Chapter 21

Love's Turmoil

Hermione gasped and coughed, "Ron?" she asked gasping for breath, Harry stood beside her and helped her up.

He released Ron, 'Your master has been thrown into Shadow, you are no longer a danger,' Harry sent directly into Ron's brain. Ron looked shocked.

"I will have my vengeance another day," Harry snapped.

Hermione glanced at Harry, "Don't you dare touch my boyfriend," she said.

Harry glanced back, "You may feel differently in the future," he answered in a voice between love and enmity. Hermione walked over and kissed Ron, but she felt so wrong… like this was a betrayal of her own heart and soul… Harry walked out angrily, his cloak swishing behind him. Harry sat on the West tower, remembering when he and Hermione had tried to kiss… he began to cry… he longed for her touch, her love.

Ginny sat by him the next morning, "Hi Harry," she said quietly, "I'm really sorry about what happened…"

Harry smiled at her half-heartedly. "It's okay Ginny, thanks," he replied. Ginny quickly changed the subject.

"Well guess what we're doing this summer?" she asked.

"No idea, what?" replied Harry.

"Mum is taking us to visit our aunt in Texas," said Ginny with a smile, "She's really a lot of fun out there, we get to do lots of stuff there we can't do here."

"That's great Ginny," replied Harry with a smile, "I'm sorry, I've got to go start packing."

"Sure, see you later," answered Ginny as Harry walked towards the Great Hall's doors and his room. Harry felt tears silently slid down his cheeks, he missed Hermione so much, it was bordering on physical pain. He began to pack, remembering what he had given her, he smiled slightly; she would be safe, although Hermione's parents didn't know that yet. Harry wished he knew whether or not to tell them about it…

A week later, it was time to leave Hogwarts, Harry sat in his room; he wouldn't go by the Hogwarts Express because he would have to tell Mr. and Mrs. Granger what happened before she got home. Harry watched as the train pulled away, there was a knock on his door.

"Yes?" came his harsh voice.

The door opened, Dumbledore walked in, "Hello Harry," he said quietly standing beside him, "You will have to fight for her, but what you two have is very rare. It will come back to her."

"Yes, but not quickly, I must allow her to discover it for herself," said Harry in a whisper, "It will seem to be an eternity before she realizes why she can't sleep at night."

"Why Harry?" asked Dumbledore noticing that Harry looked very tired.

"Same reason as I," replied Harry.

"Why?" repeated Dumbledore.

Harry sighed and turned away, "I must explain to Mr. and Mrs. Granger what happened," Harry said touching his trunk, "Then I must find a place to live." His trunk disappeared into flames.

"Why Harry?" Dumbledore repeated again.

"Because, we have our reason, whether subconscious or conscious," Harry whispered tears falling silently.

"What reason?" asked Dumbledore.

"[i]Enough," said Harry still crying silently. He wiped his tears and disappeared in a rush of flames.

Ron and Hermione sat next to each other, "Would you like a kiss honey?" he asked.

Hermione smiled, "Yes," she replied, she felt so tired, she hadn't slept in a while… Ron kissed her, Hermione suddenly felt like this was just [i]wrong. That he shouldn't have kissed her… She almost felt lonely, [i]longing for someone…

Harry appeared in the Granger's kitchen, "Harry, dear!" said Mrs. Granger hugging him, "Have you proposed to her yet? Where is Hermione?"

Harry hugged her back, "I'm truly sorry, I bear bad news," he said.

"What is she…?" Mrs. Granger's face went white.

"No, no, she's fine; well, that way, where is John, he should be in on this," said Harry.

"JOHN!" shouted Mrs. Granger.

Mr. Granger came running, "What is it?" he asked concerned.

"You'd both better sit down," Harry said as he sighed and motioned to the two chairs closest to him, which dragged out for them and sat down in the third.

John and Kathy sat down, "Well?" they both asked at once.

