Buffy and Spike had become close again. They went out together almost every night for a week, patrolling.

Buffy found herself growing more and more attracted to him again. She had thought that they could be friends while she figured out what she wanted to do, but when they were together, she couldn't stop thinking about Kissing him or running her hands through his hair. It was very distracting. When he was talking she couldn't help staring at his lower lip and imagining what it would be like to run her tongue over it or tug at it gently with her teeth.

Spike was having the same problem. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her until she was breathless. He tried hard to restrain himself as he wanted her to know that he respected her. He also wanted her to respect him in return.

She still hadn't told him about their daughter. She was worried about how he would react. Spike loved the baby anyway. When he was waiting for Buffy to get ready for patrol he would pick her up and talk or sing to her, the baby really loved him and gurgled away happily when he spent time with her.

Buffy couldn't help but wonder if it was better for him not to know. He might feel committed to always be around for her and the baby and she didn't want to smother him, not when things were going so well.

It was Saturday night and Buffy and Spike were patrolling Restfield cemetery. They had run into a group of Vamps and quickly slayed them. They were finishing up their patrol by walking slowly around the perimeter of the cemetery.

They would usually be having an amorous conversation, but tonight Spike had found that his every attempt at talking to Buffy had been thwarted by her making a nonchalant comment. He also caught her glancing at him when she thought that he wasn't looking.

"What's wrong, Buffy?" he asked her after she yet again ruined his try at conversation.

Buffy had felt nervous around him the whole night, though she didn't quite know why. She wanted to yell at him for making her feel this way about him. She also wanted to spill her heart out to him, tell him about their daughter, tell him that she wanted more than friendship from him, but she didn't know where to start. It was making her frustrated and cranky.

"Wrong?" she asked him, trying to pretend that everything was fine and that being near him didn't affect her so much. "Nothing's wrong, why? Does it seem like there's something wrong to you?" She mentally cursed herself for babbling. She always babbled when she was nervous or lying and he knew her too well not to have noticed that fact.

"Hmm... really? There's nothing wrong? You seem kind of jumpy and... Nervous. Is there something you want to talk about?" he raised an eyebrow as he regarded her.

"Nervous?" she squeaked, then cleared her throat. "Nope! Not nervous! And there's nothing I want to talk aboutistheresomethingyouwanttotalkabout?"

He stepped in front of her, preventing her from walking any further and grasped her upper arms. "Buffy. I know something's up with you, you've been acting weird all night." He stared into her eyes. "Now! Are you absolutely certain that there's nothing you want to talk about?"

She looked back at him and knew that she should probably make up some lie to stop him asking questions, but she didn't have the energy. There were too many things she had lied to him about in the past. Now was the time to be honest.

She took a deep breath. "Spike... Um... I want you and I to go out tomorrow."

"We go out every night," he said, confused.

"I don't mean patrolling." she said in irritation. "I just want to spend some time with you that doesn't have anything to do with Vampires or Demons or anything ooky."

"You mean like a date?" he smirked down at her.

She blushed at him "No! Not a date," she informed him quickly. "Actually yes! I want you to take me out on a date. I want to have fun for once, not worrying about Dawn or the baby or the end of the world. I want you take take me out, and dance with me and kiss me goodnight and tell me that I'm still the most beautiful thing in the world to you, and I want you to mean it! And I want to know how you feel about me!" she abruptly finished her tirade and stared at the grassy ground.

Spike stood there staring at her with his mouth wide open, his hands still holding her arms. "Erm..." he cleared his throat and almost forgot how to speak for a moment. "A... And what is it exactly that you feel about me?"

She was still staring at the ground. "I don't know," she mumbled as she lost her courage. She wanted to be anywhere than where she was at that moment. She hadn't meant to blurt out all of what she'd said and she feared his reaction.

"Oh come on! Don't give me that crap Buffy! After what you just said, I'm sure you have at least a basic idea," he said angrily.

"Ugh! Why do you have to be such a big jerk!? You want to know what I feel for you then fine!" she shouted back.

"Go ahead Luv! The floor's yours."

"Ok Fine! Here it goes then! I hate that you can annoy me so much! I hate that being near you affects me so much! I hate that every time I'm with you all I can think about is kissing you, but most of all I hate that it hurts so much when you're not by my side!" she stopped, let out a strangled sob, turned and ran away from him.

