Sorry for not updating, but I went on holidays. But now I'm back, and this is the new chapter. It's so close to the end now!!! Only one chapter to go after this one!
Chapter 15 – A Fragile Mind.
Lily was so excited about seeing her mother the next day that she practically jumped off the train and, after grabbing her bags, rushed through the barrier. More than a little uncharacteristic of Lily Evans, but she was being so unpredictable lately that James, watching her from a distance, didn't know what to think.
Mrs Evans didn't know what to expect. She wanted Lily to
come back completely cured, but she knew that that just wasn't possible. She
had seen Lily go through so many things that she thought it just wasn't
possible.
After her husbands' jail sentence, Mrs. Evans had fallen into the same pattern
that she had all through school and before she even met him. When she was
Lily's age (14, going on 15) she had been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder,
caused by a "chemical imbalance of the brain". In other words, at 14, she was
not able to live a normal life because she had manic depression. She
experienced amazing highs in which she felt invincible and could accomplish
anything, and the next day incredible lows in which she just couldn't get out
of bed.
At that time, not many people knew or understood anything about Bipolar, and it
made life incredibly hard. Of course, Mrs. Evans was on medication, but her
fragile state of mind had soared downwards after the acid throwing incident.
She was just glad she hadn't seen any of her symptoms in Lily. Yet.
She knew doctors at a magical hospital had tried to do something with Lily's
face (with her permission, of course), and she knew that Lily was supposed to
be in very good care, but Lily was a funny person, and for all she knew she
could have sunk even lower. So you can imagine her shock when a happy,
beautiful girl with an acid-free face ran up to her and hugged her. Was this
really her child?
The deep darkness of her life took a definite upturn when Lily leant into her
ear and whispered the first words she had heard from her in over three years.
"I'm so happy to see you!".
"I'm so happy to see YOU!" she replied, and hugged her even tighter.
Please don't let my daughter be insane she thought.
James was having a fairly mediocre Christmas with his father
so far. After exchanging gifts under a plastic muggle tree his father had
bought, they'd had a bacon and egg breakfast, and his father had to rush off
somewhere. Something about trading some of his assets.
So, James was left to spend Christmas with the house-elves. How fun.
Not that he didn't like their company. It just wasn't
the same as the Christmases they used to have together as a family. Before his mother had died.
James didn't want to think about that, so he turned his mind to Lily instead.
How much he was looking forward to building a clean, fresh relationship with
her. How much better it would be than the last awkward attempt. So imagine his
shock when he received an owl from Albus Dumbledore telling him that Lily had
been re-admitted to muggle hospital and that he had better get there fast.
~*~
Mrs. Evans looked over at her daughter adoringly. How much better she had
seemed. James, her "make-over" and letting her feelings out in her little green
notebook must have all contributed to help her recover.
Lily was sitting on the couch, reading a novel whilst looking up every now and
again at the television. A movie had come on, and Lily sat up to watch it. They
both smiled, enjoying the mother/daughter experience
they hadn't had since that fateful day they had decided to bake cookies. For
once, they both felt happy.
So imagine Mrs. Evan's shock when Lily burst into tears and ran out of the
room. She looked at the television and understood why.
For on the screen one actor was throwing acid onto another.
When Lily's mother finally found her in the cupboard under the stairs, Lily was
such a wreck that she knew she had no choice but to take her back to the
hospital.
~*~
James was in a frenzy. What had
happenned to Lily? Had she tried to kill herself? Or had her father come back
or something? He didn't know, so by the time he managed to floo to the right
place and follow Dumbledore's directions to the hospital, he was beside himself
with worry.
"What happened? Am I too late?" he yelled as he burst into a waiting room. Mrs.
Evans looked up at him (since she was sitting down).
"I don't know," she said quietly. "But," she continued, a tear leaking down her
cheek "I think she's suffered a mental relapse."
James was in shock. How could this have happened? She was so much better! So
had gone so far!
A doctor came out of the room he assumed Lily to be in and James pounced. "Are
you the healer? What's wrong with her? Will she be alright?"
The doctor looked at him strangely. "I'm the doctor, and I need to speak to
Lily's parent or guardian," she said looking over her shoulder at Mrs. Evans.
James turned around to see Dumbledore comforting her. After a few minutes, they
all went into an empty room.
"Lily, as you all know, is very delicate and fragile," the doctor began. "She,
despite what you may be thinking right now, has improved dramatically. However,
her recovery has been impaired by … something else,"
"Mrs. Evans hung her head low, dreading what was to come.
"Lily genetically, may have inherited possible mental diseases, but until now,
no actual conditions have surfaced. But," she sighed. "It is likely that due to
a high amount of stress and pressure, this has triggered the onset of Bipolar
Disorder."
Mrs. Evans started shaking. Dumbledore hung his head. James had no idea what
was going on.
"Bi-what?" he asked confusedly.
"Bipolar disorder. Have a leaflet," said the doctor,
handing one out to all of them containing information about the disease. After
reading it through, James asked
"So what do we do?"
