Thanks for reading my previous chapters, this is not actually chapter 4 but
it's kind of an introduction to it. Actually this is sort of a song fic,
the song that I used here is entitled "What do I do?" sung by a Filipino
singer with his band, Nyoy Volante with Mannos. I hope you enjoy this one,
I love this song so much it gave me sort of mixed emotions and it inspired
me with the whole story. I think you have to expect more songs coming in
future chapters, I hope you won't tire reading it, thanks again and God
bless! =D
Flash back:
"Clark, I have to go now, it's getting late and my aunt Nell's expecting me tonight." Lana put on her sneakers and started walking towards the stairs. "Why so early, could you not spend the night here?" his face instantly saddened with her sudden departure.
"I want to, it's just that -" she paused self-consciously, too shy to confess the real reason. "It's just that what?" he asked in bewilderment, he stood up from the couch and walk towards her. "I think it's inappropriate for me to stay, I mean I'm already a big girl and you're turning to be a big boy, you see growing up demands a little privacy even with best friends, and my aunt told me that no one will ever date me if they found out that I'm sleeping over at my best friend especially if he's a guy." She explained unsure if Clark will believe her attempt of a good reason.
"You could be one of the boys, forget burgeoning hormones and those weird stuff that grows in your body, I'm your best friend and I don't care whatever they say -"
"Clark, you don't understand, though I act somehow like a boy but I'm still a girl who feels like a girl, you can't ask me not to feel serious about these stuff because although I want to I just can't and besides -"
"Then I'll date you!" he cut her off. "If no one from the male gender wanted to, I'll date you!" she was instantly taken a back by his remarks. She turned away from him just to hide the blushing of her face and started going down the steps
"Who told you that I want to date you?" she shouted playfully as she finally disappears in the darkness of the night.
(What would you do? If I told you that, All that I do's think of what we
had What would you do? If I'm not the friend I used to be, Well, at least, not
to me
'Cause I can't get over, all the times you stayed,
Get crazy jealous, every time you're away
Now I'm someone different from the one that you knew
Had nothing to feel for you, to feel for you
What do I do? I keep callin' out your name
What do I do? I got no one else to blame
What do I do? Every time I hold your hand it's not the same
What do I do? I think I fell in love with you)
I remember that day you and your family left for a family emergency, we were just seven then, I cried so hard for you with the thought that you will never come back again.
I came to the loft every single day when you left, playing by myself, hoping that you'll return sooner than I expect, waiting for every sunset to appear because it's the least thing that reminds me of you, I even cried myself to sleep on your couch, as a hand touches me to wake me up I always thought it was yours, only to find my aunt's pleading eyes begging me to go home.
One night I slept again on your loft, this time my aunt didn't came by as she usually did, perhaps she get tired of doing it. I found myself dreaming for a person that I'm longing to see, it was you.
I found myself in a garden full of red roses, everything is just pure white, I walked through the long aisles wearing a white velvet gown, as I reached the altar I saw a familiar face with a pair of glowing eyes, when our eyes met he smiled widely and reached out his hand, only to find another woman in front of me, my smile faded when she walk towards him, she reached for his open arms and both headed to the altar.
Seeing them together have torn me apart, it's like a car accident that you can't bear to look but you just can't reap yourself off, I don't want to feel selfish but the scenery before me is just too unbearable to take, I fell on my knees trying so hard to fight the tears from flowing, but it didn't stop. My mind had already forbid me to love you for I know you will only bring me tears, but my heart just keep on telling me so; we are meant to be, but this time not anymore.
I want to look at you once again for the last time, as I raise my head I found a pair of loving eyes looking directly at me, I wiped away the tears that has caused my vision to blurred, as I look again I saw you walking towards me, I don't know but I think I saw tears in your eyes, you reached for my face and caressed it softly, I closed my eyes savoring every touch, after awhile you handed me a white hanky, as I open it I found a simple note, it read: I will always be here for you, no matter what. I have loved you ever since, now I love you enough to leave you.
As I finished the last word my eyes were already wet with tears, I raised my face to look for you, but you were already gone.
"Lana, Lana wake up, you're sleeping on my couch I have nowhere to sleep." A faraway voice is calling me but I just can't go back, I struggled hard, eventually a tear flowed down my cheek and suddenly I felt a finger wiped it away. I flinched with the touch that caused me to wake up, as I open my eyes I saw you looking at me confused with the way I reacted.
"Clark!" I screamed on top of my lungs and hugged you with the remaining strength that I have. Still confused but you eagerly returned the hug, telling me to calm down and everything is all right.
That night it rained so hard, your mom told us that we could stay in your loft and I could go home the next morning, we slept in your couch holding each other till the next day, you sleep so peaceful even without your parents around you, after all we've been through I thank God for having you in my life, I starred at your sleeping face for a long moment then gave you peck on the cheek. I know after this night I will never be the same again.
(What can I do? What can I say?
Everything keeps changing every night, every day
Every word so different, every touch so real
Every glance and every look reveals the way I feel
No, its never ever gonna be the same
When we hug for warmth
From the cold of the rain
And I'm not gonna move on,
Not gonna change
Though I find it hard to say.Baby
I don't know what to do
I've fallen more for you
Baby, please tell me.)
What can I do, I have fallen in love with you, it's forbidden to cross that line between friendship and love but I chose a different way to be with you and I know everything will never be the same again. I don't want you to hate me if you'll find out, but you unleash the feeling that I though was once just a silly dream. I chose to love you in silence because inside me everything is possible between us, even if it was just a dream, I will plunge myself to this dream till I wake up to be with you in reality.