He watched her leave. He didn't follow.

Buffy had felt terribly unsettled all day. She just couldn't make herself sit still. She kept replaying the events of the night before in her mind. She tried to distract herself by doing chores: feeding the baby, washing the baby, changing the baby, comforting the baby. She did them half- heartedly with her mind elsewhere.

She was exhausted. She hadn't been able to sleep properly for a long time, as the baby kept waking her up. She couldn't relax no matter how hard she tried. Her tiredness and tumultuous emotions got too much for her and she burst into tears and sank to the floor in the middle of the living room. She buried her face in her hands and just let the tears flow freely.

The baby started crying upstairs and Buffy snapped. It was all just too much for her to take. She stormed up the stairs and stomped into the baby's room and shouted.

"Don't you ever stop?!? Just shut up! I hate this! I hate this life!"

Then she looked down at her little daughter. Her small face was red from screaming, and wet from her tears. She waved her little arms around angrily and reached out for Buffy, wanting to be picked up.

Buffy's expression changed and the reality of her situation seemed to suddenly become clear to her. She had a beautiful daughter who needed her. If that was the only reason she had to live, then so be it, but she knew that she would do any thing for this child, anything to protect her and see that she grew up to be healthy and happy.

She picked up her baby and regarded her with awe. She was so perfect. Buffy felt a motherly pride overcome her as she cuddled the baby. This was her child. Hers. She couldn't believe that she had created something so wonderful. At that moment she felt so much love for her daughter that she was once again overwhelmed. Silent tears slid down her cheeks and she sat down in the rocking chair that Xander had built her for the nursery.

The baby had that wonderful baby smell that all babies have and Buffy inhaled the scent as she held her. The baby quieted and started to drift back to sleep in her mothers' arms. Soon after, Buffy was asleep too. Spike had gone to the Summers household to talk to Buffy and make things right again. He was glad that he now knew she had strong feelings for him and wanted to be with him. He just needed to convince her to give their relationship a chance.

He opened the door with the key that Buffy had made for him, in case the baby was asleep when he stopped by, so the doorbell didn't wake her.

He didn't see any sign of her downstairs so he went upstairs. He found her and the baby asleep in the rocking chair. He looked at her a little sadly. He had always secretly wished that Buffy and he would have children one day. He knew he was being silly because vampires couldn't have children, but he also knew that she would have been the most perfect mother.

She didn't look very comfortable, sitting in the hard wooden chair. He hated to wake her because he knew that she had been kept up at night by the baby and hadn't been sleeping well.

He lifted the baby gently out of her arms, placed her in her cot, tucked her in and kissed her goodnight. Then he lifted Buffy up gently, went into her room, he took off her shoes and socks, placed her on the bed, tucked her in and kissed her goodnight too.

"I don't know why you help with the baby so much, Kitten." he whispered to her, knowing that she couldn't hear him. "It was Dawn's mistake, so it should be Dawn's responsibility."

Buffy moved in her sleep and reached out for something that wasn't there. "Want my baby," she mumbled, still asleep.

"See what I mean? Buffy, Luv, you don't have a baby. Dawn does."

"My baby."

Spike was confused. Why would she dream that the baby was hers? "Why do you think the baby is yours, Sweetheart?" he asked cautiously.

"My daughter. Mine. Love her, part of me."

Spike's eyes widened and he swallowed hard. Did that mean that the baby was somehow his? She couldn't be telling the truth. Unless she had lied to him before. but why? Unless it was because she wasn't his, but she still wanted him around. He was confusing himself with too much speculation, so he tried to narrow it down a bit.

"Is her daddy around, Luv?"

"Mmm."

"She's not. Xander's, is she?"

Buffy let out a little snort. "No... Xander is Anya's."

Spike was relieved that the baby wasn't Xanders. He was a bit of an idiot. That had got to be the worst case scenario. He nervously cleared his throat. "Kitten? Is she mine?"

Buffy didn't answer at first and he was afraid that she had fallen into a deeper sleep and wouldn't answer him, but then she let out a sigh and gave him her answer.

