A/N: And now, for something old! Or something like that.

This chapter will be based on the season 1 episode; "Teacher's Pet", though there will be a lot of big differences (it will be much more different than chapter 1 was as compared to its real counterpart). Also, that note that this story will not be based only on W/T will still ring true later on, but this one has ended up putting them in centre stage once more. Honestly, I couldn't help it, but hopefully no one minds.

I'd also like to note that I've come up with a full outline on the first season of this story. As I'm sure that most of you would probably rather not have me put it here, I will not, nor will I put it in my profile (it's long enough already!), so if you want it, you can E-Mail me (leafsfan99@rogers.com), and I'll pass it along.

So, now with that all out in the open, lets go on to the story!


Spoilers: Season 1 Episode 4 "Teacher's Pet". It goes off from the canon a bit, but a lot of the story is obviously taken directly for it, but I bet you already figured all that out.

Disclaimer: I don't think Joss et al. is dumb enough to waste his time on some lowly creature having fun with his world that he so obviously messed up, so I'm not going to say anything to save me from that. However, because I respect the owners of the site, I'd just like to mention that I got a lot of the information for my stories from www.buffyworld.com/. Thank you guys for your wonderful transcripts, even if the fight descriptions suck! :)

Summary: When a substitute teacher gets under Xander's skin, Willow tracks the pair. But is it her jealousy towards the teacher that has her tracking them, or is there something else?

Legend: Just as the last 2 chapters, it's completely 3rd person, so nothing of note.





Buffy: The Vampire Slayer – My Way!


Season 1: Once Again, From The Top


By: David Armstrong (With Help From Joss Whedon)


Episode 3: Hacking: 101






It was night. The bronze was packed, as per usual, but there was something different.

Inside, in the middle of the building, there were a couple people eyeing each other. Well, at least they both looked like people to the naked eye.

Across the room, Willow Rosenberg noticed the pair, and noticed something that not many others in the room could. One of the figures was a vampire.

Getting up, Willow grabbed a stake out of her pocket, and walked toward the pair. As she got closer, she noticed the other person, who was human, and felt a lump in her throat.

It was Tara, looking a little worse for wear, and extremely frightened. Running the last few strides, Willow blocked a punch that was thrown by the vampire, causing him to turn his head.

At that moment, Willow backed off, but instead of having a fearful look on her face, she just smiled, and looked down at the vampire's chest. He followed her gaze, noticing a stake lodged where his heart was, then poofed.

Looking at Tara, Willow grinned.

"T-thanks," Tara managed to sputter out.

"No problem," Willow returned, walking up to Tara and extending her hand to help her up.

"You're so-" Tara paused, seemingly contemplating if she should continue. "Beautiful."

Looking at Tara, Willow just grinned some more. As they continued to gaze at each other, their faced ended up moving forward a little more each second until...

"Willow! Wake up!" Xander whispered.

Opening her eyes, Willow looked at him, somewhat confused. "What?"

"You were daydreaming. Plus, that drool on your mouth isn't very...flattering," Xander said, choosing his words carefully.

Willow's eyes went wide. "I-I was daydreaming?"

The whole class, at that moment, turned to stare at her. Willow, in turn, glanced around the room, nervously grinning.

"Thanks for sharing that, Willow," the teacher, Dr. Gregory, said.

"I-I'm sorry," Willow apologized, sheepishly.

Mr. Gregory nodded, and continued on with his lesson. Willow knew that if she wasn't normally such a top-notch student, she'd have been given a detention for a week. However, that did little for her psyche.

The dream had her confused, not to mention had her somewhat freaked. Who dreams of a girl who has only known you for a week? Especially when you're a girl!

Suddenly, the lights came on, and Willow had to blink a couple times to focus.

"Now, if you read the homework you should know the two ways that ants communicate," Dr. Gregory said.

Suddenly, Willow started to hyperventilate. Xander glanced over, worriedly.

"Are you ok, Will?" He asked.

"I-I don't remember the homework," she whispered to him.

"You didn't read it?" Xander whispered back, somewhat shocked.

"N-no, I read it, I just...Don't remember it," Willow said, closing her eyes, and almost willing the teacher to pick someone else.

"Miss Summers," Dr. Gregory said, causing Willow to sigh with relief, before she started to worry once more.

"Buffy never reads her homework," Willow whispered again, adding in a small groan for good measure.

"Ways that ants communicate," Buffy started, stalling for time. Upon the teacher's nod, she looked at Willow, rather discreetly, hoping for some help. "With other ants?"

"From the homework," Dr. Gregory prompted, sighing.

Upon Willow's headshake, Buffy inwardly cringed. "Umm...Sound?"

As the room chimed with muffled laughter, Willow turned and placed her head on the table.

"Why won't you work?" She asked herself quietly.

"The correct response was 'touch' and 'smell', Miss Summers," Dr. Gregory replied after the laughter had stopped.

Suddenly, the bell rang, and everyone gathered up their books.

"Alright, chapters six through eight by tomorrow, people," Dr. Gregory said, before adding, towards Buffy; "Can I see you for a moment?"

Getting up, Xander looked apologetically over at Buffy, before gathering up his books. Looking over his right shoulder, he was surprised to find no one there. Looking to his left, he noticed Willow, still with her head down on the desk, book open.

"Willow?" Xander said. "Class is over. Let's go!"

