Chapter Nine: Dark Descent
Sixth-year. The year Draco knew had been his sister's worst. He knew the next entries would be the hardest to read, because they would tell of Lucia's complete plummet into darkness.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I can't believe I used to love this home! I mean, what was I thinking? It is the most boring place, filled to the brim with stupid house-elves that quack at the sight of me, and dust old books, all of which I've already read by this point!
At least I don't have to deal with Father. I haven't seen him or Draco all summer. I bet I would hardly recognize ferret-boy, it's been so long since I saw him. I've seen Mother a few times, not that she really matters in my life. She never has, except for that one summer. But really, there is no mother-daughter bond at all. I'm not sure if she's even capable of it.
But I didn't take you out just to complain about things. Really, I didn't. I have much more interesting news for you.
Bartleby sent me an owl yesterday. He's this year's Head Boy. I have to admit, I'm impressed. He managed to bring his marks up a lot. When I told him he needed to do that if he wanted me, there were at least three boys with higher marks in his year. I'm glad I don't have that trouble. I'm practically guaranteed to be Head Girl next year. Though, with my luck, Weasley will be Head Boy.
I'll deal with that next year though. Right now, I have to think about Bartleby. The biggest player in all of Hogwarts. I refuse to be just another slut that falls into bed with him. I have to think about how to keep this relationship going. The Malfoy name will help, but I'll need more than that. Of course, I have to use my body. That's what women have always had to do, to keep men around. Why should I be any different? But, as I said before, I will not be another of his whores.
Lucia
*~*~*
(On a piece of parchment)
Here's a new poem. I don't know why I wrote it, it just seemed right.
Where once was light Now darkness falls Where once was love Love is no more Don't say goodbye Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry Are falling rain For all the lies you told us The hurt, the blame And we will weep to be so alone We are lost, we can never go home
So in the end, I'll be what I will be No loyal friend was ever there for me
These tears we cry, have come too late Take back the lies, the hurt, the blame And we will weep, when we face the end alone We are lost, we can never go home.
I don't know what it means, do you diary? I wrote it in a trance almost. I can hardly remember writing a single word of it, I almost wrote itself. And I don't know why, I guess it's how part of me feels.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Well, back at Hogwarts once again. And glued to the new Head Boy's side. Bartleby's been parading me around like some sort of prize. Well, maybe I am a prize. I know Narcissa is. Like mother, like daughter? Beautiful and from a powerful family. That's all the requirements of a good wife.
WIFE! That's a little long-term, don't you think? A bit scary. I don't think I would like to be married to Bartleby. I really don't. But it would be better than marring someone from a weak family, like say the Weasleys. I shudder at the thought. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Marriage is all about politics, so a Malfoy-Jacobi union might not be so bad.
But that's so far in the future, I don't even need to consider it now.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Well, today my relationship with Bartleby took another step. Or at least, we were going to until that idiot Gryffindor Head Girl walked in on us.
Bartleby had been trying to go further, but I hadn't been letting him. But, since it is Christmas and all, I decided to let him have some fun. It didn't really matter to me. I know I was being a tease, but it was the only way to make sure he stayed with me, instead of using me up and tossing me away like almost every other girl in the school. Okay, maybe that's being a bit overdramatic. At least most of the girls in his year. Even Ariel, the Head Girl. Which means she's out for vengeance. I expect soon all the school will be talking about me. Hey, it might even get Father's attention. Then again, he'd most likely be proud that I'm whoring myself to the Jacobi heir.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
This was such a HORRIBLE day!!!
Firstly, this morning Bartleby and I had a huge fight. I have so far refused to f*** him, and he's beginning to get upset. He actually HIT me!!! I have a bruise on my arm from it, which luckily my robes cover up. He reminds me so much of my father at times like that. The abuse I've seen my mother go through! But, that's a woman's lot in life. To be used and abused by a man. And controlled. I try to keep some control over the relationship, but it's almost impossible.
When, then after fixing myself up from the fight, I was late for Transfiguration. It figures that I would have a double class with that b**** McGonagall first thing, instead of something good like Potions. Anyways, I got twenty points off for being late, and throughout the class ended up losing Slytherin twenty more. And to make things worse, I had to put up with the Weasel's superior smirk the whole time.
Merlin, sometimes I wish I could just use an Unforgivable on him.
