Life, from that
moment on, changed dramatically for Lily. In the short space of time in between
that trip to and from Dr. Blazek's office, not much had changed on the inside.
She was still the same troubled, confused girl that James had seen when she first
came to Hogwarts. She still didn't speak, still wrote in the same little green
notebook and still trusted only James.
But the rest of Hogwarts didn't see what was happening inside Lily's head. They
only saw the superficial. The saw the stunningly pretty, pure
girl that hung around with the one and only James Potter. They saw a
girl with so many opportunities ahead. So many friends, so many guys all wanting to be with her. They saw a girl who had
everything. They conveniently forgot what they had first thought when Lily
joined at the beginning of the year.
But Lily hadn't. She smiled quite a lot, and looked so much happier than what
she used to, but there was always that nagging voice in the back of her head
that kept telling her that all of her 'friends' only liked her because of her
looks.
For the next week at school, life for Lily was a whole new ball game. She had
struggled so much to blend in when she first came that most people didn't even
recognize her. She nervously enjoyed the attention of the girls that instantly
acted like her best friends, and the guys who gave her admiring looks from
across the Great Hall. None of those guys dared to get close to her. After all,
she had James Potter following her around 24/7.
James thought it was great. Looks meant so much at Hogwarts, and he had hoped
that Lily's 'makeover' would bring her out of her shell. In all appearances, it
seemed to be working, but you could never tell with Lily.
That week in
Transfiguration, James had a brainstorm. Such an intense brainstorm, in fact,
that he fell off his chair, and the blade of grass he was supposed to be
transfiguring into a vase of roses got squashed by his hand. Swearing under his
breath, but grinning all the while, he looked up to face McGonagall.
"And what, may I ask, are you doing on the floor, Mr. Potter?"
James tried to think fast.
"I was … uh … picking up my blade of grass!" James recovered brightly, holding
up his squashed item for the class to see.
"Detention." McGonagall said as she turned to help
Cindy Bulstrode get rid of the thorns on her blade of grass. "And next time,
don't lie."
Okay, maybe he hadn't recovered so well.
He didn't care. He'd just had a brainstorm. He didn't know why he hadn't
thought of it before. Lily wrote all the time in her diary. That was her way of
speaking to him. Of course. He would write notes to
her.
As soon as he was
sure McGonagall had her back turned, James grabbed a quill and parchment and
tried to think of what to write. He hurriedly scribbled something and slid it
across the desk to Lily, who instead of using her wand was writing,
predictably, in her little green notebook. She nearly needed a new one now, almost all of the pages were used up.
~*~
Lily looked up from writing in her notebook to meet the eyes of Cindy
Bulstrode, who was sitting a couple of rows in front of her. As if Cindy knew
she was being watched, she turned around and gave Lily a bright, happy smile.
Lily didn't smile back. She had used to be a forgiving person, but only a week
or two ago, in the same classroom, sitting in the same position, Cindy had
turned around to glare at Lily before turning around to giggle and laugh with
her friends. Things like that really cut deep with Lily, and she hadn't forgotten.
She enjoyed the attention of some girls, particularly from Hufflepuff and
Ravenclaw, as they had never been nasty to her face before her healing.
Thankfully, Lily had the sense to know that those who hadn't wanted to get to
know her before her healing weren't worth knowing. It annoyed her that girls
like Cindy suddenly acted like her best friend.
They were trying to tear her away from James as well, something Lily deeply
resented. James was her rock, her lighthouse, her sun, her whatever. He was
what kept her sane when she nearly went crazy. It was the thought of him that
stopped her wanting to jump off the Astronomy Tower when the other side of her head was
arguing so desperately for it.
James was everything to Lily. And in the past few days, she had come to see him
in a different light.
She turned to her left to look at him. Dark brown hair, so dark it looked black, glasses framing clear blue eyes with a bit of brown … how come she had never seen all this before? She looked back to Cindy, and saw that she was looking at James as well. Lily immediately felt angry and protective. James, who was busy writing something on a scrap of paper, was unaware he was being watched.
It was well known around the school that Cindy was going for James, and Lily didn't like it at all. James was nice, honest and trustworthy, and Cindy was none of these things.
Lily realized something with a bang. Could she be … jealous?
No, she couldn't be. That would mean that she liked James in *that* way, and that would never happen … would it? No, Lily tried to convince herself, she was just protective of him, like he was for her.
