Scene Twenty-One
(We see the company finally stopping on a shore. It is evening. We see the suspicious look of Mikomir as he peeks around a big rock. He is looking towards the water, and the camera catches Jenolum floating down the river behind a rock, peeking over it. Then, we see Jimagorn join Mikomir, and look suddenly frustrated)
Jimagorn: (Touching his chest) Jenolum-she has been following us ever since Moria. I have tried to shake her off our trail, but she is too clever a watchwoman.
(We see Jenolum on the other side of the shore, holding up a tree branch in front of her and peeking to the side to see the other shore)
Jenolum: (In a kind of crazy voice) Can't see usss! They can't see usss!
Jimagorn: (See him glare across the shore) Damn, she's good!
(We then see Lizzo Baggins, who is sitting on the shore as well, listening to the conversation. She looks a bit nervous at the fact that Jenolum is still on their trail. Then, we hear Kram Gamgee speak up)
Kram Gamgee: (In a friendly tone) Want something to eat, Miss Lizzo?
Lizzo Baggins: (Coming back to earth, and shaking her head simply) No, Kram. (Quickly, rather hopefully) Wait a moment-you didn't cook the food tonight, did you?
Kram Gamgee: (With a laugh) No, Miss Lizzo-I cooked the food tonight.
Lizzo Baggins: (In a disappointed tone) Oh-well, then in that case-no thanks.
Kram Gamgee: (In a concerned tone) You haven't eaten anything all day, Lizzo! Haven't slept either! (Sits next to Lizzo Baggins, who doesn't look at her) Don't think I haven't noticed, Miss Lizzo!
Lizzo Baggins: (In an agitated tone) Sorry, mother! I'll be a good girl and eat my vegetables after I go to school like you said! As soon as I destroy this stupid Movie I'll be able to do my chores like a good lass! Whoopy dee!
Kram Gamgee: (Frowning at this comment) That's not funny, Lizzo! You're starting to worry me!
Lizzo Baggins: (Trying to get Kram Gamgee to leave her alone) Kram, there's nothing wrong! Why won't you get off my back!
Kram Gamgee: (In a concerned tone) I'm trying to help you, Miss Lizzo! Won't you just let me help you?
Lizzo Baggins: (Turns her head to Kram Gamgee slowly and looking very sad) You can't help me Kram-(Shaking her head) no one can. (Practically) Well, maybe Superman, but that's another story entirely.
(Kram Gamgee looks very hurt by this, and Lizzo Baggins looks away from her)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a simple tone) Try to get some rest, Kram. Just leave me be for a moment.
(Kram Gamgee gives her an unbelieving stare, a sudden scowl, and then gets up roughly. Lizzo Baggins looks down at her feet, unable to bring herself to say she did a very hurtful thing. We see Kram Gamgee angrily unrolling her blankets and laying them out to sleep in)
Kram Gamgee: (As she takes off her boots, muttering) "You can't help me, Kram-no one can"! "I'm Lizzo Baggins! And just because I have a Movie that could destroy all of Middle-Earth, I can act like a big poop-head and boss people around"! "Lah-ti-freakin'-dah!"
(We go back to see Mikomir conversing with Jimagorn)
Jimagorn: (In a simple tone) I plan to stay as far from the eastern shore as possible. I have a feeling that Orcs are around-a foul evil that threatens to consume the company if we dare go near it.
Mikomir: (With a shrug) It could be anything, ya know. Orcs, Goblins, Richard Simmons-
Jimagorn: (Putting up hand) Stop! Stop! I think we both know that we can outrun them for a while-but for how long is a mystery to me.
Mikomir: (In a cautious tone) The Movie-Bearer will not hold out for long, you know.
Jimagorn: (Looking towards the water) She produces great strength, nonetheless. I have total faith in her.
Mikomir: (In the same cautious manner) Still-the fate of such a big thing given to such a small creature is quite-questionable, you know.
Jimagorn: (Snaps his gaze at Mikomir and has a hard look in his eyes) What are you getting at?
Mikomir: (In a calm tone) Come now, Jimagorn. We both know what I'm talking about. You cannot possibly believe that a young hobbit-
Jimagorn: (In a snapping tone) I would trust her with the Movie with my life. Much more than I would trust you with it-which is what you want, and I will refuse it once again. The Race of Man cannot be trusted with it.
Mikomir: (With a hopeful smile) Can't blame a guy for trying, right?
(Jimagorn gets up and is about to advance away, but Mikomir is not finished. He quickly gets up and speaks to Jimagorn)
Mikomir: (Angrily) Why do you turn away from your own people when they are in great need? Why do you mistrust them so? Yes, there is weakness-yes there is frailty-and yes, we do charge way too much for fabric softener-but there is strength in there as well!
(Jimagorn glares in disbelief and turns away, but Mikomir roughly turns him around to face him)
Mikomir: (Angrily shaking Jimagorn by the arm) You turn away from me, and you turn away from everything that you are! Why do you act this way? Always running! Scared of who you are-what you are!
Jimagorn: (Angrily shakes off the arm of Mikomir and speaks to him in a low angry tone) I wouldn't trust the entire line of Kings with the Movie-ever! Anybody who considers The Fast and the Furious as a great movie is obviously a nutter!
Mikomir: (Furious) Well, now you're just talking crazy!
(Jimagorn walks away, past the still form of the sleeping Lizzo Baggins. Yet, as soon as Jimagorn walks by, her eyes snap open and she looks very frightened at Mikomir's sudden behavior. She touches her chest, where the Movie lies hidden. Then, we see the company traveling up the river again in boats. Mikomir and Jimagorn are in separate boats, but Mikomir will occasionally glare at Jimagorn; Jimagorn keeps his eyes forward, choosing to pay no attention to Mikomir. Then, we see Jimagorn look up and his face brighten. He taps Lizzo Baggins, who sits in front of him, on the shoulder. Lost in her own thoughts, Lizzo Baggins looks up)
Jimagorn: (In a breathless voice as he looks up) The Argonath-the Pillars of the Kings.
(The camera shows the great kings in front of them. Their hands extended forward and their forms massive. The faces of the company are awe-stricken- some of them have open mouths. Rippin Took, who is in the boat in the front, squints towards the bottom of one of the pillars)
Rippin Took: (Shouting back to Jimagorn) There's some writing on the stone here, Jimagorn!
Jimagorn: (Looking up quickly with a furrowed brow) Odd. Legend does not tell of writing on the pillars. What does it say?
Rippin Took: (Squinting as she reads) "Stop-in the name of love, before you break your-"
Jimagorn: (Angrily) Awe, come on! Damn kids!
Mikomir: (In a rather proud voice) I love that song!
(We see the company pass through the Argonath, then they row the boats to the right, which is the area of Amon Hen. We see the company on the shore, resting after a long journey. The only one who seems to be out and about is Jimagorn, who is already laying out plans)
Jimagorn: (In a quick tone, so that nobody will miss anything) We shall wait until nightfall, hide the boats, and continue on foot. Then, we head straight to Mordor-(Allowing himself a grim smile) and the end of our quest.
Brimli: (Sitting next to Rippin Took, and looking rather disgruntled about Jimagorn's plan) Oh yes? That's it, just a simple task of going to Mordor? (Allows herself a laugh) Talk about your impossible labyrinth of sharp pointy rocks, which seems impossible to get through! And after that, it gets even better! Stinking marshland as far as the eye can see-ready to suck down anything that comes within a six-inch radius!
Rippin Took: (Face falling as she hears Brimli speak) That's not better! That's a crappy road! (Looks at Jimagorn) Why're we taking the crappy road, Jimagorn?
Jimagorn: (To Brimli in a stern tone) That is our road, Brimli. I suggest you get some rest and recover your strength.
Brimli: (In an offended tone) Recover my-! Ooh!
(Megolas, who has been looking at the forest, suddenly runs to Jimagorn and speaks in a low tone)
Megolas: (In a serious tone) We should leave now.
