Chapter 22

Reminiscence

Harry just nodded his hello, but didn't answer; Mrs. Granger glanced at him for a moment, but, thankfully, didn't say anything, Mr. Granger came down with Ron, "What is it?" asked Ron. Harry felt his anger rise, he suppressed it, but he didn't know for how long without Hermione to help by acting as his conscience. This didn't escape either Mr. or Mrs. Granger's notice as Harry stiffened, so they didn't waste time.

"We think you two should spend some time apart," started Mr. Granger. Ron started to pull out his wand, Harry was faster and raised his hand, Ron's wand flew into it and disappeared into flames. Harry's voice had changed, Mrs. Granger couldn't believe it was him; it was emotionless and mechanical, maybe even approaching cruel and merciless, and somehow, untraceably powerful and threatening.

"Don't try it again," he snarled. Harry's eyes glowed brighter, it seemed as though his irises were now in an uncontrolled blaze beneath his hood. Ron felt his wand in his pocket again, this time he seemed to cooperate but when Harry looked at Mrs. Granger for instructions; Ron pulled out his wand and sent a curse at Harry. Harry absorbed the spell without any injury; it lit up the bottom portion of his face. Ron was about to try again, Harry threw him into the wall with a motion, his hand holding Ron there even though he was 10 feet away.

"You wish to fight?" asked Harry in the same voice, "Then fight me, leave them out of this."

"Who are you?" snarled Ron.

Harry stopped a moment, "I am… alone," he replied glancing at Hermione. Harry felt his anger starting to snap, he began to choke Ron, sliding him up the wall.

Hermione saw something flash before her eyes; Harry choking Voldemort, 'You will regret the day we ever…' then she snapped back to reality and shook her head. Harry's entire body was shaking from effort, Harry was fighting himself, half of him didn't want to hurt Ron… but the other half of him wanted to kill him… and Harry knew that the latter half was starting to win…

Hatred plagued Harry; he didn't know how much longer he could keep fighting himself before he would lose… A flaming Phoenix appeared and screeched, it grabbed Ron with its talons and burst into flames; gone. It awoke a memory buried deep… She remembered that she and Harry had escaped from Ron's annoying advances by turning into Phoenixes. She wondered, was it a real memory?

Harry fell to his knees, then he sighed and not lowering his hood and whispered, "Thanks Fawkes…"

"That was close," Harry said to Mr. and Mrs. Granger as he got up.

"What was?" asked Hermione.

Harry sat back down, "I almost completely snapped," replied Harry finally lowering his hood. Hermione slipped down the stairs out of surprise; she cried out as a sickening snap echoed throughout the house, Harry rushed to her aid and picked her up. When Harry held her, she felt so right; the pain left her, the she felt fulfilled… at peace with everything and herself… she fell asleep in his arms. Harry was feeling awfully weak as well.

 "She broke her arm," said Harry quietly, "I'll put her in her room and heal it."

"Why don't you get a good sleep in tonight?" asked Mrs. Granger.

Harry sighed and looked at her, "I know, she will wake when I leave her," Harry said quietly. He carried her upstairs and put her in her bed, Mr. and Mrs. Granger watched.

Harry whispered and her arm healed instantly, as he turned to leave Hermione grabbed him, "Please, stay," she whispered in a panicked, longing voice. Her parents looked at each other; this was an interesting twist, what would Harry do?

Harry sighed, "I can't, you're Ron's girlfriend remember?" he replied.

"Forget Ron, please stay," she begged in a truly heartfelt voice that longed for his touch… Harry looked at Mr. and Mrs. Granger for a moment, they both nodded looking thrilled and shut the door. Harry laid behind her, she curled up without prompting and fell asleep, Harry put his arms around her, tears running down his cheeks, wishing he could hold her forever… without her; his life was not worth living, power was not for him, he only wanted her to love him of her own accord… That was the power that kept him around… Her love… all other bonds fell before it, he followed her to death and back for it, nothing else was worth anything to him… He fought only for her, if she truly hated him, he would Ascend… maybe to join the Ancients… but maybe he would just forget anything existed… find a place to settle for the rest of his life, far away from all this, to live in self imposed exile. He started to fall asleep, he unconsciously laid his head on hers; she smiled in her sleep.

Hermione woke up feeling refreshed, it was the first sleep she had had in at least two weeks. She felt arms around her, 'Ron,' she thought feeling so safe and warm…. It seemed so familiar; yet she couldn't remember. She started to turn around, Harry woke up and muttered, he disappeared and got up, Hermione looked around surprised. What had happened?

Harry walked through her door and went downstairs, Mr. and Mrs. Granger were waiting, "How did she take it?" they asked.

"Take what?" asked Harry, "I disappeared before she could figure it out."

Mrs. Granger sighed, "Harry, please, next time let her wake up and figure out it's not Ron," she said.

Harry smiled, "She will find out in due course, I have a feeling she will visit in a while," he replied, "I feel much better… I haven't slept in 2 weeks. But now I must leave."