She heard snickering from Sirius and Remus; they had seen her looking, dare she say it, adoringly at James. Before she could blush or look away or anything, James passed her a slip of notepaper across to Lily. Their fingers touched as Lily received it, and Lily could hear Sirius and Remus snickering even louder.
Lily opened and read the note.
Dear Lils,
Hi, how ya doing? I just had the extremely bright idea of writing notes to you instead of expecting you to talk to me. See, this way you can talk to me and tell me exactly what you're feeling without … well … talking. So yeah. I'll start talking.
Y'know Cindy, two rows in front of us? (Lily felt like snorting. Of course she knew Cindy).
She keeps looking at me funny. It's starting to scare me. I vote we don't sit with her at dinner tonight. That okay with you? It doesn't really seem like we get along with her.
Your friend, James.
Lily read the note with both good and bad feelings. Good, that he didn't like Cindy and didn't want to sit with her or anything. Good, that he felt he got along better with her than with Cindy. Good that he found another way to communicate with her. She'd thought of it long ago, but never put it into action.
But then there was the bad. What would James think if he knew Lily was "looking at him funny"? And then the fact that he signed it "Your friend". Would he ever see her as more than a friend? Or would he always feel pity for the once crippled Lily, who owed him so much for paying for her face to be fixed. Lily knew she was overanalyzing, but she couldn't help it. A week ago, James was a kind, generous person who did nothing more than just keep her sanity anchored. Now, it was so different, and Lily couldn't stop thinking about him.
The bell rang, signaling classes were over for the day. Lily tucked the note between her books, and mentally composed a reply.
In study hall, where all the students were under teacher's supervision whilst they did their homework and assignments, Lily and James were passing notes in earnest, whilst Peter, Remus and Sirius tried to hold back their laughter. Anyone looking at them would know that they liked each other, but neither knew that the other person liked it back.
James was still trying to get over Lily's new look. He wanted so much to be more than friends with her, but had many insecurities about it. What if Lily thought he only liked her because of her looks? That certainly wasn't true; the note passing and reading Lily's diary only strengthened their friendship.
Their friendship. What if things didn't work out, and that ruined the bond between them? What if Lily turned him down, and didn't even think of him in *that way*? Was it worth it?
He passed another note to Lily.
***Lils,
I'm booooooooooorrrrrrrreeed! Wanna get out of here?
James.***
Lily grinned, a strand of red hair falling in front of her eyes. She wore it in a ponytail now, not ashamed of her face.
***J
Sure. How?
***L
James grinned.
***Watch.***
He grabbed Lily's hand (loving the spark of electricity that shot up his arm) and they went over to McGonagall, who was sitting out the front.
"Excuse me, Professor," said James, grinning. He was part of the Marauder gang, and they created trouble, but he was still the one to have taken on Lily.
"Yes, Potter?" McGonagall looked up.
"I was wondering if Lily and I could check out a book we need in the library. It would help us with we're covering in class at the moment,"
James had no idea what they were covering in class at the moment. He'd been too busy staring at Lily to notice.
"of course. Here's your slip." You required a slip to get out of Study Hall.
"See," said James as they walked out. "Easy as that,"
Lily giggled, and James looked a little shocked. He had heard whimpers and cries and sort of screams escape her mouth before, but no giggles.
Lily felt like giggling some more just seeing the look of surprise on James' face. She tried not to shake as the thought of what she was about to do. She wanted to talk. To James. To tell him how she felt.
She and James ran quickly across the grass outside, in order to hide behind a tree where no-one from inside the castle could see them. Should he tell her his feelings? James wondered. Now would be an opportune moment, but he wasn't sure he had the guts.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your
tears,
when you'd scream i'd fight away all of your fears,
and I held your hand through all of these years,
but you still...have...all of me
He was about to say something, as they sat in companionable silence, but Lily turned to him.
"James?" she barely whispered.
"Yes?" unconsiously, he lowered his voice to a whisper as he stared into her eyes.
"I-I think I'm in love with you."
Oops. Lily liked him, but she had said love. Then again, maybe it was her heart talking.
A thousand thoughts ran through James' head. She talking! Talking to me! She likes me! She LOVES me!
"I love you too Lily Evans," said James.
And with that, he kissed her.
A/N: YAAYY! Finished. I'm in a huge hurry now, 'coz in 5 minutes I'm leaving for holidays for a week. Rest assured, the next chapter will ome much sooner.
This story isn't finished yet!
Sorry, no time for thankyous. Next chapter.
Bye!
