Sorry about the continuing lack of smut, Jana...
Strange thing... I didn't realize until I wrote this what a major series goof there is, even beyond Chandler not remembering 'Fat Monica'. In "The One With The Prom Video", Ross is already in college, and Monica and Rachel are in their senior year of high school. This means that it's actually after she meets Chandler for the first time... months and months after, since most Proms take place in May.
So she meets Chandler in November, and decides to lose weight... but here she is on the Prom Video, six months later, not having shed a pound and still eating like there's no tomorrow... only to magically have lost 100 pounds six months later. Weird, no?
Click.
Rachel's eyes flew open in the semi-dark, her grip on her pillow tightening. "Mon?"
"No."
She flopped over, her stomach in knots. "Chandler...?"
Silhouetted in the doorway, his face was unreadable. "Party's about to start... naptime's over."
"Sorry, sorry I... just didn't get any sleep last night..."
He paused, considering, then shut the door behind him. "Hey, Rachel, look. I just wanted to say... that was a shitty thing you did to me yesterday. I didn't want to give you crap about it in front of everyone, but... don't do that to me again." He took a step closer. "Look... I don't... I don't want us to fight anymore. I want us to be... well... friends, if we can. But stuff like that -- isn't the way to start."
Rachel rubbed her eyes. "Wha -- what did I do?"
His voice softened a little. "Did you just forget?"
"Forget... what?"
"The airport. You turned off Joey's alarm? You were gonna pick me up at the airport? I waited there for an hour, Rach... and then I yelled at Joey before I saw the MagnaDoodle."
Rachel shook her head, trying to wake herself up. "I thought that girl would take you home."
"That... wait. You were at the airport?"
Oh crap, crap, crap. "Yeah," she said in a small voice.
"You came all the way there to ditch me? What, did you -- did you just wanna see my face? Jesus, Rachel, what the hell did I ever do to you?"
"Nothing! Nothing, Chandler, I want to --"
"Get dressed, Rachel. It's Joey's big night. I don't want anything to ruin that."
And with a slam, he was gone.
***
"All right," Chandler cried, raising his glass. "I'd like to propose a toast, to Mister Joseph Francis Tribbiani...!"
"Hear, hear!" Phoebe cried, clapping her hands.
"A wonderful roommate. A fabulous friend. And now, a brilliant, heartbreaking neurosurgeon, reoccurring in at least four episodes!"
They clinked glasses, and Rachel sipped her champagne, trying not to visibly grimace as Kathy popped an olive in Chandler's mouth.
"Okay, everybody... I've got a surprise!" Monica pulled a black videocassette out from underneath the table. "Joey's not the only one on TV!"
"Whatcha got, Mon?"
"Mom and Dad came by with a bunch of my stuff today, and I watched a few seconds of this -- it's the Prom Video from my and Rachel's Senior Prom! Who wants to stick it in?"
"Ooooh!" Phoebe squealed. "I do! I do! I never got to go to Prom, but I did steal this ice sculpture..."
"Wait-wait," Ross interrupted. "I think tonight ought to just be about Joey, don't you guys? Just give me the tape, and I'll hold on to it..."
"I wanna see!" Joey demanded. "Stick it in!"
"Why don't we watch some of Joey's stuff?" Ross countered. "We could have, we could have a whole, glorious Joey Marathon!"
Joey reached over, plucking the videotape out of Monica's hands and jogging for the VCR.
"Aw, c'mon, guys..." Ross tried one final time.
Rachel followed the herd over to the couch, mentally calculating. Prom Video... had this been before, or after her...
The screen lit up, a vision of herself in a hideous blue dress filling it.
Oh, dear God. Before, definitely before.
"What is up with your nose?" Joey cried.
"They had to reduce it because of my..." Rachel fingered her nose self-consciously, "Deviated septum."
"You know, I deviated my..." Chandler began, then froze mid-quip. "Whoa."
Monica had appeared on screen, and Rachel sucked in breath; she'd forgotten just how large Monica had been.
"Some girl ate Monica," Joey said in awe.
"Shut up!" Monica cried. "The camera adds ten pounds!"
"So how many cameras are actually on you?" Chandler teased.
"Don't start, Bing," Monica growled. "You've only got nine toes left."
They all reacted again as Ross appeared on screen, and Rachel stifled laughter behind her hand.
"Lookin' good, Mr. Kot-ter!" Joey crowed.
Where was Ross, anyway? Rachel turned, eyes narrowing as she spotted Ross, pacing by the door, visibly uncomfortable. What was wrong with him?