"Hermione's memory has been… err… shall we say altered?" started Harry, "I think I should start at the beginning." Harry paused, "Ron, our other friend, betrayed us during a critical moment when Hogwarts was attacked by Voldemort, both Hermione and I were captured, from what Dumbledore told me the teachers and rest of our group were able to make it back to the castle after the Centaurs helped them, since the castle was protected it repelled them, if it hadn't been for my shield around it, all of Hogwarts would have been destroyed." Harry paused again, "Voldemort altered Hermione's memory as payment to Ron for… shall we say 'services rendered'? She lost the 'memory' of joining Voldemort, but still Voldemort went further than that, he changed her entire year worth of memories, I got through to her the first time," Harry's voice quivered and tears ran down his cheeks, "But one of the Death Eaters was able to kill her, when I brought her back, she lost the memory of what happened; so I've lost her again, in another sense," Harry paused again, the Grangers both looked astounded, "I know it is difficult to believe I'm asking you this, but I must ask you not to attempt to bring back her memory, let it come back naturally."

Mrs. Granger was the first to respond, "I don't want this Ron in our house," she said in an angry tone.

"Don't interfere, let her come to the realization, I'm begging you," said Harry quickly, "Already Hermione invited him over, allow it, though I'm sorry to say I can't live with you guys yet, it will take time."

"Where would you go?" asked Mr. Granger, "You have no family left." Harry smiled quietly, "I will let you know, it will be very close, but far enough away to give her room to remember on her own," he answered, "I hope her memory of Death fades away forever, she should still have  that innocence… it is not good for the living to remember walking through Shadow and living in Death."

Harry didn't shiver this time, he no longer feared Shadow. "Why should we put up with this Ron?" asked Mrs. Granger.

Harry sighed, "I know it's difficult to understand, but already the realization something is wrong has hit her, I can feel doubt growing within her," said Harry quietly, "There is one good thing in all this."

"What?" asked Mrs. Granger.

"Our fondest memories of each other are when I was teaching her how to control things with her mind," said Harry then he stared at the floor and said in a very sad voice as tears slid down his cheeks again, "If she had known that without remembering our past, it would have been disaster, I would have had to kill her."

"Why?" asked Mr. Granger looking shocked.

"Because, if Voldemort had learned what I taught her… you could have almost completely written off the human race," replied Harry looking him in the eye, "I would have to pick between Hermione and the entire human race. What would you do?"

Mr. Granger sighed, "You're right Harry, you would have had to make that choice. I know you would never harm her unless you had no other choice," he said.

"It's not a problem now," said Harry.

"Why not?" asked Mr. Granger.

"Because, I cast Voldemort into Shadow. That way I didn't have to kill him…" replied Harry pausing.

"I have to go pick up Hermione," said Mr. Granger.

Harry nodded, "Remember, not a word!" he called after him.

He looked at Mrs. Granger, "I'm so sorry Kathy," he said.

"It's not your fault Harry," she said giving Harry a hug.

Harry smiled quietly, "I know, but I'm sorry you have to go through this," he said. "Harry, what about you, I know that neither of you can sleep without the other," Mrs. Granger said.

Harry sighed, "I know, it will seem an eternity," he replied, "I must go find a home for now…" Harry backed up and flames enveloped him. Mrs. Granger watched the spot from which her, hopefully eventual, son-in-law disappeared.

Mr. Granger picked up Hermione and Ron from Platform 9 ¾. Mr. Granger already didn't like Ron, he was glad Harry had said something, if he hadn't, Mr. Granger would have refused to allow Ron to stay at all. Mr. Granger had to suppress his anger at Ron; Ron had perhaps ruined a perfect relationship. One that would withstand this or at least Mr. Granger hoped so, he loved Harry like a son already…

Harry had looked at the one room shack and smiled, it was isolated, so he could 'improve' it. Harry purchased it from the ecstatic owner a few days after finding it and watched as the owner drove away. Harry smiled as the owner disappeared from sight. Harry turned back, he looked at it and smiled, it was time to improve it. Harry stretched his hand towards it; it turned into stone and grew… grew… and grew

When Hermione and Ron got to the Grangers residence, Mr. Granger was immensely tempted to ask Ron to leave. As time past, he liked Ron less and less, something was just wrong about him but Mr. Granger couldn't put his finger on it, something strange was going on with Hermione he didn't understand. Mrs. Granger, knew what was wrong with Hermione but not Ron, even though Hermione acted like she liked Ron, she could tell Hermione had doubts in her mind as to whether or not she really liked Ron… and she was becoming extremely irritable. But both Mr. and Mrs. Granger expected this, they knew she wasn't able to sleep at all. Ron had tried to sneak into her room late at night, but Mr. Granger had caught him. They both wondered about Harry, was he okay?

