Chapter six


BOLD print indicates flashback. READ!!!



John stared at Hawkgirl, green eyes blazing.

To say that she felt like she had been punched in the stomach would only describe a fraction of the emotion that she was feeling at that moment.

She was elated that he was speaking to her, terrified over what his reaction might be when he learned the truth, worried about herself......and their future.

She was going to be sick.

As if his presence alone didn't complicate matters, Katma chose that time to slide outside the door. "I'll just......leave you two alone to talk."

Great timing, Katma, Hawkgirl thought ruefully, before springing off the bed and heading for the basin in the corner of the room. She was going to be sick.

When the Green Lantern saw her bolt, his expression changed almost comically from one of tense anger to immeadiate concern. Leaping across the room, he held her hair back and rubbed her back as she emptied the remnants of Flash's gourmet lunch into the basin.

Mortified, she straightened up and stared directly into his eyes. They were still hard, but at least contained SOME concern now. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she leaned on him for a minute, taking comfort from his warmth- and his closeness. She pressed her cheek against his chest, wishing she could just close her eyes- and stay there all afternoon. Underneath his Green Lantern uniform, she could hear the slow, steady beat of his heart.

John waited for a moment before using the flat of his hand on her shoulder, seperating them, apparently uncomfortable with the contact. "Are you.....okay?" he muttered.

Hawkgirl nodded and leaned over the basin once more, this time to wash out her mouth. "Yes," she managed after she had finished spitting out the water. "I'm......fine."

John led her over to the bed and helped her climb in, tucking her blankets around her, and after a moment's hesitation, sat gingerly on the edge. "Is it......." he paused, slightly embarassed. "Morning sickness?"

"No," Hawkgirl shook her head. "Thangerians do not get sick while carrying their young. It was just.......I don't know."

They sat in silence for a few moments, Shayera finally daring to look up at him first. Most of the anger was gone from his eyes, although his mouth still formed a hard, straight line.

"Shay," he said tiredly, and Shayera noticed again how thin he'd become, "why didn't you tell me about the baby?"

"I didn't know myself, till a couple of days ago....." Hawkgirl's voice trailed off, and she instantly knew how pathetic her excuse must sound. "I'm sorry......." Great Thangar, all she seemed to do was apologize lately.

"Is it mine?" His voice was deathly quiet, now.

"I.......I don't know." Hawkgirl stared down at her hands, then looked up in time to see a muscle jerk in his cheek.

"Very well, then-" and he stood to his feet, apparently ready to leave.

"John!" She cried out, reaching out with a trembling hand to grab his arm. "Don't go....."

"Why not? You seemed confused enough right now."

Hawkgirl sucked in her breath, wanting to burst into tears, but knowing she couldn't lose control. "It's not what you think......."

"No?" John looked skeptical, but at least he stopped moving towards the door.

"No....." Hawkgirl massaged her temples, squeezing her eyes shut. Should she tell him the whole story? Could she tell him the whole story?

Would he believe her? Would he forgive her?

And could she ever forgive herself for what she had brought down upon her own head?

Looking up into his eyes once more, she swallowed- and made her decison. "John, i'm going to tell you everything. It all started when......"

"Kator, no!"

Hawkgirl screamed in inward horror as she saw John Stewart and Flash, bleeding, broken, wrapped in chains, being led to a jail-like enclosure in the middle of the T'gar, Hol's Thangerian flying device.

John wouldn't even look at her- and for good reason.

Great Thangar! she cursed bitterly. A mere two days ago, she was lying in his arms, planning their future together.......

And now, Kator had captured the Justice League and would conquer the world in a matter of hours.......all destruction wrought because of her actions.

How could I have been so gullible? she thought bitterly. SCIENTIFIC research? Who the HELL ever sent spies to do SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH? She must have been out of her mind to believe Kator at the time.

He had made her believe, though- oh, he had made her believe. She had thought he loved her- and that his motives only came from wanting to better the plight of millions of Thangerians on her planet.

She had been sent as a spy.

She hadn't counted on falling- hard- for an earthling, though.

Or for now being responsible for his planet's demise.

"My dear?"

Hawkgirl turned and faced Kator, staring at him through the confines of the steel cage she was now being held in. "Don't call me that," she whispered.

Kator's face immeadiatly melted into an expression of sympathy. "Hawkgirl," he said. "I am so sorry that we were not able to convey our true.......intentions for the planet Earth in your initial....assingment, but the terms of the misson made it imperiative that the earthlings suspect NOTHING. We actually made it easier for you."

"Easier......how?" cried Hawkgirl, furious. Oh, if only I had my mace......."by making me betray the Justice League, who has shown more integrity than you ever will?"

Kator winced. "Touche." He then motioned for the guards to open her cage, which they did. "Get out," he said to them, and they obeyed that as well.

Kator then walked through the door, smiling slightly. "I understand your anger," he said patiently, "and I agree with you." He reached up and touched her cheek. "I am sorry, my love." He began to caress it. "I still....care for you."

She spit in his face.

KAtor looked angry for a minute; then leaned over and kissed her on the lips, gently. Hawkgirl was so startled that she stepped back. "How dare you!"

His expression darkened. "You were very.....attentive to me the last time we spoke, two months ago. Has the Green Lantern......."