The high point of the day came in Potions class. We were chopping mandrake, and I accidentally cut my finger. Snape used a quick healing charm, and told me to go to the Hospital Wing to have the scar it left removed. But I don't think I will. I like the scar. A band of silver along my finger. And the pain wasn't so bad. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. It reminds me that I can still feel.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Well, I've made up with Bartleby, by letting him go to what the juvenile boys in our house refer to as "third base". He seemed to enjoy it, though I didn't. As soon as he was done, I went to the Prefect's bathroom and took a very long, very hot bath.
After my bath, I decided to try something. I took at my dagger - the one Father sent me for my 16th birthday - and made a small cut on my arm. Not very deep or very long. Just a little C-cut. It immediately turned red with blood, and was deliciously painful. I used the same spell as Snape did to heal it up, leaving a beautiful silver C on my arm. I made another C on my other arm, and did the same thing.
When I got back to my room, I immediately started looking for those long, black gloves I bought a few years ago. I took them out, and found that they cover perfectly the scars, as well as the rest of my lower arm. Which leaves me with many possibilities.
Lucia
*~*~*
Draco remembered those gloves. He had always loved them, there were so long and shiny black. He had always begged Lucia to let him where them. Now the memory made him sick.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Bartleby found out what I did to my arms today, and found it very sexy. Then he took out his own knife, and cut his name into my left arm. The pain was so perfect, and now he's marked me as his. And then, I finally gave him everything he wanted.
Sex wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, or hoped it would be. It wasn't pleasant either though.
Anyways, graduation is coming up, and I have to make sure my marks are the highest, so I'll be Head Girl next year. But, as Bartleby said, I'll always know who I belong too. He also said that he's going to talk to our Fathers about marriage. Now, I don't think I'd mind being his wife. The prestige would be great. Though it really doesn't matter what I think at all.
Lucia
*~*~*
(On a piece of parchment)
Here's another poem, that I began writing a while ago. Again, I'm not exactly sure what it means. Maybe you can help?
Bleak desolation
In a beam of Sun
Scraping as I crawl (Your heart can't hear me)
Tearing bruising fall (Your hands can't hear me)
Thirsting raging blind (Your eyes can't hear me)
Racing against time (Your arms can't hear me)
Like an angel you'll come
In a dream, precious one
Make me beautifully numb
Desperate panicked calls (The wind can't hear me)
Muffled weak and small (The sand can't hear me)
Pleading groping hands (The truth can't hear me)
Bleeding in the sand (Your heart can't hear me)
Razor fingers cling (The wind can't hear me)
Piercing demons sing (The sand can't hear me)
Twisting hollow Hell (The truth can't hear me)
Burning blisters swell (Your heart can't hear me)
Sharp cut aching breath (Your arms can't hear me)
Choking scent of death (Your hands can't hear me)
Grueling jaw-bone grind (Your eyes can't hear me)
Cursed by my own mind (Your heart can't hear me)
*~*~*
Draco looked over the two poems, lying beside him on the floor. He wondered how Lucia could not see the desperate cry for help and love in them?
*~*~*
(A/N Well, not much to say about that. We're nearing the end of this story, and since school is almost over, expect that end to come soon.
Lucia's two poems come from "Gollum's Song", from the movie The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, and from the Delerium song "Duende", on the album Karma.
Thanks again to all by wonderful reviewers:
Jeanne: I'm glad you liked the two-chapter treat. Slytherins are superior, or at least they like to think they are. Glad you like it.
Serpena: I love the word excellent. Thanks for using it. I hope to begin updating faster, as school is coming to a close.
Opal Star: More excitement is on the way. HE HE HE!!! As is said before, I will hopefully be updating lots in the near future.
Antarian Princess: First of all, I hope you don't mind me making your name two words. It makes my computer happier. Secondly, Emily Bronte totally rocks. I had to do a project on Wuthering Heights last semester, and loved it. I must read it again sometime, along with her poems. I got the poem from the last chapter from a biography of her, titled A Chainless Soul, which I totally recommend. Also, I know this story is heartbreaking. I'm on the verge of bawling, and I wrote the thing!!!
Darcel: Glad you understand why I'm not telling. But you are on the right track, I'll say that much.
Aurelia: I don't want her to die either! I really, REALLY don't. But she has too. She would mess up the Harry Potter world if she was alive during any of the books. But trust me, it will be very angsty and very deep, like a good Malfoy death should be (I bet Lucius will die in the books, or at very least go to Azkaban.)
Atari420: Yeah, kick ass!!! Always doing my best to add more.
Anyways, that's about all, except YEAH, HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX IS ALMOST OUT!!!!!)
