Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Harry Potter, they all belong to J.K.
Rowling. I do own, however, Diana Renton Black, and Nicole Portman.
"Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good."-Emerson
(*Two weeks later....*)
For the past two weeks James and Lily have remained apart. James was often seen throwing the quaffle back and forth in his backyard, the backyard that he and Lily shared only a couple of weeks ago. Quidditch seemed to be the safest distraction for him. When he was in the air his head was clear, and he could stay far away from the reality that was his present condition. Otherwise, he thought of her every minute of every day. He thought that he was absolutely nothing without her and constantly reminded Sirius of this. He stayed at their home and Lily still retained her little room above the Leaky Cauldron. Even though the separation was hard and painful, she had grown accustomed to it.
Diana and Sirius remained the same, although Katrina's death was especially hard on both of them. Crouch simply dismissed it in the Daily Prophet as a casualty of war. To him she was just like the others. She had no name, no face, but to Lily and Diana, her lifeless expression was one they would never get out of their minds. It was burned in them forever, and whenever they thought of her they felt a strong sense of guilt, especially for the fact that they couldn't give her a funeral. Crouch would never have allowed it.
The Muggle police found Katrina's husband in the upstairs bedroom the next day. He seemed to have gone mad, and was admitted to the Muggle infirmary for the mentally ill. He kept shouting gibberish about wizards and green lights.
Lily and Alice met five times a week at Flourish and Blotts at 11:00am. They would have lunch and then begin her training. They would have to go to a different location every time, for fear of being discovered. Many of Voldomort's supporters were out and about, and they did not want to be found. They trained for hours; this was Lily's distraction. They practiced every form of combat imaginable. Alice was growing tired of the nonstop training, and grew irritable. On this particular day they decided to train in an abandon warehouse on the far end of Charing Cross Road, about a half a mile from Diagon Alley.
Lily was tired. They had been there four hours already. They had gotten an early start and it was only 1:00pm. Her muscles hurt and she had a headache, but they had to finish.
"Ok Alice lets try it again."
"No, Lily, I'm tired!" Alice sighed.
" I don't care! Do you want to do this or not?"
"I do, but can't we just work on the wand defenses?" she whined. "I hate these muggle training exercises! I mean, punch! Kick! Squat! Block! It's really hard!"
"No shit, now stop complaining. This is what goes into it. We have to know how to fight like muggles as well as wizards. Plus, it gets us in better shape."
"Well, I bet the Death Eaters don't have to train like this. They just use magic to stay in shape."
"Well Alice Ferguson, I am surprised at you. Have I taught you nothing? Death Eaters have NO stamina. They rely on curses, not strategies. And who says they are in shape? We have to fight against them and we don't know what methods they will use."
"Well what about the curses. Surely we could just use those, can't we?"
"We try to use the curses as little as possible. Fighting like a muggle catches them off guard. They don't expect it. More importantly, it improves our coordination and strength. You don't want to be weak do you?"
"Um, no."
"Well let's go then. I'll do it with you this time. Monday we can continue with the Curses, and I'll teach you how to block them."
"Oh, alright. Frank never told me you were going to be so mean about it."
"I am NOT being mean. I am being fair and I am telling you the truth. Do not expect kindness from this job. Crouch alone will make you feel like you are nothing just because you are Frank's fiancée. You will thank me for it later, I promise. Besides, you should be thanking me for doing this for you. Crouch trained me and made me cry twice."
"You, cry? Don't make me laugh." Lily stared at her, wide eyed. She then folded her arms at stared. Alice felt a little embarrassed. "You mean actual tears?"
"No I mean floods of tears. I was only 18 after all. I was a child. Not to mention that I was a newlywed and terrified of Death Eaters."
"Alright, I'm sorry let's do this. When do we finish?"
"About a half an hour. Let's go."
They continued to train for the next thirty minutes. By the end of it they were both sweating and panting.
"Ok, are we done NOW?" Alice asked.
"Yes, were done you big baby. Do you want to go somewhere and eat?"
"Absolutely. Where?"
"How about Florean Fortescue's?"
"Ice Cream again? I thought we had to stay healthy?"
"We can be healthy tomorrow, now lets go, and this place isn't exactly inviting."
They walked out of the warehouse and began to walk down Charing Cross Road. They walked through the Leaky Cauldron in a hurry, not noticing anything or anyone, and went strait to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Lily ordered a chocolate sundae with whipped cream and fudge, while Alice ordered a banana split. Mid way through they struck up a conversation.
"So how is everything Alice? Is Frank treating you alright?"
"Ha ha. Yes as a matter of fact. We think the wedding will be sometime next month. We are actually going shopping for wedding robes this afternoon. It turns out there will be no invitations. Frank thinks it is best. God forbid one got into the wrong hands."
"Oh I completely understand. It would be Auror central and if it was invaded...well I don't want to even think about what would happen."
