Hi, everybody!  Sorry it's been so long between chappies.  School started and the past two weeks have been hell on earth.  As for you lovely people who reviewed and guessed what would happen, I will say the following: one of you is right. 

And I have more to report in the Good News Department: Kopah, the proprietor of Wagnerszenen, has just posted the picture that I drew for the cover of this little collection.  Open another browser window and go here (sorry about the spacing, it's really all rammed together)

h t t p : / / w w w 3 . s y m p a t i c o . c a / t h e k o p e s / n i g h t c r a w l e r /

and then go to The Fanwork Page.  Choose Fanart.  Scroll to the bottom of the Fanart page and check out the black-and-white one.  Enjoy!

=== I VANT TO DIRECT ===

Part 3: Mavericks

School ended and the entire cast and crew went back to the mansion to get in their assorted vehicles and drive out to the site.  The initial idea had been to use the Blackbird, but the professor thought that would look way too suspicious.  So it was back to the house to load up and drive away. 

Kurt was whistling and packing a bag with things he would need.  He jammed on his beloved baseball cap (a red monstrosity that said "Bonn Rock Haus") and grabbed a couple of extra scripts, even though that was overkill.  The movie was very short and besides, everyone already knew the story.  It was a basic Western: bandits invade, sheriff stops them, wins the girl's heart and rides off into the sunset. 

But there was a catch.  Guns had been banned in the town, so the sheriff and citizens were going to frighten the bandits away by pretending their town was haunted.  Kurt stuffed the scripts into his bag and shlepped it out into the hall, where he was met by Jubilee.  She was panting.  Amara went running by with Rahne, each of them carrying a tackle box full of make-up.

"Kurt!" Jubilee said.

"Hang on," Kurt replied, stopping her with a hand.  "Amara!  Rahne!  Vere is zat stuff going?"

"Logan's truck!" Amara yelled, spinning around and running backwards for a second.  "Kitty's driving us out to the site!"

"Yeh'd better get a move-on there, Kurt!" Rahne called.  "We're leavin' in five minutes!"

"Be right zere!"  He turned back to Jubilee, who looked positively panicked.  "Vhat's up, Jubilee?"

"It's Bobby!  You have to come!" she said, dragging him along.  He barely kept his hat on his head.

Kitty materialized halfway through the wall with a big bag of supplies in one hand and car keys in the other.  She watched Jubilee drag Kurt off.  Puzzled, she stepped into the hall proper and followed them. 

~ X ~
Jubilee finally halted.  Kurt dropped his big bag on the floor and stared curiously at the door to the boy's bathroom. 

"Bobby's been in there since we got back from school, GROANING, and he hasn't come out.  I'm getting worried!"

"Maybe it's jast nerves?" Kurt asked.  He was stalling.  The last thing he wanted to do was go into the bathroom and possibly see another guy with his pants down sitting on the john.  And he was pretty sure what request was coming next.

"Could you please go in there and check on him?"

He sighed.  "Okay, okay.  Shoo for a second, ja?"

She walked down the hall and met Kitty.  Kurt screwed up his courage and entered the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.  Jubilee explained what she knew to Kitty while they waited.  Finally Kurt shut the door behind him and came over, his face contorted in frustration.

"Well, what happened?" Jubilee asked.  "Is he alright?"

"Nein, he isn't alright," Kurt snapped.  "He's holding his stomach, he srew up everyvere, ant all I can get out of him is…"  He held his stomach.  "Ooooh!  Bad pudding!"  He straightened up.  "Vhat za hell is zat all about?"

Jubilee looked alarmed, but Kitty's eyes went wide as saucers.

"Oh hell," she muttered, turning around.  "He didn't!  He couldn't have!"  She dropped her bags and ran for the kitchen, leaving Jubilee baffled and Kurt a cross between baffled and fuming.

A minute later she was back, looking utterly furious.  "That retard ate my science project!!!" she screamed.  "No wonder he's sick!"

Jubilee was still confused.  "Science project?"

"It was an experiment to see if I could grow mold on pudding.  I kept it in the cupboard for like, a week, and I was getting results.  I like…" she huffed in irritation.  "I put a freakin' sign on the thing!  And now I can't find it anywhere!"

"Oh great!" Jubilee wailed.  "My leading man is down for the count!"

