Requiem Chapter 8:
Denouement Disclaimer: see chapter 1.
Authors note: The previous chapter 8 was discarded since all it did was clutter the story and increase the potential for reader confusion. I decided this after reading the review by RichardRahl. It got me thinking, and the conclusion was obvious. Thank you for pointing this out, Rich. You're a man of few words, but every one counts. This will be the last chapter, since the story has pretty much run its course. It will resolve a loose end that's remained open since chapters 2 and 3.
Special thanks to jennyjennai, PhilG, and others who stuck with me the whole way. Your critiques were invaluable in helping me map out this tale. In a very real sense, you folks acted as my muses. I don't think it would have turned out even half so well if you hadn't chimed in. And now, enough blathering and sappy speeches. This ain't the academy awards y'know!
The bar and grill was a nice little place, nothing too fancy. Simple menus, a decent drink selection, you know the type. It was a good place to meet friends for lunch, or to unwind after a hard days work. I was waiting for someone. I knew she was going to be here. It was part of her regular routine, these days. A friend of mine had supplied me with that information. Kensuke Aida, founder and C.E.O of Info Maniac, Inc. You know the ads; they always finished with the tag line "Are you an info maniac?" Now say that a few times fast. Once a perv, always a perv, I guess. He had set up a search routine that checked for transactions done under the name of Misato Katsuragi, then used it to track her movements. Unethical? Maybe. But for me, a necessary evil.
I knew that she was special liaison between GEHIRN and the U.N. The paperwork had to be a killer and Misato and papers didn't mix, any more than a normal human's digestive processes would mix with her "cooking". She always showed up here before heading for her apartment on the upper west side of town. It was a ritzy area, home to diplomats and celebrities. Naturally, Misato's flamboyant personality would blend right in. No one would even comment on her more drunken episodes, just par for the course.
I'd originally planned on having words with her at the taping of the television special on 3rd impact and the people involved. I was going to pop in unexpectedly and go from there. The more I thought about it though, the more distasteful the idea became for me. Although she had deserted me, I had no desire to humiliate her on national T.V. In spite of everything, Misato and I were family in a screwed-up dysfunctional way, and I needed to know what had caused this estrangement. I had a sneaking suspicion as to why, and another "contact" that had surfaced unexpectedly via Kensuke's efforts might help more than anything else possibly could. Years ago, I would have torn her a new one without a thought. Having people who loved and cared about me had changed my whole outlook on life. I looked at the bejeweled symbol of infinity resting on my finger, the memory giving me a feeling of warmth and contentment. Family was very important to me these days, and that included Misato.
I was seated at a table towards the back. A mirror on the wall allowed me to keep an eye on the bar. I looked like a typical salary man, with a black trench coat and wrap around shades. Very inconspicuous. I liked inconspicuous. My patience was soon rewarded. There she was, right on schedule! Outwardly, she hadn't changed much. She still had a figure most women would kill to have, and there was no mistaking that hair. Her bearing and attitude were a very different story. Her face seemed more careworn; the usual zest for life was absent. She walked as if carrying a weight on her shoulders and ennui permeated the air around her. The bartender had a freshly chilled mug in front of her without even being asked.
After a little while, I motioned to a server and requested that he bring her a pitcher of a very good imported brand I favored. A puzzled look appeared on her face, and then brightened when the server explained things. He pointed my way. She started to walk, or rather sashay over (not without the pitcher, though). I was laughing inwardly as she thrust her bust out more and put an extra bit of shimmy in her hips. The flirtatious look I knew of old was in full bloom on her face. She sat down on the other side of the table and looked me over, smile growing broader in approval. She still hadn't twigged to who I was.
"Hi! Thanks for the beer!" Puzzlement showed in her eyes. "You're new here. Can't recall seeing you before. This time she practically undressed me while she ogled, approval and hunger starting to show. "I'd surely know if I had, believe me!" More than a little smoke in her voice now.
"My pleasure Misato. It's been a while, now, hasn't it." I took off the shades that masked my eyes. She went white with shock. I thought for a moment that she was going to pass out.
"Shinji?!" she gasped. I nodded. "Oh my god, you've changed!" Her hand reached out, fingers tracing the outlines of my face. Then, tears flooded her eyes, and she started to weep. "Ohgodohgodohgod, Shinji, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I changed seats and sat down next to her, doing something that I never would have done those years ago; I wrapped my arms around her, holding her until the tears and sobs subsided.