Looking up, Willow looked around the room, before her gaze reached Xander's. Jumping up, she grabbed her books and quickly started towards the door.

As the pair walked out the door, Dr. Gregory turned his attention to Buffy.

"I gather you had a few problems at your last school?" He asked, keeping his attention squarely on the slide in his hand.

"Well, what teenager doesn't?" Buffy answered with her own question.

"Cut school, get in fights, burn down the gymnasium," Dr. Gregory filled in, much to Buffy's dismay. "Principal Flutie showed me your permanent record."

"Well, that fire, I mean, there was major extenuating circumstances," Buffy tried, futilely, to defend herself. "Actually, it's, uh, kinda funny!"

"Can't wait to see what you're gonna do here," Dr. Gregory added in.

"'Destructo Girl'. That's me," Buffy mumbled to herself.

"But I suspect it's gonna be great," Dr. Gregory continued, to Buffy's surprise.

"You mean, 'great' in a bad way?" She asked, trying to figure it out.

"You have a first-rate mind and you can think on your feet," Dr. Gregory reasoned. "Imagine what you could accomplish if you actually did the..."

"...The homework thing," Buffy finished for him, following his train of thought.

"The homework thing," Dr. Gregory agreed half-heartedly. "I understand you probably have a good excuse for not doing it. Amazingly enough, I don't care. I know you can excel in this class, and so I expect no less. Is that clear?"

"Yeah," Buffy replied with as much spunk as she could. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, be smart," Dr Gregory replied, scaring Buffy a little with the philosophical insight. "And please don't listen to the principal or anyone else's negative opinion about you. Let's make 'em eat that permanent record. Whadaya say?"

"Okay! Thanks," Buffy responded as sincerely as she could.

"Chapters six through eight," Dr. Gregory reminded her as she walked out the door.

Turning back to his slide, Dr. Gregory continued his work. Suddenly, the door in behind him opened. As silently as possible, the thing walked up to Dr. Gregory, and without so much as a scream, grabbed him around the neck with a pair of large insect claws.





That night at the Bronze was rather uneventful for Xander. He'd spent the first couple of minutes dancing around, looking like a boozed-up teenager to the rest of the crowd. He followed that by lamely attempting to make small body-language talk with the live singer for the night who, unsurprisingly, wanted nothing to do with him.

So now, walking towards the club's bar, where at best he could get a root beer, he was predictably bored and feeling low.

"Seven, including Cheryl," Xander heard to his right. Immediately he recognized the school football star Blayne. "I'll tell you, though; her sister was lookin' to make it eight!"

"Ooo, Cheryl's sister? The one in college?" The person sitting next to Blayne asked. Xander didn't know him, but with the death rate among them, he was likely on the football team, too.

"Home for the holidays and lookin' for love," Blayne replied, nodding and grinning. "She's not my type, though. Girls really gotta have something to go with me."

Xander couldn't stop the words that flowed out of his mouth. "Something like a lobotomy?"

The two guys have him a look of annoyance. Finally, Blayne spoke up; "Xander. How many times you score?"

"Uh..." was all Xander could muster. The question had really caught him by surprise.

"It's just a question," Blayne mocked.

"Are we talking today or the whole week?" Xander finally said. The response only produced a snicker out of the pair.

Suddenly, he noticed three girls coming down the stairs just a few steps away. It was show time!

"Oh! Duty calls!" Xander said, walking away.

Walking up to the 3, Xander put her arms around the two closest.

"What are you doing?" Buffy asked, mostly confused, though a little startled, too.

"Work with me here," Xander replied, a little too casually. "Blayne had the nerve to question my manliness. I'm just gonna give him a visual."

"Oh. Uh, that's..." Tara started, somewhat nervous with Xander's arm around her shoulder. She couldn't find a good word to finish the sentence, so she let it hang. "Who's Blayne?"

Meanwhile, Willow noticed Tara's nervousness, and got a sudden urge to slap Xander's arm off of her. As it lifted, her mind replaced it with a seething jealousy, wishing that it was Xander's arms around her. It just didn't have much zest to it, though.

"I don't believe it," Buffy suddenly said in a trance-like state, startling Willow a little.

"I know, and after all my conquests," Xander replied, oblivious to the tone in Buffy's voice.

Xander's shoulders slumped as he watched Buffy wander away.

"Who's that?" Tara asked, looking towards the person Buffy was walking towards.

"Oh, that's just..." Xander started. He was quickly cut off, though.

"That must be Angel. I think," Willow interrupted.

"Um, yeah," Xander replied, a little startled.

"The guy that warned her about the vampires?" Tara asked. She hadn't heard much about him, but he seemed to be a good guy.

"Well, he's buff," Xander said, taking a long look at Angel.

"You think he's buff?" Willow questioned, somewhat confused. This guy didn't look that great.

"He's a very attractive man," Xander replied. "How come that never came up?"

Willow just stared at him. This was too weird.

Meanwhile, Buffy had just made it up to Angel.

"Well, look who's here," she said, somewhat sarcastic.

"Hi," Angel replied, simply, yet still somewhat cryptically.

"I'd say it's nice to see you," Buffy continued. "But then we both know that's a big fib."

"I won't be long," Angel replied.

"No," Buffy replied coolly. "You'll just give me a cryptic warning about some exciting new catastrophe, and then disappear into the night, right?"

"You're cold," Angel replied, concerned.