P.S. the note was sort of inspired by the episode Exodus, don't fret chapter 4 is coming really, really soon. I just hope the long wait is worth it!!!
Flash back:
"Clark, I have to go now, it's getting late and my aunt Nell's expecting me tonight." Lana put on her sneakers and started walking towards the stairs. "Why so early, could you not spend the night here?" his face instantly saddened with her sudden departure.
"I want to, it's just that -" she paused self-consciously, too shy to confess the real reason. "It's just that what?" he asked in bewilderment, he stood up from the couch and walk towards her. "I think it's inappropriate for me to stay, I mean I'm already a big girl and you're turning to be a big boy, you see growing up demands a little privacy even with best friends, and my aunt told me that no one will ever date me if they found out that I'm sleeping over at my best friend especially if he's a guy." She explained unsure if Clark will believe her attempt of a good reason.
"You could be one of the boys, forget burgeoning hormones and those weird stuff that grows in your body, I'm your best friend and I don't care whatever they say -"
"Clark, you don't understand, though I act somehow like a boy but I'm still a girl who feels like a girl, you can't ask me not to feel serious about these stuff because although I want to I just can't and besides -"
"Then I'll date you!" he cut her off. "If no one from the male gender wanted to, I'll date you!" she was instantly taken a back by his remarks. She turned away from him just to hide the blushing of her face and started going down the steps
"Who told you that I want to date you?" she shouted playfully as she finally disappears in the darkness of the night.
(What would you do? If I told you that, All that I do's think of what we
had What would you do? If I'm not the friend I used to be, Well, at least, not
to me
'Cause I can't get over, all the times you stayed,
Get crazy jealous, every time you're away
Now I'm someone different from the one that you knew
Had nothing to feel for you, to feel for you
What do I do? I keep callin' out your name
What do I do? I got no one else to blame
What do I do? Every time I hold your hand it's not the same
What do I do? I think I fell in love with you)
I remember that day you and your family left for a family emergency, we were just seven then, I cried so hard for you with the thought that you will never come back again.
I came to the loft every single day when you left, playing by myself, hoping that you'll return sooner than I expect, waiting for every sunset to appear because it's the least thing that reminds me of you, I even cried myself to sleep on your couch, as a hand touches me to wake me up I always thought it was yours, only to find my aunt's pleading eyes begging me to go home.
One night I slept again on your loft, this time my aunt didn't came by as she usually did, perhaps she get tired of doing it. I found myself dreaming for a person that I'm longing to see, it was you.
I found myself in a garden full of red roses, everything is just pure white, I walked through the long aisles wearing a white velvet gown, as I reached the altar I saw a familiar face with a pair of glowing eyes, when our eyes met he smiled widely and reached out his hand, only to find another woman in front of me, my smile faded when she walk towards him, she reached for his open arms and both headed to the altar.
Seeing them together have torn me apart, it's like a car accident that you can't bear to look but you just can't reap yourself off, I don't want to feel selfish but the scenery before me is just too unbearable to take, I fell on my knees trying so hard to fight the tears from flowing, but it didn't stop. My mind had already forbid me to love you for I know you will only bring me tears, but my heart just keep on telling me so; we are meant to be, but this time not anymore.
I want to look at you once again for the last time, as I raise my head I found a pair of loving eyes looking directly at me, I wiped away the tears that has caused my vision to blurred, as I look again I saw you walking towards me, I don't know but I think I saw tears in your eyes, you reached for my face and caressed it softly, I closed my eyes savoring every touch, after awhile you handed me a white hanky, as I open it I found a simple note, it read: I will always be here for you, no matter what. I have loved you ever since, now I love you enough to leave you.
As I finished the last word my eyes were already wet with tears, I raised my face to look for you, but you were already gone.
"Lana, Lana wake up, you're sleeping on my couch I have nowhere to sleep." A faraway voice is calling me but I just can't go back, I struggled hard, eventually a tear flowed down my cheek and suddenly I felt a finger wiped it away. I flinched with the touch that caused me to wake up, as I open my eyes I saw you looking at me confused with the way I reacted.
"Clark!" I screamed on top of my lungs and hugged you with the remaining strength that I have. Still confused but you eagerly returned the hug, telling me to calm down and everything is all right.
That night it rained so hard, your mom told us that we could stay in your loft and I could go home the next morning, we slept in your couch holding each other till the next day, you sleep so peaceful even without your parents around you, after all we've been through I thank God for having you in my life, I starred at your sleeping face for a long moment then gave you peck on the cheek. I know after this night I will never be the same again.
(What can I do? What can I say?
Everything keeps changing every night, every day
Every word so different, every touch so real
Every glance and every look reveals the way I feel
No, its never ever gonna be the same
When we hug for warmth
From the cold of the rain
And I'm not gonna move on,
Not gonna change
Though I find it hard to say.Baby
I don't know what to do
I've fallen more for you
Baby, please tell me.)
What can I do, I have fallen in love with you, it's forbidden to cross that line between friendship and love but I chose a different way to be with you and I know everything will never be the same again. I don't want you to hate me if you'll find out, but you unleash the feeling that I though was once just a silly dream. I chose to love you in silence because inside me everything is possible between us, even if it was just a dream, I will plunge myself to this dream till I wake up to be with you in reality.
P.S. the note was sort of inspired by the episode Exodus, don't fret chapter 4 is coming really, really soon. I just hope the long wait is worth it!!!
