Clandestine Hearts

Author: Shannie328

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: J/D

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Never will.

Note: Okay, so I will be the first to admit that I know very little about politics. I have no clue what half the people do in the White House. So I just made up the position of Human Relations Assistant.

Present

Leo made his way through the West Wing, his mind trying to work through about a million ideas. Two days before, a car bomb had exploded outside a restaurant in Qumar, one American was killed and it was rumored that he was the target. Things were just starting to settle down surrounding that and now he had to deal with the goings on of his own staff. And considering everything that had happened lately, he knew it could shape up to be a media nightmare.

He reached C.J.'s door and knocked. After not getting an answer he opened the door.

"C.J.?"

C.J.'s head popped off of her desk and she stared at Leo in confusion.

"Yeah?"

Leo held back a grin as the Press Secretary of the United States blinked back at him, her hair sticking up on ends.

"You've got a paperclip on your forehead."

C.J.'s eyes looked upward and she pulled the paper clip on her forehead and then rubbed the spot with her other hand. That was going to leave a mark.

"Don't worry, it will go away before the press briefing."

C.J. smirked, "Is there something you needed Leo? Something new on Qumar?"

Leo shook his head, "Nothing the press needs to know about right now. I think today will be pretty quiet, being Saturday. We'll just do the briefing at noon to update. But there's something else we need to talk about."

C.J. sighed and straightened her shirt, "Great, I needed something else on my plate right now. I hope this ones a good one. Will I get to really fight with the press?"

Leo shrugged, "Depends on how we handle it. It's about Josh and Donna."

C.J. looked up, suddenly interested, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. You still have that file?"

Leo stepped into the office and closed the door behind him.

February 2004 : Five Months earlier

Josh watched from his office as Donna moved around the bullpen, straightening up, turning off light and computers, getting ready to leave. She pulled on her coat, wrapped her scarf around her neck and grabbed her purse. Josh quickly looked down at the notepad in front of him as she walked into the office.

"I'm leaving now."

"Okay." Josh looked up and smiled. "You'll be here tomorrow morning?"

"Josh tomorrow is Saturday. For once it would be nice to have one off.

Josh appeared to be considering this, "I don't know, there's important stuff going on. Laws passing, vetoing things. I might need you to be here just in case something happens."

Donna glared at him and walked toward the desk, as if preparing for battle. "Josh…"

He held of his hands, "I'm kidding. Take the day off. Have fun."

Donna relaxed, "Thanks, besides I have a date tomorrow."

Inwardly Josh could feel himself groaning. He knew he shouldn't say anything. "So whose the lucky gomer of the week?"

"He's actually a very nice guy. He's taking me on a picnic."

"Ooh, that's so romantic. Who does this guy think his is? You know what a picnic means." Josh looked up at Donna as if he had all the answers.

Donna sighed, "No Josh, what does it mean?"

"All he wants is for you to hop into bed with him faster. He thinks he can sweet-talk you into thinking he's a sweet guy so that you'll sleep with him. That's it."

Donna rolled her eyes and walked out the door. "Have a good weekend Josh," she called over her shoulder.

Josh watched her leave. Part of him feeling a little sick inside. He didn't know why but the thought of Donna sleeping with another guy made him want to… Well, he didn't know what it made him want to do but whatever it was would be very unlike a good Deputy Chief of Staff.

Leaning back in his chair it thought about it a little longer. He didn't know why he was always bothered by Donna being with other guys. Why he constantly felt the need to ruin her dates. He wondered if she felt the same way when he was with another woman. There had always been tension between her and Amy.

And truth be told, he had never actually met a lot of these guys. He had no idea if they were losers or not. But Josh liked to think they were. Dr. Freeride for instance. Josh knew that if he ever met the guy he'd have to invoke a lot of self-control not to punch the guy in the nose. Anyone, that would take advantage of Donna in such a way…

And then there was Cliff. He still remembered when Donna had first told him about her blind date. He had been furious. It was almost like a betrayal that Donna would date someone that he was fighting so hard against. And a Republican at that. He had yelled at her and told him she couldn't see him and then he had slammed the door and left her there standing in the bullpen. It had taken about ten minutes for him to cool down in his office, standing there with his back against the wall, thinking about Donna with Cliff, trying to convince himself that it was not just about Donna being with another guy.

And then she had to go and lie on the stand. About a diary no less. A diary to which he still had several photocopied pages to. Pages that he could never bring himself to actually look at. He wanted to hate Cliff. Wanted to hate him for dating Donna. Wanted to hate him for making things strained between two people that had for so long been in such sync. But in the end it had been Cliff who had saved Leo's ass. And as much as Josh wanted to hate Cliff, he couldn't.

But he could hate Jack Reese. And he did. From the moment they met in the oval office.

When Donna had asked him to talk to Jack, he hadn't taken her seriously, had laughed even, chalking it up to another one of her "crushes". And then the guy walked into the oval and suddenly Josh felt like everything had turned upside down. This was not one of the "local gomers" that he constantly made fun of her about. This was a high-ranking captain, who was young and good-looking. He had the charisma that Josh had always been told he lacked. And this was the guy that Donna liked.

So he had told him the stories, stories that he secretly cherished, about Donna and all her quirks. He couldn't deny that those stories were told to scare the guy off. But somehow they didn't and somehow Donna ended up going away for Christmas with Jack Reese.

