Author's Notes: Okay the usual paragraph long author notes.. Hehehe.. First lemme do thank-you's since I haven't done them yet and I think I need to:: Jane, for those impromptu commentaries and all the support in the world thanks!!! Susan, my new editor LOL How much do I have to pay?? Thanks, and when I am famous I get to go to the starting price of $ 67.00 and work my way up? You'll be there forever with my grammar and I"ll be broke!! LOL Thanks again! Kat, cause ya, your reviews are just always interesting... I still love the one you did a few weeks back with the sex and death.. that was great.. LOL And then my reviewers::: Canard, Lisa, Sk8terelle, ER-Carby-Luva, Luby-Connor-Lizzie, Nora-Imc, and Carbylobsterandavrilfan. Thank you guys so much for reviewing... I love the imput and I'm just working on fixing the story up a bit to your liking... And believe me.. LOL I'm a Carby at heart.. Just lately Carter has been pissing me off. Stupid Kem. But anyways.. LOL I hope you like this chapter, it's sorta short, but it sorta starts the plot moving!! And when you're done reading, please please please review!!! Thanks tons!!

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He signed off on his latest set of labs, and gave Jerry the nod that he was going to take a break. He hadn't sat down all morning and he felt as if his feet were going to fall off. He walked into the lounge and grabbed his coat. The weather was sunny, but a strong wind from the shore made everything ten degrees colder. He walked to the coffee shop across the street, and got himself some real coffee, not that mud that they had at the hospital. He started to walk, thinking about nothing in particular. He didn't know where he was headed, but he kept on walking. He passed Washington, and realized he was headed to their bench. Their bench, as in the place he and Abby would always either talk, or have coffee, or take a break. It was probably just habit. He walked down the stairs from the street, watching the boat pass down the river. He walked the half block or so, and even from that point, he could see someone was sitting down, alone, probably drowned in thoughts. He walked closer anyway, he wasn't planning on stopping or sitting, it just seemed like something to do, instead of hanging out at the hospital for so long. He saw it was her. She was playing with a cup of coffee, probably almost empty, starring out into space. He wanted to walk right behind her, not even saying a word, but his body thought differently. He headed over to the bench, and sat down next to her.

He looked at her, the same person he had left only a few months before. Nothing had physically changed about her, ignoring the dark bags under her eyes. Her eyes seemed red, like as if she had been... crying..? He leaned over a bit, trying to get her gaze. She seemed so out of it, like she didn't notice him. She most likely didn't. After a few seconds, she snapped out of, instinctively wiping at her eyes, letting her hair down to cover her face. She seemed so together lately, so happy. And now he realized that it might be a cover, a lie. But who ever knew the truth with Abby?

"Hey.."

He looked at her, she quickly sniffled.

"Hi."

He knew she had been crying. The sound of her voice said it all, it was unsteady and hesitant.

"Are you okay?"

He watched her nod her head, running her hand through her hair.

"Yeah. Something just got into my eye."

She was a bad liar. She always had been.

"Abby.."

He met gazes with her.

"I'm fine, Carter. But it's not like you should care anyway."

She sounded hurt and angry. Passing transgressions, he guessed. He had Kem hanging around yesterday, updating her on the latest procedures and test for the HIV/Aids situation in America.

"I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have had her here yesterday."

He watched her begin to shake her head.

"No. I"m happy for you. She seems like a wonderful person."

He saw that she was talking out into nothingness, so nonchalant in her voice. She seemed to be saying the words to be getting them out. But he hoped, no he knew she thought differently.

"I just.. I just don't want to loose our friendship.."

He heard a sigh escape from her.

"We can never just be friends. We both know that."

It might be a little awkward at first, but it could happen. He had Kem. He had no reason to want anyone, or anything else. She was everything he should have, and wanted. She was put together, she didn't have a crazy family, or moods. She talked and listened, she was, and always would be there. And Abby was just, so complicated. So everywhere and everything. He wanted to love her and hate her at the same time. But if he had to choose between Kem and Abby, he didn't know if he would be able to do it. But then again, that decision was already made for him. She was with Luka, and she seemed primarily happy. Or she was just leaning on him for support, and she was really falling apart. But no one would ever know. She hid everything well.

"We can try."

He saw her return to her usual pout, something he hadn't seen lately.

"We'll never have what we had."

He knew she was right, but he wanted to deny it for as long as possible.

"No one ever said friendship was easy..."

He saw her smirk a little.

"No. No one said a friendship with me was easy."

He watched her get up and start heading towards the stairs, back to the hospital. He got up, a few seconds after she had left, and started to jog after her. He grabbed her shoulder and stopped her.

"Just because... just because we didn't work out, doesn't mean that I don't care and worry about you.."

She tilted her head to the side, rolling her eyes.

"I'm here for you if you ever need me."

He saw her look out at the river, then back at him.

"Don't worry about me. I took up enough of your precious time already."

Her comments hurt. They were scathing. He let her go, and she walked away, not turning around.

He knew he made the right choice when he chose Kem. Abby would always be Abby, she would never change, as much as he wanted to believe. But he still had this deep inclination to go running after her, to stop her, to make her talk. But he knew that wasn't part of the deal anymore. He couldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to. Like AA meetings, or talking. And he knew Luka always meant well, but he couldn't get her to do any of it.

He threw his coffee into the trash bin and headed back to the hospital as well. He needed to talk to her. To make her understand he didn't hate her, or blame her. He just needed someone who would need him. Who would love him. She would always be special to him, more than he would admit. But Kem was who he wanted to be with. Kem loved him. Abby didn't.