Author's Notes: Double update today because I left a cliffhanger and I didn't feel like leaving a cliffhanger and torturing people even more than they should be. I hope you like this chapter... It's a bit, shocking.. I guess.. The three people that have read it so far have loved it so I hope you will too.. So please read and review!!! Thanks to Kat, because you are just the absolute best!!! And to everyone who I talk to and supports me, because I have alot of them!! Thanks so much... So just please review!!?

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He could feel the weight of a life on his shoulders. He should have stayed, he should have had some type of influence, or at least given a chance to decide. Everything he ever wanted had been ripped away. He had gone off to Africa to be with Kem, to form a family and be happy. This family was formed without his consent, and destroyed likewise. He could have had everything he ever wanted if he had only been stupid enough to stay. He had been stupid for not staying. She might have even known then. And he ignored her cries for him to stay, to talk. She had probably known even back then. He looked down at her. He didn't know what he was supposed to feel.

"Why?"

His voice was sulky, a quiet whisper, only heard by her.

"Do you really think that I would be able to raise a child on my own?"

Her voice was an unmoving monotone, she held no regard for the two lives she had taken away.

"When?"

Did any of these questions matter anymore? Everything was over. There was no way to turn back time.

"When you left the second time . . . "

His suspicions had been justified. She had known, begged him to stay for the sake of this baby and he disregarded her like a piece of worthless baggage dragging him down to the ocean floor.

"You should have written, called, sent a message . . . Something . . . "

He knew the stacks were against him back in the Congo, a simple phone call took days to plan, a letter waited weeks to be delivered. He needed some reassurance that this wasn't all his fault. He was failing miserably.

"Just like the letter I got from you, right?"

He regretted it, he should have done it sooner, but he felt like he couldn't go on living this lie with her. He wanted to be let free again, like this relationship had handcuffed him to the bow of a ship and he was soon going to drown. A letter was the only way he could have done, no phones, no computers, nothing. A simple letter on the last scraps of paper he could find was the only way he could let her go.

"You should have respected me enough to tell me."

She rolled her eyes, as if she was talking about killing his dog or something.

"You had a new life and made it perfectly clear to me that I wasn't going to be a part of it."

He saw the instant hurt on her face, trying to act tough, as if this does not bother her. He knew it caused her many sleepless nights and many tears. She just wants to erase it from her memory. It's not that simple. It's a human life.

"I would have come back."

He heard her chair screech against the floor, and she was standing at the farthest end of the room in a matter of seconds.

"And what then? Forced yourself to stay with me? Forced yourself to love me?"

As much as he wished it was so, it wasn't. He would never have to force himself to love her. He kept on forcing himself to forget her, to leave her, to stop loving her. None of the attempts were successful.

"I would never have to force myself to do that."

She started toward him, the control of the situation lost from between her fingers. He could tell she was getting defensive, angry.

"You're lying. Get out. It was my decision."

It wasn't just her decision. It should have been his too, a mutual one.

"It should have been my fucking decision too!"

She's inches away from him. He can feel her rage radiating onto him.

"Well be thankful that your daughter doesn't have to go through this hell."

He felt his heart skip a beat. He had a daughter for a brief few weeks. He had someone he could have loved. But he lost her. He lost the two women he loved most in the world.

"A daughter?"

His voice comes out a squeak, a different tone that the rest of the screaming.

"Yeah."

She had her arms wrapped around her, her voice also settled for that brief second. Regret was at the top of their minds.

"It's not fair, Abby."

She shrugged her shoulders, giving him a look that sent chills down his spine.

"No. You know what isn't fair? Leaving me . . . Breaking promises . . . Dumping me in a letter . . . Bringing home your fiancee to rub in my face . . . What would you have done? Ditched her for me? I doubt it. I would have gotten some I'm sorry look and a check in the mail every month . . . I went through it. I'm not putting my child through it."

He saw the past hurt resurfacing, her horrible childhood. He wanted to take her in his arms and make everything go away, and at the same time he wanted to make her suffer like he was for the rest of his life.

"Why do you assume the worst?"

She rolls her eyes again. Her simple ritual speaks more than any words can.

"Because nothing good ever happens to me! You should know this by now . . . "

His hands instinctively went up, he's done. He can't handle this situation. It's a repeat of the beginning of the end, except in a harsher reality.

"You haven't changed one bit."

She runs her hand through her hair, taking a breath.

"I've accepted reality."

He's shocked. He's absolutely shocked at this change in her. What happened to the cheerful and enthusiastic doctor he had known since his return? This was the demented version of Abby had left months before. The worst possible one.

"I wouldn't have left my child. Hell, you could have thrown her on my doorstep and I wouldn't have once doubted you."

Her expression starts to soften, her pout becoming prevalent.

"You say that now."

They have both somehow found themselves in the living room, she's sitting on the couch, he's pacing the floor.

"It's the truth!"

Why can't he ever get through to her, it's worse than getting through a brick wall.

"I don't care. It's over with and done. You can't go back."

It can never just be forgotten. It will haunt the both of them for ages to come. The life he could have had, the mistakes he made that jeopardized everything. He could have been happy, now it's a vague memory. No where seems right anymore. Africa seemed so hopeless, and Chicago is too confusing.

"What? It doesn't bother you that you killed your own child?"

She cringes, her body starting to be rolled up into a ball. He walks up to her, she's beginning to give up, to be silent and wait for him to leave. His arm goes out reflexively as if pulling her back into reality, getting a firm grip and pulling her tempestuously to her feet in front of him. A whimper of discomfort came from her throat, yet she said nothing. He wanted her to hurt. He wanted to make her feel everything he was, both mentally and physically. Her limp body was no match for his grasp, he could have twisted her and pushed her every way and he would be met with no resistance.

"Don't you give a damn?!?!"

He saw her eyes finally becoming human, rimming with tears. Her gaze was straight out at nothing in particular. Her face was pale, distant. Her breathing quickened, he could sense the fall coming. The thoughts would register deep into her mind, her conscience. Everything would come crashing down and leaving him to pick up the pieces.

"You're a murderer."

He saw the first mounds of salty tears begin to collapse. Her body started to shake, his grip on her still strong, holding her up, digging into her pale skin. Her body began to curl, her head searching for something to hold on to, someone to comfort her. He wasn't taking that responsibility. He let go of her, her body giving a lifeless thump on the carpet floor. Her blonde hair streamed across her face, sobs shook her, leaving her gasping for air. Her coughing did little to rustle him from watching the scene unfold. He felt no pity for her. She was worth no sympathy. He glanced one last time at her, the woman he used to love. He saw nothing but hate for her. He walked out the door, slamming it behind him. She was the biggest mistake of his life. Yet he still had to restrain himself from going back inside and taking her into his arms. He would have made the world disappear had he wanted to. But he didn't. She deserves to languish in her misery and pain, but at least she knows the reasons why.