"That's what I said. So it will only have to be a few people. You, Diana and Sirius, Nicole and Remus, Dumbledore and McGonagall, and well, James of course, I mean, if that's alright with you."
"Why does everyone think I am a fragile little girl who can't handle him in my presence. I am still married to the man you know. It will be fine, I promise. He is your friend. I understand that. I never asked you to choose."
"I know I just want everyone to get along, that's all."
"I know you do sweetheart. I promise you have nothing to worry about." With that she took Alice's hand in hers, and smiled.
"Do you think you will ever go back?" Alice asked.
"Back to what?" Lily pretended that she didn't understand the question.
"James you silly fool? Who else?"
Lily thought for a minute before answering. She breathed in and out in deep sighs before answering. "I guess..well...he has to give me a reason to go back. He hasn't even attempted to locate me or ask anyone how I am. For all I know he could care less about me. He could treat me like he did before. Why would I want to go back to that?"
"I see your point. I think he is avoiding you because he thinks you hate him."
"Well good. I want him to think that. Let him know how it feels to be treated like crap for once. Maybe now he can make up his own mind about what he wants." Lily looked up at the sky and thought for a minute. "Although..."
Alice's head propped up. "Although what?"
"Well, he did say that our marriage was the only thing keeping him alive."
"What! When did he say that?"
"The night I left."
"How could you leave him like that?"
"Are you kidding me Alice? I hope you are not trying to make me feel guilty? HE cheated on ME! He deceived ME! I did what was in my best interest at the time and I DON'T want to talk about it anymore!"
There was silence as they finished the remains of their ice cream. Then they heard bells. Once, twice, then three times.
"What time is it?" Alice asked. She had a worried expression on her face.
"It's 3:00 why?"
"Oh I have to go with Frank to try on wedding robes, remember? I am horribly late. He is going to be so angry. I'm sorry Lily for bailing out on you like this but I must dash. Give my love to the girls, and I will see you Monday!"
Lily waved back to her friend and gave a sigh. Now what was she going to do for the rest of the afternoon? She had no errands, not that she knew of anyway. She missed James terribly at that moment, but sighed and dismissed it. She reminded herself that she was stronger than that. But, secretly she wanted him back. She couldn't believe what she was thinking. She wanted the lying, cheating, no-good, son of a bitch to come crawling back to her. 'Stop it!' she told herself and realized that she had to do something soon or she was never going to get that thought out of her head.
She thought about where she could go. She absolutely, positively, most certainly did NOT want to run into James. It would be disastrous because at that moment she was extremely vulnerable. He would definitely be around Diagon Alley at this moment and she didn't want to go back to the Leaky Cauldron. Knockturn Alley perhaps? No, how did that thought get in there? She wondered.
Hogwarts? No, what could she possibly do there? Hogsmeade? Maybe, possibly? Yes that was a bright idea; he would never be there. But what would she do there? She thought. Well she did have a craving for a butterbeer, and no one made them like Madame Rosmerta. Yes, that is precisely what she shall do.
With a newfound, yet silly mission she apparated out of Diagon Alley and found herself at the edge of Hogsmeade. She was right in front of Dervish and Banges, the wizard equipment shop on High Street.
Before buying her butterbeer she decided to do a little window-shopping. She spotted Gladrags Wizardwear and went in to take a peak. She noticed the usual items. There were robes for all occasions and a small section on imitation Puddlemere United Quidditch Robes. She got bored quickly and started to examine, for some reason, the gigantic selection of socks. There were odd and came in all shapes and colors. She was slightly amused and then remembered her craving for a nice hot butterbeer. She abruptly left the shop without taking a second glance.
When she walked out she noticed Zonko's and Honeydukes. She smiled to herself. These shops reminded her of her school days. She would come here on weekends with Diana and Nicole, with Katrina following close behind. Her expression suddenly grew sad at the thought of Katrina, but she soon snapped out of it. They would go with their boyfriends and bring huge bags back up to the common room. They hardly slept those nights, playing jokes on each other and eating until their stomachs nearly exploded. Those were the best days of her life, she thought to herself.
She was on her way to Zonko's. She just wanted to look for a minute. Her eyes wandered into the other buildings until she came upon the Hog's Head. She peered into the window, half not paying attention, when she saw a man hunched over the bar. He had shoulder length black hair and she knew who it was instantly.
'It's three thirty in the afternoon' she thought. 'Who gets drunk at this hour?'
She then went in. She had her arms folded. Her old school mate never looked up, or even noticed that she had entered. The bar was deserted, except for a few people crowded around a table in the back. They appeared to be playing poker. She walked closer to the man and sighed loudly.
"Severus." She said, with a touch of pity in her voice. "What are you doing here?"
He quickly got up, as if he were asleep, and looked at her. He had large bags under his eyes and his hair was messy. It looked like he kept running his fingers through it over and over again. He was obviously drunk, but he was coming off it. He immediately knew whom that voice belonged to. It had been embedded in his mind for the past 12 years. He loved that voice, and that voice's owner.
