Requiem chapter 3: (revised)
Culture Schlock.

Disclaimer: Same refrain, so cause me no pain. I don't own any rights to any manga or anime either, much to the sorrow of my bank account. Authors note: After posting it and re-reading this chapter, I realized that it was severely lacking. A teacher once said, "Show, don't tell". So that's what I'm going to do. I refuse to allow this to become a crapfic in order to hurry it along.

"Oooh, my head!" Don't ask me what I was drinking last night. Hell, I don't even know how I got back to my hotel room. It feels like I have a miniature Asuka inside my skull dancing with hobnail boots while indulging in one of her classic "hit parades". Also, my butt's sore from being grabbed by several drunken women. It's not the first time this has happened. Wish I could figure out this fetish they have for my ass-maybe I should have photos taken and distributed (limited edition, signed and numbered. Special embossed logo Shinji sat here!). Probably last longer. After staggering into the shower and letting the hot water work its magic, I went down for breakfast. A truly inspired idea; 3 cups of corrosively strong coffee and I was almost feeling normal. A plate of dim-sum, sausage, eggs and hash browns completed things. I no longer possess what Asuka somewhat derisively called a "Japanese stomach". Living abroad has considerably broadened my tastes. Grey matter was still feeling tender as I went back to my room. Can't remember the last time I felt like this. Whoa! Yes I do! I was right after I came out of that 3 month long coma. Although I didn't know it at the time, my revival was to result in a new and improved Shinji and a whole new world for me.

Opening my eyes was never this hard! I looked around and found I had trouble even turning my head. Unfamiliar ceiling indeed! I looked down at myself, and almost feinted from shock. I was always painfully thin, but now I looked emaciated, almost skeletal. How the hell long was I out for, anyway? And where was Asuka!?? Was she o.k.? I must have made some noise, because a nurse peered in, and gasped, "Omigod, he's awake!! Get Dr. Akagi, fast!" Damn it, I felt myself going to sleep again! I really want to stay.awake.. More familiar ceiling this time. Opening my eyes was a lot less painful, too. Throat felt dryer than hell's basement though. As if on queue, a straw was inserted between my lips. Water felt heavenly going down. "Welcome back, Kiddo! You had us worried!" The voice could only belong to Ritsuko, but why was her hair brown? Not a bad change though. "Hello Shinji" A light touch on my shoulder accompanied a warm toned voice. It was Maya. "Here, let me take that for you. Got to take it slow, o.k.?" I tried to say something in return. What came out of my mouth didn't even sound human! Reminded me of that pre-second impact film, what was it called? Oh, yeah,

The Miracle workers! The shock must have shown vividly on my face. Ritsuko sat down next to me, chuckling. "I was going to tell you not to try and talk, but you've found that out by yourself. You'll have to go in for speech therapy to clear that up. You're also going to have to take physical therapy as well to retrain those atrophied muscles; 3 month in a coma will do that to a person", fixing me with an arch look. Oh joy, what other good news did she have in store for me? "I'll just have a few samples taken, blood work done, the usual. All in all, you seem to have come through this a bit better than expected." Then, unexpectedly, her face changed. She frowned a bit, and her eyes grew softer. "Well, so much for the good news". Her mouth twisted, and she looked pleadingly at Maya. Maya nodded once and Ritsuko turned to the door. "I'll be back soon Shin-Chan..." Her voice broke, and she rapidly walked out. Maya's soft brown eyes locked on mine. "Shinji, there's no easy way to say this. Asuka's gone back to Germany." I closed my eyes, feeling like someone had stuck a knife in my gut. I just couldn't believe it; She left me, and she never even said goodbye! Maya smiled sadly. "You have to understand, Shinji, 3rd impact shattered everything she had built her life on. She needed to go someplace and regroup." Maya reached down and hugged me a bit. "I know how much you cared about her, and I know she had feelings for you as well! But she just couldn't stay here. There were too many bad memories. She did leave a note for you." Maya had put it on a clipboard and held it up for me to read. Before I finished, I had tears rolling down my face. She cared for me, but not the same way I did for her. While I was happy that she didn't hate me, even though I wished her well, it still hurt like hell. Something in Maya's bearing told me that there was even worse to follow. "Shinji..Misato's gone as well." That..was very unexpected. I felt something shatter inside me. "I don't know the reasons. Sempai does, but she won't say anything. I know she and Misato had a horrible fight about it. I'm sorry, Shinji." Maya's eyes started to tear up; I began to cry, great wracking sobs ripping from my chest. Maya just held me, rocking me like a child. First mother died. Then father abandoned me. My relatives never cared about me. Misato made me feel like I finally had a home, and now she had walked out on me as well. Of all the betrayals I had ever experienced, this hurt the worst! I wept uncontrollably for what seemed like hours. All the while, Maya held me, stroking my hair and making soothing noises through her own tears. Finally, exhausted, I sank into a restless slumber.
For the next few days, I just lay like a lump, refusing food or water. I just felt like dying. But something was stirring inside me. Maybe I had just come down as far as I could. One night, I was turning it over in my head for the thousandth time, when I felt it; RAGE!! All my life, I had been tossed aside like so much garbage. I was abandoned, forsaken by people who I thought cared about me. I routinely risked my life for virtually no thanks and feint praise. I mean, I was reduced to being a servant for a slovenly sot of a commanding officer with delusions of motherhood. I had taken physical and emotional abuse from a dysfunctional girl with an anger disorder and a superiority complex. And for what? A few words of thanks? A pat on the head? What was I, Cinder- Shinji? Where was my fairy godmother in all this? Maybe I grew up a bit that night, but I was finally, heartily SICK of it all! No more! Never again. I refused to allow myself to be used anymore. No more Mr. Doormat. No more running away, ever again! This time, I was going to fight!

