Chapter Ten: The Light at the End of the Tunnel
(A/N In this chapter, I'm am going along with the typically accepted idea that the Head Boy and Head Girl share a Common Room. Though I do not believe there is proof of this, though I have been wrong before, though not often LOL, for the purpose of this story I will agree with it.)
Draco turned the page, moving towards the seventh year, towards the chapter of Lucia's life filled with the greatest hate, and the greatest love.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I sent a letter to Bartleby today. I just found out for certain that I will be Head Girl next year, surprise surprise. Sadly, my suspicions on the identity of the Head Boy have been confirmed. For the entire of next year, I will be forced to spend considerable amount of time with Weasley. Even worse, I have heard that another brother, Percy, will be attending Hogwarts this year. Will I never be free of those Weasels?
Anyways, as I said I wrote to Bartleby today. Father let my use his owl, Hades, as a reward for my appointment as Head Girl. Or so he said. More likely he wants to send me to the Jacobis as fast as possible after graduation, so he doesn't have to divert even the slightest bit of attention away from precious little Draco. He's eight years old now, so not really that little. And not really that precious, or so it would seem by the way Father treats him. As much as I despise my father, I know I had things easier with Lucius than Draco does, because nothing was ever expected of me. No expectations, or unattainable expectations, which is worse? I truly don't know. Neither gets any recognition for a job well done though.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I haven't heard back from Bartleby at all. I'm getting a little worried, though I don't show it. That would be weakness.
It's been a month since I sent my letter though. Tomorrow I return to Hogwarts. Then I'll make Loki tell me what is going on, even if I have to use all the hexes I know.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
DAMN HIM! DAMN BARTLEBY JACOBI TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I can't believe I let myself believe that Bartleby ever cared for me, or intended to marry me. I saw him use so many girls before, I was a fool to believe a word he said.
The day I got back, I knew something was wrong. I had suspicions before, because of the silence from my would-be intended. Then I saw people snickering behind my back. The worst was Weasley, who I now practically live with.
Finally it was too much, so I found Loki, and tortured the secret out of him. I didn't use any Unforgivables, but was close enough to be expelled without question if it was ever figured out. It won't be, of course.
So, after about 15 minutes he finally collapsed, and told me what had happened. Apparently, Bartleby spend his entire summer f***ing anyone and everyone he could. Loki knew of at least 20 girls!!!!!!!!!!
I hate him, I hate him so much. And I hate myself for putting myself in this position.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
My world is falling apart. Even Father has noticed, lowering himself enough to actually send me a howler, deriding me for my falling marks. At least I was in my room, but I think that Weasley heard. Oh well, what do I care about marks? There just random numbers.
My only refuge is the knife, and my poems. Silver lines almost every inch of my arm. Rage-filled stanzas cover parchment that before would be used taking detailed notes. I don't care anymore. I deserve the pain, letting myself be so used. So I run to the blade of my dagger, and the point of my pen.
I wish I were dead.
Lucia
*~*~*
(Written on parchment)
I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more, So much pain.
I lay dying,
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied? Tourniquet
My suicide
Below the poem, drawn roughly in ink, was a clearly recognizable hand, with a slash in the wrist gushing blood.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
This is great, just great!!! That damn Weasley has some nerve, sticking his ugly nose in my business! What right does he have, judging me? He has no concept of the hell of my life, a hell that he has helped create!!!!
This is what happened. I left my new poem, the one with the drawing at the bottom, in our Common Room, for Merlin knows what reason. It just slipped my mind.
So, after dinner when I came back to the Room, there was Weasley, staring in shock at the paper. He turned and looked at me, with horror- filled eyes. And then, his eyes dropped to my gloved arms, and for once he should that intelligence that McGonagall always raves about, the intelligence that earned him the position of Head Boy. He walked over to me, took me arm, and pulled the glove down, just far enough to see the scar- ravaged flesh. Then I pulled away from him, and we stared at each other wordlessly. Despite the silence, I could hear his condemnation, hear his mockery of me. So I walked away, came into my bedroom, and haven't left since.
He is disgusted at me, at what I have become. Well, let him be. He is no innocent in driving me to this end.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Everywhere I go, I can feel him watching me. Those weasel eyes bore into me. It is very distracting. Not that it matters. I don't care about this stupid school anymore, or its marks. I have achieved what I set out to do. I am Head Girl. Why should I work anymore, when I can gain nothing of it? Others work hard to get into higher schools, or to land the best jobs. I care nothing for this. It was never in my destiny to work, or become more skilled than a Hogwarts graduate. All I have to look forward in life is being an accessory to some high-ranking pureblood wizard, at his beck and call 24/7.