Mrs. Granger hugged him goodbye and Harry left in blazing flames.

"So close!"  said Mr. Granger in a slightly elevated voice.

Mrs. Granger sighed, "It will take time dear, don't worry. I'm taking Hermione shopping this morning," she said as Hermione came down looking better than she had in a week.

"Good morning sweetie," said Mrs. Granger, "How was your sleep?"

"It was strange, I almost thought Ron was there," Hermione said in an almost dreamy voice.

Mr. Granger sighed, "I really don't like him," he said.

"Come on dad, you'd like him more if you had let him stay longer," replied Hermione trying and failing miserably to sound utterly convinced. Both her parents exchanged a significant look.

A week later, Harry was feeling very tired again… So tired, he couldn't stand it, rage A week later, Harry was feeling very tired again… So tired, he couldn't stand it, rage overcame him and he drove his sword deep into a brick wall. He leaned up against it and started crying, he missed Hermione so much. He sometimes wondered why he put up with this world, why? His only answer was Hermione, but now that reason seemed silly, she didn't care about him anymore… did she? Harry knew it would take time for her to regain her memory, but in the meantime it made for a miserable existence. He realized it now… he had never fully appreciated how much Hermione had meant to him. 'You never do until you lose it…' thought Harry sadly, 'I wish I had said just one more 'I love you' than I did… just one more.'

Another week later, Harry sighed, he had to go shopping today, not his favorite thing to do. Harry picked up his cloak and went outside, he looked at the ground for a moment and it parted, a car floated out. Harry smiled to himself, this was going to be interesting, Harry created a drivers license and knew the rest would take care of itself. Harry got in and drove off.

"We're going shopping, okay?" said Mrs. Granger with a smile.

"Sure mum," replied Hermione Mrs. Granger noticed Hermione had gotten more and more irritable during the last two weeks. She wondered if Harry and Hermione would get more irritable the longer they were apart. She and Hermione got in their car and drove away.

Mr. Granger sighed, "Harry, next time, please let her discover you…" he said to himself as he did everyday.

When they got there, Hermione wandered around while her mother shopped, she was drawn to one part in the store, she was looking around when she saw Harry in a white cloak passing by; he went by a small child who was staring intently at something, but then stopped.

Harry turned around, "What you looking for?" asked Harry kneeling down, his eyes filled with kindness and compassion. Hermione suddenly felt like déjà vu, something struck a memory, she was in a classroom, Harry was teaching the class of first years,

"Do you know how to defeat a boggart?" asked Harry.

"Ridikulous?" asked the boy.

"Good try, that is how you force a boggart into a different form, but you defeat him with laughter," replied Harry. Hermione smiled, Harry was so good with the little kids, he would make a good father for her children. She blushed a little at the thought, but she found it almost natural. Harry glanced at her smiling; Hermione smiled back thinking how good a husband he would be for her as well. After the class ended Hermione was more convinced then ever that Harry would be a good father and husband.

Hermione shook her head; where did that come from?

Hermione watched Harry, "A final present for my mother's last birthday, she's been sick for quite a while… Dad says she won't last much longer and I found this, but it is too expensive," said the little boy.

Harry smiled, "Are you sure about that?" he asked, Hermione noticed his eyes were looking tired, just like hers…

"Yes," said the little boy.

Harry pretended to look disbelieving, "I would help you out, but you've got plenty," he smiled.

"No, I don't," said the little boy looking hurt.

"Then what is this?" asked Harry reaching behind the child's ear and handing him a 100 pound note, "You should clean out the back of your ears more often." The little boy hugged Harry, Harry whispered so that the little boy couldn't hear him, the shoes the boy picked for his mother glowed for a moment. The little boy grabbed them and ran to the check out line.

Harry smiled quietly, "The gift I give you is two-fold; one a gift for your mother, two the gift of life and healing for her," he muttered. People were watching Harry strangely, because of his clothing, but Harry didn't care, he figured he had it where it counted. Hermione wondered a moment how she knew that… she just knew it was true, but wasn't sure how. After Harry disappeared, Hermione went to find her mother; she felt so confused. Why would a Death Eater help a little child? Especially a muggle child. Her mother was already checking out, she saw the little boy run out of the store. It again reminded her of the memory she had just experienced, she wondered whether it was real; this wasn't what she remembered.

Harry got home and unloaded his car. After cleaning up, Harry fell on his couch completely exhausted. But he got up and entered the library. There was a knock on his door,

Harry thought for a moment, "Enter," Harry said quietly.

The door opened, Hermione walked in, she looked around, "In the library," said Harry in a tired voice.

"Hi Harry," she said nervously as she walked in, "I just wanted to tell you what you did for that child was really nice."

She looked around and Harry wasn't there, "Harry?" she asked.

Harry smiled tiredly at her, "You were watching?" he asked.

"Yes, I saw the whole thing," she said still looking around for him. Harry noticed that Hermione looked faint.

"Would you like to sit down?" asked Harry. Hermione sat down gratefully, she wasn't feeling well, Harry knew that it was getting worse; it had for him as well.

