Chapter six
BOLD print indicates flashback. READ!!!
John stared at Hawkgirl, green eyes blazing.
To say that she felt like she had been punched in the
stomach would only describe a fraction of the emotion that she was feeling at
that moment.
She was elated that he was speaking to her, terrified
over what his reaction might be when he learned the truth, worried about
herself......and their future.
She was going to be sick.
As if his presence alone didn't complicate matters, Katma
chose that time to slide outside the door. "I'll just......leave you two
alone to talk."
Great timing, Katma, Hawkgirl thought ruefully,
before springing off the bed and heading for the basin in the corner of the
room. She was going to be sick.
When the Green Lantern saw her bolt, his expression
changed almost comically from one of tense anger to immeadiate concern. Leaping
across the room, he held her hair back and rubbed her back as she emptied the
remnants of Flash's gourmet lunch into the basin.
Mortified, she straightened up and stared directly into
his eyes. They were still hard, but at least contained SOME concern now. Taking
a deep, shaky breath, she leaned on him for a minute, taking comfort from his
warmth- and his closeness. She pressed her cheek against his chest, wishing she
could just close her eyes- and stay there all afternoon. Underneath his Green
Lantern uniform, she could hear the slow, steady beat of his heart.
John waited for a moment before using the flat of his
hand on her shoulder, seperating them, apparently uncomfortable with the
contact. "Are you.....okay?" he muttered.
Hawkgirl nodded and leaned over the basin once more, this
time to wash out her mouth. "Yes," she managed after she had finished
spitting out the water. "I'm......fine."
John led her over to the bed and helped her climb in,
tucking her blankets around her, and after a moment's hesitation, sat gingerly
on the edge. "Is it......." he paused, slightly embarassed.
"Morning sickness?"
"No," Hawkgirl shook her head.
"Thangerians do not get sick while carrying their young. It was
just.......I don't know."
They sat in silence for a few moments, Shayera finally
daring to look up at him first. Most of the anger was gone from his eyes,
although his mouth still formed a hard, straight line.
"Shay," he said tiredly, and Shayera noticed
again how thin he'd become, "why didn't you tell me about the baby?"
"I didn't know myself, till a couple of days
ago....." Hawkgirl's voice trailed off, and she instantly knew how
pathetic her excuse must sound. "I'm sorry......." Great Thangar, all
she seemed to do was apologize lately.
"Is it mine?" His voice was deathly quiet, now.
"I.......I don't know." Hawkgirl stared down at
her hands, then looked up in time to see a muscle jerk in his cheek.
"Very well, then-" and he stood to his feet,
apparently ready to leave.
"John!" She cried out, reaching out with a
trembling hand to grab his arm. "Don't go....."
"Why not? You seemed confused enough right
now."
Hawkgirl sucked in her breath, wanting to burst into
tears, but knowing she couldn't lose control. "It's not what you
think......."
"No?" John looked skeptical, but at least he
stopped moving towards the door.
"No....." Hawkgirl massaged her temples,
squeezing her eyes shut. Should she tell him the whole story? Could she tell
him the whole story?
Would he believe her? Would he forgive her?
And could she ever forgive herself for what she had
brought down upon her own head?
Looking up into his eyes once more, she swallowed- and
made her decison. "John, i'm going to tell you everything. It all started
when......"
"Kator, no!"
Hawkgirl screamed in inward horror as she saw John
Stewart and Flash, bleeding, broken, wrapped in chains, being led to a
jail-like enclosure in the middle of the T'gar, Hol's Thangerian flying device.
John wouldn't even look at her- and for good reason.
Great Thangar! she cursed bitterly. A mere two days ago,
she was lying in his arms, planning their future together.......
And now, Kator had captured the Justice League and would
conquer the world in a matter of hours.......all destruction wrought because of
her actions.
How could I have been so gullible? she thought bitterly.
SCIENTIFIC research? Who the HELL ever sent spies to do SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH?
She must have been out of her mind to believe Kator at the time.
He had made her believe, though- oh, he had made her
believe. She had thought he loved her- and that his motives only came from
wanting to better the plight of millions of Thangerians on her planet.
She had been sent as a spy.
She hadn't counted on falling- hard- for an earthling,
though.
Or for now being responsible for his planet's demise.
"My dear?"
Hawkgirl turned and faced Kator, staring at him through
the confines of the steel cage she was now being held in. "Don't call me
that," she whispered.
Kator's face immeadiatly melted into an expression of
sympathy. "Hawkgirl," he said. "I am so sorry that we were not
able to convey our true.......intentions for the planet Earth in your
initial....assingment, but the terms of the misson made it imperiative that the
earthlings suspect NOTHING. We actually made it easier for you."
"Easier......how?" cried Hawkgirl, furious. Oh,
if only I had my mace......."by making me betray the Justice League, who
has shown more integrity than you ever will?"
Kator winced. "Touche." He then motioned for
the guards to open her cage, which they did. "Get out," he said to
them, and they obeyed that as well.
Kator then walked through the door, smiling slightly.
"I understand your anger," he said patiently, "and I agree with
you." He reached up and touched her cheek. "I am sorry, my
love." He began to caress it. "I still....care for you."
She spit in his face.
KAtor looked angry for a minute; then leaned over and
kissed her on the lips, gently. Hawkgirl was so startled that she stepped back.
"How dare you!"
His expression darkened. "You were
very.....attentive to me the last time we spoke, two months ago. Has the Green
Lantern......."
