Hello all again… new installment!

*I don't own the characters. I own the depressing story I put them in. And edgy wedgy owns all elements of slash in this story.*

(edgy wedgy's bits are in italics… There are a lot of them this time.)

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Chapter four

15:32.

I'm using special boys' wink language to tell Hermione to shut up.

15:32 and 30 secs.

Harry looks confused.

15:33

I made it clearer, putting emphasis on the twitch.

15:33 and a bit.

Harry is nodding but looking doubtful. So I'm nodding back with an enthusiastic face.

15:34.

Harry's just cleared his throat and said, "Hermione, if you don't shut up, I shan't marry you." WHAT?!

15:35

I'm shaking my head vigorously. Sadly, Harry thinks I'm congratulating him. GOSH!!!

15:36

But it didn't shut Hermione up. She just said, "If you won't marry me I'll just marry Ron".

15:36 and some bits.

I don't want to marry Hermione!

15:37.

Hermione is now DETERMINED to marry me!

15:37 and 2/3

She's just said, "I've always liked Ron, he's so hot." She's gotta be kidding.

15:38.

Oh man, stop the embarrassment! She's telling us all about her feelings. This isn't a sex talk Hermione!

15:38 and a bit.

Ew, ew, ew. Her-mi-o-ne! how could you? That's disgusting! *

15:38 and two bits.

Gosh, shut up already! Now she's saying she likes me because all the girls say I'm a good kisser. WHAT?!

15:38 and 4 bits.

Now she's saying she'll only marry a man who's touch is gentle and lips are sweet. Help…

15:39.

I'm winking at Harry again to tell him to shut him up, with a SPELL this time.

15:39:30

He's nodding and winking back.

15:39:41

I'm grinning and winking back.

15:40.

Oh no! Hermione just saw me grinning and winking at Harry. Now she thinks we're gay!

15:41

Hey, that's not so bad, if I'm everything she doesn't want, maybe she'll LEAVE ME ALONE!!! She's SO annoying!!!

15:41 and a bit.

I mean, I'd do the counter-mute spell on myself but I CAN'T SAY THE WORDS!!!

15:42

Hermione's pissed. She reckons that if we're gay then we should've told her earlier. BUT WE'RE NOT!

15:43

I'm winking at Harry to tell her that we're not gay.

15:43 and more.

Harry's looking at me dreamily and saying, "I love you too Ron…" GROSS!

15:44

Dammit! I am NOT gay. NOT gay.

More 15:44

I AIN'T GAY!!!

Again 15:44

Help…

15:45

Ok, now I've devised a clever plan, a high risk one, but if it works, I may have a chance of living a full and proper life away from Harry and Hermione who've suddenly gone weird. The thing is, I can't remember the plan.

15:46

Ok, I've thought of another plan. I shall, um, no, actually too gross.

15:46 and a half.

Hermione and Harry are arguing over my custody. She says she's a girl therefore she has rights to me. He says we've always been an item.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and I WILL kiss Hermione…

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And a nice little cliffie-ish thing to finish off this installment… as I said earlier, edgy wedgy owns all elements of slash… I, er, just, uh, played along…

* (from the '*' in the story) a dedication of a chapter goes to the person who comes up with the best idea of what Hermione was talking about… Don't make it too disturbing.

Thanks to reviewers: edgy wedgy (well it's his story too), Olean-Radcliffe, PrincessEilonwy, SKYLER cooper, Damsel In Distress, Beatrice1, Gyakutenno Megami1, Paladin Dragoon  and  happy molecule, whose review had nothing to do with the story.HarrHardlrkgjs/lgkjsd.ffsddfgk