"No! Silly"

Spike felt crushed, he knew that he shouldn't have got his hopes up. He had almost let himself start to believe that he was a father, and he'd felt so happy. That moment had passed. He felt sudden anger at Buffy. She must have got over him pretty quickly, if he worked out the dates from the baby's age correctly.

Or it could be worse, she could have been cheating on him when they were together.

"She's not yours," Buffy mumbled again as she rolled over onto her side.

"Got that part Slayer!" he gritted out angrily.

"Not yours... yours... she's Spike's... she has his eyes... so blue..."

Spike almost choked when he heard what she said.

I have a daughter.

He was in complete shock and had no idea what to do. Then he just burst into tears.

Buffy awoke with a start. "Spike? What are you doing here? What's wrong?" She immediately pulled him into her arms and held him tightly without a second thought. All she knew was that he was in pain and that she needed to comfort him.

"Why didn't you tell me Buffy?" he sobbed out.

Oh God, he can't know - can he? How can he know? "What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.

"She's our daughter!?" he questioned.

Oh crap! He knows. "Yes," she said quietly, he had to strain his ears to hear her.

"She's yours, ours." She released him from her embrace and looked at the floor guiltily.

"So why didn't you tell me? God, Buffy! If I had known, I would never have left! Never! I would have stayed by your side throughout the whole thing." He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

"I didn't know Spike! I didn't know I was pregnant until it was too late and you had already gone," she said with despair.

"Oh Sweetheart! I'm so sorry!" He pulled her into his arms. "I can't think what you had to go through... and all alone too."

Buffy let her tears fall and she let herself be comforted by him. "Spike, it's all so hard!" she sniffed. "Looking after our daughter and Dawn and Slaying, it's all too much!"

"Hey! Shh shh. Calm down Kitten, I'll help you in any way I can," he told her sincerely.

"Aren't you mad at me for lying to you?" she asked, a little fearfully.

"No Baby! I should be on my knees, begging yet again for forgiveness. You have no idea how sorry I am. I couldn't be there with you when you found out the happy news. I wasn't there to hold your hand when you went into labour, I missed it all." he said sadly.

"You're going to stay around aren't you? You're not going to leave? I didn't think you wanted children," she said, still with fear in her voice.

"Kitten, I said I never wanted children because I thought that it wasn't possible. But now I have a little girl... I've never felt happier," he informed her with tears of happiness in his eyes.

"Oh Spike!" she impulsively kissed him softly on the lips. He shifted her in his arms so that he could gain better access to her mouth, moaned and deepened the kiss.

When they broke apart, Spike looked at her with pure joy in his eyes. "Can I go get her? Huh huh? can I?" he asked excitedly, acting like a little kid wanting to open his presents on Christmas day.

"You don't have to ask my permission. She's yours too, you know?" She smiled at him, ecstatic that she had been able to make him so happy.

Spike all but scampered off to get his daughter. He came back a moment later cradling her in his arms carefully. He sat back down on the edge of the bed. Buffy crawled over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body along his back. Spike sat very still, looking at his daughter as if seeing her for the first time.

"She's so beautiful and perfect," he whispered with awe. "I can't believe that our love made her." Then he looked at Buffy over his shoulder. "Uh! I mean, our caring for each other," he said, a little bitterly.

Looking at him now, Buffy felt as if a fog had been lifted. She knew now what she wanted, and that was him by her side forever, being there for her and their daughter.

"Thank you Kitten," he told her emotionally. "She's the best gift that anyone could ever give to me."

She began to nibble at his ear. "Stay here-" "-with me-" "-and our daughter- " "-tonight." she said in between little licks and nibbles.

"Are you sure Luv?" he asked, slightly confused.

"You belong with me Spike," she told him lustfully, "with our daughter, in my house, in my bed and..." she paused and looked deeply into his eyes, "and in my heart."

He looked at her with surprise. "Buffy, what?"

She took a deep breath. "You are a wonderful man, I know you'll be a wonderful father and... I'm in love with you."

"What...?' he stared at her, confused.

"I love you, Spike," she repeated.

It was becoming all too much for him to handle. The love of his life had just told him that he was a father and now she just told him that she loved him. 'I must be dreaming.' He pinched his arm. 'Nope I'm awake!' he said to himself. His heart soared with joy and he thought he would burst with this overwhelming happiness.