"Lily." He said. His voice sounded raspy and tired. He was overworked and she noticed. He tried to think of what to say. "I was...um..just having a drink before work. It's harmless I assure you."
"Harmless eh. Damn it Severus look at yourself! 'A drink before work'. Do you think I am stupid? What is going on with you? I am seriously worried. Do you even know what time it is?" There was anger and frustration in her voice.
"No I don't. Now if you will excuse me I..."
"Oh no, you aren't going anywhere until I get some answers!" She pulled up a stool next to him before he could get up. "You there! Bring me a Firewhisky!" She shouted at the bartender.
"Please Lily I would just like to be left alone. Your so-called wisdom can't help me. Nothing can help me now." For some reason his attitude got to her. She remembered him being, well, not so happy, but it used to be part of the little charm he actually had. Like a sad, desperate poet.
"Now that's not true. Come on, you used to talk to me, back at school, remember? Now it wasn't that long ago."
"Those days are dead, Lily, and we are two totally different worlds now!" His manner changed from severely depressed to angry and she didn't quite know why.
"What do you mean by that?!"
"Nothing, now just go away!"
"Listen you! You don't have to attack me for trying to help! And it's not fair of you to say that! Just because we don't speak to each other often and I happened to have married your arch enemy doesn't mean that we don't live in the same world anymore!"
"Oh Lily it has nothing to do with that! James is not my arch enemy, although I still haven't quite forgiven you."
"Then what?" She yelled at him.
"I can't tell you!" He said, emphasizing every word. He tried to get up, but fumbled and then fell flat on the ground. As he got up he grabbed his head in pain. He tried to sit on the stool again, but tripped over it and landed hard on his behind. Lily was still angry but the pity in her eyes never left. She shook her head at him and uncrossed her arms. She attempted to help him up but he shoved her away.
"No!" he cried.
"Stop it Severus!" She grabbed him by the arm and yanked him up. He fumbled as he arose but landed in her arms with a hard thud. This then knocked her over into the bar. She let out a cry of pain. The rest of the people in the Hog's Head noticed their behavior.
"Hey! You two! Keep it down over there we are trying to finish a game here!" Lily and Severus ignored them. Instead he got off her and tried to straiten up, with little success.
"You are a mess." Severus just nodded at her words.
"Will you at least let me take you home?" she asked.
"No, it's alright. I can manage."
"Well obviously you can't. Where do you live?"
"No, it's ok, really." He stressed his last word, hoping it would convince her. It didn't.
"I am taking you home so either you tell me where you are staying or we can wander around Hogsmeade for the rest of the afternoon. Either way I am not leaving you in this condition." She crossed her arms, emphasizing her point. Severus groaned and then let out a pitiful "alright."
"I'll lead you." He sighed. He then grabbed his coat and she helped him put it on. They knew each other so well. It was a pity, he thought, that they were not allowed to speak to each other. He thought about what life would have been like if he had gotten to her before James.
They exited the pub with his arm leaning on her shoulder. They walked to the edge of Hogsmeade, near the Three Broomsticks.
"Do you want to take the train in or shall we apparate?" she asked
"Apparate. If not we will be on the train until tomorrow morning."
"Alright. You have to do it with me though or else it won't work. Are you strong enough?"
"I think so. Apparate to The Leaky Cauldron."
"Alright then. On the count of three. Ready? One, two, three." In a flash they were on the Diagon Alley side of the Leaky Cauldron. She helped him through it and then they were on the other side, facing London.
"Would you care to get off my shoulders now? We have to change out of robes before anyone sees."
"Yes. Thank you Lily." The two of them changed out of robes and into muggle clothing.
"Where exactly are we going Severus?"
"It's not much farther. This way." He pointed to the opposite end of Charing Cross Road. On the far side Lily could see an old manor embellished in ivory and alabaster stone. She knew that was where he meant.
They walked a little farther without a word. He was still sobering up and she didn't want to leave him alone just yet.
"I'm sorry Lily." He said looking at the concrete ground. "I didn't mean to shout at you before."
"That's fine." She replied, not really listening. She was thinking of James again. Severus could tell this but didn't really want to bring it up. He didn't know they had separated.
They walked for about a half an hour, not speaking. It was a little awkward for both of them, until Lily finally broke the silence.
"Severus. You never told me what you did for a living."
He tensed up. The question had arisen. He loved Lily but he could never tell her what haunted his dreams at night, and the jarring pain he felt on his arm every time the Dark Lord called. He bit his lip and tried to think of a response.
"Research mostly." He replied. "I can't really say." He thought that sounded good enough.
"I understand. You don't have to tell me." She knew he had a secret, but she could tell he was nervous and didn't want to further upset him.
"That's it, over there."
"Wow, this is where you live? The ministry must be paying you well." She was half sarcastic when she said this.