Josh had always secretly liked Christmas, even if he didn't believe in the idea that it surrounded. But the lights and the festivity always drew a secret excitement out of him. Even if he could no longer listen to Christmas music. And the prospect of spending that time with Donna had been inviting. He had been excited about spending the night with her, even if it had been unintentional on his part to keep her there. So when Leo told him she had left, he had felt deflated and let down. But still he had not completely understood why.

After all, Donna was just his assistant. Okay, maybe not just an assistant. She was one of his closest friends. Someone that he had a connection with that extended beyond the bounds of explanation. But he still couldn't understand why he hated it when she dated other guys, why it pained him to think of her away for the weekend with Jack Reese.

And then there was the Inauguration. Josh had been secretly excited to hear that Jack was going to be leaving even though Donna was so upset. When he had heard what was said in the paper, he couldn't believe that it had been Donna, even after C.J. said she had admitted to it. So, when Danny showed him the whole article it didn't come as a shock. Just a relief to know the truth and to have a chance to go and get her.

She had looked amazing that night. When they had stood on the sidewalk that night Josh had felt something click in his brain. He was standing there talking to this woman that had grown so much from the day he met her. A woman that meant to world to him. A woman that he loved.

Suddenly all the pieces fit together. It was as if he could see clearly for the first time. That night had been a blur. She had sat on his lap in the cab and they had danced for the short amount of time that they were actually at the Balls. And then he had taken her home and they ended the night the same as they had started it. Standing on the stoop in front of her apartment.

If Josh had thought she looked beautiful the night before, she was even more so at that moment. Her eyes had that look of sleep in them; her hair was falling into her eyes. And he remembered how much he wanted to kiss her. But she had just given him a hug and run up the steps to her apartment.

After that he tried to distance himself. The precious few months had found them moving too close. He loved her. He knew that. But he couldn't do anything. He couldn't change what they had. He couldn't risk everything. He couldn't risk her not feeling the same way. And so he had pushed away. Back to Amy. Back to the way it had always been. They were friends. And they couldn't be anything more than that.

He just had to continue watching her walk out of here every night on her way to meet some guy, not saying anything, not admitting anything…

"Josh."

He looked up, surprised at C.J. as she stood in his doorway.

"Yeah."

She looked at him strangely as she walked in and sat down. "You okay? I've been standing there for about a minute and you didn't notice."

"Oh, yeah, I was just… thinking. Did you need something?" Josh changed the subject quickly not wanting his thoughts to be a topic of discussion.

"Yeah, listen, I've been talking to Leo. We've been trying to find someone to fill the position of Human Resources Assistant. Nancy Perkins decided to quit out of the blue and now we're stuck in a jam."

Josh looked at her inquisitively, "What exactly is the Human Resources Assistant?"

"They work with Pat Johnson. The Human Resources Director."

"Which is?"

C.J. looked exasperatedly at Josh, "You really have no clue what goes on around here, do you?"

"Not a clue." Josh smiled.

"Human Resources works along with the Communications Department. Just focusing more on the human aspect of things. When something happens, like a plane crash or a building exploding, they're the one's that are there for the families. Offering assistance. Like a support system from the White House."

"Okay, so why are you talking to me about this.? You're not offering me the job are you? Because that would be a step down for me."

C.J. rolled her eyes, "Not you, you idiot. Donna."

Josh stared at her for a moment, suddenly feeling like he was about to lose control of something. Swallowing he quickly replied, "I don't think that's something she has time for after everything she already does."

C.J. looked at him with an odd look in her eyes. Her words suddenly became gentler. "Josh, we would be offering Donna a promotion. She wouldn't be your assistant anymore."

Josh nodded slowly. "C.J. I…"

She wouldn't let him finish. "Josh, I know that you depend on Donna a lot. But Leo and I both think that this job would be perfect for her. She's always done so much better than the rest of us at dealing with the human side of things. It would be good for her. She's worked so hard these past five years. No one is going to deny her achievements. I think it might be time to let go."

Her words sank in and Josh found himself clenching the armrest of his chair. This was his Donna they were talking about. And now they wanted to take her away from him. The one person he seemed to always be able the count on. She kept him organized and functioning. He didn't know how to do it without her.

But he nodded anyway, "Yeah, okay."

C.J. looked at him sympathetically, "Josh, it would be good for her."

"Yeah."

C.J. stood up and walked out of the room glancing behind her one last time at Josh who was staring at his messy desktop, still clenching the armrest, as if to keep him from jumping up to tell her he had changed his mind.

Present

Josh and Donna stood outside Leo's door, waiting as Margaret told him that they were there. Donna looked over at Josh, with a look of trepidation on her face.

"You think he'll yell?"

Josh sighed, "Leo? Yeah, probably."

Donna nodded, "I'm scared."

"It will be okay. I'm telling you, now that you're no longer my assistant; this will be a lot easier. It could be worse."

"Maybe it is worse."

Josh looked at Donna in puzzlement, "What…"

Margaret interrupted, "You can go in now." She looked at them in curiosity, but for once kept her mouth shut as they went in.

Leo was standing behind his desk, a stern look on his face.

"Have a seat."

To be continued…

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