Chapter 35

AN: I am SO sorry minna for taking so very long to get this chapter out. I promise though, I have really good reasons. First: Midterms, nuff said. Second, Halloween, which while not a real excuse for some, is for me cause I live in the Halloween capital of the Universe and 50,000 people came to town this year, and they all came to my work! I had bearly time to breathe, let alone write. And thirdly, not an excuse but rather, something I'm going to preen about.

I am very very proud to announce that 'Through the Ancient Well' now has a co-author, one of the best writers I have ever met, Emania! *applauds* She is amazing and pointing out and adding suggestions that truly capture the essence of my characters! Not only that, but I have been honored and asked to co-author her newest venture "For all that we know". I can't wait till we finish the first chapter for all of you, I KNOW this will be an alltime favorite!

As for review comments, I think it would be TOO time consuming to respond to all of them today, which I apologize, but I will acknowledge everyone who responded to me. Your reviews are incredible, and I'm so glad you are all loving where this story is going. I apologize again for the cliffhangers, but I will try to avoid them in the few chapters this story has left!

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"Francesca", I heard whispering to me, and felt a gentle hand on my forehead. I opened my eyes and looked into deep brown familiar eyes.

"We were worried about you", she whispered gently and I slowly sat up, looking at the sea of faces that were watching me.

"Who are all these people," I whispered.

"We are your past," they echoed in unison and I stared at them. None of them looked familiar. They stretched as far as I could see, most with faces very blurred and unrecognizable. There was the boy from my most recent memory, and when I caught his eye, he grinned and waved furiously at me. I blinked and waved back slowly. From the front of the group, a very handsome man, with sandy blond hair that just brushed his shoulder line. His hazel eyes shone green as he gave me a soft and secretive smile. I quickly looked away. There were newer faces before me; Keitaro, Maeko, Naoko, Kaemon, Mistero and Kirara. They were at the front of the sea, and all watched me with passive looks on their faces. They were not trying to get my attention, I remembered them. Seeing Keitaro there gave me a feeling of security, until his head turned and I saw the gaze he gave the handsome man. Something about the look that shifted on his face gave me cold shivers. It was something dark and angry.

"Who are you?" I asked, turning back to the woman at my side. In response she gave me a sad smile.

"I cannot tell you, you will have to remember for yourself. We have been calling out to you, from deep inside, but you keep pushing us down. You are fearful of your memories, why?"

I blinked and frowned, crossing my arms over my chest, "I am not fearful of my memories, I've been trying to remember as well! I just can't!"

"Or perhaps you won't," came another voice, the handsome young man. I watched him surface from the crowd and step forward. Something about his beautifully painful face caused an ache to strike me in my chest and I stepped away from him. He simply nodded, and stepped back.

"I am one of the reasons you run, you wish to forget me, but it was my memories that have shaped the person you became, the person that Keitaro found and freed."

I looked around at everyone, and placed a hand to my head, "So many faces, how could I possibly try and learn all of you? I have to leave, "I looked over my shoulder nervously, "I have to get back to my friends, they need me. If the Sorrow strike again-"

"If the Sorrow strike again, and you have all this pain still hidden inside your heart, they will be able to use you again against the others. They sensed your weakness, your suffering, even if you didn't. After all, that is what they do," came the woman beside me. I sat down on the ground, pulling my knees to my chest.

"I don't know if I can do this," I said, my voice shaking. The woman knelt and put her arm around my shoulder. I looked into her chestnut brown eyes, something about the emotion I saw there making me feel like I could finally give voice to the question deep in my heart. "Why me? Why am I the only one to stop them? Why am I all alone?"

"You are not alone," the woman assured me. "You have us, you have Keitaro, you have your friends." Her soft fingers gently raised my chin to meet her eyes. "Heroes never ask to be heroes, but inside they know that they must do what is required of them. I cannot tell you why you were chosen, but I do know that you have the power inside, the strength inside to survive this ordeal."

I smiled softly, "You sound like my-" I froze and stared at her, as I began to feel pulled back away from them.

