That Damn Evans

Chapter Six

Its been a week now since Lily told me she was pregnant. And I was still contemplating my decision. I mean how do you cope with the idea that a decision rests on in your hands. And that no matter what decision you choose, there are going to be concequences, changed lives, life altering concequences. How do you agree to raise a child with the woman that you love, who was fathered by some ex-boyfriend of hers, that you cant stand, that shouldnt even be classified as a human being. What if the child turned out like him. Or worse what if the child grew up to be like me?

But if I really loved Lily, could I just leave her? Abandon her when she came to me for help. Asking for me to help raise her child. What could I do? If my feelings were real then I should already know the answer, I do already know the answer. I've known it ever since she asked me. I guess I've just been avoiding it because its a serious serious decision. Probably the most important of any decision concerning Lily I could ever make.

I was sweating bullets. This was it. Tonight I would tell Lily what I've decided. Just suck it all up and hope for the best. Thats all I can do for now, until the moment is upon me I gotta suck it up and be a man. She was looking at me, with her deep emerald eyes. They seemed to always stare into me at the most inconvienent times, and just kind of pounce on me and trap me, where I'm lost forever in them.Snap out of it James. "Lily, I've decided what I'm going to do."

She sat up and her eyes brightened. They were filled with a hope, an emotion I've never seen in them before. It made them sparkle in a way that told me I was doing the right thing. Getting up off the bench that looked out onto the lake, I kneeled before her on one knee, "Lily Evans, will you marry me?"

Her eyes then darkened. In an angry way,"James I asked you to help me raise my child. Not marry me out of pity. My answer is no."

I was hurt, she thought I was marrying her out of pity? Did the years of stalking her till I had her tell her nothing? Did it not elude to feelings she would only find out I had for her if we were going out, which we were. When I told her every night I loved her. When I treated her like I did no other girlfriend of mine. I was crushed. "Lily, what was the first thing I said when I gave you one of my lengthy farewells the first night I started going out with you?" She shrugged. "The second night?" Again, she shrugged. "Every night since that first night?" Once again she shrugged, did that woman not know anyother body language then that? "Lily, I thought you would have noticed this since you are a woman and women are more sentimental them men are. Every night from the moment you were my girlfriend, I told you I loved you. I stalked you, trying to get you to go out with me for years before then. I'm crushed you would even think that I would ever come close to considering marriage for something less then love. For something like pity. I'm not that kind of guy. Now Lily, I'm going to ask you this one more time, and if your answer is the same. Then I will get out of your life and wont even help you with what you asked me. Will you marry me?"

She was already crying before I got to the question again. But I think thats because she just came to the reolisation that I came to in second year, that we were meant to be. Through her tears she nodded and mumbled something that sounded like I love you too, but then again that could have been my ears playing tricks on me. Happier then I had ever been, I slid the plain gold band I had to offer on her finger and stood up pulling her into my arms. "James?"

"Yes Lily?"

"When people find out I'm pregnant, can we tell them you're the father? I dont think Stu would do anything, he denies it anyway."

Knowing that her ex couldnt come between us again I smiled, "Yes you can tell them its mine. But one question, do you want to get married before or after you give birth?"

"Before. Actually the sooner the better, I dont want to be showing in my wedding pictures."

Chuckling I nodded. "Next week is a Hogsmead weekend. We can take off during that time and go have the ceremony performed. Do you want to tell any one or bring anyone?"

"No, I dont want anyone to know till I start to show and I have to tell them. Its not you, dont get me wrong. Its not shame for the marriage, its shame that I'm pregnant at this age. So I dont want anyone to know till absolutely necesary."

Well thats only understandable. Wanting to put off telling people she was pregnant at sixteen. And it wouldnt be wise to go around saying shes married at sixteen and the only reason shes married before eightteen or twenty one like I had planned is because shes pregnant. See I wasnt marrying her out of pity, I just stepped up the date on a technicality. "I can understand that. It would just make the whole situation look a lot worser then it really is."

She nodded and sat down on the bench. I sat with her, holding her in my arms and she fell asleep with her head resting on my torso. Hey give me a break, I said it before to make myself sound smart and now I can say it again 'cause its not the first time I've said it. This would be an interesting summer coming up, coming home to my parents, with a wife and child. They might get a little on the angry side. Then again they might take this as a good thing. Dad passing out cigars for being a grampa, mom taking Lily shopping for baby clothes. Then all coming back to the one thing that will definately happen, mom, dad, and Sirius would kill me. But would they kill a guy that had a wife and kid to provide for? Hope not. But at least I wouldnt have to worry about their reaction for another nine months, actually about seven or eight.

AN: Look I updated faster. :)...I'm just avoiding my acting homework right now. But look james and lily are geting married...at sixteen:(. But yay they love eachother and are going to have her ex's baby...at sixteen :(. Ok I know this doesnt coincide with the books, but have no fear,her baby is not Harry, and once I get further along prolly in the next five or six chapters, it will all smooth over into something that is possible that could have happened that JKR never told us about.

oh ya and i forgot my disclaimer in my last chap so...

disclaimer:Do you really think if I was JKR or anyone with any Potter rights that I would waste my time with fanfiction when I could write it and publish it in a book and make money...didnt think so.