"Well actually I am staying with a friend at the moment. I am currently looking for a place to live."
"Oh really? How fortunate for you."
They approached the long driveway to the house and Severus struggled a bit getting through it because it was on a hill. He leaned on her again for support. When they approached the door she knocked on it, and he released her. The door opened and the fact that met them gave Lily such a sense of shock that she had an obvious look of disgust on her face.
"You!" She shouted, and then caught herself, but the damage was done.
"Well if it isn't the beautiful Mrs. Potter. You look more and more like a frigid whore every time I lay eyes on you. I think it's the hair; you should really do something about that. It might really loosen you up."
"I think you are confusing me with your whore of a wife. That is, the frigidness, not the hair."
He ignored her.
"Well I see, Lily, that you have brought our dear friend home. I assume you met him at the pub he frequents." A sly smile crept across his face. "Was the happy wife trying to forget her marriage troubles? Or, better yet, was she trying to bide her time while that handsome husband of hers was fucking the student? They looked so happy last time I saw them--"
"That's enough Lucius!" Severus snarled. He then looked at Lily in disbelief as she looked at the floor. He hated James to begin with, but what he did to her, he felt, was unforgivable. She, however, was not going to let that comment slide, but she couldn't think of a thing to say. The ball was, unfortunately, in his court.
"Oh, and I was so distraught to hear about your little friend. What was her name again? I guess it wasn't important enough for me to remember. But hey, just another casualty eh old girl?" He lightly punched her shoulder. She shivered.
"Touch me again, Malfoy, and you and your family will never see the light of day again. I have enough on you to make my actions seem to be another 'casualty' as you so bluntly put it."
"And a threat too. How surprisingly out of character." Lucius said, chuckling. "So tell me, how is you living friend, Miss Renton?"
"Oh, do you mean Mrs. Black?" she asked, cocking her head slightly to the side. "Blissful, if you must know."
"I am happy for her."
"Oh, I'll bet you are." She said. The tables were turning in her favor. He looked heated. "She asked about you the other day."
"Did she?"
"Yes. Not that I would know, I think she was simply thinking out loud. We were eating and she got terrible indigestion, and said it reminded her of you." Lily said smiling. "Something about the desire to vomit must have triggered your face."
"Well Evans, it is so nice chatting with you, but I have a real life, and I can't be bothered with you little threats and pointless inquisitions." He said, while his eye twitched. "Now kindly get off my porch. I don't want your Mudblood odor to linger much longer. Severus, come in when you are finished talking to this filth. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky, this one's got a broken heart." He laughed at his comment as she shut the door on both of them.
"Lily I am so sorry." Severus replied.
"Malfoy? You're staying with Malfoy?" She was livid. Malfoy and Lily always hated each other. It all started sometime in fourth year, from indifference to dislike to absolute hatred. But it was simply because of how protective she was.
"Only for a little while. I just have to get everything in order."
"Yes well I have to go. I just might vomit if I stay here any longer."
"Thank you Lily, for bringing me back here. You didn't have to."
"I'll tell you one thing Severus. You are so lucky that I care about you."
She turned and left him there on the porch. She didn't say goodbye or wave. When she got to the end of the driveway she apparated back to the Leaky Cauldron. Her mind was swimming with insults she could have thrown at Lucius but didn't. She was infuriated, but also deeply hurt. He had hit a nerve, and it annoyed her that she let him get to her. She was also wondering how he knew about Katrina. The Daily Prophet never said they were friends, and they never stated a name. She knew he worked for the dark side, but she didn't know how to get him, and she had other, bigger fish to fry.
She reached her room and looked at the clock. It was four thirty in the afternoon. She noticed a letter on the windowsill and grabbed it. She ripped open the letter and read it.
*Dear Lily,
Nicole and I want to invite you to dinner tonight. We haven't seen you in weeks and we miss you. Dinner is at 6. This is Remus by the way. (Nicole wants to speak to you alone though, I don't know why?)*
She threw the letter down on the bed and glanced out the window. She missed Remus and Nicole and he was right, they hadn't even spoken in weeks. She felt a little guilty about it too, but they did live far away. She was sure that James or Sirius had told them about what happened anyway. She had two hours to get ready. She sighed. Sometimes having three weeks off was unnerving for her. She was restless and wanted some action. She also wanted James. She still couldn't sleep, especially now. She wanted to be held and touched and loved. She ran her fingers through her hair, got up and plopped down on the bed. She would try to sleep now, if only for a couple of minutes.
She drifted off to sleep at 4:45pm but her dreams were in another time and place. She dreamt of a boy. A boy who looked shockingly familiar. A boy with piercing green eyes....and a small, lightening bolt shaped scar on his forehead.
(Ok I know I said that James and Lily would get back together this chapter, but I needed to introduce two very important characters, Lucius and Severus. I needed to develop more, but next chapter they will, I promise. I want them to just as much as you. I will also introduce Remus, Nicole, and Peter. PLEASE REVIEW!)
"Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good."-Emerson
(*Two weeks later....*)
For the past two weeks James and Lily have remained apart. James was often seen throwing the quaffle back and forth in his backyard, the backyard that he and Lily shared only a couple of weeks ago. Quidditch seemed to be the safest distraction for him. When he was in the air his head was clear, and he could stay far away from the reality that was his present condition. Otherwise, he thought of her every minute of every day. He thought that he was absolutely nothing without her and constantly reminded Sirius of this. He stayed at their home and Lily still retained her little room above the Leaky Cauldron. Even though the separation was hard and painful, she had grown accustomed to it.
Diana and Sirius remained the same, although Katrina's death was especially hard on both of them. Crouch simply dismissed it in the Daily Prophet as a casualty of war. To him she was just like the others. She had no name, no face, but to Lily and Diana, her lifeless expression was one they would never get out of their minds. It was burned in them forever, and whenever they thought of her they felt a strong sense of guilt, especially for the fact that they couldn't give her a funeral. Crouch would never have allowed it.
The Muggle police found Katrina's husband in the upstairs bedroom the next day. He seemed to have gone mad, and was admitted to the Muggle infirmary for the mentally ill. He kept shouting gibberish about wizards and green lights.
Lily and Alice met five times a week at Flourish and Blotts at 11:00am. They would have lunch and then begin her training. They would have to go to a different location every time, for fear of being discovered. Many of Voldomort's supporters were out and about, and they did not want to be found. They trained for hours; this was Lily's distraction. They practiced every form of combat imaginable. Alice was growing tired of the nonstop training, and grew irritable. On this particular day they decided to train in an abandon warehouse on the far end of Charing Cross Road, about a half a mile from Diagon Alley.
Lily was tired. They had been there four hours already. They had gotten an early start and it was only 1:00pm. Her muscles hurt and she had a headache, but they had to finish.
"Ok Alice lets try it again."
"No, Lily, I'm tired!" Alice sighed.
" I don't care! Do you want to do this or not?"
"I do, but can't we just work on the wand defenses?" she whined. "I hate these muggle training exercises! I mean, punch! Kick! Squat! Block! It's really hard!"
"No shit, now stop complaining. This is what goes into it. We have to know how to fight like muggles as well as wizards. Plus, it gets us in better shape."
"Well, I bet the Death Eaters don't have to train like this. They just use magic to stay in shape."
"Well Alice Ferguson, I am surprised at you. Have I taught you nothing? Death Eaters have NO stamina. They rely on curses, not strategies. And who says they are in shape? We have to fight against them and we don't know what methods they will use."
"Well what about the curses. Surely we could just use those, can't we?"
"We try to use the curses as little as possible. Fighting like a muggle catches them off guard. They don't expect it. More importantly, it improves our coordination and strength. You don't want to be weak do you?"
"Um, no."
"Well let's go then. I'll do it with you this time. Monday we can continue with the Curses, and I'll teach you how to block them."
"Oh, alright. Frank never told me you were going to be so mean about it."
"I am NOT being mean. I am being fair and I am telling you the truth. Do not expect kindness from this job. Crouch alone will make you feel like you are nothing just because you are Frank's fiancée. You will thank me for it later, I promise. Besides, you should be thanking me for doing this for you. Crouch trained me and made me cry twice."
"You, cry? Don't make me laugh." Lily stared at her, wide eyed. She then folded her arms at stared. Alice felt a little embarrassed. "You mean actual tears?"
"No I mean floods of tears. I was only 18 after all. I was a child. Not to mention that I was a newlywed and terrified of Death Eaters."
"Alright, I'm sorry let's do this. When do we finish?"
"About a half an hour. Let's go."
They continued to train for the next thirty minutes. By the end of it they were both sweating and panting.
"Ok, are we done NOW?" Alice asked.
"Yes, were done you big baby. Do you want to go somewhere and eat?"
"Absolutely. Where?"
"How about Florean Fortescue's?"
"Ice Cream again? I thought we had to stay healthy?"
"We can be healthy tomorrow, now lets go, and this place isn't exactly inviting."
They walked out of the warehouse and began to walk down Charing Cross Road. They walked through the Leaky Cauldron in a hurry, not noticing anything or anyone, and went strait to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Lily ordered a chocolate sundae with whipped cream and fudge, while Alice ordered a banana split. Mid way through they struck up a conversation.
"So how is everything Alice? Is Frank treating you alright?"
"Ha ha. Yes as a matter of fact. We think the wedding will be sometime next month. We are actually going shopping for wedding robes this afternoon. It turns out there will be no invitations. Frank thinks it is best. God forbid one got into the wrong hands."
"Oh I completely understand. It would be Auror central and if it was invaded...well I don't want to even think about what would happen."
"That's what I said. So it will only have to be a few people. You, Diana and Sirius, Nicole and Remus, Dumbledore and McGonagall, and well, James of course, I mean, if that's alright with you."
