Disclaimer: I don't own Alias, but I do own prequels to the series and season 1 on DVD.
A/N: I love all the reviews! They make me so happy. And when im happy.. I update sooner. I was thinking about calling this 'Why Lauren hates Christmas' but I changed my mind. This chapter is short, but oh well.
Chapter 3~ Lauren
Everyone looked at everyone else.
"Hey, it cant get any worse, can it?" Lauren asked.
"You better not have jinxed us." Sydney told her.
"Hello?" the little girl asked. "Are you ready? Whatever."
A movie started across screen and everyone became quiet, whether it was in fear or curiosity, you couldn't really tell.
"I wonder who it is." Lauren pondered out loud. That got her shushed once again.
We see a blonde little girl about 6 standing in front of the camera wearing an extremely oversized red dress and a plastic princess crown on. When she picks up the bottom of the dress to walk we see she is wearing pink plastic princess slippers. She fixes her hair then begins to speak to the camera in a British accent.
"Welcome to another addition to 'Everyone loves Lauren.' And I am your host, Lauren, who everyone loves, obviously, " The little girl started. Sydney scoffed at this, but no one said anything because they were all thinking the same thing. Conceited.
"Anywhoo, we have a special episode today since it is close to the holidays. We will go around and inspect people's front yards. We will grade them on how well the decorated them. Doesn't that sound like fun." She said enthusiastically.
"Is this supposed to be humiliating for her?" Sydney whispered to Weiss. He shrugged and continued to watch the video.
"Ok, follow me." she lead them outside tripping a few times in the dress that was probably her mom's but she was borrowing. "Oh, wow, I give that house an almost perfect 10." she told the camera pointing to a house the had snow on its roof, windows, trees, and ground. Santa, his sleigh, reindeer and presents sat perched on the top of the house near the chimney. Lights lit up the tree and the wrapped around the trunks were multi-colored lights with moving lit up reindeer on the ground. They had 'curtain' lights on the roof in a surreal blue. Bows were tied to the tree that lit up in a bright red fashion. There were presents scattered diversely around the yard. Wrapped around the chain fence were lights that weaved in and out. Topping it off were the decorations and a few holiday neon lights in the windows. "Ok, now on to the next house." she said. She graded the house beaming at the great work and effort put into the decorations. "I love this part of Christmas, don't you?" Her smile disappeared as she saw the next house. It was a normal sized yard with snow on the roof, trees and ground. One tree had lights on it, and there was a drawing attached to another tree of a stick figure Santa Clause with the crappiest drawings of boxes you ever seen. 2 lines were drawing connecting it to what you could only assume to be reindeer. They looked more like a dog, a cow, and a hippopotamus mixed together. Where the antlers should be they had pointy ears. The house looked like it needed to be repainted and or pressure-washed. There were cracks all over the house and the windows were dirty. The was a humungous snowman that stood about only a few feet from the sidewalk. It's face was contoured and looked hideous.
Lauren scrunched up her face in disgust.
"Well, uh," she started, looking uncomfortable and like she wanted to puke. "The house certainly is original in it's vulgar ways, I suppose. And that snowman is revolting, well maybe they were on a budget. This is an example of people living on a budget, you see-" she started.
"You think I'm ugly?" a voice asked. Lauren gave a small scream.
"Who- who said that?" she asked backing away from the house. In less then a few seconds the snowman started running towards her and Lauren took off running. She tripped because of the size of the dress and she hiked it up quickly, taking off the slippers as well and ran as fast as her legs could carry her. The camera person tried to tell Lauren to stop running. The camera whipped back around to the snowman, but he was now gone. In it's place sat a pile of snow with an old man on top of it, slapping his knee and laughing.
The movie shut off with it's audience still laughing.
"You thought the snowman was gonna get you?" Weiss asked.
Sydney stopped laughing to say, "this has been another addition of: When snowmen attack. Tune in next time for-"
"I was small! I didn't know better!" Lauren interrupted.
"What happened to 'everyone loves Lauren'? Well, then I guess not everyone does." Sark told her.
The little girl spoke up again. "Innocence can come with being vain and naive. But, adolescence also comes with loyalty, courage, curiosity, and a pure mind. That was another example of that. Now, who should we see next?"
"We? She can see it too?" Lauren murmured.
A/N: So, you wanna see who is next? Then review, review, review! I don't know if I will do the trainees because we don't really know them. If you hated this fic, first of all, why are you reading it, secondly then flame me, I find it amusing. But I like non-flames better.