I don't like him watching me though.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Tonight was almost indescribable. I don't know what to make of it. But I'll try to put to paper the events of the last hour.
In Potions class today we were working with monkshood, which as everyone knows can be extremely toxic, unless used properly. Still, I had to thoroughly clean my dagger off. I was doing this in the bathroom Weasley and I share when he walked in. The moment he saw what I held in my hands, he ran over and pulled it away from me, cutting his hand in the process.
The idiot. He thought to protect me, and only ended up hurting himself. I don't need his protection! Anyways, I told him exactly what I thought of his actions, as he was leaving for the Hospital Wing. I yelled at him, calling him every insult I know, telling him to stay out of my life, because he knows nothing about me.
And do you know what he said? "That's because you won't let me." And with that, he was gone.
I tried to go to sleep, but couldn't get over what he said. And so I turned to you, dearest diary, my only true friend. The only one who will not judge me and the one who knows me best. And still, even rereading what I have written here, I don't know what to make of Weasley's words. I know them to be the truth. And I know that tonight the two of us have reached a new stage. I don't know what this stage is, but I know I will soon find out. And part of me can't wait.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Tonight was another interesting night. Bill came back from the Hospital Wing, and we talked. Merlin! I just called Weasley Bill!!! I know that is his given name, but I've never used it before, not by itself. What a change.
So, it was awkward at first, sitting in our Common Room, just staring at each other. Then we began asking each other questions, silly insignificant questions like what are favourite colours are (silver and black for me, red and orange for him), favourite seasons (he was shocked when I said winter), etc.
We talked for almost 2 hours, and came out of the discussion with a better understanding of each other. I'm not saying we're all of a sudden going to become best friends. But, we're no longer enemies.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Oh Merlin! I can't believe what happened barely ten minutes ago. Something that shakes me to the very core of my being.
The day started innocently enough, with a regular trip to Hogsmeade. After ensuring all the students got to the town safely - a responsibility I have as Head Girl - I went to get myself Cherry Blast, sitting in the darkest corner in the tavern. Snape had some things to attend to, so I was alone with my drink and my thoughts.
This solitude was spoiled by Bill (there I go again, calling him by his first name), when he came over. We talked again, testing out the limits of this new, almost-friendship we have. We talked and talked, over many, probably too many, drinks. Even though neither Cherry Blasts nor Butterbeer, which Bill was having, are alcoholic, they certainly do affect the drinker.
We returned home staggering, though we were luckily able to keep our balance around the professors and Dumbledore. With my behavior this year, I have almost lost the Head Girl position a few times. Being unable to walk around the headmaster would certainly cause that to happen.
We finally arrived at the Common Room, and I walked unsteadily towards my bedroom door. I wasn't able to make it, and Bill caught me. I looked up at him, his face so close to mine, his eyes staring into mine.
I don't know who made the first move. I think we both did. I leaned up, he leaned down, and our lips touched.
The kiss was so different from anything I experienced with that bastard Bartleby. It was simply yet so sweet. Short, yet perfect. But at the same time, terrifying. When it ended, I bolted out of his arms, and into the safety of my room.
What am I going to do now?
Lucia
PS I realize it is pointless to ask you. As much as I love you, diary dear, you are not very forthcoming with your advice.
*~*~*
Draco laughed suddenly reading Lucia's post-script, then froze in shock as the sound filled the room. He waited, still as a statue, for almost five minutes before returning in ease to his sister's words.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I'm avoiding him. I know it. He knows it. And I can see the hurt in his eyes, whenever our gazes chance to meet. But, I think it is for the best. How could we ever think to be friends? We are too different. And to be more than friends would be impossible. Father would never allow it, and I dare not defy him.
Yet, maybe I should, for I feel Bill's pain. I share it, because it's killing me inside to shut him out. I don't want to do it, I truly do not. But I think I have to.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I give up, it is too hard to deny that I want and need to be with Bill. But it has been two weeks since our kiss, and I'm afraid he will be too angry to forgive me. But I'm more afraid of not trying. So I wrote him this poem, leaving a piece of parchment with it written against his door, where he can't fail to find it.
How can you see into my eyes,
Like open doors?
Leading you down into my core,
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul,
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,
Until you find it there and lead it back home.
Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Bid my blood to run.