"Why does everyone think I am a fragile little girl who can't handle him in my presence. I am still married to the man you know. It will be fine, I promise. He is your friend. I understand that. I never asked you to choose."
"I know I just want everyone to get along, that's all."
"I know you do sweetheart. I promise you have nothing to worry about." With that she took Alice's hand in hers, and smiled.
"Do you think you will ever go back?" Alice asked.
"Back to what?" Lily pretended that she didn't understand the question.
"James you silly fool? Who else?"
Lily thought for a minute before answering. She breathed in and out in deep sighs before answering. "I guess..well...he has to give me a reason to go back. He hasn't even attempted to locate me or ask anyone how I am. For all I know he could care less about me. He could treat me like he did before. Why would I want to go back to that?"
"I see your point. I think he is avoiding you because he thinks you hate him."
"Well good. I want him to think that. Let him know how it feels to be treated like crap for once. Maybe now he can make up his own mind about what he wants." Lily looked up at the sky and thought for a minute. "Although..."
Alice's head propped up. "Although what?"
"Well, he did say that our marriage was the only thing keeping him alive."
"What! When did he say that?"
"The night I left."
"How could you leave him like that?"
"Are you kidding me Alice? I hope you are not trying to make me feel guilty? HE cheated on ME! He deceived ME! I did what was in my best interest at the time and I DON'T want to talk about it anymore!"
There was silence as they finished the remains of their ice cream. Then they heard bells. Once, twice, then three times.
"What time is it?" Alice asked. She had a worried expression on her face.
"It's 3:00 why?"
"Oh I have to go with Frank to try on wedding robes, remember? I am horribly late. He is going to be so angry. I'm sorry Lily for bailing out on you like this but I must dash. Give my love to the girls, and I will see you Monday!"
Lily waved back to her friend and gave a sigh. Now what was she going to do for the rest of the afternoon? She had no errands, not that she knew of anyway. She missed James terribly at that moment, but sighed and dismissed it. She reminded herself that she was stronger than that. But, secretly she wanted him back. She couldn't believe what she was thinking. She wanted the lying, cheating, no-good, son of a bitch to come crawling back to her. 'Stop it!' she told herself and realized that she had to do something soon or she was never going to get that thought out of her head.
She thought about where she could go. She absolutely, positively, most certainly did NOT want to run into James. It would be disastrous because at that moment she was extremely vulnerable. He would definitely be around Diagon Alley at this moment and she didn't want to go back to the Leaky Cauldron. Knockturn Alley perhaps? No, how did that thought get in there? She wondered.
Hogwarts? No, what could she possibly do there? Hogsmeade? Maybe, possibly? Yes that was a bright idea; he would never be there. But what would she do there? She thought. Well she did have a craving for a butterbeer, and no one made them like Madame Rosmerta. Yes, that is precisely what she shall do.
With a newfound, yet silly mission she apparated out of Diagon Alley and found herself at the edge of Hogsmeade. She was right in front of Dervish and Banges, the wizard equipment shop on High Street.
Before buying her butterbeer she decided to do a little window-shopping. She spotted Gladrags Wizardwear and went in to take a peak. She noticed the usual items. There were robes for all occasions and a small section on imitation Puddlemere United Quidditch Robes. She got bored quickly and started to examine, for some reason, the gigantic selection of socks. There were odd and came in all shapes and colors. She was slightly amused and then remembered her craving for a nice hot butterbeer. She abruptly left the shop without taking a second glance.
When she walked out she noticed Zonko's and Honeydukes. She smiled to herself. These shops reminded her of her school days. She would come here on weekends with Diana and Nicole, with Katrina following close behind. Her expression suddenly grew sad at the thought of Katrina, but she soon snapped out of it. They would go with their boyfriends and bring huge bags back up to the common room. They hardly slept those nights, playing jokes on each other and eating until their stomachs nearly exploded. Those were the best days of her life, she thought to herself.
She was on her way to Zonko's. She just wanted to look for a minute. Her eyes wandered into the other buildings until she came upon the Hog's Head. She peered into the window, half not paying attention, when she saw a man hunched over the bar. He had shoulder length black hair and she knew who it was instantly.
'It's three thirty in the afternoon' she thought. 'Who gets drunk at this hour?'
She then went in. She had her arms folded. Her old school mate never looked up, or even noticed that she had entered. The bar was deserted, except for a few people crowded around a table in the back. They appeared to be playing poker. She walked closer to the man and sighed loudly.
"Severus." She said, with a touch of pity in her voice. "What are you doing here?"
He quickly got up, as if he were asleep, and looked at her. He had large bags under his eyes and his hair was messy. It looked like he kept running his fingers through it over and over again. He was obviously drunk, but he was coming off it. He immediately knew whom that voice belonged to. It had been embedded in his mind for the past 12 years. He loved that voice, and that voice's owner.