Jimagorn: (Simply shaking his head and touching his chest) No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore, and we'll have less hassle with them if we come here. Plus, I've just gotten comfortable, dude!
Megolas: (Looking through the forest nervously) It is not the Orcs I fear. Something else draws near-(Looks at Jimagorn seriously) I can feel it.
(Jessie Brandybuck, who is walking by, looks at both of them and smiles)
Jessie Brandybuck: Maybe Rippin farted again.
Rippin Took: (Shouting angrily) DAMN IT, JESSIE! SHUT UP!
(Still laughing at what she just said, Jessie Brandybuck walks over to where Rippin Took and Brimli are sitting. She looks about. Nearby, Kram Gamgee is snoozing against a tree. Suddenly, we see Jessie Brandybuck frowns as she realizes something)
Jessie Brandybuck: (In a curious tone) Where's Lizzo?
(Everyone hears this and looks around suddenly as they realized something that they had been ignorant of before: Lizzo Baggins is gone. Kram Gamgee awakens suddenly and Rippin Took looks over to where Lizzo Baggins' blanket lays out)
Rippin Took: (Suddenly remembering) Oh yeah! Lizzo's gone, guys. She left a while ago.
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily to Rippin Took) And you didn't tell us this why?
Rippin Took: (With a shrug) Didn't seem important at the time! So sue me!
Kram Gamgee: (With a menacing tone) Don't you dare tempt me!
(We see Jimagorn look very concerned at the moment, and then we see Lizzo Baggins deep within the forest. She walks alone, lost within her thoughts. As she walks, you can tell she is deeply troubled. Lizzo Baggins stops and looks at an ancient statue whose head has long fallen off)
Lizzo Baggins: (Sighs and continues to pace about, talking to herself occasionally) What am I going to do? This shouldn't be so hard, but I don't know. Ever since Kendalf fell, things haven't been the same. What am I going to do? (Suddenly realizing what she's doing) Okay-why am I talking to myself?
(Lizzo Baggins stops speaking and looks at the ground in hopelessness. Then, we see Mikomir walk in front of her, carrying a big pile of wood. When he speaks, Lizzo Baggins jumps)
Mikomir: (Matter-of-factly) None of us should be wandering alone-you especially. Didn't you ever watch Sesame Street when you were a kid? (Looks at Lizzo Baggins) Lizzo?
(Hesitantly, not trusting him, Lizzo Baggins looks up at Mikomir with a suspicious stare)
Mikomir: (Speaking in comforting tone) I know how you feel, Lizzo. You carry a great burden, Lizzo. And you suffer much-I can sense it. (With a rather convincing glance) Are you sure that you do not suffer needlessly? You need some counsel-will you not take mine? Don't doubt me just because I like to burn things-I'm actually a very good listener.
Lizzo Baggins: (Backing away quickly, and looking suspicious) I know what you would say-and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart!
Mikomir: (Staring off and coming back to earth) Hmm? I'm sorry, what did you say? I saw a big bush over there and thought it was quite interesting.
Lizzo Baggins: (Flatly) I'm not so sure I can trust you-something warns me to stay away from whatever aid you have to offer.
Mikomir: (With a small laugh as he moves closer to the hobbit) Warning? What warning that you speak of?
Lizzo Baggins: (Stepping back, not trusting Mikomir) The little red siren in my head that seems to flash, "Don't trust him, Lizzo Baggins! He's crazy!" (Defensively) Don't think I haven't seen the panty-hoes in your pack! Jimagorn's not the only one who likes to feel sexy in an awkward way! You're mad!
Mikomir: (With a strange smile) Is it so mad that I am trying to give you another option out of evil-another way?
Lizzo Baggins: (Rather firmly as she steps a fair distance from Mikomir) There is no other way! Were there cotton balls in your ears or something when Noelrond was telling us that over and over and over and over again? I don't know how you could miss it-he said it over fifty times. Then he made us listen to it on a recorded tape! (Irritably) Ah.great! Now I've got it stuck in my head!
Mikomir: (A dark look coming to his face as he speaks angrily) I ask only for the strength to save my people! (Throws down the wood)
Lizzo Baggins: (Frightened at Mikomir's temper) Well, throwing down wood and acting like a git isn't going to get you anywhere! Maybe you should-!
Mikomir: (Not listening and talking in a convincing tone) If you would but lend me the Movie.
Lizzo Baggins: (Firmly, and clutching her chest) No!
Mikomir: (In a begging tone) Please?
Lizzo Baggins: No! Mikomir: (In the same begging tone) We can alternate! I'll have it Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you can have it Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays! You get more days to have it!
Lizzo Baggins: (Narrowing her eyes suspiciously) What about Saturdays and Sundays?
Mikomir: (After thinking for a moment, sweat coming from his face) We'll flip for it. How's that?
Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily, shouting this time) NO!
Mikomir: (His face darkening and he speaks with a low angry tone) What chance do you think you have, huh? What hope do you have of surviving the Dark Lord? He will find you! He will take the Movie! (Shouting as he speaks) And you will beg for death before the end!
(Lizzo Baggins has a moment of fear in her eyes, but it is quickly replaced with hot rage. She glares at Mikomir and turns away from him to walk away. But, as if suddenly triggered, Mikomir advances after her)
Mikomir: (In a maddened tone) FOOL!
(Lizzo Baggins looks behind her and runs when she realizes that Mikomir is advancing upon her. But Mikomir-maddened by his desire for the Movie-grabs her by the cloak and she goes down. Mikomir jumps on Lizzo Baggins and begins to practically claw for the Movie)
Lizzo Baggins: (Screaming and kicking) GET AWAY FROM ME!
Mikomir: (In a hungry voice) Give me the Movie!
Lizzo Baggins: (Shouting) BITE ME!
(They struggle. Lizzo Baggins finally draws out the Movie and quickly pushes the play chip. In no time, she is invisible. Mikomir stops trying to obtain the Movie and looks in wonderment at what just happened)
Mikomir: (In a curious tone) What the-?
(Mikomir shouts as something punches him in the face, and we see the invisible Lizzo Baggins make a dash away from him. Mikomir gets up and rubs his face)
Mikomir: (Camera closes in about his face, as it grows dark) Oh I see! (Shouting) YOU WILL TAKE THE MOVIE TO JAURON! YOU WILL DESTROY US ALL! CURSE YOU! (Stands up angrily) CURSE YOU AND ALL THE OTHER HALFLINGS!
(We hear Lizzo Baggins shout from a distance)
Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily) YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! I'M TAKIN' THE MOVIE TO JAURON! I'M GOIN' TO MORDOR, THE ONE PLACE I DON'T WANTA GO! YA FREAKIN' MORON!
Mikomir: (Still shouting angrily) CURSE YOU! (Shouts out in pain as he trips and falls hard upon the earth. When he looks up, he suddenly realizes what has just happened and he looks frightened. In a gentle tone) Lizzo? Lizzo? (Sits up and looks about) LIZZO! I'M SORRY! I LOVE HALFLINGS! AND I LIKE TEA! I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT'S ANY BETTER, BUT I'LL FIND A GOOD ARGUMENT LATER!
(We see Lizzo Baggins running in the world of the Movie. The wind and the mist are thick here. She runs up some stone stairs and looks through a crevice in some stone. We see her looking at a dark tower-it looks as if we are flying towards it)
Lizzo Baggins: (Frightened) I don't like this! I don't like this at all!
(Then, we are going up the tower at the same speed. Once we get there, Lizzo Baggins lets out a horrified gasp-for at the top of the tower is the Eye of Jauron)
Eye of Jauron: (In a goofy voice) How's it going? (Then, in an evil voice) Give it to me, Lizzo! Give it to me, now! Give me my Movie!