Before I come undone.
Save me from the nothing I've become.
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real.
I've been living a lie There's nothing inside.
Frozen inside without your touch,
Without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.
All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark,
But you were there in front of me.
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here There must be something more.
Bring me to life.
I hope to Merlin that Bill still wants to be with me.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I'm so sorry I haven't written in months. All my life, you have been a place for me to rant and rave against the world. But, I haven't needed you for so long it seems, because these last months have been pure happiness.
Bill forgave me, and I haven't left his arms since. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean. But I could spend my entire life wrapped in his embrace, and be just as happy as I am now. I haven't felt anything close to this since my father rejected me for the all-important male heir.
But now, I don't care about that. I have all I want in Bill. I have actual been living in his room for the last month, sleeping beside him. It is so different to be with someone who is gentle, someone who truly respects me, and who I truly respect. To love, and be loved in return.
Tomorrow is graduation. What will happen after I leave Hogwarts? I have no answers to that. All I know is that without Bill I would be lost.
Lucia
(A/N Ah, isn't that so adorable. Ripped of a line from Moulin Rouge, but I don't care because it fits so well. Now I am tearing up. It's so nice to see Lucia happy again, it seems like so long since she was.
This story is nearing its end. There are only two chapters left, and an epilogue. I will tell you all know, enjoy this happiness of Lucia's, for it won't last.
And, both poems come from Evanescence, a group that really affected this story. The first poem is from "Tourniquet", and the second, which I'm certain many of you recognized, is from "Bring Me to Life".
Ainsley Sloan: I REALLY like your review. It really is good for a writer's self-esteem. I also often find diary-fics dull, I couldn't even read the Diary of Anne Frank, and this is really one of my first times writing anything like this. Thank you so SO much for your lovely review, and I hope you like this new chapter, and that you will join the ever so great ranks of my return reviewers.
Opal Star: As always, thanks for the review. And I can't wait for OotP!!! (see below for more of my views on that)
Serpena: Sorry this update was slower than I thought it would be, but I had exams and stuff. Expect the rest of this story to be up soon, though they may not be depending on how hard I find it to kill off Lucia (I know how JK felt when she killed whoever she kills in HP5)
Guardian of Lost Souls: I'm glad you're back, I missed your reviews. Hope you like this chapter.
Japhia: Thank you for your review, though I would like to add that this is NOT a Mary Sue, thank MERLIN!!! I am happily nothing like Lucia because, though I love her dearly, the girl has issues.
Fire'N'Ice: What a nice review! It does not make you a bad person, liking stories that make you cry. I also love them. My personal favourite of these is almost anything with Lupin, because I really feel for the poor guy, and especially the stories Someday Out of the Blue (a painfully sad Lupin/Snape story), and On a Winter's Night (a Lupin/Lily story). These are by two of my favourite authors, Lady Feylene and Auror Lupin. I also hate Lucius SO much, especially because of him in this story. Though, I noticed a while ago that the bastard is a character of some importance in all of my fan fiction. I also find it amazing how much of the story can be told through Lucia's words alone, though I also like the fact that much is left to the imagination. Hope you like this new chapter, because it adds another arrow, and I'm glad you finally discovered the story. Like I said to Ainsley, I hope that you become one of my return reviewers.
Aurelia: Dear, dear Aurelia, who has been reviewing since chapter TWO!!! That is SO amazing. Thank you, thank you. And congrats on finishing exams today, so did I. No more high school exams for me EVER!!!!!!! Plus, I know it's horrible that Lucia started hurting herself, but it truly shows how dark she had become. I hope you like this happy chapter, even though as you well know Lucia will soon have to die (a good, angsty death).
On a happier note, it is only 2 days until Order of the Phoenix. Sadly though, I will have to wait until at least Monday until I receive my pre- ordered copy, because I live in the middle of nowhere and it won't be delivered to me. Anyways, I want to express my hope that Black is the character to die, because I really hate him. This is because of my fierce loyalty to Severus Snape, of course. I could also see it being Dumbledore. I just really, REALLY hope it isn't either Snape or Lupin, because then I would be very pissed off at dear JK, and yell and scream at her for about an hour, especially since in another series of books I am reading, Star Wars: The New Jedi Order, my favourite character was just killed.)
(A/N In this chapter, I'm am going along with the typically accepted idea that the Head Boy and Head Girl share a Common Room. Though I do not believe there is proof of this, though I have been wrong before, though not often LOL, for the purpose of this story I will agree with it.)