"You can take it," Buffy replied, oblivious to his tone of voice.

"I mean," Angel replied, taking his jacket off, giving it to her. "You look cold."

As Angel draped it around her shoulder, Buffy couldn't help but feel a little awkward.

"It's a little big on me," she said, a little nervous. Her eyes quickly found themselves on Angel's arm, and she noticed a scar. "What happened?"

"I didn't pay attention," Angel replied quite simply, as though it explained everything.

"To somebody with a big fork?" Buffy asked, somewhat confused.

"He's coming," Angel said, ignoring Buffy's comment.

"The fork guy?" Buffy tried again.

"Don't let him corner you," Angel continued. "Don't give him a moment's mercy. He'll rip your throat out."

"Okay, I'll give you improved marks for that one," Buffy replied sarcastically. "Ripping a throat out, it's a strong visual, it's not cryptic."

"I have to go," Angel replied, walking away.

"Sweet dreams to you, too," Buffy whispered into the air.





"That's all he said? Fork guy?" Giles asked.

"That's all cryptic guy said. Fork guy," Buffy replied, walking alongside her mentor.

It was early morning, and Buffy was a little agitated that she was forced to spend it checking in with Giles with some useless information.

"I think there are too many 'guys' in your life," Giles said, chuckling a little, which drowned out the lack of response from Buffy.

Their walking somehow found Giles and Buffy in front of Willow, who was startled as they came up. Lucky for her, her new-found company was too wrapped up in their own conversation to notice.

"I'll see what I can find out," Giles continued, as business-like as he could. He proceeded to look up. "God, every day here is the same!"

"Bright, sunny, beautiful. How ever will we escape this torment?" Buffy replied, sarcastically.

As Giles turned to leave, Xander walked up to the group.

"Good morning," Giles tossed out before continuing on his way.

"Mornin'," Xander returned towards his retreating figure. "Guess what I just heard in the office? No Dr. Gregory today. Ergo, those of us who blew off our science homework aren't as dumb as we look."

"What happened, is he sick?" Buffy answered quickly, curious.

"They didn't say anything about being sick," Xander replied. "Something about missing."

"He's missing?" Buffy asked, a little unnerved.

"Well, let me think," Xander replied, going through what he overheard in his mind again. "Um, the cheerleaders were modeling their new short skirts that kinda got..." Upon their look, he stopped himself. "Yeah! Yeah, they said missing."

After a prolonged silence from Buffy and Willow, Xander spoke up again. "Which is bad?"

"If something's wrong, yeah!" Buffy replied.

"He's one of the only teachers that doesn't think Buffy's a felon," Willow added.

"I'm really sorry, I'm sure he'll..." Xander started, before trailing off. "I, uh, huh..."

Confused, Buffy and Willow followed his gaze. Upon seeing the woman, Buffy looked back at Xander, not surprised. On the other hand, Willow found herself somewhat transfixed on the figure, too. She quickly shook it off before Buffy glanced towards her, giving her a sly grin.

"Could you help me?" The woman, apparently a teacher, asked Xander.

Xander looked around, not quite believing she was asking him. "Uh, yes!"

"I'm looking for science, 109," the teacher said.

"Oh, it's, um..." Xander started. His mind was passing blanks, though. "I go there every day."

Looking towards Willow and Buffy, Xander found himself desperate. "Oh, God, where is it?"

"Hi! Blayne Mall," came a voice from behind the teacher. "I'm going there right now. It's not far from the varsity field where I took All-City last year."

"Oh, thank you, Blayne!" The teacher replied, walking off with him.

"It's funny how the Earth never opens up and swallows you when you want it to," Xander said after the pair had left.

"Be careful what you wish for," came a new voice, this time behind Xander. "On a Hellmouth, it could come true."

"Tara! Hi," Willow greeted, a little bit too upbeat for her own good.

"Hey. I-I was just in the library," Tara replied. "Giles said he was going to do a bit of research. There's only so much I can take."

Upon seeing the gloomy look on Buffy, Tara sat down next to her. "What's up?"

"Oh, I'm sure it's nothing," Buffy replied, trying to keep a little bit of a hopeful tone.

"Dr. Gregory is missing," Xander finally filled in.

"Oh, the one that didn't think you were a felon...?" Tara asked, before it clicked in. "Umm, I-I'm sure he's ok."

"We're on a Hellmouth," Buffy replied sadly. "Chances are a vampire got him on his way home last night. And that is probably best case scenario."

Suddenly, Willow got up. "Uhh, I just, umm, remembered I've got...that thing to do, so, um, I'm going to go do that."

As she walked off, the others stared after her, shocked.

"Ok, what just happened?" Xander asked.





As third period began, Buffy and Willow entered the science room at the same time. Surprisingly, Xander was already there. That was a rarity in itself.

As Buffy turned to go to her seat, her eyes spotted something on the ground. Stopping to pick it up, she studied Dr. Gregory's glasses.

"What is it?" Willow asked from behind, unsure of what Buffy was up to.

"Dr. Gregory dropped his glasses," Buffy replied, curiously. "Why wouldn't he pick them up?"

Willow shrugged her shoulders, and Buffy proceeded to place the glasses on the desk.

Buffy, as always, spaced out during most of the lesson, only catching a few words. However, to her left, both Xander and Willow were attentively watching Miss French.

