Author's Notes: Short Chapter but I hope you like.. I promise something longer tomorrow, if I don't get to update tonight. I promise!! Thanks so much for the reviews!!! I'm in a hurry, so sorry everything is incredibly short!!
He opened the letter slowly, since the envelope itself was torn and dirty, probably been on countless journeys before reaching its final destination. He managed to pull the letter out, and he returned to the envelope. It was postmarked October 13th, 2003 Chicago, IL. He had been in Matenda then. A while away from Kinshasa. He wondered why he hadn't received it until now. It probably had been lost. But he had never been here at base for longer than a few minutes either. He should have gotten it before. He had been here, November? December? January? February? It was February and he was barely getting a letter from October. He returned back to opening the letter. The writing had a vague familiarity.
"Dr. Carter?"
He was drawn away from his letters. He looked up to see a young man standing in front of him.
"Yeah?"
He saw the man start summing up his sentences, his English probably broken.
"I am going back to Kisangani, and I was instructed to have you come with me."
He nodded his head and started to get up, shoving the envelope and letter in with the rest of his mail.
They reached the Jeep and started on their journey. It was a good six hours, if not more. He was still unsure how he would get to Matenda from Kisangani. He relaxed a bit and searched for the mysterious letter. He opened it once again, seeing the agility and grace of a woman's handwriting. Yet it wasn't only a woman's . . . It was Abby's. He instantly tensed up, sitting on the edge of his seat, his heart beating heavily. He needed to relax. The man looked at him, and he sank back down into his seat. He pulled the paper open and started to read.
John,
It's been about four weeks since your letter, and I am finally able to write this, and say thank-you. Your leaving helped me look at myself, at who I truly was. It helped me see I wanted more. I wanted to be the person you had always believed me to be. So I took a chance, and made some changes. I went back to medical school. That being my first goal. I wanted you to be the first one to know, you deserve as much. You're the one that helped me decide where I wanted my life to go. I owe a lot to you. The smoking stopped. It's been about two weeks already, and I'm pulling through. And the drinking. I swore I wouldn't when you left, and I had the worst craving. I wanted everything to go away. All the pain I was feeling. But I didn't. And I haven't. AA is part of my daily routine lately, and as funny as it sounds, it's helping . . .
I'm just babbling now, and I guess you probably don't care. I don't want this to be some quick fix, because I saw this truthfully, I'm finally doing this all for me. And only me. I'm not going to give myself the excuse 'it's all for Carter' because you're worth so much more. And what you said was true. I am strong, but I didn't believe it until now. You were also wrong. I need you. You're the one person who gave me strength, who stood by me. You said not to wait for you, but it's hard not to. I would wait forever, if it would mean we would be together again. Us. Like we were before. I don't want to lose you, you are, after all, my best friend.
I don't' know why I"m writing this. I guess it's because I don't have you to talk to over coffee. I'm not asking you to come home, or force yourself to be with me. I just want to know, is there hope for us? I really don't see myself saying this to you, but I am. Please don't give up. But if you already have, I understand. There was nothing about me that seemed so appealing. You'll find someone and I hope she treats you well, and that you're finally happy. I just, I need to know if you'll be in my future. I've held my life on hold for too long, I need to get it up and running again. I'd wait for you. But I need to know if you want me to. I can't keep on giving myself false hope, I need to face reality. Tell me what I'm supposed to do. If I don't hear from you, I understand you want me out of your life. You have no reason to want me in it anyway. But I'll never forget you. Thank you.
Abby
He opened the letter slowly, since the envelope itself was torn and dirty, probably been on countless journeys before reaching its final destination. He managed to pull the letter out, and he returned to the envelope. It was postmarked October 13th, 2003 Chicago, IL. He had been in Matenda then. A while away from Kinshasa. He wondered why he hadn't received it until now. It probably had been lost. But he had never been here at base for longer than a few minutes either. He should have gotten it before. He had been here, November? December? January? February? It was February and he was barely getting a letter from October. He returned back to opening the letter. The writing had a vague familiarity.
"Dr. Carter?"
He was drawn away from his letters. He looked up to see a young man standing in front of him.
"Yeah?"
He saw the man start summing up his sentences, his English probably broken.
"I am going back to Kisangani, and I was instructed to have you come with me."
He nodded his head and started to get up, shoving the envelope and letter in with the rest of his mail.
They reached the Jeep and started on their journey. It was a good six hours, if not more. He was still unsure how he would get to Matenda from Kisangani. He relaxed a bit and searched for the mysterious letter. He opened it once again, seeing the agility and grace of a woman's handwriting. Yet it wasn't only a woman's . . . It was Abby's. He instantly tensed up, sitting on the edge of his seat, his heart beating heavily. He needed to relax. The man looked at him, and he sank back down into his seat. He pulled the paper open and started to read.
John,
It's been about four weeks since your letter, and I am finally able to write this, and say thank-you. Your leaving helped me look at myself, at who I truly was. It helped me see I wanted more. I wanted to be the person you had always believed me to be. So I took a chance, and made some changes. I went back to medical school. That being my first goal. I wanted you to be the first one to know, you deserve as much. You're the one that helped me decide where I wanted my life to go. I owe a lot to you. The smoking stopped. It's been about two weeks already, and I'm pulling through. And the drinking. I swore I wouldn't when you left, and I had the worst craving. I wanted everything to go away. All the pain I was feeling. But I didn't. And I haven't. AA is part of my daily routine lately, and as funny as it sounds, it's helping . . .
I'm just babbling now, and I guess you probably don't care. I don't want this to be some quick fix, because I saw this truthfully, I'm finally doing this all for me. And only me. I'm not going to give myself the excuse 'it's all for Carter' because you're worth so much more. And what you said was true. I am strong, but I didn't believe it until now. You were also wrong. I need you. You're the one person who gave me strength, who stood by me. You said not to wait for you, but it's hard not to. I would wait forever, if it would mean we would be together again. Us. Like we were before. I don't want to lose you, you are, after all, my best friend.
I don't' know why I"m writing this. I guess it's because I don't have you to talk to over coffee. I'm not asking you to come home, or force yourself to be with me. I just want to know, is there hope for us? I really don't see myself saying this to you, but I am. Please don't give up. But if you already have, I understand. There was nothing about me that seemed so appealing. You'll find someone and I hope she treats you well, and that you're finally happy. I just, I need to know if you'll be in my future. I've held my life on hold for too long, I need to get it up and running again. I'd wait for you. But I need to know if you want me to. I can't keep on giving myself false hope, I need to face reality. Tell me what I'm supposed to do. If I don't hear from you, I understand you want me out of your life. You have no reason to want me in it anyway. But I'll never forget you. Thank you.
Abby