"Wait! Wait,' I tried to step towards her, but already she was drifting away. I reached out my hand, "Mamma, Mamma aspetta!" I cried out, "Mamma, wait!" I felt tears slide down my cheeks as I surfaced from the abyss and my eyes shot open.

"Mamma!" I gasped. Everyone was staring at me, and I began to get the feeling a lot. I jumped to my feet, looking around wildly.

"The Sorrow, where are they," I whispered as I felt Kei's hand on my shoulder.

"Gone, we think. What did you do?" he asked softly and I bowed my head.

"Nothing, I couldn't do anything. I failed," I said dejectedly, as I walked to our horses. He ran back to my side and grabbed my arm.

"Wait, what do you mean, you couldn't do anything?" he asked worriedly, and I bitterly pulled my arm from his grip.

"Just what I said, I couldn't do anything. I failed all of you, if it wasn't for some fluke chance of luck that they left, you would all be dead, and it would all be my fault," I felt hot tears sting my eyes, but I looked away, and resisted the urge to wipe at them. "Maybe I'm not really what we need, lets just get up in those mountains and find the witch, and pray that she knows what to do."

I moved away from Kei before his pain could touch me, and quickly pulled myself up on the horse. Everyone followed my example, except Keitaro who simply walked with us towards the base of the mountain, never even looking at me. I was hurt, but I didn't blame him. He probably realized now what a mistake he had made, choosing to remain with a coward like myself.

I bowed my head, letting the horse follow its friends, as I simply rested. I was weary, both in head, heart and body, and I didn't want to fight anymore. I kept reflecting over what I saw in my dream. Was I really fighting my memories? What could be inside them that frightened me so? Was it through then? Was I really some horrible person?

I lifted my head and saw that we were headed towards the village, and I pulled my mount to a stop, catching everyone's attention.

"No," I said softly, and saw everyone turn to look at me. I slowly turned and pointed to the base of the mountain, "We can't afford to waste any more time, we need to get going."

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather rest, Francesca?" Aki asked, her eyes full of concern and pity, and deep inside I felt a surge of anger. They were treating me like a child, like a baby and I wouldn't have it.

"You can rest, I'm going," I snapped and pulled my horse harshly to the side, taking off in a swift gallop towards the mountains. I felt my horse balk and an arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me off the saddle. I pulled against Kei's grip, but he was made of stone, and wouldn't budge.

"Rose, calm yourself," he hissed in my ear and it made me even angrier.

"Calm, how can I be calm? Those things are targeting me now, they're after me! I'm not going anywhere near that village if I can help it, the less people injured because of me, the better it is for everyone. Especially all of you!"

They all stared at me, and I stopped struggling, but Kei never let me go. I think he knew, as I did, that I would run again if he let me free.

"We made the choice to join you Francesca, we knew the risks but we promised to stand by your side through this, reme-" Kaemon began and quickly shut his mouth.

"No, I don't remember! I've tried and tried and tried to remember, but it's useless. Now I have strange images in my dreams telling me that I don't WANT to remember, that I'm afraid of my memories!"

Kei's grip loosened enough that I caught him off guard and pulled free. Never in the few memories that I had experienced had I felt such anger and frustration and fury, and now that the floodgates were open I couldn't close them. A small part of me prayed that my friends would forgive me this as I screamed at them, but my hands clenched tightly into balled fists regardless.

'What am I so afraid of? There's something that you've been keeping from me, I know it. There has got to be something that I'm afraid of remembering, something that I don't want to happen or I don't want to remember happening! Did I kill someone? Am I some sort of monster? What is it? What is so horrible about me that I don't want to remember it?"

I stared at them, at the looks of disbelief and confusion in their eyes, and slowly above all that emotion, a slow trickle of guilt arose. From the one place I had feared it might and prayed it wouldn't. I spun on my heel to face Keitaro, who stared at me, his eyes holding a swell of emotion behind them.

"You!" I hissed, and stepped forward, grabbing the collar of his haori, "You told me from the beginning that you had my memories, and you wanted to give them back, but there's something you didn't tell me, for all the talks we had, everything you tried to get me to remember, you left something out, didn't you?"