Although Willow was probably paying a little more attention than normal, barely ever looking down at her notes, she could get away with it. After all, why did Miss Brainy herself have to write anything down?

On the other hand, Xander was practically drooling as he watched, and made eye contact (of many different sorts) with Miss French throughout the lesson. Though the lesson wasn't sinking in, he at least seemed interested in it for once.

"The California Mantis lays her eggs," Miss French said, continuing her lesson. She looked pointedly at Xander before continuing. "And then finds a mate to fertilize them. Once he's played his part, she covers the eggs in a protective sack and attaches it to a leaf or twig out of danger. Now, if she's done her job correctly, in a few months she'll have several hundred offspring."

Miss French paused for a minute, walking back towards her desk. "You know, we should make some model egg sacks for the science fair. Who would like to help me do that after school?"

All the male's hands shot up very quickly, which came as no surprise to Buffy. What did, at least slightly, was that Willow seemed to be contemplating putting hers up too.

After a few moments of contemplation, Willow decided against it. She was all for learning, but this woman was giving her the creeps, for a few different reasons. For one, she was a little too attractive for a teacher, and plus, Willow was somehow actually finding her to be attractive.

Looking around, she made eye contact with Buffy, who seemed to be fighting off a grin. Nervously, Willow returned the grin, turning her attention back to the lesson.





It was lunch time, and Willow, Buffy and Xander were spending yet another one together in the cafeteria. However, for a change of flavor, the topic of conversation was not Buffy's slaying career, but rather a substitute teacher.

"I wonder what she sees in me," Xander mused, looking at his reflection in a serviette holder. "It's probably the quiet good looks coupled with a certain smoky magnetism."

Willow looked at him uncertainly, unsure of how to respond to it. Turning to Buffy, she caught a little twinkle in her eyes, and smiled.

"Miss French," Xander continued. "You two are probably a little young to understand what an older woman would see in a younger man."

"Oh, I understand," Buffy said, a little bit of sarcasm in her voice.

"Good," Xander replied, completely missing the undertone.

"The younger man is too dumb to wonder why an older woman can't find someone her own age," Buffy continued. "And too desperate to care about the surgical improvements!"

"Surgical improvements?" Xander asked, confused.

"Well, he is young," Willow said, looking at Buffy.

"And so terribly innocent," Buffy agreed.

"Hey, those who can, do. Those that can't laugh at those who..." Xander stopped his insightful moment, before finishing lamely; "can do."

A quick moment, and Blayne had gone through the whole cafeteria, his tray filled.

"Well, that was just weird," Willow said to herself, watching Blayne eat rather sloppily at his table.

Suddenly, there was a scream from inside the kitchen, and Buffy, Xander and Willow all bolted to see what was up.

There was no strange demon, which relieved Buffy for an instant, until she looked inside the fridge that Cordelia, who was still screaming, looked into.

"His head! His head! Oh, my God, where's his head?" Cordelia screeched.

With her eyes wandering a little more than she liked, Buffy noticed a nametag. 'Dr. Gregory.'





That night, Buffy headed out, reluctantly taking Tara along with her.

She, along with Willow and Xander, had a long discussion which ended up involving possible enemies of Dr. Gregory, where he was killed, where his head was and the 'fork guy'.

Plus, there was the warning from Giles to not go out tonight. She knew she couldn't stay in, and despite the best efforts of Tara, was now walking down towards Weatherly Park, the last probable location of 'fork guy'.

"I still don't think w-we should be out," Tara said. She'd been out a number of times with Buffy, but normally it was just routine patrol. "I-I mean, we don't know what this guy is like."

"'Fork Guy'," Buffy replied. "Pretty obvious what he's like, which is more the reason why we should be trying to track him down tonight."

Suddenly, a homeless man walked by the pair, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Shouldn't be out here at night, ladies. Dangerous," He muttered, wandering down the pathway.

Watching the man walk off, Buffy noticed a manhole cover in his path, and made her way over. Cautiously, Tara followed, keeping a bit of distance between Buffy and herself.

Lifting the cover, Buffy quickly found herself engaged with the 'fork guy'. Despite landing a few blows and dodging a few herself, Buffy found that she didn't have much of an advantage on the vampire.

Behind her, Tara began a spell, hoping to assist Buffy. Before she could finish, though, her concentration was broken as a group of policemen appeared on a hill, shouting loudly.

With the distraction, 'fork guy' managed to find an opening, and ran off. Sighing, Tara followed Buffy as they attempted to track him. Reaching a fence, the two watched in horror as they saw the vampire stand behind a woman, who Buffy immediately recognized as Miss French.

Before Buffy could shout a warning, Miss French turned her head slowly, getting a good look at 'fork guy'. Instead of running for her life, screaming her head off, Miss French grinned at him, almost daring him to attack her.

In return, 'fork guy' frowned, before turning around and jumping back into the manhole, quickly pulling the cover on.

All Buffy and Tara could do was stare in shock.





"T-that was Miss French?" Tara asked, walking home.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded, still a little unnerved. First Dr. Gregory and now Miss French. Could the school teaching staff get any weirder?

"I'd risk a bet and say she's not what she seems," Tara said confidently.

"I'd hope not," Buffy responded. "If she is just an ordinary substitute teacher, then perhaps I should go to college after all."

"I'd guess some sort of shape shifter," Tara replied. "And you'd need to go to University first, then Teacher's College."