(But Lizzo Baggins is already moving her finger to the stop chip on the Movie, and she is stepping away from the crevice. When she pushes stop, we see her fall back into the normal world. She falls with a hard thud upon a ruined sight of a cavern. For a while, she breathes in and out, frightened out of her mind of what has just happened, grasping the Movie like a life preserver. Then, she sits bolt-upright, knowing suddenly what has happened and what caused it to happen-why Mikomir was acting so oddly. Then, we see Jimagorn enter, looking relieved that he found Lizzo Baggins, yet concerned when he sees the look on her face)
Jimagorn: (In a concerned tone) Lizzo?
(Lizzo Baggins looks quickly at Jimagorn, her trust tattered and fear outlining her face)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a quaking voice) It has taken Mikomir!
Jimagorn: (His eyes narrow suspiciously) Where is the Movie?
Lizzo Baggins: (Shouting with fright and dashing away from Jimagorn as if he were crazy) Stay away! Get the heck away from me, you ninny!
(As Lizzo Baggins dashes from Jimagorn, he follows, looking very confused about what is going on)
Jimagorn: (In a simple tone) Lizzo!
(Lizzo Baggins stops and turns to face Jimagorn, breathing in and out with fear)
Jimagorn: (Placing a hand upon his chest and stroking himself fondly) I swore I would protect you!
Lizzo Baggins: (In a petrified tone) Can you protect me from yourself?
Jimagorn: (Thinks for a moment) I don't know-I can be very outgoing sometimes and I like to jump into things-and if I'm too distracted with how sexy I am, I'm very unreliable!
(He stops speaking as he sees Lizzo Baggins looking at the Movie in her palm. She looks at Jimagorn with tears building in her eyes)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a desperate tone) Would you destroy it? (After Jimagorn does not answer for a time, she asks more loudly and hysterically) Would you?
(Jimagorn looks upon the Movie, the camera closing in about his face as he thinks about it. Then, we see him step towards Lizzo Baggins, and we see Jimagorn reach down slowly as if the take the Movie. But he closes his eyes suddenly, as if aware of what is going on, and instead, he kneels down and closes Lizzo Baggins' fingers about the Movie. Lizzo Baggins is sobbing openly)
Jimagorn: (In a sad tone as he speaks) I would have gone with you all the way-to the very fires of Mordor-and even past the evil people who look like Bob Saggot.
Lizzo Baggins: (Holding back her tears to speak to Jimagorn) I know. (For a while, she says nothing, and Jimagorn waits patiently. Finally, she speaks in a quick and concerned tone) Look after the others-especially Kram. (Looks down in dismay) She will not understand-she's not that smart, after all.
(Suddenly we hear the muffled playing of, "Roxanne". Knowing what it must mean, Jimagorn looks down at Lizzo Baggins' sword and his eyes grow wide with fear)
Jimagorn: (In a quick ordering tone as he stands up and unsheathes his sword) Go, Lizzo.
(Lizzo Baggins unsheathes Sting, and it sings loudly the song, "Roxanne". Lizzo Baggins looks up at Jimagorn with fear in her eyes)
Lizzo Baggins: (Petrified) That's a bad song too! That must mean-!
Jimagorn: (Ordering) Run. (Looks at Lizzo Baggins, who is rooted to the spot, and shouts angrily) RUN!
(Lizzo Baggins takes one last look at the man who had helped her come so far on this-the one that had led the company after the demise of the wizard- and runs off. We see Jimagorn turn around and face the many members of the Urak-hai. The Orcs face him with anger and hate upon their faces. Jimagorn approaches the Orcs fearlessly, his sword raised. With an almighty cry, the Urak-hai attack, and Jimagorn fights valiantly. After a few seconds of fighting, we see Megolas and Brimli join into the fighting. Megolas is shooting arrows off immediately, and Brimli is shouting hysterically as she swings her axes. Then, we see the horrible face of Urak-hai Member#1)
Urak-hai Member#1: (Shouting to the Orcs) FIND THE HALFLING! FIND THE HALFLING!
(A bunch of Urak-hai go off and bump into trees-landing motionless on the ground and groaning from the force. Urak-hai Member#1 rolls his eyes impatiently)
Urak-hai Member#1: (Shouting irritably) OKAY, LET ME REPHRASE THAT! FIND THE HALFLING-IN AN ORDERLY, SOPHISTICATED MANNER!
(We see Lizzo Baggins running into the wood as if with wings on her feet, the branches and leaves on the trees brushing up against her. We then see Kram Gamgee looking in the forest for Lizzo Baggins-unaware with anything that is going on)
Kram Gamgee: (Worried as she shouts) MISS LIZZO! LIZZO!
(We go back to see Jimagorn, Megolas, and Brimli fighting effortlessly. We close in on Megolas, who is smiling)
Megolas: (In a bright tone) You know, fighting is almost like a dance step! (Starts singing as she pulls out an arrow and shoots an Orc) Let's get physical! Physical! I wanna get physical! Physical! (Takes out a knife and stabs an Orc)
(We then see Lizzo Baggins running in the forest again, faster as she hears Urak-hai Members approaching. Quickly, she jumps behind a huge tree and plasters herself against it. The Urak-hai Members run by, leaving Lizzo Baggins unnoticed. She waits for a long time to let out a breath of relief. Then, we hear Rippin Took whisper)
Rippin Took: (In an excited whisper) Lizzo!
(Lizzo Baggins looks over to where the voice came from and we see Rippin Took and Jessie Brandybuck concealed cleverly in some bushes. They are waving at her to invite her to hide as well)
Rippin Took: (Whispering) Hide here! Quick, Lizzo! Jessie Brandybuck: (Whispering as well) It's quite all right! I snuck some Beano in Rippin's breakfast-she won't be goin' off for another few hours!
Rippin Took: (Glares at Jessie Brandybuck) So that's why I feel bloated!
(We close in on Lizzo Baggins' face, which looks very saddened. We go back to Rippin Took and Jessie Brandybuck, who look very confused)
Rippin Took: (Whispering) What is she doing?
(We see Lizzo Baggins simply shake her head at them, telling them she cannot hide with them. This seems to explain everything wordlessly to Jessie Brandybuck, whose face falls when she realizes it. Rippin Took looks at Jessie Brandybuck curiously)
Rippin Took: (Confused) What?
Jessie Brandybuck: (In a simple tone) She's leaving.
(We see Lizzo Baggins shrug at her friends simply. Jessie Brandybuck looks as if she understands, but Rippin Took is not going to take this)
Rippin Took: (Angrily) Oh, no you don't! (Jumps out of the bushes and stomps over to Lizzo Baggins)
Jessie Brandybuck: (In an angry whisper as she runs after Rippin Took) No!
Rippin Took: (To Lizzo Baggins) You know how much crap we had to put up with in order to get you this far? I did not jump on a big cave troll for nothing, missy! You better straighten up and play with the group because in life, you're gonna have to work with people you don't like! Why do you think they made us do all those dumb group projects in school? For fun? (Puffs up indignantly) I think not!
(Jessie Brandybuck gasps as she looks up and sees more Urak-hai Members coming their way. Lizzo Baggins is horrified)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Whispering to Lizzo Baggins in an urgent matter) Go, Lizzo! Go! (Looks at Urak-hai Members and shouts) HEY! IDIOTS! LOOKIN' FOR US? COME ON!
Rippin Took: (Catching on and shouting as well) YEAH! YOU SMELL LIKE CABBAGES AND OLD LADY-AND NOT THE NICE KIND THAT LIKES TO BAKE COOKIES! COME ON, COME AN' GET US!
(We see the Urak-hai Members run towards them, and Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took dash down the hill and attempt to escape their foes. When everybody's past, Lizzo Baggins peeks from around the tree)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a shocked tone) I've been saved by idiots-how embarrassing!
(Lizzo Baggins shudders and makes a run from the tree. We then see Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took running from the Urak-hai Members)
Rippin Took: (In an excited tone) Look, Jessie! It's working!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Angrily) No duh, Rippin! Keep running!
(Both of the hobbits run as fast as they can, but then they realize that their way is being barred off-they are going to be trapped. They stop running and look at the Orcs coming at them. Immediately, both take out their swords)
Rippin Took: (In a frightened tone) Jessie, this is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Also frightened) Even scarier than when the Phone Solicitors were after us?