"That is like, so totally beside the point it isn't even funny, Jubilee.  Thanks to Ice-Boy, all my work is history!"

"You care about science more than Bobby?!" Jubilee yelled.

"No, I care about MOLD more than Bobby!" Kitty snapped.

"STOP!" Kurt hollered.  They did.  He took a deep breath and looked at his watch.  There was a buzzing of voices by the front door and horns honking.  They had to head to the set.  He ran his fingers through his hair and cursed in German.  "Keety, ve haff to fix ziss.  Now."

Kitty was still pissed off about her pudding.  She fixed Kurt with a 'you're a dead man' stare and said, "Whaddaya mean 'vee,' vhite man?"

Kurt glared at her, arms akimbo.  A few awkward seconds under his withering gaze and she folded like a collapsible card table.

"Sorry.  Okay, Jubilee, you tell the professor what happened and ask him to stay here with Bobby.  He doesn't have to be on set right now, right Kurt?"

"Right.  Ve'll film his bit tomorrow."

"And you can come with us," Kitty finished.

But Jubilee was shaking her head.  "No way."

"What?"

"No way.  Bobby and I have chemistry.  I mean, honestly!  Who's going to replace him that would possibly be good enough to work with me?  If he's not doing it, I'm not doing it."

Kitty went bug-eyed at this display of arrogance and obstinacy.  She looked at Kurt, expecting to see him in a very pale shade of blue, the color he turned when he was extremely angry or upset.  Perhaps there would be a throbbing vein in his forehead.  Instead, he was the picture of calm.

"Wow.  Too bad.  Okay, then you stay here viss Bobby.  Ve vill find somebody else to fill za roles.  Come on, Keety."

In one smooth motion, he shouldered his bag with one hand and took Kitty's hand with the other.  They both walked down the hall, Kitty in shock, leaving Jubilee standing in front of the bathroom door.

"Um, Kurt?"

"Ja?"

"How are we 'fixing' this, again?"

Kurt sighed.  "I don't know.  I'll figure it out."

Just as they hit the entrance hall, Jubilee's voice echoed back at them. 

"Hang on, Bobby, I'm coming!"

~ X ~

Kurt bounced around in the back of the pick-up next to Amara, Rahne and lots of make-up.  He was getting really nervous.  They were about fifteen minutes away from the set, he was down two leads, and as yet he had no back-ups.  This was not good.  Fortunately, the first few shots he had to get were establishing shots of "Sandy Gulch," with all of its citizens, and the big scene where the bandits come busting in.  That would take a while and give him some time to think. 

Kitty drove at a decent (but safe) clip and got them there all too soon.  The gravel and sand stuff for the "desert ground" had been delivered and spread early Monday morning.  Kurt had supervised this.  He hopped out with the girls, who squealed at the sight of their soon-to-be town.  By 4:30, the set was ready and everybody who was heading on-screen was in make-up or getting into their costumes.  Kurt was busy in the saloon.  Jean swished by in a long skirt, boots, a loose blouse held in place with a vest and a cowboy hat, and began to set up some lights.  She winked at Kurt.

"You look beautiful, Jean."

"Why thank you!" she said.  "Hey Scott, are you ready?"

"Yeah." 

Scott wandered in through the saloon doors and approached the director.  Even though he looked a little depressed, he cut a mighty fine figure in his jeans, boots, shirt, vest, and cowboy hat.  He'd even put on spurs. 

"Yee ha," Jean said, a bit of a sultry growl in her voice. 

Kurt approved, too.  "Awooo!  Looking sharp, Scott!"

"Whoopee.  I said I didn't want to be on camera!"  He crossed his arms as if he thought the whole idea was unclean.

"Too bad.  You'll look great," Kurt replied, slapping his friend on the back.  "Go ahead, Jean, tell him!"

"He already knows he's hot," she said, brushing some hair out of her face.  "He's just fishing for compliments!"

"Damn mind readers," Scott said with a smirk. 

"By za vay, Scott, I need to talk to you.  Jean, could you give us a second?"

"Sure."  She wandered away to help Amara with some make-up stuff.

Kurt motioned him over to a rickety table, and they sat down.  He looked at Scott seriously, and square in the eye.

"Kurt, what's up?"

"I need a favor from you," he said, and began to dig around in his pocket.  "Because is seems zat ve ah short a sheriff."