Harry looked over his work, it was now a 7 story mansion, compete with a gigantic library, Harry knew he would spend a lot of time there, he might as well, since he wouldn't be able to sleep… it almost felt like déjà vu. Harry sighed; he knew he was in for a rough couple of weeks at least.

The morning after Mr. and Mrs. Granger had stayed up late to discuss Harry and keep Ron from sneaking into Hermione's room; Harry was downstairs when Mrs. Granger came down with Amanda in her arms, "Hello Harry," she said fondly, "I'll go get John." Harry smiled at her, when Mr. and Mrs. Granger came down, Harry told them he lived on the other side of the mountain.

"You living in that old shack back there?" asked Mr. Granger sounding outraged at the condition in which Harry was living.

Harry laughed as he bounced Amanda on his knee, "I chose it for the isolation, not the décor," replied Harry with a smile, "It's now a 7 story mansion."

Before Mr. and Mrs. Granger could ask how this was accomplished; Hermione came down, she looked exhausted, "Mum, Dad! Harry's a Death Eater!" she started to shout.

Harry whispered before her voice could wake up Ron and she went silent, Amanda started crying, "Please don't wake up Ron, I would rather not see him, I might do something… rash… without my conscience to stop me," said Harry quietly, then whispered to Amanda, "Hey, it's okay… shh."

Amanda started to calm down, Harry released Hermione's voice, "What conscience do you have?" asked Hermione nastily.

"None, right now," replied Harry softly.

"Hermione, shut up," snapped Mrs. Granger.

"It's fine Kathy," said Harry softly.

"No, it's not Harry," replied Mrs. Granger angrily.

"Mum, he nearly killed Ron and me! How can you…" Hermione snapped but was interrupted.

"Enough," said Harry in a finishing tone. Hermione surprisingly fell silent.

Mrs. Granger glanced at Harry and whispered, "She must still care about you or she wouldn't have stopped."

Harry smiled at Mrs. Granger, "Kathy, Hermione and I share an inseparable bond, she knows it on a subconscious level," he whispered back. Hermione stared at Harry with a look of loathing. Harry stared back a moment, Hermione saw love and longing, the same longing that was in her own heart and soul… Hermione shook herself, what was she thinking?

"I would love you guys to visit me sometime," said Harry turning back to Mrs. Granger.

Mrs. Granger noticed Harry's eyes were bloodshot and tired, "Harry, are you okay?" she asked.

Hermione started back upstairs, Harry stared after her, "No," he said in a cracking voice, "I miss her… So much, more than I could ever say."

Mrs. Granger hugged him again, "I'm sorry you have to endure this, you shouldn't have to," she said.

"Kathy, this is my blessing and curse, everyone I love had always been in danger, perhaps she is safer this way for now," said Harry tears running down his cheeks.

"We would love to visit you for lunch tomorrow," she said.

"Sure," said Harry looking a little happier.

"Could you send Ron home?" asked Mrs. Granger.

"I can, yes, but why Kathy?" asked Harry.

"John and I really dislike him, even if you hadn't said something," said Mrs. Granger.

Mr. Granger sighed, "Harry, please send him home, I know we are not connected to the Floo network, but  I know you have your own ways of traveling, so, please, just send him home," Mr. Granger said in an almost begging tone. Harry felt sorry for him.

Harry sighed and handed Amanda to Mrs. Granger, "Okay, call him down," Harry said pulling his cloak on, his hood up and sitting back, his face completely in shadow, only his eyes showed through the shadow, red and blue with an internal fire.

Hermione came down again, "Who are you?" asked Hermione