"Oh, look, there's Roy Gublick," Rachel pointed at the screen.
"You know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times," Monica said. "His name was in the paper."
"Only 317? I saw it..." Chandler paused, coughing into his hand. "Yeah, that Roy guy's a nerd."
"I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob," Monica said conspiratorially.
Rachel watched as her younger self sobbed into a Kleenex over Chip Matthews... and then her eyes widened as the screen flashed over to a scene she didn't remember, not at all...
I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the Prom.
Doubtful.
Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
Dad... she won't want to go with me.
Of course she would! You're a college man!
Ross was... Ross was going to take her to the Prom? That was so sweet...
"Okay, you guys, you know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off," Ross crossed nervously to the VCR.
Monica, Kathy, Phoebe and Joey waved him away. Chandler sat, motionless, staring at the screen, looking sucker-punched.
"Okay, fine, well, I'm not gonna watch, alright," Ross headed for the door.
Ahh, are you handsome!
Let's show 'em.
Uh... just a sec dad. Okay, be cool, just be cool...
Rachel's eyes sought out Chandler's face, and just for a moment, his eyes stared into hers... miserable guilt pouring out of them.
Oh, god... it's over. This is it. The end. Even if he wasn't with Kathy, even if I hadn't screwed up, he loves Ross too much...
And god, poor Ross, standing there with the bouquet as they all ran through the foyer...
He'd loved her so long. So long... loved her so much. And until this whole Chandler thing had spun her head around, she'd loved him too, hadn't she? Loved him enough to make an ass of herself at the airport, loved him enough to drink herself into Chandler's bed.
She and Chandler weren't ever going to make it, were they? They'd kept it together what, three days? With everything in the world working against them?
Maybe it was meant to not be.
Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
Press the button.
Which one? Which button, Jack?
The button, the button...!
"I... I can't believe you did that, Ross," Monica said in awe.
"Yeah, well..."
Rachel's eyes flashed to Chandler. He nodded, slowly, sadly. And she walked, heavy-hearted, over to Ross.
"That was really sweet," Rachel whispered.
"Well... I..."
"No. That was really, really sweet." She raised her hand, brushed it through his hair, took a deep breath...
And pressed her lips against his.
Strange thing... I didn't realize until I wrote this what a major series goof there is, even beyond Chandler not remembering 'Fat Monica'. In "The One With The Prom Video", Ross is already in college, and Monica and Rachel are in their senior year of high school. This means that it's actually after she meets Chandler for the first time... months and months after, since most Proms take place in May.
So she meets Chandler in November, and decides to lose weight... but here she is on the Prom Video, six months later, not having shed a pound and still eating like there's no tomorrow... only to magically have lost 100 pounds six months later. Weird, no?
Click.
Rachel's eyes flew open in the semi-dark, her grip on her pillow tightening. "Mon?"
"No."
She flopped over, her stomach in knots. "Chandler...?"
Silhouetted in the doorway, his face was unreadable. "Party's about to start... naptime's over."
"Sorry, sorry I... just didn't get any sleep last night..."
He paused, considering, then shut the door behind him. "Hey, Rachel, look. I just wanted to say... that was a shitty thing you did to me yesterday. I didn't want to give you crap about it in front of everyone, but... don't do that to me again." He took a step closer. "Look... I don't... I don't want us to fight anymore. I want us to be... well... friends, if we can. But stuff like that -- isn't the way to start."
Rachel rubbed her eyes. "Wha -- what did I do?"
His voice softened a little. "Did you just forget?"
"Forget... what?"
"The airport. You turned off Joey's alarm? You were gonna pick me up at the airport? I waited there for an hour, Rach... and then I yelled at Joey before I saw the MagnaDoodle."
Rachel shook her head, trying to wake herself up. "I thought that girl would take you home."
"That... wait. You were at the airport?"
Oh crap, crap, crap. "Yeah," she said in a small voice.
"You came all the way there to ditch me? What, did you -- did you just wanna see my face? Jesus, Rachel, what the hell did I ever do to you?"
"Nothing! Nothing, Chandler, I want to --"
"Get dressed, Rachel. It's Joey's big night. I don't want anything to ruin that."
And with a slam, he was gone.
***
"All right," Chandler cried, raising his glass. "I'd like to propose a toast, to Mister Joseph Francis Tribbiani...!"
"Hear, hear!" Phoebe cried, clapping her hands.