I heard Maeko's sharp intake of breath, "Kei, please tell us that-" she whispered and I saw Keitaro bow his head.

"I was afraid," he admitted slowly, "You were already so disheartened by everything that had happened, and that the memories I told to you weren't triggering anything, I was afraid that if I told you this, you would lose the hope you clung to."

"What!" I demanded, releasing his haori and taking a step back, bracing myself.

"You, you're not from here Francesca, you come from a place far, far away," he said softly, and I felt my heart drop from my throat to my chest again, relief swelling inside me.

"That's it?" I asked, my voice shaking from laughter, "No dark secret, no hidden past, just that I'm not native? I knew that, the hair was a dead giveaway," I said laughing as I turned away from him.

"You can't go home," he said, catching my ear, and the relief died away to a sharp pain. I turned slowly to look at him as he continued, "You tried to return, but you couldn't. No one knows how you came here in the first place, but the way you came has since closed, and no one has the power to open it."

I stared at him, and felt a sad smile creep over my lips, "I guess then having no memories is a good thing, so I can just start new here," I said softly walking back over to my horse.

"Night will be falling soon, we should get up as far as we can before making camp," I suggested and watched as they all simply stared at me. I blushed and gave them all a brave smile, "I'm fine minna, really! I'm sorry for my outburst, it must have been a little bit of the Sorrow that attacked me." I glanced at Keitaro, "You can ride with me if you want," I offered softly.

"If you want," he replied and I felt the emotional bond between us begin to fade a little. I blinked in surprise and quickly stepped forward, grabbing his hand. The connection sparked again and I smiled gently as his eyes drifted from our joined hands back to me again. There was something in his eyes I couldn't understand, and I didn't have much time to dwell on it because he closed the gap between us, pulled me into his arms and kissed me.

I felt my knees buckle with the power behind that kiss, the apology behind it, and the forgiveness he was asking of me. I lifted my arms and wrapped them around his neck, pulling the kiss deeper in my own response. I couldn't stay angry with him, he was only trying to do what he thought was in my best interest. The longer I thought about it, or perhaps it was because of the attentions his lips were giving me, I began to feel the old anger fade away.

We heard polite coughing behind us and very slowly, painfully, I felt his lips separate from mine. I didn't need to look at our friends to feel the embarrassment and giddiness that I was sure was radiating from their faces. Kei glanced up over my shoulder and he smiled mischievously, before quickly grabbing me around the waist, and lifted me up into the saddle, following behind with liquid swiftness. I felt one of his arms wrap securely around my waist, and I leaned back into his strong chest. It was calming for me, to have him so close and as we started up the trail, I realized how lucky I was that no matter what we faced and were to face, we would always face it together.

We all rode in silence for a while, just enjoying the path before us, and the scenery. Most importantly I could tell that they were all thinking about the near future, what we would face. And there, in the back of their minds, the worry over what happened this morning to me. I looked down at my hands sadly, they were right. I knew that I had to resolve this memory issue and very soon. I couldn't afford to be a liability to everyone anymore.

After a while, Aki seemed to notice the underlying tension and broke out into a silly cheerful little song. Everyone stared at her as she kept singing, and we all began to sing along.

((AN: I came up with this idea from Fruits Basket, from a song Momiji sings. It's silly and repetitive and made up, but its so cute!!))

Keitaro's soft tenor purred against my back, and Maeko and I carried a soft soprano touch. Kaemon had a surprisingly low voice, almost a bass that melded very appropriately to Aki's alto. Naoko had a higher pitch than his brother, but not quite the velvet smooth tenor of Kei, it was still very impressive.

It worked, we were all laughing at the silliness of the words, and each of us made up our own strange lyrics, causing the rest of the group to burst into hysterics. Finally we ran out of things to say, and besides the fact we were all nearly doubled over painfully from laughing so hard.

"Francesca, sing something for us," Maeko requested and I blushed.

"I don't know," I whispered and she twisted around to look at me.

"You have a beautiful voice," she said, "You even sang a wonderful song for Keitaro," she commented.

"Well, we think it was wonderful, " piped up Kaemon cheekily, "It was in that strange language you know, but judging by the look on Keitaro's face it was something very special." He laughed, joined by his brother. Kei straightened behind me.