Rippin Took: (Nodding) Yeah!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Still in the frightened tone) Even scarier than the Balrog coming after us?
Rippin Took: (Nodding) Oh, heck yes!
Jessie Brandybuck: Even scarier than the time you got your head stuck in that sweater that was too small for you?
Rippin Took: (About to answer, but then goes into a look of thought. She shakes her head) No-that was pretty scary all on its own.
(Both the hobbits raise their weapons as the Orcs advance upon them. Suddenly we see Mikomir run from the side, his sword out and looking furious. Before the first Orc can raise its sword to strike the hobbits, Mikomir has killed him. The Urak-hai Members attack from all sides, but the three members of the company are fighting as if stricken mad. We see Mikomir attacking Orcs left and right, and we also see Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took off to the side throwing stones at the Orcs)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Grabbing Rippin Took by the arm to stop her) Wait a moment! We have swords-why don't we just use those?
Rippin Took: (Eyes widening as she realizes this) Oh! (Pulls out her sword and dagger) So those are what they're for!
(The two hobbits scream as they attack. Mikomir is fighting spectacularly, but he knows he cannot finish them all off at once. He puts the horn of Gondor to his lips and blows. We see Jimagorn, Megolas, and Brimli look up from their fighting as they hear it from the distance)
Megolas: (Angrily) Did Rippin fart again?
Jimagorn: (His eyes growing wide with worry) No! The horn of Gondor! Mikomir needs aid! Hurry!
(The three set out, and we come back to see Mikomir fighting. Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took are fighting as well, tripping Orcs and attacking them when they're down. Then, out of the crowd of Urak-hai Members coming towards them, we see-from out of the trees-Urak-hai Member#1. He looks angry and comes silently; nobody seems to notice him. Urak-hai Member#1 pulls out a massive bow and strings a monstrous arrow upon it. Mikomir fails to notice, too caught up with the Orcs around him to notice)
Mikomir: (Smiling triumphantly as he fights) Ha! Ha! I am Mikomir, heir to Gondor! I am my father's son and I am a man of iron! Nothing can penetrate my soul and the honor that protects me!
(Urak-hai Member#1 fires the arrow and it lands right in Mikomir's chest. Mikomir lunges back, taken totally by shock at what has just happened)
Mikomir: (Looking down at the arrow) Well-maybe except-that.
(Rippin Took and Jessie Brandybuck stop fighting-their faces pulled into looks of horror as they see what has befallen Mikomir. For a moment, it looks as if Mikomir will fall-but with a battle cry, he is upon his feet again, swinging his sword as if unwounded. Then, we see Urak-hai Member#1 shoot another massive arrow at Mikomir, hitting him again in the chest. Mikomir staggers dangerously, sputtering as his life slowly seeps out of him. Yet, despite the weakness building inside him, he fights-a bit more weakly now, but with many shouts of battle cries. Then, we see Urak-hai Member#1, closer this time, shoot another arrow into Mikomir)
Rippin Took: (Tears streaming down her eyes as she shouts and makes an advance forward) STOP IT!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Tears falling on her face as well as she holds back Rippin Took) Rippin, there is nothing we can do!
(Rippin Took looks at Mikomir, who is on his knees now, too weak to fight anymore-knowing that it is all over)
Rippin Took: (Raising her sword) To hell there isn't! We're gonna try and fight them off!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Looking determined as she raises her sword as well) Yeah! Because we're stupid, and proud of it!
Rippin Took: (With a proud shout) DAMN STRAIGHT! (They both start running towards the advancing Orcs) DON'T WORRY, MIKOMIR! WE'LL SAVE YOU!
(The advancing Orcs scoop up Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took in one sweep. The hobbits start screaming hysterically)
Rippin Took: (Shouting hysterically) SAVE US, MIKOMIR! SAVE US!
(But they are being carried off, and the other Orcs follow them-all but the Urak-hai Member#1, who stands in front of Mikomir with the bow ready to shoot another arrow, this one for the kill. Mikomir looks at the Urak-hai Member#1 with sad eyes, waiting for his death to come. But then, Jimagorn runs right into the Urak-hai Member#1, bowling him over. The two immediately begin to fight. Jimagorn is quick, but not quick enough to escape some of the monster's blows. Twice, Jimagorn is at risk of being decapitated. Jimagorn is thrown to the ground and the Urak-hai Member#1 walks over to him, raising his sword to strike, but Jimagorn plunges the dagger that was given to him back at Lórien into the monster's knee. It allows Jimagorn to get to his feet. The Urak-hai Member#1 rips out the dagger, and licks the blood off it)
Jimagorn: (His face pulled into disgust) That is so unhygienic!
(The Urak-hai Member#1 hurls the dagger at Jimagorn, but Jimagorn blocks it by putting up his sword. Jimagorn yells out and runs at the Urak-hai Member#1. Jimagorn is able to cut off the monster's right arm and plunge the sword into the stomach)
Urak-hai Member#1: (Looks at the sword in his stomach) You think that's gonna stop me? (Pushes the sword further in, drawing the startled Jimagorn closer) You really think I'm going to fall from your sword? Yeah right! (Looks Jimagorn in the face) You are so hot right now.
(Jimagorn yells out, takes the sword out from the stomach of the Urak-hai Member#1, and cuts the monster's head off. After that, he kneels to the ground, touching his chest in comfort. Then, he looks over to see Mikomir lying on the ground and his eyes grow wide with dismay. We see Jimagorn run over to Mikomir, stepping on dead bodies as he goes. With each body he steps on we hear them gruffly call out, "Ouch". Jimagorn kneels next to Mikomir)
Mikomir: (In a weak tone) They-They took the little ones! The one wearing the glasses-and the severely gassy one! (Very weakly) Lizzo-where is- Lizzo? Jimagorn: (After a moment of silence) I have let Lizzo go.
Mikomir: (With a grim smile) Then-you did-what I could not. (Grasps Jimagorn's shoulder) I-tried to-take the-Movie-from her.
Jimagorn: (Outraged) What? So that's why she was acting so weirdly! You twit! What were you thinking?
Mikomir: (Weakly) I wasn't-thinking, Jimagorn. The-Movie-took me over. For-give me.
Jimagorn: (With an angry sigh) All right, but I'm only forgiving you because you're dying! If you were alive, I'd kick your ass.
Mikomir: (Weakly) You-were right-Jimagorn. Men-are weak. I will go-and Minas Tirith-shall fall. I told them-that they-shouldn't have built-it on that-cliff! Landslides-are more common-these days!
Jimagorn: (After a long moment of silence, grasping Mikomir's hand) I will not let that happen, Mikomir. I will do everything I can to help.
(Mikomir smiles and grits his teeth in pain. Jimagorn places Mikomir's sword in his outstretched hand, and helps Mikomir move it to rest across his chest, blade down. At that moment, Megolas and Brimli appear from out of the forest)
Brimli: (In an excited voice) Hey, you guys! Megolas just showed me this tree that looked kind of like John Melloncamp! It was so-(Sees what's going on and stops speaking) Oh-sorry.
Mikomir: (Looking up at Jimagorn with a weak smile) One-more thing- Jimagorn: feed-my-dog.
(And with that, Mikomir tilts his head to the side and dies. Jimagorn closes his eyes in dismay and a single tear falls down his face. Shaking slightly, Jimagorn gets to his feet and looks at the body of Mikomir)
Jimagorn: (In a peaceful tone) Rest in peace, son of Gondor. (Looks at the sky and the camera closes in about his face) Rest in peace. (Touches himself on the chest, and on the screen we see the letters, "Oscar Nominee Clip")
Megolas: (Whispering to Brimli) Uh-I guess this isn't the best time to talk about who gets Mikomir's stuff?
Brimli: (Shaking her head) Uh-no.
