"…part and part and inch my inch
you'll have your mile when its through
incinerate what's left of this
and torch the part of me that's you…"
--Something Corporate

Marissa steps back inside with Summer as Ryan lies down on the bed. Seth is watching him closely.

"What?" Ryan mutters, looking at him with dazed eyes.

"You look awful, man," Seth confesses. "I can't believe I didn't notice…"

"You checking me out on a regular basis?" Ryan replies.

"Should I be worried?" Marissa teases, shoving Seth playfully.

"Have a seat, Summer. Welcome to the clubhouse," Ryan mutters as he puts his arm over his face. In minutes, he's asleep.

"Chino's really tired," Summer says as she takes a seat on Seth's bed. "Luke said he was in the hospital…"

"He's better now," Seth replies.

"He wore himself out, at least that's what Kirsten says," Marissa remarks. "I'm going to go call my Dad and see if I can stay over…"

Summer remains on the couch as Marissa steps outside to call her dad. Seth gets up from Ryan's bed and goes to sit beside her.

"I'm worried about him," Seth tells Summer, glancing at Ryan.

"He's tough. He seems okay. He seems more worried about you than himself," Summer replies.

"He is. He's the only reason I made it these last few days. I…I'm really messed up, Summer," Seth whispers.

She takes his hand. "It's okay. You lost Anna. You're allowed to be messed up."

Seth is silent but he doesn't pull his hand away.

"She meant a lot to you, Seth…" Summer starts.

"She told me she loved me. She loved me, Summer and I didn't even know…" Seth says quietly.

"I'm sure she knew, Seth. I'm sure she knew…"

"I…I tried to do the right thing…I couldn't choose and it wasn't fair…" Seth mutters.

"Seth. It's too late," Summer begins but gasps, seeing Seth's stricken face. "Honey, I'm sorry…"

"No…you're right…" Seth whispers. "I'm too late…" He pulls away.

"Seth, you did the right thing, you did the only thing you could do and stay true to yourself…" Summer starts.

"Too late…" Seth murmurs, sliding off the couch and sitting on the carpet. His brown eyes are distant.

"Seth, baby…" Summer tries to get him to look at her but Seth is inconsolable. She glances around but Marissa hasn't returned and Ryan is sleeping soundly. "Seth, please…"

"What is it?" Ryan mumbles from the bed.

"Seth's upset…" Summer says and Ryan sits up immediately.

"Yeah?" Ryan asks, his eyes glazed with sleep. "Where is he?"

Summer motions to the floor beside her and Ryan slowly makes his way from the bed to Seth's side.

"Seth. Hey, kid," Ryan says calmly, sitting down beside him.

Seth doesn't acknowledge him immediately, but tilts his head as if listening.

"Dude. Can you look at me?" Ryan asks quietly.

Seth glances at Ryan, dazed. "Yeah?"

"You okay?" Ryan asks gently.

"Yeah…aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" Seth asks, coming out of his daze.

"Yeah. You okay here?" Ryan asks.

Seth glances up and recognizes Summer's concerned face. "Yeah. Sorry, man…"

"No problem…" Ryan replies.

"You want us to leave you alone so you can sleep?"

"Nah…" Ryan says, closing his eyes, drowsy. "I can sleep…" He falls asleep with his head leaning against the couch where he is sitting on the carpet.

"Seth, I'll go…" Summer says suddenly.

'I don't want you to go…I mean…God, this is hard…it's just…" Seth stands up.

"It's too soon, Seth. I'm sorry."

"Me, too," Seth sighs. "I'm sorry, I mean."

"I'll call you, Seth. Maybe we can talk or something," Summer says, going to the door. "Take care of your brother. Take care of yourself. I'll be around."

*****

Seth wakes Ryan up later that night from a deep sleep. Marissa's father wanted her to stay at home for one night. Anna's death had affected the parents of Newport and they wanted their children within their sight for once.

"Ryan?"

Ryan sits up with a jolt, instantly alert. "Yeah? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, are you sleeping?" Seth whispers.

Ryan sighs and leans back in bed. "Nah, man. What's up?"

"Do you think Anna's in heaven?" Seth asks. Ryan can't see him in the darkened pool house, he can only hear his voice.

"Um…" Ryan starts.

"I mean, where is she? Where do you think she went?"

"I don't know, Seth. I'm sure it's a better place…it has to be…" Ryan mutters.

Seth doesn't respond.

"Seth, I don't know. I don't know if I believe in heaven or hell or any of that…but I believe that she's at peace now…and that's enough…she'll never be in pain again, you know?" Ryan says slowly.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess so," Seth says.

"Seth. This will get easier, man."

"I don't want to forget her."

"She will never be forgotten, Seth. I know you better than that. But she wouldn't want you grieving for her forever…she wasn't like that," Ryan says.

Seth is silent. Ryan starts to get up to go to him.

"I'm okay, man. You can go back to sleep. Thanks," Seth says.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

*****

FIN