Title: Slip Sliding Away
Disclaimer: Look at the bottom of your shoe. That is my net worth. Do I look like I own anything to you? I mean, hey, if I owned anything related to the X-Files do you think I'd be here? (Yes, but that's beside the point.)
Summary: Set in season six after Milagro: Scully needs a vacation from the X-Files so she goes somewhere she thinks even Mulder won't find her. When an X-File threatens to ruin her getaway and Mulder turns up, what will she do?
Author's Note: First, a very, very big thanks to Anonymous. I'm honored you think so highly of me. I always try to write well, but the only reason I post so much is because I have no life. Please leave your name so I can thank you more personally. Second, thanks to everyone else for their wonderful reviews. Now, on with the story.
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Day 16
Piper Maru (Main Deck)
I am so screwed. Mulder knows I love him, but has been avoiding me all day. I'm certain that all my attempts to astonish him have failed and now he hates me. Oh god, now he's going to transfer me out and officially replace me with Fowley. I'll end up in Omaha or Salt Lake City again!
'Get a grip Dana!' the powerful voice inside my head yells over my massive panic attack. 'You don't need him if he doesn't want you.' I know the voice in my head is wrong though. I need Mulder as much as I need to breathe. Why is he avoiding me?!
I stare out into the depths of the ocean as if there is something there to answer me. I jump as a voice speaks from behind me.
"Looking to take another swim in the Caribbean?" Matt asks.
"You just scared the hell out me! What's wrong with you?!"
"I should be asking you the same question. You're relatively young and in love in a beautiful paradise. Why so glum?"
"Mulder's avoiding me?"
"You two have a lover's spat already?"
"No, I haven't even seen him since he was in my cabin yesterday."
"That's funny, he seemed really happy when I left him yesterday; practically glowing with joy."
"Well maybe he's changed his mind and decided he doesn't want me. It was stupid to think so anyway."
"No it wasn't! We both know he loves you and I don't think anything would change that."
"You may be confident but I'm not so sure. He's never really trusted me anyway."
"Dana-"
"Not now, Matt. I'm not in the mood. I'm going to go lie down for a bit."
I walk down to my rooms, but on the way down, I come face to face with my arch-nemesis, Diana Fowley.
"I want to warn you right now: Fox is mine. Back off right away."
"What makes you think that you have any right to him? You left him and then you expect to come back and pick up where you left off? It doesn't work that way."
"Oh, yeah? Then how come he trusts me more than he trusts you?"
I have no answer. I look down at the less than fascinating rug.
"I thought so. Now back off."
She strides away from me, gloating over her apparent victory.
I continue walking to my rooms. I can't do this anymore. Maybe it's better if he doesn't care about me. It will make it easier to leave.
I unlock the door, but I'm not surprised when a familiar voice greets me from inside.
"Hey," the voice greeted me, "I think we need to talk."
Same Time
Piper Maru (Scully's Cabin)
She opens the door and doesn't even look up as I speak. She pours herself a drink of water and motions for me to follow her out onto the balcony. We sit in the chairs, she looks out at the sea and I look at her. I never quite realized how small she is. She pulls her legs up to her chest, wraps her arms around them, and rests her head on he knees. Never before I have seen her this beautiful and I realize that the icy walls she usual puts up is no longer standing. The façade has cracked and crumbled to reveal her true self. She's bearing everything she is to me and I know this is a big step; to her it must be like leaping off a cliff. I see she's waiting for me to make the first move so I begin.
"I had an interesting talk with Matt yesterday."
She gives no sign off even having heard what I said, but I can tell she's absorbing it.
"Is what he said true?"
"What do you think Mulder?" She finally responds.
"I honestly don't know what to think. I mean at first, I was beyond happy, but then I began to wonder. Why did Matt have to tell me? Why didn't hear it from you? Maybe he was wrong? So you tell me Dana, what should I think?"
She paused a moment before responding. I think she was a little stunned by my use of her first name. Then she quietly replied.
"I think that you should forget what he said."
Now it is my turned to be stunned.
"So he was wrong."
"It doesn't matter if he was right or wrong Mulder, it never would have worked out anyway. The thing is Mulder, you don't trust me and that's what it all comes down to. You've never really trusted me. You've always distanced yourself. I thought things were getting better, but then Diana came back and you trusted her, without a doubt. We've always disagreed, but in a respectful kind of way. When you just dismissed me when I tried to warn you about her, I realized it then. Now, I just don't think it would be good to go to a place where things could end up worse than they already are.