Scott stared.  "Short a sheriff?  What?  What the hell happened to 'the magnificent Bobby?'"

"Bobby ate Keety's science project pudding ant is barfing all over za place.  He can't perform."

Scott took this in.  "Jeez.  Well, I know this probably a cruel thing to say, but the guy was lousy.  Maybe it's for the best.  What's the favor you need?"

Kurt held up a gleaming silver star.  There was a slight pause before Scott figured it out.

"Oh, no.  Oh, HELL no.  Forget it.  I'm not an actor, Kurt.  That scene with Rogue last year proved it."

"Please, Scott!  You know in your heart you can do it.  Ant you know za script better zan anybody else." 

They looked at each other, one harried, the other looking like a caught fish. 

"Bitte."

The stand-off dragged on until almost forever.  But in the end, Scott swiped the star out of his friend's furry hand and pinned it on his vest.  Kurt smiled.

"I owe you."

"Aw, you don't owe me.  What are friends for, right?" 

~ X ~

Kurt spent some time getting establishing shots of the "town" (including The Striped Tabby and all the other little signs).  Finally everyone was ready.  The Townsfolk (Jean, Scott, Amara, Rahne, Kitty, a bucketful of Jamies in different disguises, Sam and Evan) got into their places on the main drag.  The Bandits (Roberto, two Jamies and Ray), with Logan as their leader, were hanging around.  Rogue, who had outright refused to be on camera, was dressed in her usual black and holding a boom mike (a microphone on a long pole, for the uninitiated) over one shoulder.

"Okay!" Kurt yelled, hopping up on a box.  "Hello, everybody!  Ve ah going to shoot ze opening seekvence.  Za big bad bandits ah invading, okay?  Places, people!  Act natural!"

Rogue stood up on a big box near Kurt and held out the boom mike out over the "town square," but out of range of the camera.  Logan and the Bandits made their way to the far edge of the set to watch a small monitor, its camera trained on Kurt for their signal to enter.

"Okay, everybody know the plan?" Logan asked.  "Soon as his hand twirls, we come rushing around the back corners and charge down the middle yelling."

Ray, Roberto and two Jamies nodded at him.  One Jamie drew his gun inexpertly and grinned.  Logan rolled his eyes. 

"All right, townsfolk, be ready to move!" Kurt yelled, starting his digital camera (set up on a tripod) rolling.  "In sree, two, one … action!"

He looked through the lens and was quite dismayed.  The townsfolk moved, all right, but nobody had a clue where they were going.  Most of them were too busy waving at the camera and making faces to look in front of them.  There were several collisions.  Kurt watched this in horror.  After about ten agonizing seconds of people smashing into each other (a few Jamies improvised a square dance) and feigning conversation, he started waving his arms and yelling in an attempt to stop everyone from moving and talking …

and accidentally cued the Bandits.

Logan went roaring in with Roberto, Ray, and the two Jamies behind him, firing off his prop gun and yelling "darn horn tootin'" and other Southwestern BS at the bewildered "citizens," who acted on impulse and scattered.  Kitty screamed and quite sensibly ran into the saloon.  Scott and Rahne dashed off to the right, in between two buildings.  Jean zipped past camera to the left, taking Sam and few Jamies along.  And Evan (dressed as a blacksmith) panicked and tried to run through a painted "door" on one of the canvases.  He smashed into the fabric and fell over, a bit dazed.  Kurt winced.

The bandits were standing around waiting for Logan to make his first big "speech."  He opened his mouth and…

"I'm okay!  I'm okay!" Evan yelled, distracting everybody.  Clearly stunned from the collision, he charged the canvas again.

-Whonk! -

- Shhhhk! -

"Whoa!"

- Thud -

Needless to say, he left a bit of a hole --- right on the door to the Bank.  Amara shrieked.  Rahne gasped.

"Son of a bitch!" Kurt muttered then yelled, "CUT!"  He hit 'stop.'

After Amara and Rahne temporarily fixed the hole Evan made, the whole cast regrouped and tried again.  And again.  And again.  After six takes of crappy acting and people smashing into each other, Kurt was pulling his hair out.  He called it quits and decided to get a close-up on Logan saying his line.  Logan, to his credit, did a damn good job.  It wasn't hard to yell, "Citizens of Sandy Gulch, we've come for whatever you've got!  Yeee HAW!" and fire a gun, but he did both without screwing up, so Kurt was relieved.

