Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Chapter 12

Dedicated to Captain Oblivious

Lily sighed quietly as she stared out the window in Herbology the next afternoon, whilst waiting for class to start. James was sitting next to her, tapping his fingers and looking around. Lily liked James a lot, he was the only student who actually cared about her. When you're a fourteen year old girl who has felt incredibly low since she was eleven, this was a pretty big thing.

She kind of wished they didn't have to be together all the time, though.

She didn't talk, not because of some deep psychological reason after what her father did to her. At least, not in her opinion. It had gradually become a habit to her. When she was in hospital, for the first couple of days, she couldn't even open her mouth for all the bandages and gauze on her face and shoulder. Then, after they came off, nobody really expected her to say much. She might have smiled or nodded at a kindly nurse, but not much else. Then came The Counselor.

The Counselor was a balding man, perhaps fifty or fifty-five who seemed ultimately depressed. He had sympathized with her deeply, over and over again, and just rubbed in all of what happened to her. For an eleven year old who used to be exuberant and happy, making her depressed was not something a doctor would have recommended.

Lily had just wanted to forget and move on. Ignore the fact that her face was scarred forever and move on. The story had attracted a lot of publicity when Lily was first admitted to hospital, and if she had ever gone back to muggle school, no-one would laugh at her or tease her. She used to have been popular, and they just would have felt sorry for her. Things would have been said behind her back, but not to her face, and a girl like Lily could have handled that.

But when The Counselor had to go and rehash everything over and over again, trying to get her over it, she had to shut him out. She couldn't live like that every day, in the past, wishing her father was dead. So she shut him out. Ignored him and everything he said. Didn't say one word to him ever again.

For three years, every day she saw The Counselor and ignored him, and every day he made a fortune out of flicking elastic bands at the wall. She started to ignore things she didn't want to hear. Things that the nurses said. Her face will never get better. Things her mother said. Your daddy went to jail today. Eventually, it got so depressing that she shut out everyone. Everything. Even the kindly nurse.

Eventually, that ignoring people just turned into not talking at all.

But then she went to Hogwarts. Away from her mother, the nurses, The Counselor. Coming to Hogwarts was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She knew why they didn't just come with their magic wands and get her the hell out of there. They wanted her to recover and get her self esteem back before she went anywhere.

But when, after three years of studying magic out of sight from the nurses, she wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't any better. So Albus Dumbledore insisted that she come to Hogwarts anyway.

It was so easy, in the hospital, to become sad and indifferent. To never be happy or joyful, barely existing, without a soul. But coming to Hogwarts changed everything. She saw happy people, like James, who made her want to be happy as well. She found hope in the darkness. She saw a new beginning for herself, even if she was talked about and stared at all the time. Just because she looked ugly (or so she thought) and didn't speak didn't make her a target, right?

Wrong. Then Malfoy's gang attacked her and she was in hospital again. At least the bloody Counselor wasn't there. But where she thought she could have a safe life, and had begun to feel secure, she was hurt, bones broken and wrists slashed. She was fully recovered physically, but vivid memories of her not being able to stand up for herself haunted her dreams each night.

Then James came along, once more, and hope entered her life. She had almost died again at the top of the Astronomy Tower, but that had just left her numb. She had shut Sirius' earlier threats out, but was scared again all the same. So what if she didn't feel like eating? No biggie. But, nooooooooo, James just had to go and take her up to bloody Dumbledore.

(A/N: Here it is, those who wanted it.).

Dumbledore had spoken, quietly and clearly to her yesterday, and Lily remembered every word he had said.

"Lily, this is hard for you. It's hard for everyone. But you can't just shut people out anymore when you feel like it. Time heals all wounds, but only when you let it. You're spiraling downwards again, Lily. You're falling into depression. I only ask one thing of you.

Believe Lily. Believe in something besides death and hate, greed and lies. What you've been through isn't what the rest of the world is like. Not at Hogwarts. Not when you have friends to protect you.

You will always have people that will try and bring you down. The world is full of Lucius Malfoys, those who hurt others and get away with it because it cannot be proved.

A very powerful wizard once said something to me. His name was Nicholas Flamel, and he was a very wise man, and had won many wars. I once asked him 'what is most important to you? Love, faith or hope' I had expected him to say hope, for all of those dark times during Grindelwald, or faith, because his wife had helped him to get through everything. But he didn't. He said love. Do you know why, Lily?"

For the first time in his office, she lifted her head and looked him straight in the eye.

"Because this is what he said.

I believe in love, because with love comes faith and hope.

Believe in love, Lily, and on your part, the world will become a better place for you."

