Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING from Harry Potter, they all belong to the talented J.K Rowling.

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten. --Buddha

 She half smiled at the memory, and a tiny tear rolled down her cheek. Then reality came back.

"I SAID, PUT THAT OUT!" he screamed.

"You do not have to shout at me I am right here!  And I will not." She answered.

 "FINE...then leave.  I don't want you stinking up the sheets."

"Fine!"  She then got up intentionally making a lot of noise and made her way to the living room.  She sat down in a huff and lit another cigarette.

At 4:00 a.m. James began to stir in the bedroom.  No matter how uncomfortable it was when they were together, he still couldn't fall asleep without her next to him.  Constant tension.  Why did she hate him so much?  He couldn't figure it out.  He used to make her laugh and she used to think him adorable.  Who could love him now?  He was nothing.  She was the brave one.  In the last year alone she had sent four inner circle death eaters to Azkaban and killed two others.  He was the trophy husband compared to her.  He didn't deserve her, he thought.  He had been unfaithful in the past and to this day didn't know why, for he only truly enjoyed making love when it was with her.  He loved her. That was the only thing he did know.  How could two people, once so devoted to each other become strangers in such a short period of time?  Then again, they fell in love practically overnight.  Before then they couldn't even be in the same room without gauntlets being thrown at each other.  Never were there two people who hated each other more than Evans and Potter.  James chuckled to himself at the recollection.  Evans vs. Potter was more like it.  He never even thought her beautiful until sixth year, and even then that was only one more thing to torture her about.

(January 12, 1973)

"POTTER!!  GET YOUR SORRY BACKSIDE UP HERE…NOW!!!" Lily Evans ran out of her dorm in such a rage that she could have turned students to ice with her glare.  It was obvious what had happened to her.  Students began to turn their faces to laugh at her.  If she caught them they were in for it for sure.  Her entire head was completely turned into weeds.  Such a frivolous prank for a girl of her age, but she knew exactly how it had happened.  She was screaming again when Sirius Black, unfortunately, got in her way.

"WHERE IS HE BLACK?!" she bellowed. 

"I have no idea what you are taking about.  Are you feeling alright, Evans?" He said, in the attractive, nonchalant manner that he was famous for. 

"POTTER, YOUR LITTLE BOY BITCH?  WHERE IS HE?"

"Calm down.  What has he done this time my little flower?" he said, with his hand on his chin.  Sitting on a chair a few feet away, a girl with wavy brown hair snickered at him, shutting her book loudly so he turned around.

"Blimey, Black.  Aren't we just one sandwich short of a banquet.  " she said.  "A bit soft today, are we?"  She winked at Lily before marching upstairs.

"Shut up, Renton!" Sirius said, slightly distracted.  His eyes followed her up the stairs, unconsciously.

Lily took a deep breath before speaking again.

"Cut the shit Black, and stop protecting the spoiled wank-shaft who did this to me.  Look at me!  Are you trying to tell me you don't see any difference in my appearance?"  She practically had him pinned against the wall.

"You are as beautiful as ever."  He said, and she heard a snicker behind the couch in the Gryffindor common room.  She pushed Sirius out of her way and hopped over it.

"Too chicken shit to come and face me Potter?"

A very smug James Potter emerged from the other side of the couch, rolling on the floor with laughter.  Sirius then joined him.  After about a minute they got up.  Out of breath, he leaned against the fireplace with his hands in his pockets.

"Oh yes, I am absolutely terrified of a green haired shrimp with an anger management problem.  Honestly Evans, get back on your broomstick and out of my sight (no pun intended). If you really want to complain like a little brat, talk to McGonagal...Unless you want me to tell her about what happened on Christmas."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Oh you know I would.  Blackmail is my favorite game to play with you Evans."  A crooked smile crept across his lips, the smile she hated, and now she was more then angry. She felt downright animosity towards him.

"You sneaky son of a bitch.  I only did that out of self defense!"

"Don't you have to be attacked in order to call it 'self defense', liar?"

"Well that doesn't matter.  You deserved it. You spoiled brat."

"Twat!" he spat.

"Bastard!"

"Whore!"

"Bollcock!"

"Whore!"

"Wanker!"

"Whore!"

"Oh honestly Potter, could you be less original?" she said, losing some of her energy at this argument.

"I think so...WHORE!"

