right now he's on a one-way trip to the calaboose, with a minor detour to the hospital. And I'd be going with him if I'd stayed."
Continued…
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