"Sorry? Hey, that's always been my line! You trying to horn in on my territory?" I lightly mocked, one finger flicking a tear off her cheek. I saw a wan smile grace her lips. She chugged the rest of her mug, visibly steadying herself.
"Yeah, you've definitely changed" She chuckled slightly, a quiver still in her voice. "Why are you here, Shinji? Why now? After all this time."
"Well, it is New Genesis. You're supposed to try and solve differences and start fresh. You're supposed to spend it with family." I speared her with a look. "I want to find out what happened to ours. Why, Misato? Why'd you leave without even saying a word? Why did you desert me?!" The words grated out, returning pain filling every word.
"3rd impact happened she replied, tone devoid of any happiness. "My being shot to death happened." I waited for her to continue.
"I remember pain. Then, it was the weirdest thing.I seem to remember Rei, taking my hand. Suddenly I'm seeing with other eyes, thinking with other's thoughts. I remember I saw family, my father alive again. I finally was able to tell him how much I really loved him, and to hear him apologizing, and saying it back. And then, I saw Kaji." The tears welled up again. "He. told me how he really felt. I was completely happy for the first time in I don't know how long. I was never going to leave him. Everything was perfect."
Darkness then slid over her features.
"Then you rejected instrumentality. Everything started to crumble. Kaji and I were forced apart. I tried to run after him, to follow him. I found myself running into this orange red glow. Then, I'm on a beach, coughing up LCL. Alone. No family. No Kaji."
I saw sorrow and anger building in her eyes. "Why, Shinji? You had the power of a god! You could've had any reality, brought back anyone you wanted!! Why not him?! Don't I deserve happiness after all I've done and all that's happened? Why'd you ruin my life?!" Her hand flashed out in what was meant to be a stinging slap. I blocked it, hard. So that was it. Another loved one who was hurt by my actions. But this time, I wasn't going to accept the blame. I was done with that. "Which life, Misato?" I growled, sarcasm lacing my voice. "You got a brand new one. You were given a fresh start, a second chance. You even got a new liver and brand new plumbing." I softened my voice. "Misato, you could even have children! You could've had the family you've yearned for!" I paused to let it sink in, and then continued, my tone cold enough to freeze nitrogen.
"But no, you needed a scapegoat and I was convenient. You used to accuse me of always running away, but at least I never made a secret of it. You, however, are still running. You ran from your father! You ran from Kaji! And now, you're running from yourself! Why the hell don't you face up to reality?!" The scorn I showed lashed out, each word dripping with acid. But I wasn't done yet.
"The power of god? Bullshit! I had the power to make a choice. I could choose life, or I could choose illusion. I could take in all that life offered, or I could lose my individuality.and my soul. The only reality was this one right here. All others were just so much illusion that Lillith created, to keep her "children" content and happy like so much cattle. I chose reality, Misato. And in returning, I pointed the way for others to do so as well. I couldn't bring back anyone, Misato! The choice was up to the individual. All those with the will or the strength to return could. Don't you see?"
"But.I don't understand. Why didn't kaji."
"Why didn't he come back? I don't know. Maybe he wasn't ready. Maybe he felt YOU weren't ready. Maybe he did come back, but chose not to tell you. You know what kind of life he led. Maybe he just wanted to keep you safe." A look of dull resignation settled over her face, eyes closing. Then.
"Why not ask me yourself, Katsuragi? Give the kid a break!" A familiar voice intruded. Standing behind her was a man. He was actually clean shaven, and the pony tail was gone, but the face was unmistakable. I smiled. My "contact" had finally made it.
For the second time today, Misato blanched, only this time there was no sorrow. Joy blazed across her face. "Kaji.?" She whispered, then "KAJI!!" She shrieked. I just barely got out of the way in time to avoid being trampled on before she dove into his arms, practically knocking him over. As has been often said, Misato is an ample woman. Kaji had his hands full! I smiled. I was being ignored by Misato, but I didn't mind at all. I hated to cause pain to people I loved. I was glad I could get rid of hers. I started to leave, but Kaji caught my eye. He smiled, and gave me thumbs up mouthing 3 simple words; "Thank you, Shinji!" That made it all worth while. It would take time to set things fully to rights, but the first steps had been taken. I just hoped I'd get an invitation to the wedding. Speaking of which, I had to meet my bride-to-be for dinner. She had been out all day (shudder!) shopping. What it is with women and shopping is beyond me. I just prayed I didn't need another suitcase or 3 to carry home all the loot.
With a last look over my shoulder and a lilt in my step, I made my way up the sidewalk, whistling.