"Well," the doctor started "There is still a possibililty she can be saved. She
will be put on anti-depressants, and with the right amount of love and care
from family and friends, we could avoid this altogether,"
Mrs. Evans looked relieved. Dumbledore smiled. James still had no idea what was
going on.
"It means," picked up Dumbledore "That if you keep her out of stress and
trouble, and care for her properly, she can grow out of this stage and never
have Bipolar in full,"
"Oh…" was all James could say. Once again, he would get the chance to save
Lily. It put his plans for their relationship a little out of joint, though.
Then he hit a rock.
"But..But.." James stuttered.
"She told me she didn't want me around her anymore,"
"I think she'll be needing you for a little while
longer," said Dumbledore, smiling to himself.
And that was how Lily spent the remainder of the Christmas holidays with James.
It was quite easy for James to get the permission from his
father to stay at Lily's house over the holidays. His father was so busy that
he would have said yes if James had asked his permission to get engaged.
As James entered the tiny house with his trunk in tow, he looked around, trying
to find some light. Even though it was midday,
and both Lily and her mother knew he was arriving, the blinds were all shut and
there wasn't a sound all throughout the house. James dragged his trunk into a
corner, and came to a door, which he opened without making a sound – one of the
many advantages to being a Marauder.
Inside a small room slept Lily Evans, where everything was dark. There were no
pretty ornaments, no posters on the wall, no nothing. It was a place where you
could lose yourself in your sorrows. James knew what his job was.
'Rise and shine Lily!" he yelled cheerfully, using his wands to bring the
blinds up, so that the bright winter sun shone through onto her bed.
Lily whimpered and put her head under her pillow, trying to avoid the fact that
she was being made to get up and face the day.
But in the end it wasn't so bad. James left her to get dressed, cooked her a
hot breakfast as well as he knew how, and then dragged her out for a walk,
pointing out butterflies and birds to her. On occasion, she smiled,
a smile that James fell in love with all over again.
When he took her back, Mrs. Evans had finally got up, but when they came in,
she had an odd expression on her face. It was a mixture of sadness, and fear.
"Lily," she said, in a voice not above a whisper. "Your father, he-he," she
stopped to swallow.
"He got released on parole today."
"He WHAT?!" So Lily was still speaking, James mused. She hadn't said anything when they went on their walk, but for the most part, James was just shocked. How could that have happened?
"But … I thought he had life sentence," said James, trying to get his head around the fact that Lily's worst nightmare, the man that had ruined her life, was coming back.
"He appealed," said Mrs. Evans shortly. "And he's coming over for dinner tonight.,"
Lily stood rigid, for almost a minute, then ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.
James was left facing Mrs. Evans.
"Why," she whispered. "Why does he want to come back?"
"Mrs. Evans," said James, jolting her out of her thoughts. "How is he allowed to come over for dinner?"
"He shouldn't be," she said, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes "But he is. Apparently he has every right to see his daughter. He wants to see Petunia too, but she's staying with a friend. He says," here, she sniffled. "That he's sorry and wants to make it up to us. To become a family again. I know I'm weak. I know I'll take him back. I know that I can't stop him hurting my girls again. Why? Hasn't he done enough damage?"
James didn't know what to say, so he slipped back into Lily's bedroom. She was lying on her bed, sobbing her heart out. She too was wondering what she had done to deserve this.
James crept forward and sat on the bed, and put a hand on her shoulder. Feeling his touch, she turned around and said, in a heartbroken voice
"I have no choice, do I? I can't run away any more. I have to face up to him…" she continues sobbing. James tried to comfort her the best he could.
"But it could be a good thing, Lily,"
"How could it be good? He'll do it again!"
"Or, he could be truly sorry for what he did and never hurt you again,"
Lily suddenly sat up.
"You're taking his side, aren't you? You can't do that! Not after all this! How could y-" James covered her mouth with his hand so he could talk.
"Of course I'm not taking his side, Lily, you know whatever happens, I'll always side with you! Okay, let's look at the worst case scenario. Your dad comes over tonight a psycho who wants to do the same thing again. I have floo powder, so we connect your house and take your mom and escape from him at Hogwarts. We put him in St. Mungos, and he never bothers us again. Simple as that," he clarifed.
"But what if it isn't?" she whispered.
"We'll take it as it comes. We're in this together, you know," James felt closer to her than ever before. There was no denying his feelings for her hadn't died down.
"Okay," she sniffled, and James took her back in the kitchen to get something to eat. He had a feeling that whaever the outcome of tonight, it would shape Lily more than anything else. This was her biggest chance to move on, accept what had happened and start up a new life, with James, her mother, and everyone else who loved her at Hogwarts. Or, she could sink even deeper. James just had to hope for the best.
Next chapter out very soon! Keep your eyes peeled as well, when I finish it I will start posting my new fic. It's called "Everybody's Fool!"
Thanks for reading!