And with that, he relinquished her to James.

~*~

James drummed his fingers on the table at Herbology, but the young Professor Sprout hadn't showed up yet. Neither had half the class, as Sprout was known to be lenient. He impatiently leant back in his chair and looked at Lily out of the corner of his eye. As per usual, she was writing in her notebook. He was dying to know what she was writing in it, and if it was about him, or that conversation that changed her attitude with Dumbledore. He didn't want to pry though. They spent every waking (and sleeping) minute near each other, and he knew she wanted space. Hell, so did he. But neither of them could get out of it. Not now, anyway. So he went back to forming ideas of how to make Lily's life better as it was. She was flooing to St. Mungo's for a check-up that afternoon, and as James wasn't her father/mother, this was the only time he got a break from being next to her.

But you've got to make choices

Be wrong or right

Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like …

He was going to visit a cosmetic healer and find out why the hell they hadn't already fixed her face. James knew that making the other half of her face wouldn't cure all of her problems, but it would make life a lot easier for her at school.

He looked at her sadly. If only her father hadn't thrown acid in her face. Her life would have been so different. They would have been friends. She probably would have dated him. But look at her now. She was so pretty, face downwards. Petite, with pretty hair and nice skin. And from what he read of her notebook, she was even more beautiful, on the inside. If only her father hadn't done what he did …

Hang on a second. Did he, James Potter, like Lily Evans?

No, he couldn't. That didn't happen to James Potter.

Then why do you sing praises about how pretty she is in your head? A voice inside him asked.

But before he had time to process the thought, the unthinkable happened. The Marauders, the height of cool, which turned the head of almost every girl in the year (and quite a few others) swaggered over to them. Lily shoved her notebook and quill hurriedly into her book bag.

"Shove over, Jamesie," Sirius said loudly. He sat down next to Lily, who immediately backed away into "Jamesie". Peter and Remus followed suit, Peter sitting next to Sirius and Remus beside James.

"What are you doing?" James asked, not sure whether to be angry, confused, or…what? After all, they'd just had a big fight, and James had thought the Marauders had finished with him forever. Apparently not. They were sitting next to him in class, which lowered them about five places on the popularity ladder, and being, well, nice to both him and Lily.

"We're sitting with you guys. What does it look like?" laughed Remus jovially. The whole classroom (everyone else had come in by now) was staring.

"What are you looking at?" Peter said. "These people are our friends,"

Lily stared.

James stared.

The whole class stared.

Professor Sprout, who had just entered, didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. She liked Lily. You didn't have to speak to be good at Herbology.

Well into the lesson, James and Lily kept stealing weird looks at the other Marauders, convinced they had some ulterior motive and it was some kind of conspiracy against them. But Remus said

"We just realized some stuff. We value you guys more than anything."

It took a while longer, but James trusted them again when at the end of the lesson they Marauder Swore they were speaking the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

And when James made a decision, Lily followed.

~*~

Sitting in the common room, waiting for McGonagall to take them to her office, where they would Floo to St. Mungo's for Lily's check-up, Lily wrote in her notebook while James sat in thought. For the first time that day, the Marauders had finally left them alone, thank God.

James didn't know what to do about the Quidditch match. Today was Friday, tomorrow was the match. He had to be at the game. He was captain. He also had to be with Lily.

But if I get Remus to take care of her … where Dumbledore and all that can see him …

James felt as if a load had come off his shoulders. It was so simple he didn't know why Dumbledore hadn't thought of it. If he sat Lily with Remus within his sight and Dumbledore's, he could still play whilst keeping an eye on her. Perfect. He would ask McGonagall on the way to the hospital.

Meanwhile, in Lily's little green notebook:

Dear Diary,

Today I'm going to St. Mungo's for a check-up. It'll be fine, only take a few minutes, but I'm dreading it anyway. Three years is a long time to spend in a hospital, and I'm dead sick of them. I wish I could look pretty again. I wish I had the courage to talk. Life is a whole lot of wishes, hopes and dreams that have been shattered for me so far. But I keep thinking of what Dumbledore said. Believe in love, because with love comes faith and hope. Maybe one day somebody will love me, even though I look ugly.

I think the Marauders like me anyway. I know James likes me anyway.

I did not just write that. Lily scribbled out the line above.

James just feels sorry for me. He's such a sweet person though. Maybe, just maybe, one day he'll get past my face and see me. Or has he already? Ugh. No. I don't want to think about it now. But he's so cute …

Lily.

At that moment, McGonagall beckoned to the two to come with her to St. Mungo's.