Mission accomplished.
Denouement Disclaimer: see chapter 1.
Authors note: The previous chapter 8 was discarded since all it did was clutter the story and increase the potential for reader confusion. I decided this after reading the review by RichardRahl. It got me thinking, and the conclusion was obvious. Thank you for pointing this out, Rich. You're a man of few words, but every one counts. This will be the last chapter, since the story has pretty much run its course. It will resolve a loose end that's remained open since chapters 2 and 3.
Special thanks to jennyjennai, PhilG, and others who stuck with me the whole way. Your critiques were invaluable in helping me map out this tale. In a very real sense, you folks acted as my muses. I don't think it would have turned out even half so well if you hadn't chimed in. And now, enough blathering and sappy speeches. This ain't the academy awards y'know!
The bar and grill was a nice little place, nothing too fancy. Simple menus, a decent drink selection, you know the type. It was a good place to meet friends for lunch, or to unwind after a hard days work. I was waiting for someone. I knew she was going to be here. It was part of her regular routine, these days. A friend of mine had supplied me with that information. Kensuke Aida, founder and C.E.O of Info Maniac, Inc. You know the ads; they always finished with the tag line "Are you an info maniac?" Now say that a few times fast. Once a perv, always a perv, I guess. He had set up a search routine that checked for transactions done under the name of Misato Katsuragi, then used it to track her movements. Unethical? Maybe. But for me, a necessary evil.
I knew that she was special liaison between GEHIRN and the U.N. The paperwork had to be a killer and Misato and papers didn't mix, any more than a normal human's digestive processes would mix with her "cooking". She always showed up here before heading for her apartment on the upper west side of town. It was a ritzy area, home to diplomats and celebrities. Naturally, Misato's flamboyant personality would blend right in. No one would even comment on her more drunken episodes, just par for the course.
I'd originally planned on having words with her at the taping of the television special on 3rd impact and the people involved. I was going to pop in unexpectedly and go from there. The more I thought about it though, the more distasteful the idea became for me. Although she had deserted me, I had no desire to humiliate her on national T.V. In spite of everything, Misato and I were family in a screwed-up dysfunctional way, and I needed to know what had caused this estrangement. I had a sneaking suspicion as to why, and another "contact" that had surfaced unexpectedly via Kensuke's efforts might help more than anything else possibly could. Years ago, I would have torn her a new one without a thought. Having people who loved and cared about me had changed my whole outlook on life. I looked at the bejeweled symbol of infinity resting on my finger, the memory giving me a feeling of warmth and contentment. Family was very important to me these days, and that included Misato.
I was seated at a table towards the back. A mirror on the wall allowed me to keep an eye on the bar. I looked like a typical salary man, with a black trench coat and wrap around shades. Very inconspicuous. I liked inconspicuous. My patience was soon rewarded. There she was, right on schedule! Outwardly, she hadn't changed much. She still had a figure most women would kill to have, and there was no mistaking that hair. Her bearing and attitude were a very different story. Her face seemed more careworn; the usual zest for life was absent. She walked as if carrying a weight on her shoulders and ennui permeated the air around her. The bartender had a freshly chilled mug in front of her without even being asked.
After a little while, I motioned to a server and requested that he bring her a pitcher of a very good imported brand I favored. A puzzled look appeared on her face, and then brightened when the server explained things. He pointed my way. She started to walk, or rather sashay over (not without the pitcher, though). I was laughing inwardly as she thrust her bust out more and put an extra bit of shimmy in her hips. The flirtatious look I knew of old was in full bloom on her face. She sat down on the other side of the table and looked me over, smile growing broader in approval. She still hadn't twigged to who I was.
"Hi! Thanks for the beer!" Puzzlement showed in her eyes. "You're new here. Can't recall seeing you before. This time she practically undressed me while she ogled, approval and hunger starting to show. "I'd surely know if I had, believe me!" More than a little smoke in her voice now.
"My pleasure Misato. It's been a while, now, hasn't it." I took off the shades that masked my eyes. She went white with shock. I thought for a moment that she was going to pass out.
"Shinji?!" she gasped. I nodded. "Oh my god, you've changed!" Her hand reached out, fingers tracing the outlines of my face. Then, tears flooded her eyes, and she started to weep. "Ohgodohgodohgod, Shinji, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I changed seats and sat down next to her, doing something that I never would have done those years ago; I wrapped my arms around her, holding her until the tears and sobs subsided.