Draco turned the page, moving towards the seventh year, towards the chapter of Lucia's life filled with the greatest hate, and the greatest love.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I sent a letter to Bartleby today. I just found out for certain that I will be Head Girl next year, surprise surprise. Sadly, my suspicions on the identity of the Head Boy have been confirmed. For the entire of next year, I will be forced to spend considerable amount of time with Weasley. Even worse, I have heard that another brother, Percy, will be attending Hogwarts this year. Will I never be free of those Weasels?
Anyways, as I said I wrote to Bartleby today. Father let my use his owl, Hades, as a reward for my appointment as Head Girl. Or so he said. More likely he wants to send me to the Jacobis as fast as possible after graduation, so he doesn't have to divert even the slightest bit of attention away from precious little Draco. He's eight years old now, so not really that little. And not really that precious, or so it would seem by the way Father treats him. As much as I despise my father, I know I had things easier with Lucius than Draco does, because nothing was ever expected of me. No expectations, or unattainable expectations, which is worse? I truly don't know. Neither gets any recognition for a job well done though.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I haven't heard back from Bartleby at all. I'm getting a little worried, though I don't show it. That would be weakness.
It's been a month since I sent my letter though. Tomorrow I return to Hogwarts. Then I'll make Loki tell me what is going on, even if I have to use all the hexes I know.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
DAMN HIM! DAMN BARTLEBY JACOBI TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I can't believe I let myself believe that Bartleby ever cared for me, or intended to marry me. I saw him use so many girls before, I was a fool to believe a word he said.
The day I got back, I knew something was wrong. I had suspicions before, because of the silence from my would-be intended. Then I saw people snickering behind my back. The worst was Weasley, who I now practically live with.
Finally it was too much, so I found Loki, and tortured the secret out of him. I didn't use any Unforgivables, but was close enough to be expelled without question if it was ever figured out. It won't be, of course.
So, after about 15 minutes he finally collapsed, and told me what had happened. Apparently, Bartleby spend his entire summer f***ing anyone and everyone he could. Loki knew of at least 20 girls!!!!!!!!!!
I hate him, I hate him so much. And I hate myself for putting myself in this position.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
My world is falling apart. Even Father has noticed, lowering himself enough to actually send me a howler, deriding me for my falling marks. At least I was in my room, but I think that Weasley heard. Oh well, what do I care about marks? There just random numbers.
My only refuge is the knife, and my poems. Silver lines almost every inch of my arm. Rage-filled stanzas cover parchment that before would be used taking detailed notes. I don't care anymore. I deserve the pain, letting myself be so used. So I run to the blade of my dagger, and the point of my pen.
I wish I were dead.
Lucia
*~*~*
(Written on parchment)
I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more, So much pain.
I lay dying,
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.
I'm dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied? Tourniquet
My suicide
Below the poem, drawn roughly in ink, was a clearly recognizable hand, with a slash in the wrist gushing blood.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
This is great, just great!!! That damn Weasley has some nerve, sticking his ugly nose in my business! What right does he have, judging me? He has no concept of the hell of my life, a hell that he has helped create!!!!
This is what happened. I left my new poem, the one with the drawing at the bottom, in our Common Room, for Merlin knows what reason. It just slipped my mind.
So, after dinner when I came back to the Room, there was Weasley, staring in shock at the paper. He turned and looked at me, with horror- filled eyes. And then, his eyes dropped to my gloved arms, and for once he should that intelligence that McGonagall always raves about, the intelligence that earned him the position of Head Boy. He walked over to me, took me arm, and pulled the glove down, just far enough to see the scar- ravaged flesh. Then I pulled away from him, and we stared at each other wordlessly. Despite the silence, I could hear his condemnation, hear his mockery of me. So I walked away, came into my bedroom, and haven't left since.
He is disgusted at me, at what I have become. Well, let him be. He is no innocent in driving me to this end.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Everywhere I go, I can feel him watching me. Those weasel eyes bore into me. It is very distracting. Not that it matters. I don't care about this stupid school anymore, or its marks. I have achieved what I set out to do. I am Head Girl. Why should I work anymore, when I can gain nothing of it? Others work hard to get into higher schools, or to land the best jobs. I care nothing for this. It was never in my destiny to work, or become more skilled than a Hogwarts graduate. All I have to look forward in life is being an accessory to some high-ranking pureblood wizard, at his beck and call 24/7.