During a quick break, Kurt made another casting change.  Most of the "actors" were lazing in the shade of Ororo and Hank's tent and drinking water.  None of them had any clue that they now had a brand-new sheriff. 

And in a few minutes, if he could be persuasive enough, they'd have a new Miss Tina.  Kurt was inside the saloon, setting up his camera and getting a nice shot of the real glass window that looked out onto the "town."  Squinting into the eyepiece, he said, "A little to the left!"  Jean was positioning a light.  Kitty walked up to him.  She was carrying Jubilee's costume over her shoulder: a pink dress with a long flouncy skirt and a laced corset top.

"Hey Kurt?" she asked.

He turned to her.  "Yeah?  Oh, za dress!  Keety, I'm glad you haff it.  Can you come viss me for a second?  I need to ask you somesing.  Tanks!"

Kitty was too startled by the barrage of speech to protest and let him tug her out of the saloon.  They went around behind the set, where they had some privacy, and skidded to a stop in the grass.

"Whoa!  Kurt, what's this all about?"

"Ve haff a new sheriff," he said.

"Who?"

"Scott."

"Oh, thank God.  He'll be great.  As opposed to Bobby the Boob."

Kurt smiled.  "Yes, he vill.  Keety, vhen you did zat 'just for fun' audition for me… you vere great, too.  I vant you to play Miss Tina."

It was as though time had stopped for a moment.  When reality came rushing back at Kitty, she had to shake her head to clear it.  "What?  Me?  Kurt, that's like, nuts!  No!"

Kurt was stunned.  "No?  Vhy not?  I sought you vanted to play Miss Tina!"

"Yah, I did, but like, I dunno.  I'm not really an actress.  I mean, I proofread the script, and it was fun, and I helped with the sets, and that was fun, but like … I dunno.  I don't know if I could handle that much pressure.  I mean, what if I screw up and like, mess up your movie?  That would totally suck!"

Kurt, exhausted from the heat and the miserable hour of shooting, looked at her for a second and chuckled.  That became a giggle and worked its way into a deep belly-laugh that got Kitty laughing too, for no apparent reason.  Finally, he got himself under control. 

"Oh, Keety.  You're so funny.  Everybody else has messed up ziss movie so badly zat you could speak Chinese ze entire time and it vouldn't make a difference!  Trust me, fraulein, you have nussing to fear.  Okay?  Besides, you vill be great.  I can feel it."

A small smile.  "Really?"

"Really.  Now, ve need to film your first scene viss Scott," he said gently.  "Go primp, Kätchen.  You're on in fifteen."

Kitty hugged him and then pulled back.  "You make me so totally … happy.  Thanks."  She went to get ready.

"To make you happy, I vould do anysing," he murmured.

~ X ~

The rest of the day passed quickly.  They got most of the Sheriff/Miss Tina scenes taken care of with little trouble, thanks in part to two people who knew their lines, and attempted the "ride off into the sunset" bit just as sun set.  Kurt wasn't sure how it had turned out.  He would have to review the tapes when they got home. 

"Okay everybody, great job!" he said, as they all packed up. 

With the exception of the "Welcome to Stupidville" opening scene, things weren't looking that bad.  Kurt still had to film the moment the sheriff entered the saloon after first "doing battle" with the Bandits, because he hadn't caught that with Scott.  That entrance bled right into the first scene, which explained why guns were banned in Sandy Gulch.  He also needed to film the final scene with the sheriff and the citizens getting rid of the bandits.  This was sure to involve lots of talcum powder and people making wailing noises.  And finally, he needed the professor to do his narration and tie everything together.

So that night, he settled down at his computer to begin sifting through takes.  He started putting together a small title sequence. 

He was still typing at 3 am.

~ X ~

The next morning at six, Kurt stumbled into the kitchen. He wore nothing but boxers, floppy socks and deodorant (the one saving grace).  Cricking his neck, he walked straight to the coffee machine and poured himself a mug, ignoring the fact that this was Logan's personal coffee maker and he wasn't supposed to get anywhere near it.  He wasn't even supposed to be having coffee, but sleep had abandoned him last night, he was looking at another long day, and he just didn't give a damn anymore.  He absently pulled at the hair on his fuzzy chest and some of it came off in his hand.