~*~

No point in talking what you should have been

And regretting the things that went on

Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate

Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture

~*~ At St. Mungo's (James P.O.V.) ~*~

James shifted uncomfortably in his plastic chair as the cosmetic healer entered. His name was Dr. Blazek, and he would have been about forty. James wasted no time in pleasantries, he was, after all, a Potter, and Potters were excellent businessmen. He immediately inquired as to why it was so expensive to fix Lily's face.

"Well," said Dr. Blazek slowly, leaning back in his nice, comfy office swivel chair. "What you have to understand, James, is that this is more than just a 'swish and flick' solution. Do you know what acid does to skin?"

Yeah. It makes life hell for people.

"No," he said out loud.

"It eats through and destroys the skin. It could have easily eaten all the way through to her brain, you know. Then she would most likely be dead."

James said nothing. He was kind of numb at the thought of lily being … well … dead. The doctor continued.

"Because this has eaten into her skin in such a way, each layer of the skin on her fact will have to be taken off, with new skin put on in place of that. This is a very lengthy process, and will cost a lot of money. We don't just have new skin lying around anywhere, you know,"

James doubted that.

"So, how much exactly will that cost?" asked James, thinking that maybe he could use some of the money he got every year for Christmas.

Dr. Blazek told him and his eyes widened. That would be a hell of a lot of Christmases. It would cost 34,000 galleons to fix her face entirely, and have it grow normally for the rest of her life. (That's about $250 000 for us muggles). But it was worth it, James convinced himself. His parents had more than enough for that, but getting them to spend it for Lily was the only problem. He would find a way, though.

"Done," he said.

Dr. Blazek raised his eyebrows in obvious surprise.

"I need permission from your parents, son,"

"Sure," He'd forge a letter that night.

"You need Lily to consent,"

"Sure," he knew Lily would want this. After all, that was mostly what she talked about in her diary, wasn't it?

"Okay, then," said Blazek said, still absorbing the fact that a fourteen year old was going to pay more than what he himself earned in a year to fix Lily Evans' face. It would be hard, and to be honest, he didn't really have the guts to see the girls' skin hanging in his co-workers office.

His co-worker was kind of strange…

McGonagall, in what must have been a miracle, approved the operation.

~*~

The next couple of weeks was a dream. Gryffindor won their match versus Ravenclaw easily, Lily's mother gave permission for her child to get her face fixed, and James charged the mammoth amount to his parents' vault in Gringotts with out them knowing. He doubted they'd miss it, and if they did, James would just have to tell them the truth.

It was over a month before Lily went in for the operation, and James was so impaitent he couldn't stand without jumping around. Lily was shy around him again, but that didn't matter to him.

They were in the Christmas season, and there would be a Christmas Eve Ball – there was one for the fourth years and above every second year. James hadn't bothered to make any plans, he figured if Lily wanted to dance with someone else, which would seem very out of character, then he could pick up a date there. It wasn't that hard. But if he were lucky, Lily would be looking exactly as she would have if she had not been hit with acid on the night, if he could persuade her to go.

Remus' current girlfriend, Renee DeFilipa, a Gryffindor girl who lived in the dorm next door to Lily's old one, had kindly taken Lily on a shopping trip to Hogsmeade to buy things or the ball. Lily had given no indication of whether or not she would be going, but it was assumed she would. James gave money to Renee for the dress robes.

Renee had refused to tell him anything about them except they were "stunning on her" and that he had "better force her to go to the ball she's gonna look so good". James figured he'd take her advice.

James had been sitting in the bloody waiting room for four and a half hours now, waiting for Lily and Dr. Blazek to come out. The door opened, and the latter came out, looking extremely happy with himself. Maybe he'd convinced his co-worker not to hand her skin on his office wall.

Hiding behind him it seemed, was Lily.

Blazek stepped to the side and Lily came into James' view. He gaped.

"May I present to you," Blazek announced. "The new, improved Lily Evans."

Lily was stunning.

She now had two bright green eyes that stood out from her pale complexion. Her skin was now perfect, without any freckles or blemishes from being in hospitals so long. He doubted that many of the Hogwarts students would recognise her if it hadn't been for her hair, which seemed so much happier and more shiny now.

She was perfect in James' eyes. The last few months had been hard, but this was more than worth it.

But what meant more than anything to him was when Lily looked him straight in the eyes. She didn't say a word, but her green eyes said one thing.

Thank you.

This gave James such a feeling of joy that he could never express in words.

He knew, right then, that he was meant to be with her forever.

A/N: This isn't then end guys! There's more to go!

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A random thing that Harry Potter would never say:

[To Snape] Your hair is so oily I'm surprised they're not fighting a war over it!