Thanks to all my faithfull reviewers Drowchild, Spice of Life, Beena-Pani
and HipHopMarmalade :)
* * *
Well here I am.
I'm hiding into the one of the holes.
I don't want to see the jealous looks.
I don't want to see the hatred.
I don't want to hear the fake happiness from my friends.
I'm so happy for you.
Wow you must be happy your getting out.
Get to see the trees again hey?...
The towns..
Finally some activity hey Zig?
And behind my back they act like everybody else.
Jealous.
Bitter.
Black.
I don't want to go back to the « real world ».
I'm scared.
I admit it.
I feel like I just was born.like they want to make me do something to big for myself.
Here, it was my small little world.
There was nothing more than the camp and the holes.
Here I was in my own little desert.and now strangely I don't want to see the oasis.
Because to me it feels like the oasis itself is the desert ready to kill me.
To suffocate me.
To drown me in despair.
And this camp was the oasis, it saved me.
And now they want me to leave.
I cannot leave.
I won't make it.
I'll die.
Here there was no water.
The fire was safe.
Here there was no snow.
The white couldnt get to me.
Here there was always room for black things.
At night.and I could see the stars.
They were so blindingly white.and out of reach.
If I cannot reach them they cannot reach me.
Out There there you can't see the stars.
Out There theres colours everywhere, so many of them you simply cannot bare to think about what they mean.
So many different principles from different point of vues that you can't know what is good or bad.
And theres mean people.white people.
That kill children.
That murder.
Cheat.
Steal.
Kill.
Out There, I know I will feel nothing except hopelessness.
Because Just thinking of it here, even in this closed space I feel like the vast thing that awaits me will just swallow me whole.
I'm scared.so scared.
I feel so hopeless.
Helpless.
I can't go there.
I can't let it happen.
Kathy's dead..
Oh my god she is.
It's true..if it wasn't they wouldnt let me go out for her funeral.
But if shes gone, I have to reason to live.no reason..
There is no reason to live now.
*I get up*
There is no greater purpose in life
*Fuel being pored into one of the countless holes surounding me*
There are no colours.
*A flame dancing by the horison*
There's just me.
*The hole the farest from camp alive with fire, burning at the edge of my life*
All that light.it almost looks like a way to heaven.
*People running, yelling, but they're to far*
Now there's just me.just me and the fire.
* * *
Sigh. That finishes my trilogy.three three-part fics as I promised.
I hope you guys like it :)
There wont be more now.for real. Fire was spose to be alone but yessee.White just wrote itself like a dream.and Black finishes everything up quite nicely dont you think? I hope you all enjoyed reading and taking in the different possibilities for what certain things meant. So Karine Black salutes you all and will now go be sorrowfull elsewhere ;)
Review?
* * *
Well here I am.
I'm hiding into the one of the holes.
I don't want to see the jealous looks.
I don't want to see the hatred.
I don't want to hear the fake happiness from my friends.
I'm so happy for you.
Wow you must be happy your getting out.
Get to see the trees again hey?...
The towns..
Finally some activity hey Zig?
And behind my back they act like everybody else.
Jealous.
Bitter.
Black.
I don't want to go back to the « real world ».
I'm scared.
I admit it.
I feel like I just was born.like they want to make me do something to big for myself.
Here, it was my small little world.
There was nothing more than the camp and the holes.
Here I was in my own little desert.and now strangely I don't want to see the oasis.
Because to me it feels like the oasis itself is the desert ready to kill me.
To suffocate me.
To drown me in despair.
And this camp was the oasis, it saved me.
And now they want me to leave.
I cannot leave.
I won't make it.
I'll die.
Here there was no water.
The fire was safe.
Here there was no snow.
The white couldnt get to me.
Here there was always room for black things.
At night.and I could see the stars.
They were so blindingly white.and out of reach.
If I cannot reach them they cannot reach me.
Out There there you can't see the stars.
Out There theres colours everywhere, so many of them you simply cannot bare to think about what they mean.
So many different principles from different point of vues that you can't know what is good or bad.
And theres mean people.white people.
That kill children.
That murder.
Cheat.
Steal.
Kill.
Out There, I know I will feel nothing except hopelessness.
Because Just thinking of it here, even in this closed space I feel like the vast thing that awaits me will just swallow me whole.
I'm scared.so scared.
I feel so hopeless.
Helpless.
I can't go there.
I can't let it happen.
Kathy's dead..
Oh my god she is.
It's true..if it wasn't they wouldnt let me go out for her funeral.
But if shes gone, I have to reason to live.no reason..
There is no reason to live now.
*I get up*
There is no greater purpose in life
*Fuel being pored into one of the countless holes surounding me*
There are no colours.
*A flame dancing by the horison*
There's just me.
*The hole the farest from camp alive with fire, burning at the edge of my life*
All that light.it almost looks like a way to heaven.
*People running, yelling, but they're to far*
Now there's just me.just me and the fire.
* * *
Sigh. That finishes my trilogy.three three-part fics as I promised.
I hope you guys like it :)
There wont be more now.for real. Fire was spose to be alone but yessee.White just wrote itself like a dream.and Black finishes everything up quite nicely dont you think? I hope you all enjoyed reading and taking in the different possibilities for what certain things meant. So Karine Black salutes you all and will now go be sorrowfull elsewhere ;)
Review?