"A wonderful roommate. A fabulous friend. And now, a brilliant, heartbreaking neurosurgeon, reoccurring in at least four episodes!"
They clinked glasses, and Rachel sipped her champagne, trying not to visibly grimace as Kathy popped an olive in Chandler's mouth.
"Okay, everybody... I've got a surprise!" Monica pulled a black videocassette out from underneath the table. "Joey's not the only one on TV!"
"Whatcha got, Mon?"
"Mom and Dad came by with a bunch of my stuff today, and I watched a few seconds of this -- it's the Prom Video from my and Rachel's Senior Prom! Who wants to stick it in?"
"Ooooh!" Phoebe squealed. "I do! I do! I never got to go to Prom, but I did steal this ice sculpture..."
"Wait-wait," Ross interrupted. "I think tonight ought to just be about Joey, don't you guys? Just give me the tape, and I'll hold on to it..."
"I wanna see!" Joey demanded. "Stick it in!"
"Why don't we watch some of Joey's stuff?" Ross countered. "We could have, we could have a whole, glorious Joey Marathon!"
Joey reached over, plucking the videotape out of Monica's hands and jogging for the VCR.
"Aw, c'mon, guys..." Ross tried one final time.
Rachel followed the herd over to the couch, mentally calculating. Prom Video... had this been before, or after her...
The screen lit up, a vision of herself in a hideous blue dress filling it.
Oh, dear God. Before, definitely before.
"What is up with your nose?" Joey cried.
"They had to reduce it because of my..." Rachel fingered her nose self-consciously, "Deviated septum."
"You know, I deviated my..." Chandler began, then froze mid-quip. "Whoa."
Monica had appeared on screen, and Rachel sucked in breath; she'd forgotten just how large Monica had been.
"Some girl ate Monica," Joey said in awe.
"Shut up!" Monica cried. "The camera adds ten pounds!"
"So how many cameras are actually on you?" Chandler teased.
"Don't start, Bing," Monica growled. "You've only got nine toes left."
They all reacted again as Ross appeared on screen, and Rachel stifled laughter behind her hand.
"Lookin' good, Mr. Kot-ter!" Joey crowed.
Where was Ross, anyway? Rachel turned, eyes narrowing as she spotted Ross, pacing by the door, visibly uncomfortable. What was wrong with him?
"Oh, look, there's Roy Gublick," Rachel pointed at the screen.
"You know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times," Monica said. "His name was in the paper."
"Only 317? I saw it..." Chandler paused, coughing into his hand. "Yeah, that Roy guy's a nerd."
"I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob," Monica said conspiratorially.
Rachel watched as her younger self sobbed into a Kleenex over Chip Matthews... and then her eyes widened as the screen flashed over to a scene she didn't remember, not at all...
I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the Prom.
Doubtful.
Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
Your mother's right. Take her, you can wear my tux.
Dad... she won't want to go with me.
Of course she would! You're a college man!
Ross was... Ross was going to take her to the Prom? That was so sweet...
"Okay, you guys, you know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off," Ross crossed nervously to the VCR.
Monica, Kathy, Phoebe and Joey waved him away. Chandler sat, motionless, staring at the screen, looking sucker-punched.
"Okay, fine, well, I'm not gonna watch, alright," Ross headed for the door.
Ahh, are you handsome!
Let's show 'em.
Uh... just a sec dad. Okay, be cool, just be cool...
Rachel's eyes sought out Chandler's face, and just for a moment, his eyes stared into hers... miserable guilt pouring out of them.
Oh, god... it's over. This is it. The end. Even if he wasn't with Kathy, even if I hadn't screwed up, he loves Ross too much...
And god, poor Ross, standing there with the bouquet as they all ran through the foyer...
He'd loved her so long. So long... loved her so much. And until this whole Chandler thing had spun her head around, she'd loved him too, hadn't she? Loved him enough to make an ass of herself at the airport, loved him enough to drink herself into Chandler's bed.
She and Chandler weren't ever going to make it, were they? They'd kept it together what, three days? With everything in the world working against them?
Maybe it was meant to not be.
Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
Press the button.
Which one? Which button, Jack?
The button, the button...!
"I... I can't believe you did that, Ross," Monica said in awe.
"Yeah, well..."
Rachel's eyes flashed to Chandler. He nodded, slowly, sadly. And she walked, heavy-hearted, over to Ross.
"That was really sweet," Rachel whispered.
"Well... I..."
"No. That was really, really sweet." She raised her hand, brushed it through his hair, took a deep breath...
And pressed her lips against his.
