Edited 1/31/05 Weird spacing fixed.Pointless Japanese removed.Minor corrections.

Disclaimer: Even the story is only partially mine.


Cat, Rat, and Dog

Chapter 1: Discovery Channel

Souma Kyo knew that in a household like his, the Discovery Channel was a dangerous thing. Even when there were only relatively tame programs on. Like ones on domestic cats. Especially ones on domestic cats. Kyo had come to this conclusion in a rather odd way. That is, it would be odd anywhere else. It could almost be considered normal in the residence of Souma Shigure. But the Discovery Channel was definitely the one to blame for this.

"Hold his legs tighter, Shigure! He'll run away!"

"He's struggling too much!"

Oh, yes. The Discovery Channel was to blame for his current predicament. Along with two sadistic cousins. It would explain why he was being held upside-down on the roof of his house, his arms restrained by Yuki, his legs by Shigure. Apparently, they had seen a show on the accursed Discovery Channel in which a cat had been held upside-down-which would explain his current position-and dropped-which would explain his future position. The aforementioned cat had flipped over and landed on its feet. Yuki and Shigure wanted to see if Kyo could do the same. In his human form.

Luckily for the pair-unluckily for Kyo-the one member of the household who would protest with a fervor worthy of an animal rights activist was currently at work. Kyo's only consolation was that Honda Tohru would be home soon. Just not soon enough.

"One, two."

Yuki and Shigure started to count in unison while swinging their cousin back and forth to build enough momentum to send him over the edge of the roof. Not that either would particularly care if he still hit the roof, but they were looking forward to this little experiment and didn't want to see Kyo escape.

"Three!"

Kyo was suddenly propelled over the edge of the roof. He looked up at the expectant faces of his cousins. Oh, yeah. He should probably turn soon, shouldn't he? His torso twisted at the waist pointing his face and shoulders towards the fast- approaching ground. His lower body soon followed in a similar spin. Kyo's feet swung down under him, moving his body from a horizontal position to a vertical one. His feet hit the ground with a thump and he allowed himself to crouch to the ground to better absorb the impact. His hands soon followed and he pushed himself up.

He took off at a dead run as soon as his upper body was far enough away from the ground to allow it. Voices drifted towards him.

"Hmmm. It worked."

"Did you not think it would?"

"Hoped, is more like it."

Kyo would later realize that in that after his fall he was in a panic-induced, instinct-driven state. And that his instincts had been telling him to run. These insights would be little comfort for the embarrassing memories of the next moments would bring.

Kyo didn't pay any notice to what was in front of him as he ran. If allowed to continue he might have run straight into-or possibly through-a tree. As it was, there was an obstacle that he did fail to avoid. It-or rather she-collapsed under the force of the escaping Souma. This resulted in two things. One, both force and resistance fell to the ground. Two, Souma Kyo was now a rather adorable orange cat.

Honda Tohru had been walking home from a rather harrying evening at the hospital that was her place of employment and had nearly reached the Souma house when Kyo had run into her, forcing both the ground, accompanied by a puff of orange smoke.

Her experiences with the Souma family explained the smoke, but left many possibilities for Kyo fleeing the property.

She glanced down at the cat lying on her. He was barely moving; only the rapid rise and fall of his furry orange stomach revealed him to be alive. She gently picked him up in one arm, her other grabbing his clothes and her bag in the other. She stood up and continued her walk back to their home.

When Tohru got closer to the house she was able to get a better idea of what Kyo had been running from. Shigure and Yuki could be seen standing on the roof, talking. She could only make out bits and pieces of their conversation, but "experiment" and "Discovery Channel" repeatedly reached her ears.

"I'm home!"

Their heads turned at her call. They both smiled broadly and called out a hearty "Welcome home!" just slightly out of sync. Shigure's face broke into an even wider grin when he saw what she held in her arm.

"Hey, Tohru-kun!" he yelled, " Could you come up here? And bring Kyo-kun!"

Something in Shigure's smile and tone of voice would have made anyone else uneasy, but not the naïve Tohru. She smiled and set down her bag and Kyo's clothes before climbing the ladder to the roof one-handed.

When she reached the roof, Shigure offered a hand to her to pull her the rest of the way up. He then took the still unconscious cat from her arm and shook him not so gently. Kyo was quick to recover and within a few seconds he was fully aware of his surroundings and company. Enough so to realize that struggling would be a good thing.

"Hey! Let me go, you stupid dog!" he cried.

"What are you doing, Shigure?" Tohru's voice joined Kyo's in protest as the novelist approached the edge of the roof.

"Oh, don't worry, either of you. It's just a little experiment. And you did so well last time, Kyo," reassured Shigure.

Again, Kyo and Tohru's voices joined each other.

"Experiment?"

"Last time?"

Shigure reached the edge of the roof. He twisted the struggling Kyo in his arms so his stomach faced the sky and his back was facing the ground two stories below. Then he let go.

Tohru's cries reached Kyo's ears as he fell. Again he noticed the faces above him, again he twisted, and again he landed on all four paws.

The orange feline turned and glared at his older cousin.

"You are SUCH an asshole, you know that!"

More screams reached his ears as he changed back to human.


Shigure was faced with a very angry Kyo-who resembled a hissing cat, complete with raised hackles-and an admonishing Tohru. Neither of these particularly bothered him.

"Would you please tell me why you dropped Kyo off the roof. Twice," said Tohru, with a reproachful look towards Shigure.

"Well, it was on TV that cats always land on their feet, and well, I wanted to see if our kitty could too," explained Shigure, keeping his carefree and unrepentant smile on his face, "And Yuki helped, so why aren't you questioning him?"

"Because it was your idea," interjected Yuki.

Tohru sighed.

"Please just don't do anything like this in the future," pleaded Tohru.

Kyo glared at Shigure and Yuki. He would get even for this. The only question was how.


A/N: I hoped you enjoyed that. Can anyone guess what Kyo is going to do? Yuki will be the first to be tortured, just so you know. I would appreciate feedback so please review. If I don't get more than zero reviews I won't update.