She continues to stare at the ocean. I am stupefied. How could she think those things? But reflecting on my recent actions, I've given her no reason to think otherwise. I didn't trust her completely at first, but for the last couple of years I've trusted her completely. I've only distanced myself so as not to hurt her; to protect her. My trust in Diana ran nowhere as deep as my trust in Scully did. Until recently, when I really began to see Scully's point, I had no reason not to trust her. She'd been there for me. Diana had agreed with me and supported my decisions. I've only recently begun to realize that Scully has always supported me. If it wasn't for her I would never have gotten as close to the Truth as I am now. She made me work for every answer. She's the only reason I have scientific proof to support my theories.
I open my mouth. I want to correct her assumptions, but she cuts me off.
"I really don't want to hear your rationalizations and excuses. Please leave me alone for a while."
I'm so shocked I don't know what to do. She stands and finally looks me in the eyes. Deep within her clear blue eyes are anger, pain, despair -and love.
She walks past me and opens the door, pointing to the hallway.
"Go."
"This isn't over yet."
"As far as I'm concerned, it is."
I walk past her and hear her door slam behind me. I walk like a zombie to my room. As soon as I get the door closed I sink down against it.
I had tried to protect her all these years and now, my protection was the thing pushing her away.
Day 17
Piper Maru (Karaoke Bar)
"Another please." I call out to the waitress as I finish off my third margarita. Drunk Girl is back again, appropriately singing "Wasting Away in Margaritaville". Or maybe it was her singing that inspired my choice of drink. I can't remember.
Matt is across the room sitting intimately in a corner with Antonio. He wanted to join me, but I made him promise that at least on of us would be happy the remainder of the trip; or at least until he tells his family tomorrow at the last Gala. We will soon be dropping off passengers at various islands.
I have decided I will leave the FBI and go with Matt to New York. I've started writing a draft of my resignation letter, trying to explain to the AD why I desperately need to quit. They don't like to split up partners without a good reason.
'Cheer up, Dana.' The voice inside my head is back again. I make a mental note to see a psychiatrist when I get back. Maybe I can medicate the pesky little voice away.
I am going to be so wasted tomorrow, but I don't care. That's what coffee is for.
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Author's Note: Come on! You didn't think it was going to be that easy now, did you? To anyone who read my last story, "Somewhere Beyond", I have decided to let that be the last chapter and maybe, just maybe, give that sequel thing a try. So, on with the reviewing now.
Disclaimer: Look at the bottom of your shoe. That is my net worth. Do I look like I own anything to you? I mean, hey, if I owned anything related to the X-Files do you think I'd be here? (Yes, but that's beside the point.)
Summary: Set in season six after Milagro: Scully needs a vacation from the X-Files so she goes somewhere she thinks even Mulder won't find her. When an X-File threatens to ruin her getaway and Mulder turns up, what will she do?
Author's Note: First, a very, very big thanks to Anonymous. I'm honored you think so highly of me. I always try to write well, but the only reason I post so much is because I have no life. Please leave your name so I can thank you more personally. Second, thanks to everyone else for their wonderful reviews. Now, on with the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Day 16
Piper Maru (Main Deck)
I am so screwed. Mulder knows I love him, but has been avoiding me all day. I'm certain that all my attempts to astonish him have failed and now he hates me. Oh god, now he's going to transfer me out and officially replace me with Fowley. I'll end up in Omaha or Salt Lake City again!
'Get a grip Dana!' the powerful voice inside my head yells over my massive panic attack. 'You don't need him if he doesn't want you.' I know the voice in my head is wrong though. I need Mulder as much as I need to breathe. Why is he avoiding me?!
I stare out into the depths of the ocean as if there is something there to answer me. I jump as a voice speaks from behind me.
"Looking to take another swim in the Caribbean?" Matt asks.
"You just scared the hell out me! What's wrong with you?!"
"I should be asking you the same question. You're relatively young and in love in a beautiful paradise. Why so glum?"
"Mulder's avoiding me?"
"You two have a lover's spat already?"
"No, I haven't even seen him since he was in my cabin yesterday."
"That's funny, he seemed really happy when I left him yesterday; practically glowing with joy."
"Well maybe he's changed his mind and decided he doesn't want me. It was stupid to think so anyway."
"No it wasn't! We both know he loves you and I don't think anything would change that."
"You may be confident but I'm not so sure. He's never really trusted me anyway."
"Dana-"
"Not now, Matt. I'm not in the mood. I'm going to go lie down for a bit."
I walk down to my rooms, but on the way down, I come face to face with my arch-nemesis, Diana Fowley.
"I want to warn you right now: Fox is mine. Back off right away."