"Oh, then forget it," Buffy said after a moment's thought.

"I thought so." Tara replied, following Buffy through the window of their house.





"You went out hunting last night?" Giles asked, walking into his office.

"Yes," Buffy said, impatiently.

"When you assured me you wouldn't?" Giles continued in a scolding tone.

"Yes, I lied," Buffy replied hastily. "I'm a bad person, lets move on."

"Did you see someone with a fork," Giles asked.

"More like a jumbo claw," Buffy answered, pointedly.

"Oh. Well, uh, at least you're not hurt," Giles offered.

"And we saw something else," Buffy continued. "Something much more interesting than your average run-of-the-mill killer vampire."

"'We'?" Giles asked.

"Oh. Um, Tara and me," Buffy replied. "S-she wouldn't let me go without her. She's very stubborn. I've learned to just let her come for the ride. Anyway, do you know Miss French, the teacher that's subbing for Dr. Gregory?"

"Yes, yes. She lovely. In a, a common, extremely well proportioned kind of way," Giles answered, a little distracted.

"Well, we're chasing claw guy, and Miss Well Proportioned is heading home," Buffy continued. "The claw guy takes one look at her and runs screaming for cover."

"He what?" Giles asked, shocked. "Ran away?"

"He was petrified," Buffy replied.

"Of Miss French?" Giles asked once again, unsure if he was hearing right.

"Uh-huh! So I'm an undead monster that can shave with my hand," Buffy responded. "How many things am I afraid of?"

"Not many," Giles answered. "And not substitute teachers as a rule."

"What I figured," Buffy nodded. "So what's her deal? Tara said something about a shape shifter?"

"Perhaps," Giles said, deep in thought. "It might be a good idea to keep an eye on her."

"Then I'd better get off to class," Buffy replied, heading off.





After another run in with Principal Flutie, and a long session with a councilor that Buffy was positive she didn't need, she was finally heading towards science. She just hoped that she didn't miss much, in a few different senses.

Coming up to the door, Buffy peeked in. "Great, a pop quiz."

Without warning, Miss French straightened up, and, without turning her body, turned her head around to meet Buffy's eyes.

Extremely surprised, Buffy took a couple of seconds before she finally moved away from the window.





"No, I'm not saying she craned her neck. We're talking full-on Exorcist twist," Buffy said to Willow, walking into the library after school.

"Ouch!" Willow replied.

"Which reminds me," Buffy continued. "How come Blayne, who worked with her one-on-one yesterday, isn't here today?"

"Inquiring minds want to know," Willow said, walking to the computer.

"Any luck?" Buffy asked Giles as he came out of his office.

"Um, I've not found any creature as yet that strikes fear in a vampire's heart," he responded, a little downcast.

"Try looking under 'things that can turn their heads all the way around'," Buffy said, helpfully.

"Nothing human can do that," Giles replied.

"No, nothing human," Buffy said, thoughtfully. "There are some insects that can. Whatever she is, I'm gonna be ready for her."

Upon that, she headed towards the stairs.

"What are you going to do?" Giles asked, a little confused.

"My homework," Buffy replied, seriously, walking into the shelves.

"She does homework now?" Tara asked, walking in. "Giles, what have you done to her?"

Suddenly, Buffy ran back towards the railing. "Where are the books on bugs?"





They'd all been searching through resources for a half an hour when Buffy appeared once again.

"Dig this: 'The praying mantis can rotate its head 180 degrees while waiting for its next meal to walk by,'" Buffy read. "Ha!"

Upon a long silence, Buffy felt a little indignant. "Well, c'mon, guys. Ha!"

"Well, Miss French is a little big," Willow replied. "Ya know, for a bug."

"And she is, by and large, woman shaped," Giles agreed.

Tara, who was sitting at the end of the table, started to piece together the few points they had. At that moment, an unknowingly Buffy helped.

"Okay," Buffy started, trying to get her head around everything. "Factoid 1: Only the praying mantis can rotate its head like that. Factoid 2: A pretty whacked-out vampire is scared to death of her. Factoid 3: Her fashion sense screams predator."

"It's the shoulder pads," Willow nodded, before furrowing her brow. Shoulder pads?

"Exactly," Buffy confirmed, startling Willow.

"She is a shape shifter," Tara said, speaking up.

"That, or...or a perception distorter," Giles replied, a little shocked at Tara's knowledge. "On a helpful note," he continued, "I had a chum at Oxford, Carlyle, advanced degrees in entomology mythology."

"Entoma-who?" Buffy asked, stupidly.

"Bugs and fairy tales," Tara replied, impatiently.

"I knew that," Buffy quickly said.

"If I recall correctly, poor old Carlyle, just before he went mad, claimed there was some beast..." Giles started.

"Buffy, 911! Blayne's mom called the school," Willow interrupted. "He never came home last night."

"The boy who worked with Miss French yesterday?" Giles asked, trying to recall.

"Yeah," Willow replied, contemplating the new information. "If Miss French was responsible for...Xander's got a crush on a giant insect!"

"Okay, don't panic," Buffy tried to reassure Willow. "I'll warn him, but I need you to hack into the coroner's office for me."

"Hack?" Tara asked, a little confused.

Not hearing, or choosing to ignore the comment, Willow turned back to Buffy. "Autopsy on Dr. Gregory," She answered. "I've been trying to figures out these marks that I saw on his corpse... I'm thinking they were teeth. And, uh, these cuddlies should definitely be brushing after every meal."