"Lily." He said. His voice sounded raspy and tired. He was overworked and she noticed. He tried to think of what to say. "I was...um..just having a drink before work. It's harmless I assure you."
"Harmless eh. Damn it Severus look at yourself! 'A drink before work'. Do you think I am stupid? What is going on with you? I am seriously worried. Do you even know what time it is?" There was anger and frustration in her voice.
"No I don't. Now if you will excuse me I..."
"Oh no, you aren't going anywhere until I get some answers!" She pulled up a stool next to him before he could get up. "You there! Bring me a Firewhisky!" She shouted at the bartender.
"Please Lily I would just like to be left alone. Your so-called wisdom can't help me. Nothing can help me now." For some reason his attitude got to her. She remembered him being, well, not so happy, but it used to be part of the little charm he actually had. Like a sad, desperate poet.
"Now that's not true. Come on, you used to talk to me, back at school, remember? Now it wasn't that long ago."
"Those days are dead, Lily, and we are two totally different worlds now!" His manner changed from severely depressed to angry and she didn't quite know why.
"What do you mean by that?!"
"Nothing, now just go away!"
"Listen you! You don't have to attack me for trying to help! And it's not fair of you to say that! Just because we don't speak to each other often and I happened to have married your arch enemy doesn't mean that we don't live in the same world anymore!"
"Oh Lily it has nothing to do with that! James is not my arch enemy, although I still haven't quite forgiven you."
"Then what?" She yelled at him.
"I can't tell you!" He said, emphasizing every word. He tried to get up, but fumbled and then fell flat on the ground. As he got up he grabbed his head in pain. He tried to sit on the stool again, but tripped over it and landed hard on his behind. Lily was still angry but the pity in her eyes never left. She shook her head at him and uncrossed her arms. She attempted to help him up but he shoved her away.
"No!" he cried.
"Stop it Severus!" She grabbed him by the arm and yanked him up. He fumbled as he arose but landed in her arms with a hard thud. This then knocked her over into the bar. She let out a cry of pain. The rest of the people in the Hog's Head noticed their behavior.
"Hey! You two! Keep it down over there we are trying to finish a game here!" Lily and Severus ignored them. Instead he got off her and tried to straiten up, with little success.
"You are a mess." Severus just nodded at her words.
"Will you at least let me take you home?" she asked.
"No, it's alright. I can manage."
"Well obviously you can't. Where do you live?"
"No, it's ok, really." He stressed his last word, hoping it would convince her. It didn't.
"I am taking you home so either you tell me where you are staying or we can wander around Hogsmeade for the rest of the afternoon. Either way I am not leaving you in this condition." She crossed her arms, emphasizing her point. Severus groaned and then let out a pitiful "alright."
"I'll lead you." He sighed. He then grabbed his coat and she helped him put it on. They knew each other so well. It was a pity, he thought, that they were not allowed to speak to each other. He thought about what life would have been like if he had gotten to her before James.
They exited the pub with his arm leaning on her shoulder. They walked to the edge of Hogsmeade, near the Three Broomsticks.
"Do you want to take the train in or shall we apparate?" she asked
"Apparate. If not we will be on the train until tomorrow morning."
"Alright. You have to do it with me though or else it won't work. Are you strong enough?"
"I think so. Apparate to The Leaky Cauldron."
"Alright then. On the count of three. Ready? One, two, three." In a flash they were on the Diagon Alley side of the Leaky Cauldron. She helped him through it and then they were on the other side, facing London.
"Would you care to get off my shoulders now? We have to change out of robes before anyone sees."
"Yes. Thank you Lily." The two of them changed out of robes and into muggle clothing.
"Where exactly are we going Severus?"
"It's not much farther. This way." He pointed to the opposite end of Charing Cross Road. On the far side Lily could see an old manor embellished in ivory and alabaster stone. She knew that was where he meant.
They walked a little farther without a word. He was still sobering up and she didn't want to leave him alone just yet.
"I'm sorry Lily." He said looking at the concrete ground. "I didn't mean to shout at you before."
"That's fine." She replied, not really listening. She was thinking of James again. Severus could tell this but didn't really want to bring it up. He didn't know they had separated.
They walked for about a half an hour, not speaking. It was a little awkward for both of them, until Lily finally broke the silence.
"Severus. You never told me what you did for a living."
He tensed up. The question had arisen. He loved Lily but he could never tell her what haunted his dreams at night, and the jarring pain he felt on his arm every time the Dark Lord called. He bit his lip and tried to think of a response.
"Research mostly." He replied. "I can't really say." He thought that sounded good enough.
"I understand. You don't have to tell me." She knew he had a secret, but she could tell he was nervous and didn't want to further upset him.
"That's it, over there."
"Wow, this is where you live? The ministry must be paying you well." She was half sarcastic when she said this.
"Well actually I am staying with a friend at the moment. I am currently looking for a place to live."