(We see the company finally stopping on a shore. It is evening. We see the suspicious look of Mikomir as he peeks around a big rock. He is looking towards the water, and the camera catches Jenolum floating down the river behind a rock, peeking over it. Then, we see Jimagorn join Mikomir, and look suddenly frustrated)
Jimagorn: (Touching his chest) Jenolum-she has been following us ever since Moria. I have tried to shake her off our trail, but she is too clever a watchwoman.
(We see Jenolum on the other side of the shore, holding up a tree branch in front of her and peeking to the side to see the other shore)
Jenolum: (In a kind of crazy voice) Can't see usss! They can't see usss!
Jimagorn: (See him glare across the shore) Damn, she's good!
(We then see Lizzo Baggins, who is sitting on the shore as well, listening to the conversation. She looks a bit nervous at the fact that Jenolum is still on their trail. Then, we hear Kram Gamgee speak up)
Kram Gamgee: (In a friendly tone) Want something to eat, Miss Lizzo?
Lizzo Baggins: (Coming back to earth, and shaking her head simply) No, Kram. (Quickly, rather hopefully) Wait a moment-you didn't cook the food tonight, did you?
Kram Gamgee: (With a laugh) No, Miss Lizzo-I cooked the food tonight.
Lizzo Baggins: (In a disappointed tone) Oh-well, then in that case-no thanks.
Kram Gamgee: (In a concerned tone) You haven't eaten anything all day, Lizzo! Haven't slept either! (Sits next to Lizzo Baggins, who doesn't look at her) Don't think I haven't noticed, Miss Lizzo!
Lizzo Baggins: (In an agitated tone) Sorry, mother! I'll be a good girl and eat my vegetables after I go to school like you said! As soon as I destroy this stupid Movie I'll be able to do my chores like a good lass! Whoopy dee!
Kram Gamgee: (Frowning at this comment) That's not funny, Lizzo! You're starting to worry me!
Lizzo Baggins: (Trying to get Kram Gamgee to leave her alone) Kram, there's nothing wrong! Why won't you get off my back!
Kram Gamgee: (In a concerned tone) I'm trying to help you, Miss Lizzo! Won't you just let me help you?
Lizzo Baggins: (Turns her head to Kram Gamgee slowly and looking very sad) You can't help me Kram-(Shaking her head) no one can. (Practically) Well, maybe Superman, but that's another story entirely.
(Kram Gamgee looks very hurt by this, and Lizzo Baggins looks away from her)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a simple tone) Try to get some rest, Kram. Just leave me be for a moment.
(Kram Gamgee gives her an unbelieving stare, a sudden scowl, and then gets up roughly. Lizzo Baggins looks down at her feet, unable to bring herself to say she did a very hurtful thing. We see Kram Gamgee angrily unrolling her blankets and laying them out to sleep in)
Kram Gamgee: (As she takes off her boots, muttering) "You can't help me, Kram-no one can"! "I'm Lizzo Baggins! And just because I have a Movie that could destroy all of Middle-Earth, I can act like a big poop-head and boss people around"! "Lah-ti-freakin'-dah!"
(We go back to see Mikomir conversing with Jimagorn)
Jimagorn: (In a simple tone) I plan to stay as far from the eastern shore as possible. I have a feeling that Orcs are around-a foul evil that threatens to consume the company if we dare go near it.
Mikomir: (With a shrug) It could be anything, ya know. Orcs, Goblins, Richard Simmons-
Jimagorn: (Putting up hand) Stop! Stop! I think we both know that we can outrun them for a while-but for how long is a mystery to me.
Mikomir: (In a cautious tone) The Movie-Bearer will not hold out for long, you know.
Jimagorn: (Looking towards the water) She produces great strength, nonetheless. I have total faith in her.
Mikomir: (In the same cautious manner) Still-the fate of such a big thing given to such a small creature is quite-questionable, you know.
Jimagorn: (Snaps his gaze at Mikomir and has a hard look in his eyes) What are you getting at?
Mikomir: (In a calm tone) Come now, Jimagorn. We both know what I'm talking about. You cannot possibly believe that a young hobbit-
Jimagorn: (In a snapping tone) I would trust her with the Movie with my life. Much more than I would trust you with it-which is what you want, and I will refuse it once again. The Race of Man cannot be trusted with it.
Mikomir: (With a hopeful smile) Can't blame a guy for trying, right?
(Jimagorn gets up and is about to advance away, but Mikomir is not finished. He quickly gets up and speaks to Jimagorn)
Mikomir: (Angrily) Why do you turn away from your own people when they are in great need? Why do you mistrust them so? Yes, there is weakness-yes there is frailty-and yes, we do charge way too much for fabric softener-but there is strength in there as well!
(Jimagorn glares in disbelief and turns away, but Mikomir roughly turns him around to face him)
Mikomir: (Angrily shaking Jimagorn by the arm) You turn away from me, and you turn away from everything that you are! Why do you act this way? Always running! Scared of who you are-what you are!
Jimagorn: (Angrily shakes off the arm of Mikomir and speaks to him in a low angry tone) I wouldn't trust the entire line of Kings with the Movie-ever! Anybody who considers The Fast and the Furious as a great movie is obviously a nutter!
Mikomir: (Furious) Well, now you're just talking crazy!
(Jimagorn walks away, past the still form of the sleeping Lizzo Baggins. Yet, as soon as Jimagorn walks by, her eyes snap open and she looks very frightened at Mikomir's sudden behavior. She touches her chest, where the Movie lies hidden. Then, we see the company traveling up the river again in boats. Mikomir and Jimagorn are in separate boats, but Mikomir will occasionally glare at Jimagorn; Jimagorn keeps his eyes forward, choosing to pay no attention to Mikomir. Then, we see Jimagorn look up and his face brighten. He taps Lizzo Baggins, who sits in front of him, on the shoulder. Lost in her own thoughts, Lizzo Baggins looks up)
Jimagorn: (In a breathless voice as he looks up) The Argonath-the Pillars of the Kings.
(The camera shows the great kings in front of them. Their hands extended forward and their forms massive. The faces of the company are awe-stricken- some of them have open mouths. Rippin Took, who is in the boat in the front, squints towards the bottom of one of the pillars)
Rippin Took: (Shouting back to Jimagorn) There's some writing on the stone here, Jimagorn!
Jimagorn: (Looking up quickly with a furrowed brow) Odd. Legend does not tell of writing on the pillars. What does it say?
Rippin Took: (Squinting as she reads) "Stop-in the name of love, before you break your-"
Jimagorn: (Angrily) Awe, come on! Damn kids!
Mikomir: (In a rather proud voice) I love that song!
(We see the company pass through the Argonath, then they row the boats to the right, which is the area of Amon Hen. We see the company on the shore, resting after a long journey. The only one who seems to be out and about is Jimagorn, who is already laying out plans)
Jimagorn: (In a quick tone, so that nobody will miss anything) We shall wait until nightfall, hide the boats, and continue on foot. Then, we head straight to Mordor-(Allowing himself a grim smile) and the end of our quest.
Brimli: (Sitting next to Rippin Took, and looking rather disgruntled about Jimagorn's plan) Oh yes? That's it, just a simple task of going to Mordor? (Allows herself a laugh) Talk about your impossible labyrinth of sharp pointy rocks, which seems impossible to get through! And after that, it gets even better! Stinking marshland as far as the eye can see-ready to suck down anything that comes within a six-inch radius!
Rippin Took: (Face falling as she hears Brimli speak) That's not better! That's a crappy road! (Looks at Jimagorn) Why're we taking the crappy road, Jimagorn?
Jimagorn: (To Brimli in a stern tone) That is our road, Brimli. I suggest you get some rest and recover your strength.
Brimli: (In an offended tone) Recover my-! Ooh!
(Megolas, who has been looking at the forest, suddenly runs to Jimagorn and speaks in a low tone)
Megolas: (In a serious tone) We should leave now.
Jimagorn: (Simply shaking his head and touching his chest) No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore, and we'll have less hassle with them if we come here. Plus, I've just gotten comfortable, dude!
