Disclaimer: I don't own Alias. Are you happy now?
A/N: Here you go, enjoy! I used a translator for the French. See bottom for translations. I don't remember is Lauren speaks French, but for the sake of this story, let's say she doesn't, ok.
Alias's funniest home videos
Chapter 1~ Sark
Sydney cocked her head to the side and a smile crept up on face. Lauren's mouth was wide in shock. Vaughn and Weiss were trying to avoid eye contact with the screen. Sark's expression mimicked Lauren's.
Sydney cocked her head to the side and a smile crept up on her face. Lauren's mouth was wide in shock. Vaughn and Weiss were trying to avoid eye contact with the screen. Sark's expression mimicked Lauren's.
We see a naked Sark ( ^_~ ) skipping down the street. He is only about 7 or 8 though… ( ^-^) He is skipping down the street with some boy trailing behind him. He starts to say something soon to break the silence, obviously not caring he's buck naked,
" La de La d'Ooo. Elle se sent vraiment fraîche dehors ici. Le pont de
Londres tombe vers le bas, faling en bas de tomber vers le bas. Le
pont de Londres faling vers le bas, mon ooo juste de dame... que je
sens.... le camion tellement joli de crême glacée d'oo ! Aucun
Samual, vous ne pouvez avoir aucun de mon mmoney ! Vous êtes jsut
jaloux parce que je suis joli. Je veux le voyage d'étoile pour mon
anniversaire.…" We see Sam looking disappointed. Then we hear a man yell at Sark.
"Julien, revenez ici maintenant ! Vous savez son non sûr, vous devez
rester hors de l'emplacement si vous allez... et cesser de parler
comme un tel sissy."
The tape is fast forwarded to a scene where Sark is running away from the man yelling at the top of his lungs, "Peu petit, pipi de pipi ! Je me sens si libre ! Pipi petit petit de
Pipi !"
Sydney burst out laughing and looks toward where Sark was where he is now beat red and growing redder by the millisecond. Vaughn had an amused smile on his face, definite leverage for later. Lauren looked around confused. Sloane looked around purposefully avoiding Sark. To help Lauren, and because she could no longer hold it in, Sydney burst out with, "You were a trekie? Did you miss Britain that much?" she asked.
"What was that wee wee pee pee stuff about?" Vaughn asked. Weiss looked at a confused Lauren and translated what had happened.
"Ok, when Sark started running naked, he said, 'Ooo la la. It feels really breezy out here. London Bridge is falling down, falling down. falling down. London Bridge is falling down, my fair lady... ooo i feel so pretty.... oo Ice Cream truck! No Samual, you can't have any of my money! You're just jealous because I'm pretty. I want Star Trek for my birthday.…" he waited to see what her response would be. Sark was now lurking in a corner far, far away from everybody. Getting up he finally decided to tell everyone he was Samual.
"It's a little to late for that Sark." Sydney laughed. While Weiss continued translating.
"'Julian, get back here now! You know its not safe, you must remain out of site if you are going to... And stop talking like such a sissy.' is what the guy was yelling at Sark. Then it skipped forward and Sark started yelling on the top of his lungs, 'Wee wee, pee pee! I feel so free! Wee wee pee pee!'". Weiss took a breath then practically rolled around in laughter. The movie stopped and the little girl's voice came back no over the speakers. "See, you used to be so free..." which caused a few snickers to be heard in the room. Apparently this did not settle well with the little girl. "Enough! I am trying to show you guys the innocence of what used to be. And if you guys keep interrupting me, then you'll be stuck here because until we're done showing you what we want to show you; you're all stuck here. So enjoy the time you're spending right now; until we're through time is all you'll have." With that the voice shut up.
Sydney spoke up first, "I say we kill Sloane first."
"How about we not." Sloane said.
"I'll second what Sydney said," Weiss stated.
"How about you all just shut up. Now the little brat wanted-" Sark started but was cut off by Lauren scoffing and saying,
"Like you should be talking."
"Don't start with me." Sark warned trying to talk again.
"No… Lauren, I think we should listen to Sark. The girl said that they wanted us to see something. To learn something. And until we do, we're not getting out of here. I don't know about the rest of you, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my life with some of the people in this room. I say we should shut up and pay attention."
"Yea, that's a good idea." Vaughn chipped in.
"that might work." Weiss said.
A girl, most likely a new recruit of Irina's spoke up. "I don't like that plan. How about we try to make a break for it, try a cell phone."
"I already tried no reception. It's like they are blocking the signals in this room." another agent stated up.
"Hey, you're a new recruit, aren't you?" Sydney asked the first girl.
"Yea, why?" she asked slowly.
"Well, how about you do what the people with the guns tell you to do?" Sydney asked.
Sark smirked. And everyone turned around when they heard a thud. Sloane had collapsed on the ground with Lauren standing above him holding a needle.
A/N: Review please. It'll be like a late Christmas gift. Plz? You never know who will take a bizarre/hilarious trip down memory lane next… ^_~ , review! The more reviews the faster I type.
1.)Ooo la la. It feels really breezy out here. London Bridge is falling down, faling down. falling down. London Bridge is faling down, my fair lady... ooo i feel so pretty.... oo Ice Cream truck! No Samual, you can't have any of my money! You're just jealous because I'm pretty. I want Star Trek for my birthday....
2.)Julian, get back here now! You know its not safe, you must remain out of site if you are going to... And stop talking like such a sissy.
3.)Wee wee, pee pee! I feel so free! Wee wee pee pee!
