Disclaimer: I definitely don't own this stuff. I wish I did. How cool would that be if you could be like "I own Pirates of the Caribbean" or "I own Lord of the Rings." But I can't say that. Well, I could, but it would be a lie. Savvy?

RingPirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Rum

Chapter 2 Why Would You Want a Flask of Rum Stuffed Down Your Shirtfront?

Elizabeth Baggins opened her eyes. The dream had been so. vivid, so lifelike. She had felt the spray of the sea, the touch of Will's hair. too bad the dream had ended. She could have had the whole journey with Will replayed. She never saw much of Will anymore. He was just. a blacksmith. Of all things, a blacksmith! Why couldn't he have been a servant? Specifically, a servant in her home. Then she could have seen him all the time. Every day! Every moment she wanted him, Will would be there.

This reminded her of the rum. She still had the rum. She still wanted to drink the rum. Every day she was reminded of it, but every time she had gone to drink it, something happened. She still wanted to drink it. She stood up, and went to the desk that she had kept the rum in. Inside the secret compartment of a drawer she found the little flask of rum. She lifted it up with trembling hands, and uncorked it. at long last she would drink it!

KNOCK! KNOCK! A loud rap on her door brought her out of her stupor.

"Elizabeth Baggins!" Gandalf Swann's voice came sailing through the door. "Elizabeth, you dressed? I'm coming in!"

Hurriedly she ran over to the bed, and pulled on a dressing gown. She then corked the rum and stuffed it down the front of her shirt. Wow, that must have been reeeally uncomfortable. Why would you want a flask of rum stuffed down your shirtfront? I can tell you, I wouldn't do that.

"Come in!" she called.

Gandalf Swann walked in the room. His hair is very long and very grey. It's actually rather funny looking. He has a looong grey beard too. Okay, back to the story.

"You lazy little butthead!" he exclaimed. We can't say much for his word choice. "It's late you silly hobbi- I mean girl!"

Elizabeth shakes her head from her height of four feet. She's always been very short. Her hair is now very long, and in curls. Its black and yellow. Kind of like Cruella de Ville. Except Cruella's hair is white. Okay, that's not the point. The point is, she's short. Okay?

"I brought you a present!" he exclaims cheerfully. "It's a dress that will make you suck in your stomach , and have a waist of 2 inches around Isn't that lovely? Oh yes, I knew you really would love it. I'm so excited to see you in it for the coronation."

Elizabeth ducks behind a screen. "Coronation?" she inquires, wondering if Will will be there.

"Aragorn Norrington's coronation." Says Gandalf. Elizabeth is inclined not to answer, and she is sucking in her stomach, and really can't breathe. Isn't that sad? Oh yes, so sad. It would be funny if she collapsed on the ground this second. But she doesn't. Instead, she just feels like crap. Her dress is low, too low for the comfort of people watching the movie. But okay. Gandalf is now walking downstairs and what he sees there would make Elizabeth scream with joy.

Yes, Will Greenleaf is standing at the bottom of the stairs, holding a box. Wow, have the years improved him. He now has a beard to go along with the long blonde hair. He's really hot. He sees Gandalf Swann coming, and wonders if Elizabeth is there.

"Good day, Mr. Greenleaf!" says Gandalf Swann.

"Hi. I have the sword. That you asked for."

The author now proceeds to skip the whole thing where Will shows Gandalf the sword that Gandalf is giving to Aragorn Norrington. It's really remarkably boring.

"Elizabeth! Oh, you look wonderful!" exclaims Gandalf. Will suddenly feels as if he cannot breathe.

"Will!" Elizabeth exclaims. Oh, joy and rapture is hers. Her heart flutters, and the dress feels much tighter and much lower than it actually is. She wants to seize his hands and do a dance. But she doesn't. She does the next best thing: trips down the stairs, forcing him to step forward and catch her as she falls. As he helps her up, apologizing, she says under her breath, "I had a dream about you last night, Willy."

Will is completely thunderstruck. "About me?" he says.

"When we met. Do you remember?"

"Duh, gorgeous." Okay, that's what he wants to say. What he does say is, "yes, Miss Baggins."

"Well, please call me Elizabeth," Miss Baggins is just so. formal!

"Elizabeth!" such familiarity shocks Gandalf. He mutters to Will, "You call her Elizabeth and I'll punch your pretty boy face in."

"Good day Mr. Greenleaf." Says Elizabeth, as Gandalf picks up the sword and they walk out.

Will smiles and nods. As they leave, he rushes out after them, and feels he can breathe again. Thankfully. The whole not breathing thing was bothering him. As they ride away in a carriage, he is struck by a sudden idea. He mutters to him self, "Good day. Elizabeth."

Did you like it? Was it good? Don't answer that, it will be no. Okay, give me another review for Chapter Three: The Part With the Really Cool Music That We All Love.