Megolas: (Looking through the forest nervously) It is not the Orcs I fear. Something else draws near-(Looks at Jimagorn seriously) I can feel it.
(Jessie Brandybuck, who is walking by, looks at both of them and smiles)
Jessie Brandybuck: Maybe Rippin farted again.
Rippin Took: (Shouting angrily) DAMN IT, JESSIE! SHUT UP!
(Still laughing at what she just said, Jessie Brandybuck walks over to where Rippin Took and Brimli are sitting. She looks about. Nearby, Kram Gamgee is snoozing against a tree. Suddenly, we see Jessie Brandybuck frowns as she realizes something)
Jessie Brandybuck: (In a curious tone) Where's Lizzo?
(Everyone hears this and looks around suddenly as they realized something that they had been ignorant of before: Lizzo Baggins is gone. Kram Gamgee awakens suddenly and Rippin Took looks over to where Lizzo Baggins' blanket lays out)
Rippin Took: (Suddenly remembering) Oh yeah! Lizzo's gone, guys. She left a while ago.
Kram Gamgee: (Angrily to Rippin Took) And you didn't tell us this why?
Rippin Took: (With a shrug) Didn't seem important at the time! So sue me!
Kram Gamgee: (With a menacing tone) Don't you dare tempt me!
(We see Jimagorn look very concerned at the moment, and then we see Lizzo Baggins deep within the forest. She walks alone, lost within her thoughts. As she walks, you can tell she is deeply troubled. Lizzo Baggins stops and looks at an ancient statue whose head has long fallen off)
Lizzo Baggins: (Sighs and continues to pace about, talking to herself occasionally) What am I going to do? This shouldn't be so hard, but I don't know. Ever since Kendalf fell, things haven't been the same. What am I going to do? (Suddenly realizing what she's doing) Okay-why am I talking to myself?
(Lizzo Baggins stops speaking and looks at the ground in hopelessness. Then, we see Mikomir walk in front of her, carrying a big pile of wood. When he speaks, Lizzo Baggins jumps)
Mikomir: (Matter-of-factly) None of us should be wandering alone-you especially. Didn't you ever watch Sesame Street when you were a kid? (Looks at Lizzo Baggins) Lizzo?
(Hesitantly, not trusting him, Lizzo Baggins looks up at Mikomir with a suspicious stare)
Mikomir: (Speaking in comforting tone) I know how you feel, Lizzo. You carry a great burden, Lizzo. And you suffer much-I can sense it. (With a rather convincing glance) Are you sure that you do not suffer needlessly? You need some counsel-will you not take mine? Don't doubt me just because I like to burn things-I'm actually a very good listener.
Lizzo Baggins: (Backing away quickly, and looking suspicious) I know what you would say-and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart!
Mikomir: (Staring off and coming back to earth) Hmm? I'm sorry, what did you say? I saw a big bush over there and thought it was quite interesting.
Lizzo Baggins: (Flatly) I'm not so sure I can trust you-something warns me to stay away from whatever aid you have to offer.
Mikomir: (With a small laugh as he moves closer to the hobbit) Warning? What warning that you speak of?
Lizzo Baggins: (Stepping back, not trusting Mikomir) The little red siren in my head that seems to flash, "Don't trust him, Lizzo Baggins! He's crazy!" (Defensively) Don't think I haven't seen the panty-hoes in your pack! Jimagorn's not the only one who likes to feel sexy in an awkward way! You're mad!
Mikomir: (With a strange smile) Is it so mad that I am trying to give you another option out of evil-another way?
Lizzo Baggins: (Rather firmly as she steps a fair distance from Mikomir) There is no other way! Were there cotton balls in your ears or something when Noelrond was telling us that over and over and over and over again? I don't know how you could miss it-he said it over fifty times. Then he made us listen to it on a recorded tape! (Irritably) Ah.great! Now I've got it stuck in my head!
Mikomir: (A dark look coming to his face as he speaks angrily) I ask only for the strength to save my people! (Throws down the wood)
Lizzo Baggins: (Frightened at Mikomir's temper) Well, throwing down wood and acting like a git isn't going to get you anywhere! Maybe you should-!
Mikomir: (Not listening and talking in a convincing tone) If you would but lend me the Movie.
Lizzo Baggins: (Firmly, and clutching her chest) No!
Mikomir: (In a begging tone) Please?
Lizzo Baggins: No! Mikomir: (In the same begging tone) We can alternate! I'll have it Tuesdays and Thursdays, and you can have it Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays! You get more days to have it!
Lizzo Baggins: (Narrowing her eyes suspiciously) What about Saturdays and Sundays?
Mikomir: (After thinking for a moment, sweat coming from his face) We'll flip for it. How's that?
Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily, shouting this time) NO!
Mikomir: (His face darkening and he speaks with a low angry tone) What chance do you think you have, huh? What hope do you have of surviving the Dark Lord? He will find you! He will take the Movie! (Shouting as he speaks) And you will beg for death before the end!
(Lizzo Baggins has a moment of fear in her eyes, but it is quickly replaced with hot rage. She glares at Mikomir and turns away from him to walk away. But, as if suddenly triggered, Mikomir advances after her)
Mikomir: (In a maddened tone) FOOL!
(Lizzo Baggins looks behind her and runs when she realizes that Mikomir is advancing upon her. But Mikomir-maddened by his desire for the Movie-grabs her by the cloak and she goes down. Mikomir jumps on Lizzo Baggins and begins to practically claw for the Movie)
Lizzo Baggins: (Screaming and kicking) GET AWAY FROM ME!
Mikomir: (In a hungry voice) Give me the Movie!
Lizzo Baggins: (Shouting) BITE ME!
(They struggle. Lizzo Baggins finally draws out the Movie and quickly pushes the play chip. In no time, she is invisible. Mikomir stops trying to obtain the Movie and looks in wonderment at what just happened)
Mikomir: (In a curious tone) What the-?
(Mikomir shouts as something punches him in the face, and we see the invisible Lizzo Baggins make a dash away from him. Mikomir gets up and rubs his face)
Mikomir: (Camera closes in about his face, as it grows dark) Oh I see! (Shouting) YOU WILL TAKE THE MOVIE TO JAURON! YOU WILL DESTROY US ALL! CURSE YOU! (Stands up angrily) CURSE YOU AND ALL THE OTHER HALFLINGS!
(We hear Lizzo Baggins shout from a distance)
Lizzo Baggins: (Angrily) YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! I'M TAKIN' THE MOVIE TO JAURON! I'M GOIN' TO MORDOR, THE ONE PLACE I DON'T WANTA GO! YA FREAKIN' MORON!
Mikomir: (Still shouting angrily) CURSE YOU! (Shouts out in pain as he trips and falls hard upon the earth. When he looks up, he suddenly realizes what has just happened and he looks frightened. In a gentle tone) Lizzo? Lizzo? (Sits up and looks about) LIZZO! I'M SORRY! I LOVE HALFLINGS! AND I LIKE TEA! I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT'S ANY BETTER, BUT I'LL FIND A GOOD ARGUMENT LATER!
(We see Lizzo Baggins running in the world of the Movie. The wind and the mist are thick here. She runs up some stone stairs and looks through a crevice in some stone. We see her looking at a dark tower-it looks as if we are flying towards it)
Lizzo Baggins: (Frightened) I don't like this! I don't like this at all!
(Then, we are going up the tower at the same speed. Once we get there, Lizzo Baggins lets out a horrified gasp-for at the top of the tower is the Eye of Jauron)
Eye of Jauron: (In a goofy voice) How's it going? (Then, in an evil voice) Give it to me, Lizzo! Give it to me, now! Give me my Movie!
(But Lizzo Baggins is already moving her finger to the stop chip on the Movie, and she is stepping away from the crevice. When she pushes stop, we see her fall back into the normal world. She falls with a hard thud upon a ruined sight of a cavern. For a while, she breathes in and out, frightened out of her mind of what has just happened, grasping the Movie like a life preserver. Then, she sits bolt-upright, knowing suddenly what has happened and what caused it to happen-why Mikomir was acting so oddly. Then, we see Jimagorn enter, looking relieved that he found Lizzo Baggins, yet concerned when he sees the look on her face)
Jimagorn: (In a concerned tone) Lizzo?