"I did?" I asked and felt his chin rest on my shoulder.

"They don't know what it meant but it was very-"he purred in my ear," very special to me indeed."

I opened my mouth and felt my voice catch in my throat. My whole body was vibrating with excitement at the tone of his voice, and I slowly closed my mouth. I tried to keep my face as neutral as possible under the onslaught to my tactile nerves, but Maeko at least must have realized something because she grinned slyly at me.

"Brother, you shouldn't do that to her," Maeko teased, "or poor Francesca will never speak again." Everyone stopped to grin at us. I was blushing furiously, and I felt Keitaro's grip around my waist tighten. Surprisingly, he wasn't upset, instead he was glowing with pride and pleasure and the warmth transferred to me as well.

"I don't remember any songs," I admitted softly and everyone's faces slipped into regret, but Keitaro just kissed the side of my neck, squeezing me gently.

"That's alright, we shall just have to teach you new ones," he replied and I smiled.

Perhaps there was a good side to all this. Here I was presented with a clean slate, a white canvas onto which I could make my life anew, a second chance, a fresh start, a new beginning to my life.

As soon as it was too dark to see our way, we pulled off the path and found an open section beneath some trees. Kei went hunting and Naoko and Kaemon went to find some dry wood.

The girls and I cleared away any brush, making a neater place to start our fire and once the guys returned with the wood, I set about building a very warm and inviting fire.

"Well Lady Francesca," said Kaemon rising to his feet. "It is time for your nightly lesson."

I sighed, "Do we have to tonight?"

He grinned, "You were the one who insisted on it, and I do not intend to give up on a student, no matter how her beauty may- ow ow ow!" he exclaimed as Naoko grabbed him by the ear and pulled him back to reality.

"Now dear brother, you would not be attempting anything improper toward our cousin's mate, would you?"

Kaemon feigned hurt, "Brother, you would assume such a thing of me?"

Everyone grew quiet and seemed very uneasy and only my laughter echoed in the night. I quickly fell silent and glanced at them curiously. Kaemon quickly motioned with his hand, "Come, before Keitaro returns with dinner and steals your time from me."

I smiled and rose, following him to the edge of the clearing where he handed me a staff. I nodded, glad he wasn't going to try and improve my archery. Maeko had tried for a few days, but I just couldn't master the arrow without injuring myself. Maeko had sighed wistfully remarking that it was a shame since I could have used the threat of pinning Kei to a tree if he argued with me. Kei immediately chased after his sister seeking revenge.

Kaemon stood before me, and I mirrored his stance, knees parallel with my shoulders, arms straight ahead, clutching the staff with both hands firmly.

"Attack," he spoke calmly and I nodded. Normally he had me on the defensive, so I tried to use some of the same attacks he had used on me. I twisted my arms, bringing the staff end downwards, and he easily blocked that move, so I brought the other end around and up, and he knocked it out of the way. Again and again, I came at him, trying in any way to get past his defenses, but with the simplest of ease he knocked my staff away.

"You're not thinking," he said sternly.

I frowned, "Of course I'm thinking," I said, seeing an opening and moving for it, but just as soon as it was there, it was gone.

"No, you're not," he challenged. "If you were thinking, you'd be hitting me instead of my stick. Now think," he ordered and I bit my lip, coming at him faster. My temper began to flare against my will, nothing I was trying was working, and I had done so well blocking him the past few days.

"Don't get angry," he chastised. "Watch your opponent, see what move they're going to make before they make it," he barked and I narrowed my eyes.

"How am I supposed to do that? I'm no mind reader," I yelled back.

Swiftly, as he blocked another attempt, he stepped at me, and hooked his staff beneath my knees knocking me onto my back. The tip of his staff came down and rested on my throat, and I stared up at him.

"Then you're dead," he said simply. "In battle you need to watch everything about your opponent, every slight movement they make." In one precise move, the staff was away from my neck and resting unobtrusively at his side. "Everyone thinks about the move they're going to make a second before doing so, you need to see every sign they give you, and anticipate it."