"Sorry? Hey, that's always been my line! You trying to horn in on my territory?" I lightly mocked, one finger flicking a tear off her cheek. I saw a wan smile grace her lips. She chugged the rest of her mug, visibly steadying herself.
"Yeah, you've definitely changed" She chuckled slightly, a quiver still in her voice. "Why are you here, Shinji? Why now? After all this time."
"Well, it is New Genesis. You're supposed to try and solve differences and start fresh. You're supposed to spend it with family." I speared her with a look. "I want to find out what happened to ours. Why, Misato? Why'd you leave without even saying a word? Why did you desert me?!" The words grated out, returning pain filling every word.
"3rd impact happened she replied, tone devoid of any happiness. "My being shot to death happened." I waited for her to continue.
"I remember pain. Then, it was the weirdest thing.I seem to remember Rei, taking my hand. Suddenly I'm seeing with other eyes, thinking with other's thoughts. I remember I saw family, my father alive again. I finally was able to tell him how much I really loved him, and to hear him apologizing, and saying it back. And then, I saw Kaji." The tears welled up again. "He. told me how he really felt. I was completely happy for the first time in I don't know how long. I was never going to leave him. Everything was perfect."
Darkness then slid over her features.
"Then you rejected instrumentality. Everything started to crumble. Kaji and I were forced apart. I tried to run after him, to follow him. I found myself running into this orange red glow. Then, I'm on a beach, coughing up LCL. Alone. No family. No Kaji."
I saw sorrow and anger building in her eyes. "Why, Shinji? You had the power of a god! You could've had any reality, brought back anyone you wanted!! Why not him?! Don't I deserve happiness after all I've done and all that's happened? Why'd you ruin my life?!" Her hand flashed out in what was meant to be a stinging slap. I blocked it, hard. So that was it. Another loved one who was hurt by my actions. But this time, I wasn't going to accept the blame. I was done with that. "Which life, Misato?" I growled, sarcasm lacing my voice. "You got a brand new one. You were given a fresh start, a second chance. You even got a new liver and brand new plumbing." I softened my voice. "Misato, you could even have children! You could've had the family you've yearned for!" I paused to let it sink in, and then continued, my tone cold enough to freeze nitrogen.
"But no, you needed a scapegoat and I was convenient. You used to accuse me of always running away, but at least I never made a secret of it. You, however, are still running. You ran from your father! You ran from Kaji! And now, you're running from yourself! Why the hell don't you face up to reality?!" The scorn I showed lashed out, each word dripping with acid. But I wasn't done yet.
"The power of god? Bullshit! I had the power to make a choice. I could choose life, or I could choose illusion. I could take in all that life offered, or I could lose my individuality.and my soul. The only reality was this one right here. All others were just so much illusion that Lillith created, to keep her "children" content and happy like so much cattle. I chose reality, Misato. And in returning, I pointed the way for others to do so as well. I couldn't bring back anyone, Misato! The choice was up to the individual. All those with the will or the strength to return could. Don't you see?"
"But.I don't understand. Why didn't kaji."
"Why didn't he come back? I don't know. Maybe he wasn't ready. Maybe he felt YOU weren't ready. Maybe he did come back, but chose not to tell you. You know what kind of life he led. Maybe he just wanted to keep you safe." A look of dull resignation settled over her face, eyes closing. Then.
"Why not ask me yourself, Katsuragi? Give the kid a break!" A familiar voice intruded. Standing behind her was a man. He was actually clean shaven, and the pony tail was gone, but the face was unmistakable. I smiled. My "contact" had finally made it.
For the second time today, Misato blanched, only this time there was no sorrow. Joy blazed across her face. "Kaji.?" She whispered, then "KAJI!!" She shrieked. I just barely got out of the way in time to avoid being trampled on before she dove into his arms, practically knocking him over. As has been often said, Misato is an ample woman. Kaji had his hands full! I smiled. I was being ignored by Misato, but I didn't mind at all. I hated to cause pain to people I loved. I was glad I could get rid of hers. I started to leave, but Kaji caught my eye. He smiled, and gave me thumbs up mouthing 3 simple words; "Thank you, Shinji!" That made it all worth while. It would take time to set things fully to rights, but the first steps had been taken. I just hoped I'd get an invitation to the wedding. Speaking of which, I had to meet my bride-to-be for dinner. She had been out all day (shudder!) shopping. What it is with women and shopping is beyond me. I just prayed I didn't need another suitcase or 3 to carry home all the loot.
With a last look over my shoulder and a lilt in my step, I made my way up the sidewalk, whistling.
Mission accomplished.