Looking back to Giles, Buffy continued. "And you were saying something about a beast?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," he replied. "I just need to make one transatlantic telephone call."

Turning to walk into his office, he stopped suddenly, and looked over his shoulder. "Um, this computer invasion Willow is performing on the coroner's office," he started. "One assumes it's entirely legal?"

"Of course," Willow replied.

"Entirely," Buffy said at the same time.

"Right," Giles replied, self-consciously. "Wasn't here, didn't see it, couldn't have stopped you."

"Good idea," Buffy replied.

As Giles left to make his phone call, and Buffy went to find Xander, Willow and Tara found themselves alone with slaying business for the first time.

After a few moments, Tara couldn't stand it anymore, and got up.

"Hacking?" She asked, suddenly turning around. She wasn't sure why she did, but now that she had, Tara was in too deep.

"Y-yeah," Willow replied, only half-catching Tara's words. She'd done this a lot, and she always found herself lost in it. "Using a computer to enter a heavily secure site to get information. I've done it a lot..."

Willow stopped, as her brain finally came up for air and realized the conversation she was having.

"You don't mind, do you?" Instantly, Willow slapped herself mentally at her question.

"I-I," Tara started, trying to figure out if she did. Pretty quickly, she realized she didn't. "No, I don't."

"Oh, 'cause I don't really do much when I hack," Willow said, starting to babble. "I mean, I usually hack into library web sites. Oh, but I only do it to see what kind of books have been checked out, and by whom. I don't do government sites, nuh uh..."

"C-could you show me?" Tara asked tentatively, before shaking her head. "Un-unless it's too difficult. I-I mean, I've never used a computer other than to type up a couple of essays."

"No," Willow said, before shaking her head. "I mean yes. I-I mean, sure, I could show you. I-it takes patience, though. I remember once, it took me an hour to get into one site. I was about to give in when I finally got into it..."

"Cool," Tara replied, cutting Willow off again. "I-I'm, um, game."

Smiling, Willow moved over, and Tara grabbed a chair.





About 10 minutes later, Buffy returned, her head hung slightly.

"Well?" Willow finally asked, not liking the tension that had suddenly developed upon her return.

"I..." Buffy trailed off. "I don't think he believed me. He's...he's heading home, though, so I guess Miss French didn't have a chance to do anything to him."

"Well, that's good," Tara replied with a little more effort than she wanted. She could sense something was wrong, and she knew that Buffy could, too.

"No," Willow suddenly said. Shaking her head, she spoke up again. "S-something's not right. Tara, do you think you can do this?" Willow asked, motioning towards the computer.

"I-I don't know," Tara replied, tentatively. "Why?"

"I want to keep an eye on Xander," Willow replied. "He could get himself in trouble. I-I've known him longer than you guys, so I think I could keep pace with him better. I mean, I always found him when we played hide and seek."

Raising an eyebrow at her, Buffy shook her head. "I don't know."

Looking back at Willow, Tara could see the determination and resolve. Besides, who could resist a pretty face like hers?

"I-I think I can do it, if I have enough time," Tara said. With a smile, she added: "And if not, perhaps Buffy and I could go break into the morgue."

Getting up, Willow grabbed her backpack. "Good luck," she said to Tara. Strangely, she felt like bending down and giving her a kiss, but she shook it off quickly.

"Thanks," Tara replied. Watching Willow leave, she nervously got to work on the hacking. She'd noticed a strange buzz that Willow seemed to get while doing it, so Tara tried to find that zone.





Willow felt pretty silly.

She'd spent the past hour, at least (she'd forgotten her watch, somehow), looking through a window, trying to keep an eye on Xander. He seemed to be rather busy, though the reason why was, for the moment lost on Willow.

The only time she stopped from her little spy game was when Xander stepped into the shower.

It was now pretty dark out, and though Willow had brought a cross and a few other supplies, she still didn't feel totally safe.

Now, she was standing beside a window near the front door, trying her best to remain out of sight while still able to see in.

Suddenly, Xander, dressed in a rather flashy button-up shirt and pair of pants, walked towards where Willow was looking through. Turning his head, Xander seemed to call up the stairs before hastily throwing on a pair of shoes, and, as Willow heard rather than saw, headed outside.

"I knew it," Willow said under her breath. "Miss French-bug-woman probably set up a date tonight."

Peaking out around the corner, Willow saw Xander nervously stumble towards the sidewalk. Being careful, Willow began to follow.





About thirty minutes later, Willow continued to follow Xander, who she'd figured out was a little too distracted to notice her. She still kept a distance, but didn't worry too much about hiding.

"Haven't we been down this street already?" Willow asked herself, noticing a couple familiar houses. She doubted her earlier thought about a date now, thinking that Xander was just getting some fresh air. Knowing his parents, she wouldn't be heavily surprised.

However, just as she was thinking about giving up the stalking assignment, Xander crossed the street, took a deep breath, and walked up to a house.

This time, Willow found a large tree to hide behind, peering out towards the house very carefully.

She saw Xander reach out and pull his hand back a number of times before he finally very quickly reached out a hand and pressed the house's doorbell.

Upon catching a glance of the occupant, Willow quickly turned and started to pant nervously.