The next several months passed in a blur. Anger fueled my body, making me attack my physical rehabilitation. The Therapists couldn't believe how rapidly I was progressing. Of course, they never knew just how much pent- up fury I had inside me either. I actually found myself enjoying intensive weight training. Soon after I got out of the hospital, I was transferred to temporary quarters at what was now GEHIRN. While there, I took intensive martial arts training. It was a great release for my hostility. I was still subject to blinding headaches, though. One day, I was hooked up to some monitoring equipment. I was subjected to extensive testing and measurements. When the report came back, Ritsuko looked it over, and then slumped into a chair in a state of near-disbelief. "Well, Ritsuko, what's the verdict? Am I going to be able to play the violin again?" I quipped. Old cliché, but still effective. "Shinji, if this means what I think it does, you might soon be able to do it without using either a bow or your hands!" "Huh? That makes no sense whatsoever!" "Oh yes it does! You remember during impact? You were the focus! All those minds and souls meeting through you. Do you think any ordinary person could go through that without going insane?" "Maybe not, but if that's the case, why am I not gibbering and drooling in a padded cell somewhere?" "Well, your mind had already been altered through exposure to EVA. Impact forced your mind to change even further in order to survive. Simply put, you're starting to manifest psionic abilities!" Seeing my blank look, she continued. "All those headaches you're getting are because you're beginning to "hear" peoples' thoughts, but can't really interpret them yet. It comes across as so much gibberish. So, the stress of trying to sort all those thoughts out causes one hell of a headache! You also have a greatly increased ability to absorb, store and process information. Somehow, I don't think Schoolwork is going to be much of a challenge anymore" She grinned. So did I. Loved the idea of not having to struggle with homework! "Eventually, you might not only be able to "hear" thoughts, but project them as well. Telekinesis is also a possibility." She started pacing the room. "We're going to want you in on a regular basis, Shinji. We have to start to put together some means for you to learn to use them without harming either yourself or anyone else." She stopped pacing for the moment. "Have you been having trouble sleeping lately, Shinji?" "Well, now that you mention it." "That, at least we can help right now". She grabbed a bottle of pills "Take these. They'll greatly reduce the neural sensitivity. We'll decrease the amount as your control increases." She smiled, rubbing her hands and resembling a little girl given free reign in a toy shop. "Shinji, you never cease to amaze me!" "Uh-yeah, thanks doc." I didn't know whether to laugh or throw up. It never got easier, did it?

Then came the U.N inquiry into 3rd impact. Endless question upon question, blurring into the next. One official must have fancied himself as a theologian because he asked me the most asinine question I had ever heard. "Shinji Ikari, do you believe that you are god's chosen Messiah?" After I brutally suppressed a roar of laughter I answered, "Respectfully, No. And if I might add something, I believe that any deity who would entrust the fate of the entire human race into the hands of a clinically depressed 15 year old must be one VERY sick puppy!"

The uproar this caused took quite some time to calm down.

Eventually, I was found blameless in the whole affair. The U.N and mankind as a whole owed me a debt that could never be repaid, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda. As a reward for my service to humanity, I was given an honorary rank of Lieutenant Colonel, with commensurate pay and benefits. I was also given a card that guaranteed me virtually unlimited funding. Add on the accumulated pay in my trust fund and small private fortunes left by my parents, well, let's just say I was obscenely well off. I really didn't give a damn about that, though. I just wanted to start living again.

Fate has never been very kind to me.

I couldn't go out in public without being mobbed by hero worshippers and religious fanatics alike; armed guards became a regular escort. Dating might have been pleasant if it weren't for the fact they all resulted in paternity suits. Hell, I barely even got to first base with most of them! DNA testing nullified each, but provided great grist for the tabloids and Paparazzi. As Ritsuko predicted, school was no challenge anymore; My scores were enough to get me into the University of my choice. In the meantime, at the insistence of Ritsuko and the bridge bunnies, I was invited to share a large multi-bedroom house outside Tokyo-2. There I found acceptance, and friendship. I jammed with Aoba, bullshitted and brainstormed with Maya and Makoto, and was even adopted by one of Ritsuko's "children", a little fuzz ball who woke me each morning purring contentedly on my chest. Then, all too soon, decision time. I needed to pick a University. I hated living in a fishbowl, so the choice was obvious-I was going to go to the University of New Manhattan, in the states. A few weeks later, I found myself on a transatlantic flight to the Federated nation- states of the Americas. As we crossed over into New Yorsey, my destination reared up in the distance, circle upon gleaming circle of buildings and parks. The city of New Manhattan, Hub city, the Bull's-eye. Most folks just called it the "Big O". The cabin lights came on. "Attention passengers, we are beginning our approach to Roger Smith International Airport. Please fasten your safety belts and return all tray tables and seat backs to an upright position. On Behalf of the Captain and crew, we thank you for flying JAL, and wish you a pleasant day."

At that moment, there was a loud knock on my hotel door.