"My personal life is none of your concern," Hawkgirl spat. "You are a liar. And a traitor."

Kator looked genuinely hurt, but his mask covered his face effectively. "You honestly feel nothing for me?" He reached out and touched her cheek.

She slapped him across the face, leaving a dark bruise.

He stepped back, and his expression had turned cold- an expression of stunned hurt. "Ah. I see. They have....turned you."

Was it a trick of light, or had the man's eyes actually glistened with moisture?

"Guards!"

"Yes, General Hol?"

"Take this......this WOMAN and lock her up. I will decide her fate later."

"Yes, sir."

Hawkgirl had spent the evening in her cold, solitary cage, while Hol and his men planned their strategy for rounding up the rest of the Justice League- and taking them in, as they had Flash and the Green Lantern.

Hawkgirl tested the bars on her cage. They were sound, and hard. She wasn't going anywhere, and she couldn't help ANYONE in this state. Plus, she knew from experience in Thangerian war stategy that it was only a matter of time before Flash and the Green Lantern would be killed. And as far as they knew, the Justice League had no clue where they were, nor expected them back frokm their mission for another couple of days- in which amount of time, they would certianly be dead.

She had to prevent it. She had to free them.

And she only knew one way.

The next evening, her guards were surprised when she asked for Kator- and he was, too, judging from the speed in which he came to her cell, holding a brass lamp. "Yes?"

Hawkgirl had practiced the speech many times in her head overnight, and it flowed from her lips with surprising ease. "Kator....I am sorry."

His face betrayed nothing.

"I.......I took what you said into consideration last night, and I.......realized that you were doing the right thing."

He smirked and leaned on her cage, his lips curving into an amused smile. "And did your former teammate's impending fate have anything to do with this sudden revalation?"

Hawkgirl was startled that he had already seen through her ruse; but then again.....he knew her so well.....she stared at him, at his hard, muscled warrior's body, full, sensual lips, thick hair falling over his mask.......

And she felt a pang.......perhaps a nudge from the past remembering the long....nights.....with Kator......, perhaps her body already responding to what she knew she had to do in order to free her friends.......

.....and before she could think about it, dwell on it, even allow herself to think about the possible consequnces of her actions, she reached through the bars, pulled his face down, and pressed her lips to his.

The shock she recieved when he began kissing her back was nothing compared to the look on his face. He wrested away from her, waving away the guards. "What does this mean?" he hissed, low, when they were gone.

"It means I still care for you!" and Hawkgirl burst into a round of hysterical tears, easy to do because she was so cold, so miserable, and so completely, utterly disgusted with herself. How could she have sunk this low?

The amazed look on Kator's face, however, showed that he actually was beginning to fall for her ruse.....he opened the door, motioning for her to come out.

She did so, staring at the ground, but he took her chin into his hand, looking deep into her eyes. Somehow, she managed to hold his gaze steadlily- but the doubt still in HIS eyes frightened her.

Kator was a warrior. There were no half-steps with him. If you wanted to convince him- you had to go all the way- despite any and all consequences.

But could she do it?

She glanced over to the section of the ship where the Green Lantern and Flash were being held, and shuddered. She had no choice.

In one smooth, seamless motion, she slipped her hands underneath Kator's mail shirt, caressing the hard, lean muscles, kissing him- hard.

He sighed- perhaps in relief? "You DO still love me.- you are still with me."

She didn't reply.

"Answer me." His voice was low, insistent. he took her chin in his hands once more.

Hawkgirl gulped and opened her mouth, saying the words that she knew would free the man she truly loved......but seal her fate in the process.

"All I know is I want you.....I want you always......"

Kator smiled- a surprisingly diabolical smile, even in it's gentleness- and lowered her to the floor, where she tried hard not to stiffen with fear- or disgust, as his hands moved over her in ways she thought she had long forgotten.

She squeezed her eyes shut........and sacrificed herself.

The lamplight yielded into the night.


Hawkgirl finished her tale, her voice hoarse from so much talking. She looked at her clock. Over two hours had passed. The Green Lantern was still seated on her bed, head bowed, face hidden in shadow. Hawkgirl sighed.

"You know the rest. I freed you the next day, and we fought him together...." she closed her eyes, remembering. "And then you left, when you found that the Justice League was retaining me as a member." She paused. "There was no other way. I had to earn his trust- and quickly. My only choice was to play to his greatest weakness- which unfortunately, was me."

John remained silent.

"Please, say something. Anything."

John's mouth moved once, as if he had trouble forming words; and when his voice came out, it was raspy. "Does......Katma know?"

Hawkgirl shook her head. "She thinks......the child is yours." Or maybe she didn't. In the short time she'd known Katma, she now found her to be incredibly astue. "John....I'm so sorry......" she bent over and struggled to keep her composure.

To her surprise, she felt a pair of warm arms encircle her hesitantly as first, then with less resistance. She looked up into John's face- it still held that mixture of hurt and confusion, but his arms were SO comforting.......he rested his chin in her hair, and she leaned across his chest, almost weeping with relief.....she had been so afraid he'd push her away in disgust........

"So," she said, softly, "where does this leave us?"

It was a full thirty seconds before John answered. "Shay," he said. "I don't know."