"Vunderbar," he muttered caustically.

"Kurt?"

He turned around to see Kitty standing in the doorway in her jammies, rubbing some sleep out of her big brown eyes.

"Like, what the heck are you doing in here?"

He sighed and took a slurp of coffee.  "Trying to vake up."

She walked over and looked at him closely, taking in the bags under his eyes.  "Kurt, that's like, so bullshit.  You didn't sleep at all last night."  She brushed his shoulder and some blue stuff went flying.  "Oh, you poor baby!  You're shedding!"

Kitty knew Kurt, and Kitty knew the one thing that made Kurt shed: extreme stress.

"Keety?"

"Hm?"

"Hold me."

She did.  He put down his coffee cup and returned the hug.  The early morning light caught the tips of Kitty's shoulders and Kurt rested his cheek against her neck.

~ X ~

"Ohhh."

Bobby Drake groaned again and opened his eyes.  A few blinks and it was clear he was in the infirmary, although he couldn't recall how he'd gotten there.  The last thing he remembered was Kurt leaning over him in the bathroom.  After that, it was all a blank.  He turned his head and saw Jubes dozing in a chair.  The early morning light seeped in through the windows.  Her long black hair shimmered like obsidian.  It struck Bobby suddenly that she was incredibly beautiful.  Had she been here with him all night?  He wondered if perhaps he'd been given drugs, because he'd never looked at Jubilee this way.

He cleared his throat.  "Jubes?"  The word was raspy.  His throat was terribly sore.

Jubilee took in a big sniff of air through her nose and opened her eyes.  She looked at the bed, where Bobby was smiling at her.

"Bobby?"

"Hey."

"Hey!" she said, smiling.  "How do you feel?"

"Great."

"You're so full of it.  Seriously, are you better?"

"A little," he lied.  "Hey, Jubes?  I gotta know.  Am I still the sheriff?"

Jubilee bit her lip.  The other kids had come back from the set with the news that Scott and Kitty were the leads and that everything was humming along.

"Well, let me put it this way.  You'll always be my sheriff."

~ X ~

That day at school, tensions were mounting.  Kurt had no homework done.  His teachers (save Ms. Enkler) gave him funny looks.  Fortunately nobody gave him any funny sniffs --- Kitty had convinced him to take a shower before leaving that morning.  Bobby wasn't even at school.  He was still being treated in the infirmary for food poisoning.  Kitty had managed to grow some mighty powerful stuff on that pudding, as the professor had figured out from a blood test. 

Around the lunch table, most of the kids from the Institute were showing the effects of yesterday's filming.  Jubilee was offering her services in make-up and getting along much better with Rahne and Amara, although both of the girls were still getting over their friend's little power trip.  Scott was a nervous wreck, terrified about how his performance would look on film.  Jean was snoring on his shoulder.  Rogue was reading a book and fanning herself.  She'd foolishly worn her most modest all-black ensemble and the weather had gotten very hot.  Kurt was stuck in the lunch line waiting glumly for his chicken surprise.  Kitty was leaning over a salad and looking really out of it.

And Lance was mad.

He strode over to the X-table, stood behind Kitty and cleared his throat loudly.  She turned around.

"Oh hey, Lance, what's up?"

"Grab your lunch and come with me, Pretty Kitty.  We have to talk."

"Now?  But Lance, I'm trying to eat!"

"Come ON!" he said, and grabbed her arm.

She sighed and snagged her food with her free hand.  "Lance, stop yanking me!  Jeez!"  But she let herself get dragged away.

He got her alone under a tree.

"So are you done with the damn film yet?"

Kitty stuffed some salad in her mouth and glared at him.  "What?"

"Well, you wasted your weekend helping that blue freak.  I wanna know if I can take you out tonight, or what."

Kitty blinked at him.  "Freak?  Wha---?"  She snorted in disgust.  "Lance, I swear, sometimes you can be like, such an arrogant bastard.  And no, you can't take me out tonight.  We have to like, finish filming."

Lance looked vaguely disappointed.  "Where are you filming?"

"Pssh!  Like it's any of your business.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have like, ten minutes to finish my lunch."

She stalked away back to the table, shoving some more lettuce into her mouth.  Lance looked after her thoughtfully.

~ You want part four?  Why … here it is! ~