Sixth-year. The year Draco knew had been his sister's worst. He knew the next entries would be the hardest to read, because they would tell of Lucia's complete plummet into darkness.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I can't believe I used to love this home! I mean, what was I thinking? It is the most boring place, filled to the brim with stupid house-elves that quack at the sight of me, and dust old books, all of which I've already read by this point!
At least I don't have to deal with Father. I haven't seen him or Draco all summer. I bet I would hardly recognize ferret-boy, it's been so long since I saw him. I've seen Mother a few times, not that she really matters in my life. She never has, except for that one summer. But really, there is no mother-daughter bond at all. I'm not sure if she's even capable of it.
But I didn't take you out just to complain about things. Really, I didn't. I have much more interesting news for you.
Bartleby sent me an owl yesterday. He's this year's Head Boy. I have to admit, I'm impressed. He managed to bring his marks up a lot. When I told him he needed to do that if he wanted me, there were at least three boys with higher marks in his year. I'm glad I don't have that trouble. I'm practically guaranteed to be Head Girl next year. Though, with my luck, Weasley will be Head Boy.
I'll deal with that next year though. Right now, I have to think about Bartleby. The biggest player in all of Hogwarts. I refuse to be just another slut that falls into bed with him. I have to think about how to keep this relationship going. The Malfoy name will help, but I'll need more than that. Of course, I have to use my body. That's what women have always had to do, to keep men around. Why should I be any different? But, as I said before, I will not be another of his whores.
Lucia
*~*~*
(On a piece of parchment)
Here's a new poem. I don't know why I wrote it, it just seemed right.
Where once was light Now darkness falls Where once was love Love is no more Don't say goodbye Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry Are falling rain For all the lies you told us The hurt, the blame And we will weep to be so alone We are lost, we can never go home
So in the end, I'll be what I will be No loyal friend was ever there for me
These tears we cry, have come too late Take back the lies, the hurt, the blame And we will weep, when we face the end alone We are lost, we can never go home.
I don't know what it means, do you diary? I wrote it in a trance almost. I can hardly remember writing a single word of it, I almost wrote itself. And I don't know why, I guess it's how part of me feels.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Well, back at Hogwarts once again. And glued to the new Head Boy's side. Bartleby's been parading me around like some sort of prize. Well, maybe I am a prize. I know Narcissa is. Like mother, like daughter? Beautiful and from a powerful family. That's all the requirements of a good wife.
WIFE! That's a little long-term, don't you think? A bit scary. I don't think I would like to be married to Bartleby. I really don't. But it would be better than marring someone from a weak family, like say the Weasleys. I shudder at the thought. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Marriage is all about politics, so a Malfoy-Jacobi union might not be so bad.
But that's so far in the future, I don't even need to consider it now.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Well, today my relationship with Bartleby took another step. Or at least, we were going to until that idiot Gryffindor Head Girl walked in on us.
Bartleby had been trying to go further, but I hadn't been letting him. But, since it is Christmas and all, I decided to let him have some fun. It didn't really matter to me. I know I was being a tease, but it was the only way to make sure he stayed with me, instead of using me up and tossing me away like almost every other girl in the school. Okay, maybe that's being a bit overdramatic. At least most of the girls in his year. Even Ariel, the Head Girl. Which means she's out for vengeance. I expect soon all the school will be talking about me. Hey, it might even get Father's attention. Then again, he'd most likely be proud that I'm whoring myself to the Jacobi heir.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
This was such a HORRIBLE day!!!
Firstly, this morning Bartleby and I had a huge fight. I have so far refused to f*** him, and he's beginning to get upset. He actually HIT me!!! I have a bruise on my arm from it, which luckily my robes cover up. He reminds me so much of my father at times like that. The abuse I've seen my mother go through! But, that's a woman's lot in life. To be used and abused by a man. And controlled. I try to keep some control over the relationship, but it's almost impossible.
When, then after fixing myself up from the fight, I was late for Transfiguration. It figures that I would have a double class with that b**** McGonagall first thing, instead of something good like Potions. Anyways, I got twenty points off for being late, and throughout the class ended up losing Slytherin twenty more. And to make things worse, I had to put up with the Weasel's superior smirk the whole time.
Merlin, sometimes I wish I could just use an Unforgivable on him.