"My personal life is none of your concern,"
Hawkgirl spat. "You are a liar. And a traitor."
Kator looked genuinely hurt, but his mask covered his
face effectively. "You honestly feel nothing for me?" He reached out
and touched her cheek.
She slapped him across the face, leaving a dark bruise.
He stepped back, and his expression had turned cold- an
expression of stunned hurt. "Ah. I see. They have....turned you."
Was it a trick of light, or had the man's eyes actually
glistened with moisture?
"Guards!"
"Yes, General Hol?"
"Take this......this WOMAN and lock her up. I will
decide her fate later."
"Yes, sir."
Hawkgirl had spent the evening in her cold, solitary
cage, while Hol and his men planned their strategy for rounding up the rest of
the Justice League- and taking them in, as they had Flash and the Green
Lantern.
Hawkgirl tested the bars on her cage. They were sound,
and hard. She wasn't going anywhere, and she couldn't help ANYONE in this
state. Plus, she knew from experience in Thangerian war stategy that it was
only a matter of time before Flash and the Green Lantern would be killed. And
as far as they knew, the Justice League had no clue where they were, nor
expected them back frokm their mission for another couple of days- in which
amount of time, they would certianly be dead.
She had to prevent it. She had to free them.
And she only knew one way.
The next evening, her guards were surprised when she
asked for Kator- and he was, too, judging from the speed in which he came to
her cell, holding a brass lamp. "Yes?"
Hawkgirl had practiced the speech many times in her head
overnight, and it flowed from her lips with surprising ease. "Kator....I
am sorry."
His face betrayed nothing.
"I.......I took what you said into consideration
last night, and I.......realized that you were doing the right thing."
He smirked and leaned on her cage, his lips curving into
an amused smile. "And did your former teammate's impending fate have
anything to do with this sudden revalation?"
Hawkgirl was startled that he had already seen through
her ruse; but then again.....he knew her so well.....she stared at him, at his
hard, muscled warrior's body, full, sensual lips, thick hair falling over his
mask.......
And she felt a pang.......perhaps a nudge from the past
remembering the long....nights.....with Kator......, perhaps her body already
responding to what she knew she had to do in order to free her friends.......
.....and before she could think about it, dwell on it,
even allow herself to think about the possible consequnces of her actions, she
reached through the bars, pulled his face down, and pressed her lips to his.
The shock she recieved when he began kissing her back was
nothing compared to the look on his face. He wrested away from her, waving away
the guards. "What does this mean?" he hissed, low, when they were
gone.
"It means I still care for you!" and Hawkgirl
burst into a round of hysterical tears, easy to do because she was so cold, so miserable,
and so completely, utterly disgusted with herself. How could she have sunk this
low?
The amazed look on Kator's face, however, showed that he
actually was beginning to fall for her ruse.....he opened the door, motioning
for her to come out.
She did so, staring at the ground, but he took her chin
into his hand, looking deep into her eyes. Somehow, she managed to hold his
gaze steadlily- but the doubt still in HIS eyes frightened her.
Kator was a warrior. There were no half-steps with him.
If you wanted to convince him- you had to go all the way- despite any and all
consequences.
But could she do it?
She glanced over to the section of the ship where the
Green Lantern and Flash were being held, and shuddered. She had no choice.
In one smooth, seamless motion, she slipped her hands
underneath Kator's mail shirt, caressing the hard, lean muscles, kissing him-
hard.
He sighed- perhaps in relief? "You DO still love
me.- you are still with me."
She didn't reply.
"Answer me." His voice was low, insistent. he
took her chin in his hands once more.
Hawkgirl gulped and opened her mouth, saying the words
that she knew would free the man she truly loved......but seal her fate in the
process.
"All I know is I want you.....I want you always......"
Kator smiled- a surprisingly diabolical smile, even in
it's gentleness- and lowered her to the floor, where she tried hard not to
stiffen with fear- or disgust, as his hands moved over her in ways she thought
she had long forgotten.
She squeezed her eyes shut........and sacrificed herself.
The lamplight yielded into the night.
Hawkgirl finished her tale, her voice hoarse from so much
talking. She looked at her clock. Over two hours had passed. The Green Lantern
was still seated on her bed, head bowed, face hidden in shadow. Hawkgirl
sighed.
"You know the rest. I freed you the next day, and we
fought him together...." she closed her eyes, remembering. "And then
you left, when you found that the Justice League was retaining me as a
member." She paused. "There was no other way. I had to earn his
trust- and quickly. My only choice was to play to his greatest weakness- which
unfortunately, was me."
John remained silent.
"Please, say something. Anything."
John's mouth moved once, as if he had trouble forming
words; and when his voice came out, it was raspy. "Does......Katma
know?"
Hawkgirl shook her head. "She thinks......the child
is yours." Or maybe she didn't. In the short time she'd known Katma, she
now found her to be incredibly astue. "John....I'm so sorry......"
she bent over and struggled to keep her composure.
To her surprise, she felt a pair of warm arms encircle
her hesitantly as first, then with less resistance. She looked up into John's
face- it still held that mixture of hurt and confusion, but his arms were SO
comforting.......he rested his chin in her hair, and she leaned across his
chest, almost weeping with relief.....she had been so afraid he'd push her away
in disgust........
"So," she said, softly, "where does this
leave us?"
It was a full thirty seconds before John answered.
"Shay," he said. "I don't know."