(Lizzo Baggins looks quickly at Jimagorn, her trust tattered and fear outlining her face)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a quaking voice) It has taken Mikomir!
Jimagorn: (His eyes narrow suspiciously) Where is the Movie?
Lizzo Baggins: (Shouting with fright and dashing away from Jimagorn as if he were crazy) Stay away! Get the heck away from me, you ninny!
(As Lizzo Baggins dashes from Jimagorn, he follows, looking very confused about what is going on)
Jimagorn: (In a simple tone) Lizzo!
(Lizzo Baggins stops and turns to face Jimagorn, breathing in and out with fear)
Jimagorn: (Placing a hand upon his chest and stroking himself fondly) I swore I would protect you!
Lizzo Baggins: (In a petrified tone) Can you protect me from yourself?
Jimagorn: (Thinks for a moment) I don't know-I can be very outgoing sometimes and I like to jump into things-and if I'm too distracted with how sexy I am, I'm very unreliable!
(He stops speaking as he sees Lizzo Baggins looking at the Movie in her palm. She looks at Jimagorn with tears building in her eyes)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a desperate tone) Would you destroy it? (After Jimagorn does not answer for a time, she asks more loudly and hysterically) Would you?
(Jimagorn looks upon the Movie, the camera closing in about his face as he thinks about it. Then, we see him step towards Lizzo Baggins, and we see Jimagorn reach down slowly as if the take the Movie. But he closes his eyes suddenly, as if aware of what is going on, and instead, he kneels down and closes Lizzo Baggins' fingers about the Movie. Lizzo Baggins is sobbing openly)
Jimagorn: (In a sad tone as he speaks) I would have gone with you all the way-to the very fires of Mordor-and even past the evil people who look like Bob Saggot.
Lizzo Baggins: (Holding back her tears to speak to Jimagorn) I know. (For a while, she says nothing, and Jimagorn waits patiently. Finally, she speaks in a quick and concerned tone) Look after the others-especially Kram. (Looks down in dismay) She will not understand-she's not that smart, after all.
(Suddenly we hear the muffled playing of, "Roxanne". Knowing what it must mean, Jimagorn looks down at Lizzo Baggins' sword and his eyes grow wide with fear)
Jimagorn: (In a quick ordering tone as he stands up and unsheathes his sword) Go, Lizzo.
(Lizzo Baggins unsheathes Sting, and it sings loudly the song, "Roxanne". Lizzo Baggins looks up at Jimagorn with fear in her eyes)
Lizzo Baggins: (Petrified) That's a bad song too! That must mean-!
Jimagorn: (Ordering) Run. (Looks at Lizzo Baggins, who is rooted to the spot, and shouts angrily) RUN!
(Lizzo Baggins takes one last look at the man who had helped her come so far on this-the one that had led the company after the demise of the wizard- and runs off. We see Jimagorn turn around and face the many members of the Urak-hai. The Orcs face him with anger and hate upon their faces. Jimagorn approaches the Orcs fearlessly, his sword raised. With an almighty cry, the Urak-hai attack, and Jimagorn fights valiantly. After a few seconds of fighting, we see Megolas and Brimli join into the fighting. Megolas is shooting arrows off immediately, and Brimli is shouting hysterically as she swings her axes. Then, we see the horrible face of Urak-hai Member#1)
Urak-hai Member#1: (Shouting to the Orcs) FIND THE HALFLING! FIND THE HALFLING!
(A bunch of Urak-hai go off and bump into trees-landing motionless on the ground and groaning from the force. Urak-hai Member#1 rolls his eyes impatiently)
Urak-hai Member#1: (Shouting irritably) OKAY, LET ME REPHRASE THAT! FIND THE HALFLING-IN AN ORDERLY, SOPHISTICATED MANNER!
(We see Lizzo Baggins running into the wood as if with wings on her feet, the branches and leaves on the trees brushing up against her. We then see Kram Gamgee looking in the forest for Lizzo Baggins-unaware with anything that is going on)
Kram Gamgee: (Worried as she shouts) MISS LIZZO! LIZZO!
(We go back to see Jimagorn, Megolas, and Brimli fighting effortlessly. We close in on Megolas, who is smiling)
Megolas: (In a bright tone) You know, fighting is almost like a dance step! (Starts singing as she pulls out an arrow and shoots an Orc) Let's get physical! Physical! I wanna get physical! Physical! (Takes out a knife and stabs an Orc)
(We then see Lizzo Baggins running in the forest again, faster as she hears Urak-hai Members approaching. Quickly, she jumps behind a huge tree and plasters herself against it. The Urak-hai Members run by, leaving Lizzo Baggins unnoticed. She waits for a long time to let out a breath of relief. Then, we hear Rippin Took whisper)
Rippin Took: (In an excited whisper) Lizzo!
(Lizzo Baggins looks over to where the voice came from and we see Rippin Took and Jessie Brandybuck concealed cleverly in some bushes. They are waving at her to invite her to hide as well)
Rippin Took: (Whispering) Hide here! Quick, Lizzo! Jessie Brandybuck: (Whispering as well) It's quite all right! I snuck some Beano in Rippin's breakfast-she won't be goin' off for another few hours!
Rippin Took: (Glares at Jessie Brandybuck) So that's why I feel bloated!
(We close in on Lizzo Baggins' face, which looks very saddened. We go back to Rippin Took and Jessie Brandybuck, who look very confused)
Rippin Took: (Whispering) What is she doing?
(We see Lizzo Baggins simply shake her head at them, telling them she cannot hide with them. This seems to explain everything wordlessly to Jessie Brandybuck, whose face falls when she realizes it. Rippin Took looks at Jessie Brandybuck curiously)
Rippin Took: (Confused) What?
Jessie Brandybuck: (In a simple tone) She's leaving.
(We see Lizzo Baggins shrug at her friends simply. Jessie Brandybuck looks as if she understands, but Rippin Took is not going to take this)
Rippin Took: (Angrily) Oh, no you don't! (Jumps out of the bushes and stomps over to Lizzo Baggins)
Jessie Brandybuck: (In an angry whisper as she runs after Rippin Took) No!
Rippin Took: (To Lizzo Baggins) You know how much crap we had to put up with in order to get you this far? I did not jump on a big cave troll for nothing, missy! You better straighten up and play with the group because in life, you're gonna have to work with people you don't like! Why do you think they made us do all those dumb group projects in school? For fun? (Puffs up indignantly) I think not!
(Jessie Brandybuck gasps as she looks up and sees more Urak-hai Members coming their way. Lizzo Baggins is horrified)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Whispering to Lizzo Baggins in an urgent matter) Go, Lizzo! Go! (Looks at Urak-hai Members and shouts) HEY! IDIOTS! LOOKIN' FOR US? COME ON!
Rippin Took: (Catching on and shouting as well) YEAH! YOU SMELL LIKE CABBAGES AND OLD LADY-AND NOT THE NICE KIND THAT LIKES TO BAKE COOKIES! COME ON, COME AN' GET US!
(We see the Urak-hai Members run towards them, and Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took dash down the hill and attempt to escape their foes. When everybody's past, Lizzo Baggins peeks from around the tree)
Lizzo Baggins: (In a shocked tone) I've been saved by idiots-how embarrassing!
(Lizzo Baggins shudders and makes a run from the tree. We then see Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took running from the Urak-hai Members)
Rippin Took: (In an excited tone) Look, Jessie! It's working!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Angrily) No duh, Rippin! Keep running!
(Both of the hobbits run as fast as they can, but then they realize that their way is being barred off-they are going to be trapped. They stop running and look at the Orcs coming at them. Immediately, both take out their swords)
Rippin Took: (In a frightened tone) Jessie, this is the scariest thing that's ever happened to me!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Also frightened) Even scarier than when the Phone Solicitors were after us?