"Not sleeping well?" he asked.

"Where are you?" asked Hermione.

"Up here," came Harry's reply.

She looked up, Harry was floating like a ghost book in hand, "How do you do that?" she asked.

Harry glanced at her. "My ways," he replied. Hermione looked around at the surroundings; it was a beautiful home.

She noticed a ring on the mantelpiece, Harry was still reading his book, Hermione approached it, "What is that for?" she asked.

Harry reached out and the ring flew into his hand, "Unrequited love," said replied Harry quietly.

"What type of ring is it?" she asked.

"Engagement ring," he answered.

"Who are you getting engaged to?" she asked.

Harry glanced at her nervously and answered, "I hope to my conscience." Harry put the ring in his pocket and landed gracefully on the floor.

Hermione sat back down, "Sorry Harry," she said.

"Not a problem, it's just her name is written in it," Harry said shrugging.

"Why don't you ask her?" asked Hermione.

"Because, she believes she is in love with someone else," Harry answered sitting across from her. Harry watched her warily.

"Am I bothering you?" asked Hermione.

"No," replied Harry, "You could stay all night; I don't sleep at all anyway."

Hermione glanced at him, "Me either," she said.

Harry nodded, "I know," he said quietly.

"Have I lost my memory and does my lack of sleep have something to do with it?" asked Hermione.

Harry smiled, "Yes and no," he answered cryptically.

Hermione started to get up, "Give me a straight answer," she said dangerously.

"Yes it does, but not directly, are you sure you maybe just lost the memory of why?" asked Harry.

"What am I missing?" asked Hermione, "I keep seeing flashes and when you helped that little boy, I almost like relived a memory I didn't know I had."

Harry smiled, "For that answer; you will have to uncover it yourself," he said helping her up, "It's much more comfortable in the parlor."

Harry led her to his parlor, "Nice," she commented.

"Thank you," said Harry. Hermione sat on his couch, Harry sat down about 2 feet from her, Hermione nodded off almost immediately, Harry picked her up and apparated to the Granger's residence.

"Thank you Harry," said Mrs. Granger, "While you're here, why don't you get a good nights sleep with her?"

Harry shook his head, "No," said Harry, "I can't."

"Just wait Harry," replied Mrs. Granger. Harry carried her upstairs and put her in her bed.

He turned to leave, again he felt her grab his arm, "Please Harry…" she begged quietly.

Harry sighed, "Remember…" he started.

"Forget it Harry, please…" she replied.

Harry lay down behind her, she curled up again, "I love you," she said quietly as she tried to fall asleep. Harry put his arms around her, Hermione relaxed immediately falling into a deep sleep. Harry fell asleep soon after.

Mr. and Mrs. Granger stood in the hall watching them. "Even without her memory, she is still drawn to him," commented Mrs. Granger.

"Yes, you're right," replied Mr. Granger. They let the two sleep, they both knew that this was the first time they had slept at all in two weeks… They both felt bad for their, hopefully soon, two… children…

Hermione woke up feeling wonderful, she felt that same feeling of safety and love, she no longer felt that longing that had been driving her insane all summer… she curled up more tightly and fell back asleep.

Harry woke up, "I love you so much Hermione," he whispered, "Perhaps in time you will remember."

Hermione quickly turn around and grabbed his arm, "Harry, please tell me why," she said quietly.

"How did you know?" asked Harry.

"Please answer my question," she replied, not angrily or nastily, but lovingly.

"Why what?" asked Harry.

"Why can't I sleep at night?" she asked.

Harry sighed, "Do you really want to know?" he asked.

"YES," she said with a quiet but yelling voice.

Harry winced; he remembered that, "You're searching for something that you are missing," Harry replied.

"What?" she asked.

Harry started to pull away, she maintained her grip, "No, Harry, I feel so wrong around Ron. Why do I feel so right around you?" she asked, "Why am I searching?"

Harry sighed, "It is within your memory, you just don't remember."

"Remind me," she said.

Harry sighed again, "I can't," he said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because…" he started.

"Never mind, I don't care, just tell me," she said.

"No," Harry replied.

Hermione looked hurt, Harry realized she really cared, "Okay," Harry said.

Hermione pulled him back down, "I love you more than I could ever say Harry and I just want to know why," she said.

"Your memories were changed by Voldemort," Harry said avoiding looking at Hermione, she lifted his chin and forced him to look at her.

"How? Why?" she asked.

"I don't know how, but why… I want you to find out for yourself," said Harry getting back up.

"Harry, please…" she said in a pleading voice.

"I can't tell you," replied Harry.

"I don't care about that, I want you to stay… please…" she begged.

Harry stopped and lay back down,

"Okay, my…" he stopped; Hermione curled up with him and started to fell asleep. Harry still felt tired as well, but he started stroking her hair, Hermione felt memories flowing back.

"Harry," she started.

"Yes?" he replied.

"You forgot 'my wonderful loving Herm'," she said ribbing him gently.