"She's just a bug. A really big bug, but still a bug," Willow told herself. However, as it turned out, that wasn't what had her so nervous.

Looking cautiously around the tree again, she noticed the door was closed, and that beyond a couple lit candles, there was barely any light inside the house.

Carefully walking up to a window, she tentatively peered in. Immediately, she caught sight of Miss French, who was in a pretty stunning, and revealing, black dress.

"Predator, indeed," Willow said, a little dazed at the sight. She recognized the instant feel of jealousy. However, what she didn't know was who it was directed at, Miss French or Xander?

Suddenly, Willow realized that Xander was with Miss French, who, pretty obviously, wasn't who she seemed. Turning quickly, Willow ran off in the general direction of the school.





Meanwhile, at the school, Tara was beginning to think plan B might be the better one.

"Where is the morgue in this town, anyway?" She asked, somewhat seriously.

"I dunno," Buffy replied, keeping her eye on the screen.

Once again, Tara typed in a few letters. Hitting 'enter', she was shocked when the computer beeped, and a new screen came up.

"Wow, you did it!" Buffy said, beaming. "Now, we need to find Dr. Gregory's report."

Clicking a few times, Tara found 'Dr. Paul Gregory' and clicked it. Immediately, a set of pictures and a few written reports popped up.

"Eww," Buffy spat out, pretty much speaking what Tara was thinking. "And colour. Man, these guys are quite morbid."

Looking at the book that Buffy had gotten, Tara reluctantly looked back at the screen.

"The teeth match up," she said, cringing. "That confirms it."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "Now, how do we..."

She was cut off by a rather out of breath Willow. "Xander's at Miss French's house. And I think she's planning something. She looks...Well, she doesn't look like a teacher."

Getting up, Buffy walked into Giles' office. Giles was just hanging up his phone as she entered.

"Xander's with Miss French," Buffy told him. "We need something, fast!"

"Dr. Ferris Carlyle spent years transcribing a lost pre-Germanic language." Giles began. "What he discovered he kept to himself until several teenage boys were murdered in the Cotswold's. Then he went hunting for it."

"'It' being?" Buffy asked impatiently.

"Uh, he calls her a She-Mantis," Giles replied. "This type of creature, the Kleptes-Virgo, or, or virgin-thief, appears in, in many cultures. The Greek sirens, the Celtic sea maidens, who, who tore the living flesh from the bones of, um..."

"Giles!" Buffy interrupted. "While we're young!"

"Uh, well," Giles said, somewhat embarrassed. "Basically the, uh, the She-Mantis assumes the form of a beautiful woman and then lures innocent virgins back to her nest."

"Virgins?" Buffy repeated. "Well, Xander's not a, uh... I mean, he's probably..."

"Gonna die!" Willow interrupted, growing a little hysterical.

"Okay, okay," Buffy said, attempting to calm everyone down. "So this thing is breeding and we need to get to it and snuff it. Any tips on the snuffing part?"

"Uh, Carlyle recommends cleaving all body parts with a sharp blade," Giles replied.

"Slice and Dice," Buffy said.

"Well, whatever you do," Giles warned, "it had better be certain and swift. This beast is extremely dangerous."

"Well, your buddy Carlyle faced it," Buffy reasoned, "and he's still around."

"Yes," Giles agreed. "In a straitjacket, howling his innards out day and night."

"Okay, Admiral, way to inspire the troops!" Buffy scolded.

"Sorry..." Giles replied.

"Tara. Do you think you could do a quick spell?" Buffy asked, looking over at her sister.

"What kind?" She asked, curiously. Buffy always had the strangest ideas, especially when slaying.

"Bat sonar," Buffy replied. "It makes its entire nervous system go kaplooey. Plus, they eat mantises."

"Sure," Tara replied, getting up. "Just make sure you have a backup plan. We don't know what kind of abilities this 'she-mantis' has."

Grabbing a large blade, Buffy stared at it pointedly. "I've got a backup plan."





Walking down the street, Willow pointed at a house. "That one. They're in that house."

"Ok," Buffy replied. "I'll just go up to it..."

"Buffy! Watch out!" Tara's warning cut her off.

Spinning around, she found a fist flying into her face. Stumbling backwards, Buffy tried to regain her bearings. Finally looking up, she found herself staring at 'claw guy'.

"Damn. Almost forgot about you," Buffy muttered as she continued to stare him down. "Willow, something from that bag of goodies would be nice now!"

Nervously, Willow began fishing in the sac that they brought along with weapons (not to mention bug spray), and grabbed the first solid object she could find. Whipping it out, she blindly tossed it in the general direction of Buffy.

With quick reflexes, Buffy grabbed what turned out to be a blade, and, with one fluid motion, swung it at 'claw guy's head.

Surprising Buffy, the 'claw guy' ducked, missing the first blow, then quickly blocking a second swing towards his midsection. Buffy quickly regrouped before swinging the blade once more.

This time, she connected, but she didn't get any flesh. The sparks that flew off 'claw guy's claw were mesmerizing. With everyone distracted, Buffy finally saw her chance, and quickly swung at 'claw guy's head. This time, it sliced through perfectly, and the vampire burst into ashes, covering the sidewalk.

"Well, that was a nice warm-up," Buffy said, as she continued to walk.

Reaching the door, Buffy didn't hesitate at knocking it down. Instantly, she heard some muffled pleas from the basement, and hurried towards the door.