The high point of the day came in Potions class. We were chopping mandrake, and I accidentally cut my finger. Snape used a quick healing charm, and told me to go to the Hospital Wing to have the scar it left removed. But I don't think I will. I like the scar. A band of silver along my finger. And the pain wasn't so bad. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. It reminds me that I can still feel.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Well, I've made up with Bartleby, by letting him go to what the juvenile boys in our house refer to as "third base". He seemed to enjoy it, though I didn't. As soon as he was done, I went to the Prefect's bathroom and took a very long, very hot bath.
After my bath, I decided to try something. I took at my dagger - the one Father sent me for my 16th birthday - and made a small cut on my arm. Not very deep or very long. Just a little C-cut. It immediately turned red with blood, and was deliciously painful. I used the same spell as Snape did to heal it up, leaving a beautiful silver C on my arm. I made another C on my other arm, and did the same thing.
When I got back to my room, I immediately started looking for those long, black gloves I bought a few years ago. I took them out, and found that they cover perfectly the scars, as well as the rest of my lower arm. Which leaves me with many possibilities.
Lucia
*~*~*
Draco remembered those gloves. He had always loved them, there were so long and shiny black. He had always begged Lucia to let him where them. Now the memory made him sick.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Bartleby found out what I did to my arms today, and found it very sexy. Then he took out his own knife, and cut his name into my left arm. The pain was so perfect, and now he's marked me as his. And then, I finally gave him everything he wanted.
Sex wasn't as painful as I thought it would be, or hoped it would be. It wasn't pleasant either though.
Anyways, graduation is coming up, and I have to make sure my marks are the highest, so I'll be Head Girl next year. But, as Bartleby said, I'll always know who I belong too. He also said that he's going to talk to our Fathers about marriage. Now, I don't think I'd mind being his wife. The prestige would be great. Though it really doesn't matter what I think at all.
Lucia
*~*~*
(On a piece of parchment)
Here's another poem, that I began writing a while ago. Again, I'm not exactly sure what it means. Maybe you can help?
Bleak desolation
In a beam of Sun
Scraping as I crawl (Your heart can't hear me)
Tearing bruising fall (Your hands can't hear me)
Thirsting raging blind (Your eyes can't hear me)
Racing against time (Your arms can't hear me)
Like an angel you'll come
In a dream, precious one
Make me beautifully numb
Desperate panicked calls (The wind can't hear me)
Muffled weak and small (The sand can't hear me)
Pleading groping hands (The truth can't hear me)
Bleeding in the sand (Your heart can't hear me)
Razor fingers cling (The wind can't hear me)
Piercing demons sing (The sand can't hear me)
Twisting hollow Hell (The truth can't hear me)
Burning blisters swell (Your heart can't hear me)
Sharp cut aching breath (Your arms can't hear me)
Choking scent of death (Your hands can't hear me)
Grueling jaw-bone grind (Your eyes can't hear me)
Cursed by my own mind (Your heart can't hear me)
*~*~*
Draco looked over the two poems, lying beside him on the floor. He wondered how Lucia could not see the desperate cry for help and love in them?
*~*~*
(A/N Well, not much to say about that. We're nearing the end of this story, and since school is almost over, expect that end to come soon.
Lucia's two poems come from "Gollum's Song", from the movie The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, and from the Delerium song "Duende", on the album Karma.
Thanks again to all by wonderful reviewers:
Jeanne: I'm glad you liked the two-chapter treat. Slytherins are superior, or at least they like to think they are. Glad you like it.
Serpena: I love the word excellent. Thanks for using it. I hope to begin updating faster, as school is coming to a close.
Opal Star: More excitement is on the way. HE HE HE!!! As is said before, I will hopefully be updating lots in the near future.
Antarian Princess: First of all, I hope you don't mind me making your name two words. It makes my computer happier. Secondly, Emily Bronte totally rocks. I had to do a project on Wuthering Heights last semester, and loved it. I must read it again sometime, along with her poems. I got the poem from the last chapter from a biography of her, titled A Chainless Soul, which I totally recommend. Also, I know this story is heartbreaking. I'm on the verge of bawling, and I wrote the thing!!!
Darcel: Glad you understand why I'm not telling. But you are on the right track, I'll say that much.
Aurelia: I don't want her to die either! I really, REALLY don't. But she has too. She would mess up the Harry Potter world if she was alive during any of the books. But trust me, it will be very angsty and very deep, like a good Malfoy death should be (I bet Lucius will die in the books, or at very least go to Azkaban.)
Atari420: Yeah, kick ass!!! Always doing my best to add more.
Anyways, that's about all, except YEAH, HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX IS ALMOST OUT!!!!!)