Rippin Took: (Nodding) Yeah!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Still in the frightened tone) Even scarier than the Balrog coming after us?
Rippin Took: (Nodding) Oh, heck yes!
Jessie Brandybuck: Even scarier than the time you got your head stuck in that sweater that was too small for you?
Rippin Took: (About to answer, but then goes into a look of thought. She shakes her head) No-that was pretty scary all on its own.
(Both the hobbits raise their weapons as the Orcs advance upon them. Suddenly we see Mikomir run from the side, his sword out and looking furious. Before the first Orc can raise its sword to strike the hobbits, Mikomir has killed him. The Urak-hai Members attack from all sides, but the three members of the company are fighting as if stricken mad. We see Mikomir attacking Orcs left and right, and we also see Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took off to the side throwing stones at the Orcs)
Jessie Brandybuck: (Grabbing Rippin Took by the arm to stop her) Wait a moment! We have swords-why don't we just use those?
Rippin Took: (Eyes widening as she realizes this) Oh! (Pulls out her sword and dagger) So those are what they're for!
(The two hobbits scream as they attack. Mikomir is fighting spectacularly, but he knows he cannot finish them all off at once. He puts the horn of Gondor to his lips and blows. We see Jimagorn, Megolas, and Brimli look up from their fighting as they hear it from the distance)
Megolas: (Angrily) Did Rippin fart again?
Jimagorn: (His eyes growing wide with worry) No! The horn of Gondor! Mikomir needs aid! Hurry!
(The three set out, and we come back to see Mikomir fighting. Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took are fighting as well, tripping Orcs and attacking them when they're down. Then, out of the crowd of Urak-hai Members coming towards them, we see-from out of the trees-Urak-hai Member#1. He looks angry and comes silently; nobody seems to notice him. Urak-hai Member#1 pulls out a massive bow and strings a monstrous arrow upon it. Mikomir fails to notice, too caught up with the Orcs around him to notice)
Mikomir: (Smiling triumphantly as he fights) Ha! Ha! I am Mikomir, heir to Gondor! I am my father's son and I am a man of iron! Nothing can penetrate my soul and the honor that protects me!
(Urak-hai Member#1 fires the arrow and it lands right in Mikomir's chest. Mikomir lunges back, taken totally by shock at what has just happened)
Mikomir: (Looking down at the arrow) Well-maybe except-that.
(Rippin Took and Jessie Brandybuck stop fighting-their faces pulled into looks of horror as they see what has befallen Mikomir. For a moment, it looks as if Mikomir will fall-but with a battle cry, he is upon his feet again, swinging his sword as if unwounded. Then, we see Urak-hai Member#1 shoot another massive arrow at Mikomir, hitting him again in the chest. Mikomir staggers dangerously, sputtering as his life slowly seeps out of him. Yet, despite the weakness building inside him, he fights-a bit more weakly now, but with many shouts of battle cries. Then, we see Urak-hai Member#1, closer this time, shoot another arrow into Mikomir)
Rippin Took: (Tears streaming down her eyes as she shouts and makes an advance forward) STOP IT!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Tears falling on her face as well as she holds back Rippin Took) Rippin, there is nothing we can do!
(Rippin Took looks at Mikomir, who is on his knees now, too weak to fight anymore-knowing that it is all over)
Rippin Took: (Raising her sword) To hell there isn't! We're gonna try and fight them off!
Jessie Brandybuck: (Looking determined as she raises her sword as well) Yeah! Because we're stupid, and proud of it!
Rippin Took: (With a proud shout) DAMN STRAIGHT! (They both start running towards the advancing Orcs) DON'T WORRY, MIKOMIR! WE'LL SAVE YOU!
(The advancing Orcs scoop up Jessie Brandybuck and Rippin Took in one sweep. The hobbits start screaming hysterically)
Rippin Took: (Shouting hysterically) SAVE US, MIKOMIR! SAVE US!
(But they are being carried off, and the other Orcs follow them-all but the Urak-hai Member#1, who stands in front of Mikomir with the bow ready to shoot another arrow, this one for the kill. Mikomir looks at the Urak-hai Member#1 with sad eyes, waiting for his death to come. But then, Jimagorn runs right into the Urak-hai Member#1, bowling him over. The two immediately begin to fight. Jimagorn is quick, but not quick enough to escape some of the monster's blows. Twice, Jimagorn is at risk of being decapitated. Jimagorn is thrown to the ground and the Urak-hai Member#1 walks over to him, raising his sword to strike, but Jimagorn plunges the dagger that was given to him back at Lórien into the monster's knee. It allows Jimagorn to get to his feet. The Urak-hai Member#1 rips out the dagger, and licks the blood off it)
Jimagorn: (His face pulled into disgust) That is so unhygienic!
(The Urak-hai Member#1 hurls the dagger at Jimagorn, but Jimagorn blocks it by putting up his sword. Jimagorn yells out and runs at the Urak-hai Member#1. Jimagorn is able to cut off the monster's right arm and plunge the sword into the stomach)
Urak-hai Member#1: (Looks at the sword in his stomach) You think that's gonna stop me? (Pushes the sword further in, drawing the startled Jimagorn closer) You really think I'm going to fall from your sword? Yeah right! (Looks Jimagorn in the face) You are so hot right now.
(Jimagorn yells out, takes the sword out from the stomach of the Urak-hai Member#1, and cuts the monster's head off. After that, he kneels to the ground, touching his chest in comfort. Then, he looks over to see Mikomir lying on the ground and his eyes grow wide with dismay. We see Jimagorn run over to Mikomir, stepping on dead bodies as he goes. With each body he steps on we hear them gruffly call out, "Ouch". Jimagorn kneels next to Mikomir)
Mikomir: (In a weak tone) They-They took the little ones! The one wearing the glasses-and the severely gassy one! (Very weakly) Lizzo-where is- Lizzo? Jimagorn: (After a moment of silence) I have let Lizzo go.
Mikomir: (With a grim smile) Then-you did-what I could not. (Grasps Jimagorn's shoulder) I-tried to-take the-Movie-from her.
Jimagorn: (Outraged) What? So that's why she was acting so weirdly! You twit! What were you thinking?
Mikomir: (Weakly) I wasn't-thinking, Jimagorn. The-Movie-took me over. For-give me.
Jimagorn: (With an angry sigh) All right, but I'm only forgiving you because you're dying! If you were alive, I'd kick your ass.
Mikomir: (Weakly) You-were right-Jimagorn. Men-are weak. I will go-and Minas Tirith-shall fall. I told them-that they-shouldn't have built-it on that-cliff! Landslides-are more common-these days!
Jimagorn: (After a long moment of silence, grasping Mikomir's hand) I will not let that happen, Mikomir. I will do everything I can to help.
(Mikomir smiles and grits his teeth in pain. Jimagorn places Mikomir's sword in his outstretched hand, and helps Mikomir move it to rest across his chest, blade down. At that moment, Megolas and Brimli appear from out of the forest)
Brimli: (In an excited voice) Hey, you guys! Megolas just showed me this tree that looked kind of like John Melloncamp! It was so-(Sees what's going on and stops speaking) Oh-sorry.
Mikomir: (Looking up at Jimagorn with a weak smile) One-more thing- Jimagorn: feed-my-dog.
(And with that, Mikomir tilts his head to the side and dies. Jimagorn closes his eyes in dismay and a single tear falls down his face. Shaking slightly, Jimagorn gets to his feet and looks at the body of Mikomir)
Jimagorn: (In a peaceful tone) Rest in peace, son of Gondor. (Looks at the sky and the camera closes in about his face) Rest in peace. (Touches himself on the chest, and on the screen we see the letters, "Oscar Nominee Clip")
Megolas: (Whispering to Brimli) Uh-I guess this isn't the best time to talk about who gets Mikomir's stuff?
Brimli: (Shaking her head) Uh-no.