After a few moments, Buffy turned around. "I can't get it open. We'll have to find another way!"





Xander couldn't believe it. He was going to die during sex. And even worse, it was with a huge monster bug!

"Kiss me!" The bug chanted, laughing. "Kiss me!"

"Can I just say one thing?" Xander replied, extremely freaked. "HELP! HELP!"

Suddenly, a window just above the pair smashed open, and to Xander's momentary relief, Buffy slid through.

"Uh, hey, o-over here," Blayne started yelling. "Hello! In the cage!"

Pulling in her bag of supplies, Buffy stood up and turned towards Miss French, who was now in her rather disturbing bug form.

"Let him go!" She said, forcefully.

Grabbing up the cans of bug spray, Buffy headed towards Miss French, getting set to spray.

In behind her, Willow and Giles followed, each going to release the two guys.

"Get them out of here!" Buffy shouted over her shoulder. Turning back around, she raised the two cans of bug spray, and pointed them at Miss French.

For a moment, Miss French was a little woozy, but she quickly shook it off, causing Buffy to panic.

"Tara! Anytime now!" Buffy shouted out the window.

Suddenly, a small light shone through the window, followed by a loud screeching sound. Grinning, Buffy turned back to Miss French, who was attempting to cover her ears with a pair of her legs.

"Bat sonar," Buffy told her. "Makes your whole nervous system go to Hell. You can go there with it!"

Grabbing her blade, Buffy quickly began swinging at the bug, chopping off a bunch of different body parts. Once she was satisfied that it was dead, she turned back to the others, still holding the blade.

"Well, I... I'd say it's deceased," Giles put in, rather obviously.

"And dissected," Willow added, somewhat grossed out.

"You ok?" Xander asked Buffy.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, looking back over at the corpse that was Miss French.

"Just for the record," Xander started. "You were right, I'm and idiot, and God bless you!"

Looking around the room, Xander nodded towards them, "And thank you guys, too!"

"Yeah, really," Blayne quickly agreed.

"Pleasure," Giles replied, rather awkwardly.

"I'm really glad you're okay," Willow spoke up, looking pointedly at Xander. "It's so unfair how she only went after virgins."

"What?" Xander asked, chuckling nervously.

"I mean, here you guys are," Willow continued. "Doing the right thing, the smart thing, when a lot of other boys your age..."

"Flag down on that play, babe," Blayne interrupted defiantly. "I am not..."

"Well, you see," Giles cut in. "That's the She-Mantis' modus operandi. Uh, she only preys on the pure."

"Well, isn't this a perfect ending to a wonderful day!" Xander said, annoyed.

"My dad's a lawyer," Blayne replied, a little scared. "Anyone repeats this to anybody, they're gonna find themselves facing a lawsuit."

"Blayne!" Xander exclaimed. "Shut up!"

"I don't think it's bad, I think it's really sweet!" Willow said, looking around the room. As Xander grabbed the blade, she backtracked. "It's certainly nothing I'll ever bring up again."

Walking over to the eggs, Xander looked at it grossly, before hacking away at them.





Sitting in the Bronze, Buffy sat, enjoying the peacefulness.

Suddenly, she sensed something behind her, and turned to find Angel smiling at her.

"I heard a rumor there was, uh, one less vampire walking around making a nuisance of himself," He said.

"There is," Buffy nodded to him. "Guess I should thank you for the tip."

"Pleasure's mine," Angel responded.

"Course, it would make things easier if I knew how to get in touch with you," Buffy continued, staring suggestively at him.

"I'll be around," Angel replied, cryptically.

"Or who you were?" Buffy asked, a little confused by Angel's actions.

"Well," Buffy continued. "Anyway, you can have your jacket back."

"It looks better on you," Angel replied, turning back into the crowd. All Buffy could do was stare after his retreating figure.

"Oh boy!" Buffy muttered.





The next morning, during first period, Willow walked quietly into the library. She quickly caught sight of Tara, and grinned.

Tara, meanwhile, was very caught up in the book she was reading. Emily Dickinson was one of her favourite authors, and it got her away from the realities of this world.

Suddenly, someone pushed a sheet of paper in front of her face. Reading it over, Tara looked up at Willow, a little surprised.

"I-It's a 'first hack' award," Willow explained, a little nervously. "Buffy told me you got into the coroner's office. I thought it deserved some sort of recognition, and this just seemed to fit."

Looking back at the certificate, Tara smiled. "I love it!"

"O-of course, you can't hang it up anywhere," Willow replied, chuckling a little. "But, but if you'd like me to frame it, I could."

"I..." Tara started, looking up and giving a grin to Willow. "It's fine like this. I'll put it in my binder."

Sitting down beside Tara, Willow looked at the book she was reading, and smiled. "Emily Dickinson? Cool!"

"Yeah," Tara replied, turning back to it. Instead of trying to continue a conversation, Willow decided to join her, and read the page, smiling blissfully.





The End





A/N: Wow. Took me almost 2 weeks to finish that. I like it, though.

Next on my list for this series will be another remake, this time of Episode 5 "Never Kill a Boy on the First Date." However, before I do that, I'll do chapter 3 of 'Flashback' for the same reason as why I did chapter 2 of this, to keep me off the altering bandwagon.

Oh, and also, merry belated Christmas and a Happy New Year to all my faithful (and not so faithful) readers!

Thanks, and happy reading!