"Oh really? How fortunate for you."
They approached the long driveway to the house and Severus struggled a bit getting through it because it was on a hill. He leaned on her again for support. When they approached the door she knocked on it, and he released her. The door opened and the fact that met them gave Lily such a sense of shock that she had an obvious look of disgust on her face.
"You!" She shouted, and then caught herself, but the damage was done.
"Well if it isn't the beautiful Mrs. Potter. You look more and more like a frigid whore every time I lay eyes on you. I think it's the hair; you should really do something about that. It might really loosen you up."
"I think you are confusing me with your whore of a wife. That is, the frigidness, not the hair."
He ignored her.
"Well I see, Lily, that you have brought our dear friend home. I assume you met him at the pub he frequents." A sly smile crept across his face. "Was the happy wife trying to forget her marriage troubles? Or, better yet, was she trying to bide her time while that handsome husband of hers was fucking the student? They looked so happy last time I saw them--"
"That's enough Lucius!" Severus snarled. He then looked at Lily in disbelief as she looked at the floor. He hated James to begin with, but what he did to her, he felt, was unforgivable. She, however, was not going to let that comment slide, but she couldn't think of a thing to say. The ball was, unfortunately, in his court.
"Oh, and I was so distraught to hear about your little friend. What was her name again? I guess it wasn't important enough for me to remember. But hey, just another casualty eh old girl?" He lightly punched her shoulder. She shivered.
"Touch me again, Malfoy, and you and your family will never see the light of day again. I have enough on you to make my actions seem to be another 'casualty' as you so bluntly put it."
"And a threat too. How surprisingly out of character." Lucius said, chuckling. "So tell me, how is you living friend, Miss Renton?"
"Oh, do you mean Mrs. Black?" she asked, cocking her head slightly to the side. "Blissful, if you must know."
"I am happy for her."
"Oh, I'll bet you are." She said. The tables were turning in her favor. He looked heated. "She asked about you the other day."
"Did she?"
"Yes. Not that I would know, I think she was simply thinking out loud. We were eating and she got terrible indigestion, and said it reminded her of you." Lily said smiling. "Something about the desire to vomit must have triggered your face."
"Well Evans, it is so nice chatting with you, but I have a real life, and I can't be bothered with you little threats and pointless inquisitions." He said, while his eye twitched. "Now kindly get off my porch. I don't want your Mudblood odor to linger much longer. Severus, come in when you are finished talking to this filth. Who knows, maybe you'll get lucky, this one's got a broken heart." He laughed at his comment as she shut the door on both of them.
"Lily I am so sorry." Severus replied.
"Malfoy? You're staying with Malfoy?" She was livid. Malfoy and Lily always hated each other. It all started sometime in fourth year, from indifference to dislike to absolute hatred. But it was simply because of how protective she was.
"Only for a little while. I just have to get everything in order."
"Yes well I have to go. I just might vomit if I stay here any longer."
"Thank you Lily, for bringing me back here. You didn't have to."
"I'll tell you one thing Severus. You are so lucky that I care about you."
She turned and left him there on the porch. She didn't say goodbye or wave. When she got to the end of the driveway she apparated back to the Leaky Cauldron. Her mind was swimming with insults she could have thrown at Lucius but didn't. She was infuriated, but also deeply hurt. He had hit a nerve, and it annoyed her that she let him get to her. She was also wondering how he knew about Katrina. The Daily Prophet never said they were friends, and they never stated a name. She knew he worked for the dark side, but she didn't know how to get him, and she had other, bigger fish to fry.
She reached her room and looked at the clock. It was four thirty in the afternoon. She noticed a letter on the windowsill and grabbed it. She ripped open the letter and read it.
*Dear Lily,
Nicole and I want to invite you to dinner tonight. We haven't seen you in weeks and we miss you. Dinner is at 6. This is Remus by the way. (Nicole wants to speak to you alone though, I don't know why?)*
She threw the letter down on the bed and glanced out the window. She missed Remus and Nicole and he was right, they hadn't even spoken in weeks. She felt a little guilty about it too, but they did live far away. She was sure that James or Sirius had told them about what happened anyway. She had two hours to get ready. She sighed. Sometimes having three weeks off was unnerving for her. She was restless and wanted some action. She also wanted James. She still couldn't sleep, especially now. She wanted to be held and touched and loved. She ran her fingers through her hair, got up and plopped down on the bed. She would try to sleep now, if only for a couple of minutes.
She drifted off to sleep at 4:45pm but her dreams were in another time and place. She dreamt of a boy. A boy who looked shockingly familiar. A boy with piercing green eyes....and a small, lightening bolt shaped scar on his forehead.
(Ok I know I said that James and Lily would get back together this chapter, but I needed to introduce two very important characters, Lucius and Severus. I needed to develop more, but next chapter they will, I promise. I want them to just as much as you. I will also introduce Remus, Nicole, and Peter. PLEASE REVIEW!)