She lunged at him.  He then realized he was in for it and began to run up the stairs.  She was on his tail.  She began throwing things at him to hopefully knock him down, with no real success.  They were both swift and dodged each other easily.  This went on for about twenty minutes.  Then, she found her wand.  She spouted spells at him trying to disarm him.  He just ran faster.  They chased each other until he caught her off guard and grabbed her.  He pinned her to the floor when McGonagal ran in.

"POTTER!!  EVANS!!"

He immediately got off of her.

"What in heavens name do you think you are doing in here?  You scared me half to death. I though there was a war going on in here!  You two, back to your dormitories at once!  And I don't want to see you until dinner!  IS THAT CLEAR?" she said, with her hands placed firmly on her hips.  A small crowd gathered at the top of the stairs.

"Yes Professor." They mumbled.   She raised her eyebrow and gave a nod before she left.

"Oh I'll get you next time Potter, just you wait!"  Lily muttered as soon as McGonagal was out of sight.

"Oh, get the bee out of your bonnet, will you?"   They went their separate ways, slamming doors in each direction.  Roaring laughter from their roommates was waiting for them on the other side.*

James sat up.  He could not let this go on between them.  He couldn't lose her.  He walked into the living room in his boxers, and noticed her staring at the wall. Her chest was heaving in and out, and she was crying.  He saw her put her head in her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.  She noticed him after a few minutes.  He walked up to her as she tried unsuccessfully to wipe her eyes.  He lit a cigarette to buy her more time.

"Hipocrite." She said, blowing her nose into her handkerchief.

"Don't give me that. We're not in bed."

"What do you want?" she said, yawning.

"I can't sleep."

"So what can I do for you, Mr. Potter?"

"You could keep me awake."

"Oh really. By doing what?"

"Listening."

"I felt I have listened to enough tonight Mr. Potter, unless you would care to retell me how much you hate your life with me."

"I never said I hated my life, and I certainly don't hate you." He said, more sympathetically.

"Well, that is not the message I got from your little rant earlier, and you had no right to yell at me!  All I have ever tried to do was make you a good home and love you with all I have, but it just isn't good enough.  All the while I was listening to you speak about how you can't leave the house and that it's your life that's ruined.  Did it ever occur to you that I am suffering too?  You have no idea what is going on inside me, and you won't even acknowledge my very presence.  I am unsure about so many things. I can't even begin to tell you.  You and me used to be the only sure thing in my life...and now it's shit.  It's all shit!"

She began to cry again.  She found it funny because she hadn't cried in years, not since her parents were killed.  Now all she could do was cry.  She cried for herself, and she cried for James.  The constant reminder of James would be too much for her.  She clutched her stomach in emotional pain.  He stared at her in wonder. The brave one, he thought.  He grabbed her shoulders to steady her, for she was about to collapse.

"No, Lil', this is not shit!  This is what is keeping me alive!   I thought for months that you hated me.  You cringed the last time I touched you.  I thought didn't need me anymore."

 "Well maybe I don't." she said, viciously.  " I don't know anymore.  You are awful to me James and I can't live like this.  I can't, I can't.  This is killing me.  You are killing me!"

"How!?"

"Oh, you don't think I know do you?  I know all about you and that tart, Christ! James, from what I hear she's barely out of Hogwarts!  You don't think I know where you go at night?  Do you think I'm stupid? Sirius can't cover for you anymore!  That's it!  You are just too selfish for me right now!  I will not apologize for this!"

She went into the bedroom.  She came out some minutes later in jeans and a tank top.

"Why are you dressed like that?  Muggle clothing?  Where are you going?"

"Exactly where you go every night James…out!  I need to think, and I can't!  Not with you here!  I…..I……I'm leaving you!"

"Wait, Lily, wait, please!" he cried.

"I've waited too long, and you're too late." She said, and apparated out of his life.

She stopped a block away.  She couldn't believe what she had just done.  Did she just do what she thought she did?  She needed to talk to someone.  Yes, Diana would know what to do.  She always did.

Back at their flat, James thought to himself.  Did she just…. No, she couldn't have.  This was not possible.  What was happening to his life?  Everything was falling apart.  Did she really just leave him?  Sirius would know what to do. He always did.

(Well that's chapter 2, hope you liked it.  Not so happy I know, but things will turn around soon, sort of.  Thanks for reading! Please review!)