I don't like him watching me though.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Tonight was almost indescribable. I don't know what to make of it. But I'll try to put to paper the events of the last hour.
In Potions class today we were working with monkshood, which as everyone knows can be extremely toxic, unless used properly. Still, I had to thoroughly clean my dagger off. I was doing this in the bathroom Weasley and I share when he walked in. The moment he saw what I held in my hands, he ran over and pulled it away from me, cutting his hand in the process.
The idiot. He thought to protect me, and only ended up hurting himself. I don't need his protection! Anyways, I told him exactly what I thought of his actions, as he was leaving for the Hospital Wing. I yelled at him, calling him every insult I know, telling him to stay out of my life, because he knows nothing about me.
And do you know what he said? "That's because you won't let me." And with that, he was gone.
I tried to go to sleep, but couldn't get over what he said. And so I turned to you, dearest diary, my only true friend. The only one who will not judge me and the one who knows me best. And still, even rereading what I have written here, I don't know what to make of Weasley's words. I know them to be the truth. And I know that tonight the two of us have reached a new stage. I don't know what this stage is, but I know I will soon find out. And part of me can't wait.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Tonight was another interesting night. Bill came back from the Hospital Wing, and we talked. Merlin! I just called Weasley Bill!!! I know that is his given name, but I've never used it before, not by itself. What a change.
So, it was awkward at first, sitting in our Common Room, just staring at each other. Then we began asking each other questions, silly insignificant questions like what are favourite colours are (silver and black for me, red and orange for him), favourite seasons (he was shocked when I said winter), etc.
We talked for almost 2 hours, and came out of the discussion with a better understanding of each other. I'm not saying we're all of a sudden going to become best friends. But, we're no longer enemies.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
Oh Merlin! I can't believe what happened barely ten minutes ago. Something that shakes me to the very core of my being.
The day started innocently enough, with a regular trip to Hogsmeade. After ensuring all the students got to the town safely - a responsibility I have as Head Girl - I went to get myself Cherry Blast, sitting in the darkest corner in the tavern. Snape had some things to attend to, so I was alone with my drink and my thoughts.
This solitude was spoiled by Bill (there I go again, calling him by his first name), when he came over. We talked again, testing out the limits of this new, almost-friendship we have. We talked and talked, over many, probably too many, drinks. Even though neither Cherry Blasts nor Butterbeer, which Bill was having, are alcoholic, they certainly do affect the drinker.
We returned home staggering, though we were luckily able to keep our balance around the professors and Dumbledore. With my behavior this year, I have almost lost the Head Girl position a few times. Being unable to walk around the headmaster would certainly cause that to happen.
We finally arrived at the Common Room, and I walked unsteadily towards my bedroom door. I wasn't able to make it, and Bill caught me. I looked up at him, his face so close to mine, his eyes staring into mine.
I don't know who made the first move. I think we both did. I leaned up, he leaned down, and our lips touched.
The kiss was so different from anything I experienced with that bastard Bartleby. It was simply yet so sweet. Short, yet perfect. But at the same time, terrifying. When it ended, I bolted out of his arms, and into the safety of my room.
What am I going to do now?
Lucia
PS I realize it is pointless to ask you. As much as I love you, diary dear, you are not very forthcoming with your advice.
*~*~*
Draco laughed suddenly reading Lucia's post-script, then froze in shock as the sound filled the room. He waited, still as a statue, for almost five minutes before returning in ease to his sister's words.
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I'm avoiding him. I know it. He knows it. And I can see the hurt in his eyes, whenever our gazes chance to meet. But, I think it is for the best. How could we ever think to be friends? We are too different. And to be more than friends would be impossible. Father would never allow it, and I dare not defy him.
Yet, maybe I should, for I feel Bill's pain. I share it, because it's killing me inside to shut him out. I don't want to do it, I truly do not. But I think I have to.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I give up, it is too hard to deny that I want and need to be with Bill. But it has been two weeks since our kiss, and I'm afraid he will be too angry to forgive me. But I'm more afraid of not trying. So I wrote him this poem, leaving a piece of parchment with it written against his door, where he can't fail to find it.
How can you see into my eyes,
Like open doors?
Leading you down into my core,
where I've become so numb.
Without a soul,
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,
Until you find it there and lead it back home.
Wake me up inside. I can't wake up. Save me.
Call my name and save me from the dark.
Bid my blood to run.
Before I come undone.
Save me from the nothing I've become.
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just leave me.
Breathe into me and make me real.