"What makes you think that you have any right to him? You left him and then you expect to come back and pick up where you left off? It doesn't work that way."
"Oh, yeah? Then how come he trusts me more than he trusts you?"
I have no answer. I look down at the less than fascinating rug.
"I thought so. Now back off."
She strides away from me, gloating over her apparent victory.
I continue walking to my rooms. I can't do this anymore. Maybe it's better if he doesn't care about me. It will make it easier to leave.
I unlock the door, but I'm not surprised when a familiar voice greets me from inside.
"Hey," the voice greeted me, "I think we need to talk."
Same Time
Piper Maru (Scully's Cabin)
She opens the door and doesn't even look up as I speak. She pours herself a drink of water and motions for me to follow her out onto the balcony. We sit in the chairs, she looks out at the sea and I look at her. I never quite realized how small she is. She pulls her legs up to her chest, wraps her arms around them, and rests her head on he knees. Never before I have seen her this beautiful and I realize that the icy walls she usual puts up is no longer standing. The façade has cracked and crumbled to reveal her true self. She's bearing everything she is to me and I know this is a big step; to her it must be like leaping off a cliff. I see she's waiting for me to make the first move so I begin.
"I had an interesting talk with Matt yesterday."
She gives no sign off even having heard what I said, but I can tell she's absorbing it.
"Is what he said true?"
"What do you think Mulder?" She finally responds.
"I honestly don't know what to think. I mean at first, I was beyond happy, but then I began to wonder. Why did Matt have to tell me? Why didn't hear it from you? Maybe he was wrong? So you tell me Dana, what should I think?"
She paused a moment before responding. I think she was a little stunned by my use of her first name. Then she quietly replied.
"I think that you should forget what he said."
Now it is my turned to be stunned.
"So he was wrong."
"It doesn't matter if he was right or wrong Mulder, it never would have worked out anyway. The thing is Mulder, you don't trust me and that's what it all comes down to. You've never really trusted me. You've always distanced yourself. I thought things were getting better, but then Diana came back and you trusted her, without a doubt. We've always disagreed, but in a respectful kind of way. When you just dismissed me when I tried to warn you about her, I realized it then. Now, I just don't think it would be good to go to a place where things could end up worse than they already are.
She continues to stare at the ocean. I am stupefied. How could she think those things? But reflecting on my recent actions, I've given her no reason to think otherwise. I didn't trust her completely at first, but for the last couple of years I've trusted her completely. I've only distanced myself so as not to hurt her; to protect her. My trust in Diana ran nowhere as deep as my trust in Scully did. Until recently, when I really began to see Scully's point, I had no reason not to trust her. She'd been there for me. Diana had agreed with me and supported my decisions. I've only recently begun to realize that Scully has always supported me. If it wasn't for her I would never have gotten as close to the Truth as I am now. She made me work for every answer. She's the only reason I have scientific proof to support my theories.
I open my mouth. I want to correct her assumptions, but she cuts me off.
"I really don't want to hear your rationalizations and excuses. Please leave me alone for a while."
I'm so shocked I don't know what to do. She stands and finally looks me in the eyes. Deep within her clear blue eyes are anger, pain, despair -and love.
She walks past me and opens the door, pointing to the hallway.
"Go."
"This isn't over yet."
"As far as I'm concerned, it is."
I walk past her and hear her door slam behind me. I walk like a zombie to my room. As soon as I get the door closed I sink down against it.
I had tried to protect her all these years and now, my protection was the thing pushing her away.
Day 17
Piper Maru (Karaoke Bar)
"Another please." I call out to the waitress as I finish off my third margarita. Drunk Girl is back again, appropriately singing "Wasting Away in Margaritaville". Or maybe it was her singing that inspired my choice of drink. I can't remember.
Matt is across the room sitting intimately in a corner with Antonio. He wanted to join me, but I made him promise that at least on of us would be happy the remainder of the trip; or at least until he tells his family tomorrow at the last Gala. We will soon be dropping off passengers at various islands.
I have decided I will leave the FBI and go with Matt to New York. I've started writing a draft of my resignation letter, trying to explain to the AD why I desperately need to quit. They don't like to split up partners without a good reason.
'Cheer up, Dana.' The voice inside my head is back again. I make a mental note to see a psychiatrist when I get back. Maybe I can medicate the pesky little voice away.
I am going to be so wasted tomorrow, but I don't care. That's what coffee is for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note: Come on! You didn't think it was going to be that easy now, did you? To anyone who read my last story, "Somewhere Beyond", I have decided to let that be the last chapter and maybe, just maybe, give that sequel thing a try. So, on with the reviewing now.