I stared up at him from the dirt and pulled myself to my feet, holding my staff in the ready position. He nodded and I came at him again, like I did before, but as I moved, I felt my senses extend, brushing against him as I tried one move then the other. It was difficult trying to concentrate on what my body was doing, while still trying to read his emotions. His eyes revealed nothing nor did his body give away any future movements. He was a trained solider, and he knew how to stop me from reading him, in all ways but one. I stepped forward again, without swinging my staff, and watched as his mind went from calm and collected to confused for half a second. It was that half a second I needed, as a suggestion brushed my senses, and as he stepped towards me to knock me down again, I stepped away from his attack and brought my staff down, hitting his hand, and knocking the staff from it.

I heard applause from the fire, and smiled warmly, turning to bow towards the girls, when I felt something sly brush my senses. I jammed the staff into the ground, using the momentum to give me lift, as I smoothly avoided his next attempt at my knees. As I went up, I kicked my legs back, catching him in the chest and shoving him backwards, and as soon as my feet reached the ground again, I was facing him, staff ready for his next attack. He laughed at me from the ground.

"No, no, I think that's enough for tonight," he grinned, and I extended a hand to him, helping him up to his feet, my own smile lighting up the night around me. I had done it; I had begun to master this strange ability I had. I couldn't wait to tell Kei-. I blinked and looked around quickly, and in a panic, stretched out my senses. I couldn't feel Kei.

In the days that had past, I began to notice a second sense within me, something that was always aware of him, of his feelings and his moods, even if I couldn't see him. It was a part of me, and all I needed to do was think of him, and I would feel the connection. Now, there was nothing. It was rather like losing your voice, you open your mouth and do everything you should, but no sound comes out.

"I've got dinner," I heard cheerfully behind me, and turned around to stare at him. He was right in front of me, holding a large wild bird by the feet with a smile on his face, and yet I still couldn't sense him.

"Rose, are you alright?" I heard him ask me, and I quickly put on a fake smile.

"Oh? Yes, I'm fine. Just still a bit shaky from tonight's beating, I must have hit the dirt harder than I thought," I said, and saw the dark look cross his face. "Don't worry! I'm fine," I insisted. "I wasn't paying attention was all."

Kei reached out and wrapped an arm around my waist, leading me over to the fire. I saw Aki watching me silently, but when I looked in her direction, she quickly looked away. Something in her gaze worried me, as if she could see into my heart, and knew my thoughts. I took a seat beside Kei, and looked down at my hands, all the while fumbling inside, trying to find that sense of him, but all I could feel were his emotions on the surface, warmth when he laughed, protectiveness when he looked at his sister and her love, and annoyance when Mistero made a play at some of the dinner. That was all though, nothing else struck me, affected me as that link had.

After a while I began to feign weariness, and when I grabbed a blanket and curled up in the shadows of a tree, no one questioned me. I didn't sleep, however. Instead, I waited, listening to their conversations, the teasing, the jokes, until one by one they each made their ways to their own sleeping places and settled down. I heard a rustling above me, and was aware of the vigilant eye of Keitaro in the tree above me. Damnit, that would make what I had planned even more difficult.

I couldn't stay here. I knew that I was only causing them more danger than they needed to be in somewhere between the attack and dinner, I had made up my mind to leave them, and travel up the mountain alone. I also knew the slightest movement on my part would have Kei awake and stopping me.

I began slowing down my breathing even more than the rhythmic pattern I had adopted since I laid down, and concentrated. I reached out with my senses, as I was getting used to doing, and very faintly brushed his. As gently as I could, without giving him a sense of alarm, I began to project sleep, and exhaustion, weariness and a sense of comfort, anything that could come to my mind to make his eyes heavy and get him to fall asleep. He resisted at first, and I was afraid he would figure out my ploy, but as time wore on, my suggestions began to stick, and I felt his mind slip into sleep. I carefully checked everyone else and made sure their sleep was just as deep, especially Mistero and Kirara before I peeled away my blanket and carefully rose to my feet, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders for extra warmth.