I've been living a lie There's nothing inside.
Frozen inside without your touch,
Without your love, darling.
Only you are the life among the dead.
All of this sight
I can't believe I couldn't see
Kept in the dark,
But you were there in front of me.
I've been sleeping a 1000 years it seems.
I've got to open my eyes to everything.
Without a thought
Without a voice
Without a soul
Don't let me die here There must be something more.
Bring me to life.
I hope to Merlin that Bill still wants to be with me.
Lucia
*~*~*
Dear Diary,
I'm so sorry I haven't written in months. All my life, you have been a place for me to rant and rave against the world. But, I haven't needed you for so long it seems, because these last months have been pure happiness.
Bill forgave me, and I haven't left his arms since. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean. But I could spend my entire life wrapped in his embrace, and be just as happy as I am now. I haven't felt anything close to this since my father rejected me for the all-important male heir.
But now, I don't care about that. I have all I want in Bill. I have actual been living in his room for the last month, sleeping beside him. It is so different to be with someone who is gentle, someone who truly respects me, and who I truly respect. To love, and be loved in return.
Tomorrow is graduation. What will happen after I leave Hogwarts? I have no answers to that. All I know is that without Bill I would be lost.
Lucia
(A/N Ah, isn't that so adorable. Ripped of a line from Moulin Rouge, but I don't care because it fits so well. Now I am tearing up. It's so nice to see Lucia happy again, it seems like so long since she was.
This story is nearing its end. There are only two chapters left, and an epilogue. I will tell you all know, enjoy this happiness of Lucia's, for it won't last.
And, both poems come from Evanescence, a group that really affected this story. The first poem is from "Tourniquet", and the second, which I'm certain many of you recognized, is from "Bring Me to Life".
Ainsley Sloan: I REALLY like your review. It really is good for a writer's self-esteem. I also often find diary-fics dull, I couldn't even read the Diary of Anne Frank, and this is really one of my first times writing anything like this. Thank you so SO much for your lovely review, and I hope you like this new chapter, and that you will join the ever so great ranks of my return reviewers.
Opal Star: As always, thanks for the review. And I can't wait for OotP!!! (see below for more of my views on that)
Serpena: Sorry this update was slower than I thought it would be, but I had exams and stuff. Expect the rest of this story to be up soon, though they may not be depending on how hard I find it to kill off Lucia (I know how JK felt when she killed whoever she kills in HP5)
Guardian of Lost Souls: I'm glad you're back, I missed your reviews. Hope you like this chapter.
Japhia: Thank you for your review, though I would like to add that this is NOT a Mary Sue, thank MERLIN!!! I am happily nothing like Lucia because, though I love her dearly, the girl has issues.
Fire'N'Ice: What a nice review! It does not make you a bad person, liking stories that make you cry. I also love them. My personal favourite of these is almost anything with Lupin, because I really feel for the poor guy, and especially the stories Someday Out of the Blue (a painfully sad Lupin/Snape story), and On a Winter's Night (a Lupin/Lily story). These are by two of my favourite authors, Lady Feylene and Auror Lupin. I also hate Lucius SO much, especially because of him in this story. Though, I noticed a while ago that the bastard is a character of some importance in all of my fan fiction. I also find it amazing how much of the story can be told through Lucia's words alone, though I also like the fact that much is left to the imagination. Hope you like this new chapter, because it adds another arrow, and I'm glad you finally discovered the story. Like I said to Ainsley, I hope that you become one of my return reviewers.
Aurelia: Dear, dear Aurelia, who has been reviewing since chapter TWO!!! That is SO amazing. Thank you, thank you. And congrats on finishing exams today, so did I. No more high school exams for me EVER!!!!!!! Plus, I know it's horrible that Lucia started hurting herself, but it truly shows how dark she had become. I hope you like this happy chapter, even though as you well know Lucia will soon have to die (a good, angsty death).
On a happier note, it is only 2 days until Order of the Phoenix. Sadly though, I will have to wait until at least Monday until I receive my pre- ordered copy, because I live in the middle of nowhere and it won't be delivered to me. Anyways, I want to express my hope that Black is the character to die, because I really hate him. This is because of my fierce loyalty to Severus Snape, of course. I could also see it being Dumbledore. I just really, REALLY hope it isn't either Snape or Lupin, because then I would be very pissed off at dear JK, and yell and scream at her for about an hour, especially since in another series of books I am reading, Star Wars: The New Jedi Order, my favourite character was just killed.)