I stepped into the ink of the night, and carefully took small steps, waiting until my eyes adapted to the lack of light. The new moon was but one night away, and so I had naught but a hair's sliver in the sky to guide me. I knew the Empathy would be useless to help me see my way, so I carefully stepped through the vegetation covered grounds, trying to avoid any falling sticks or sharp rocks. By some miracle of luck, I found the path through the woods, and began to walk up the hill.

The air around me grew colder, and a sharp wind swirled around me, heavy with the scent of snow and cold, and I shivered despite myself. I glanced down the path I had traveled, and was amazed at the distance I had covered. Up here, looking down past the line of vegetation and trees, to where I knew my friends were still sleeping, made me understand that no matter where exactly I had come from, I had indeed come a long way in more ways than one. Another burst of wind surrounded me, this one carrying flecks of snow that were reflected in the pale light of the stars, and tickled my nose as they landed on my face.

I sighed, and realized that I needed to rest myself, I had put enough space between us to keep them safe for the rest of the night, and at first light, I would be able to cover more ground, so when I found a small enclave in the side of the mountain, I crawled inside. Although the entranceway was small, it opened up into a cavern of decent size. I curled up against the wall, wrapping the blanket around me tightly and fell into a deep, silent sleep.

I was awoken some time later by a very violent jerk, and I opened my eyes wide as I found myself lifted in the air. Two very angry golden eyes were staring at me, and I could see the snort of air from his nose.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" he yelled at me, his voice echoing through the walls. I flinched and tried to pull away from his grip, but it was stone stiff. Instead, I clenched my teeth as he shook me again, before setting me down on the ground.

"Don't you know the million things that wander the woods at night would fight just to get a piece of you? And those are only the youkai! Do you know what happens to women traveling alone in the dead of night?"

I grimaced, I did know, but I lifted my chin, "Better that, then what else is following me, no matter the time of day nor the company I keep."

He stared at me, "Will you listen to yourself?" I turned my head, and found it forcefully turned back, "What possessed you to run off again?! "

"I didn't want you to get hurt," I cried out angrily, and saw the surprise hit him, "You almost got killed this morning, the Sorrow could have gotten to you as well. I can't have that, I couldn't bear if you-" my voice caught in my throat, but I pushed back the lump of emotion. "I couldn't bear if you got hurt because of me! I love you too much!"

He stared at me hard before releasing my shoulders and pulling me into a strong hug. I bit my lip to keep from crying as he slowly released me.

"How can I be so angry with you when you say the words I've been aching to hear for weeks now?" he asked on a whisper bowing his head to kiss me gently. I sighed against his lips and returned the kiss. After a few moments, we parted, but only minimally, I couldn't bear to leave the warmth of his arms. His hands traced the curve of my spine, resting on the small of my back tenderly.

His touch sent my emotions soaring, even more than his kiss had. My empathy had long since given up trying to distinguish between my emotions and his, but my heart still ached and the love my empathy touched and my eyes saw only made the hole in my heart gape all the wider. I missed feeling him share that inner part of me I hadn't known I could ever share with anyone, but even more than that, I yearned for it. My soul cried out in pain for the loss of its other half and I felt the tears sting my eyes. "Kei," I whispered, trying to keep the tears from my voice, the raw need, but I knew he could feel the emotion in it anyway.

He looked into my eyes, and I saw the shock of understanding darken his eyes to the color of molten gold. "Are you sure?"

I nodded my head, and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling his head down to mine for another kiss. This time, when our lips touched, it wasn't a mere kiss, it was so very much more. He didn't have to ask whether or not I wanted him to share the mark with me again, I made it plain in every movement of my body, every touch, every caress and every unspoken word of my emotions how very much I needed him. And as time progressed, and as our souls and bodies became one, I realized something:

I had found my fear, just as sure as I found my memories in that precious time, and as the images and voices, and faces filtered back into my head, and I was reminded of all that I had forgotten, one truth stood out above the rest. For when this mission was over, when my duty to rid the world of the Sorrow was completed, I may have to face the painful truth that I would have to leave his side, that I might never see him again. The fear that had kept me in the dark for these past trials was the thought that I might lose the most precious thing to me, my soul mate.