Scene Fourteen
(We now see many members of the Guard of Edoras bearing the casket of the deceased Jaredred. King Kevoden watches the procession go by, looking severely heartbroken. Erynwyn is weeping openly, while Kendalf, Jimagorn, Megolas, & Brimli simply stare. Kendalf is bowing his head in respects; Megolas is softly saying an oath of respect in Elvish; Brimli has her helmet off and her head bowed in respects; Jimagorn looks very expressionless, stroking himself fondly on the chest. Finally, when the Paul-bearers place the king's son within his tomb, Kendalf speaks out)
Kendalf: (In a solemn voice) May the spirit of Jaredred, son of the king of Edoras, rest and find peace. (Looks to Jimagorn) I believe that Jimagorn, son of Jimathorn, wishes to speak for the deceased?
(Jimagorn looks at the wizard with wide eyes; Kendalf gives the other a reassuring nod. After clearing his throat, Jimagorn steps upon a large rock; everybody looks at the speaker, waiting for the eulogy to be delivered)
Jimagorn: (After a long time) What can I honestly say about Jaredred, son of King Kevoden? Obviously, I did not know him well enough to say he was a kind man-never knew him well enough to say he was a jerk. But from this Poloroid I received from the pamphlet of the funeral-(Pulls out the picture) I can honestly say that he was pretty good-looking-though, not as much as I.
(Megolas & Brimli look at one another and roll their eyes, while Kendalf keeps staring at Jimagorn)
Jimagorn: (After stroking himself upon the chest fondly) So, to substitute for my lack of knowledge towards the deceased, I shall quote a simple Bible verse-one that has been passed down from generation to generation: (Clears his throat and begins to speak solemnly) Jeremiah was a bullfrog; was a good friend of mine. I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine; and he always had some mighty fine wine. I'm sayin', "Joy-to the world; all-the boys and girls. (Waves around at the crowd) Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, and joy-to you and me."
(There is a great hush over the crowd-they are obviously too shocked to speak or trying to fully comprehend the other's words. Jimagorn looks satisfied, however, and steps down; he looks at Kendalf)
Jimagorn: (With a confident shrug) I think that went really well.
Kendalf: (Furrowing his brow at the other) Yes-quite blasphemous.
Jimagorn: (With a smile) Thanks.I pride myself upon it.
(The camera now catches the beautiful flower of Simbelmynë, clutched tightly in grieving King Kevoden's hands. He begins to speak as if speaking to nobody; as if trying to fully comprehend the situation himself)
King Kevoden: Simbelmynë. For years, it has covered the tombs of my fore- bearers.
(King Kevoden drops the flower, and we watch its graceful descent to the ground. Once it has landed, the camera shows King Kevoden standing next to a recently dug grave-the tomb of his deceased son. He looks behind him, where we see Kendalf standing and watching the scene in a stone-faced way- clutching to his staff and the breeze ruffling through his white robes)
King Kevoden: (Looking very grim as he speaks) .now it shall cover the grave of my son.
Kendalf: (In a small tone) It was a nice funeral, you have to admit- Jaredred looked at peace.
King Kevoden: (In a grim voice) Yes, it was nice.(In a dark tone) till Erynwyn started singing that damn song of mourning! It sounded like somebody was talking in tongues! (Looks back at the graves before him) Alas that I live to see these times-when the young die and the old linger.and linger.and linger. They do nothing but sit in their studio apartments, reeking of prune juice and of cottage cheese-remaining the same way, because they don't seem to give a damn anymore. All that seems important is that they watch their episodes of "Price Is Right" or "Wheel of Fortune"; failing to see that they have watched the same episode just the other night, but watching it anyways because they might find something they missed. They are intent in watching their soap operas-(Tears coming to his eyes as he thinks of it) quaffing their glasses of Ensure, calling it a meal because it's good for their bowels.
Kendalf: (In a sympathetic tone) Jaredred's death was not of your making. (Awkwardly) Though-it could have been avoided if you had paid more attention to what was going on around you, maybe heeded the warning he had given to you a few weeks before.(Coming back to his sympathetic tone) but other than that, it wasn't your fault!
King Kevoden: (Looking at Kendalf with tear-filled eyes) No parent should have to bury their child.none.
(Overcome with grief, King Kevoden begins to weep in despair. He falls to the ground on his knees, still weeping for the loss of his son; perhaps believing it in his heart that he could have prevented it. Kendalf watches the scene with a simple expression of pity upon his face. Desperately, he seeks some comforting words to the king)
Kendalf: (Confidently) Jaredred was a strong man-his spirit shall find the Hall of your fathers easily.and there, he will live his life in peace and we will all go on with our lives. Well, except you-you'll be wallowing in the stench of grief for as long as you can count.
(King Kevoden gives a great howl of dismay at this; apparently, the wizard's words did not help. Finally, Kendalf has had enough; he furrows his brow and grunts)
Kendalf: (In a rather hard voice) I need a beer! I'm goin' back to the Golden Hall, Kevoden-you're really bummin' me out! Gees! This place is so depressing!
(And with that, Kendalf makes to go back to the Golden Hall, but then he looks in the distance and sees something. King Kevoden looks up as he realizes that the wizard is still there, and looks in the distance as well. We see a horse in the distance, trotting to a stop a short distance from the borders of the city-upon closer inspection, we see that there are two riders: Matothain & Deeda from the Westfold. The riders look exhausted, and Matothain is teetering dangerously on the horse. We go back to Kendalf & King Kevoden, who are watching the riders in a bemused fashion)
Kendalf: (In a simple tone) They are children-they have ridden far.
King Kevoden: (Bemused) Do you think they are seeking aid?
(At this, we see Matothain fall off of his horse in the distance. Kendalf & King Kevoden look at one another in surprise)
Kendalf: (Practically) Uh-yeah, I think they're looking for help.
(Now we see Matothain & Deeda eating ravenously in the Golden Hall, Erynwyn nearby; she has apparently speaking to the children. Jimagorn, Megolas, & Brimli sit at different tables in the hall, watching the scene intently. King Kevoden sits on his throne, looking very stressed, and Kendalf sits nearby. Erynwyn looks towards her uncle grimly)
Erynwyn: (Getting up and walking towards her uncle) They had no warning! They were unarmed! (Bitterly) Now the Wild Men are running-well-wild throughout the Rohan, burning everything as they go! They take cot, beech, crop, and scarecrows!
Deeda: (Looking at Erynwyn desperately) Where's Mama?
Erynwyn: (Shushing the child and putting a comforting hand upon the child) Now, shut up, little girl.shut up.
(We go to Kendalf & King Kevoden. Kendalf is looking very serious about the situation-King Kevoden has his face in his hands in frustration)
Kendalf: (Seriously) This is but a taste of what Andraman has planned for all of Rohan.and Andraman was never a good cook. So either he's made a horrible error, or he's a sick, twisted freak that's planning to take everything you've got, regardless of what you may think. You have to fight him-ride out to meet him-
(Kendalf puts a hand on the king's in comfort. King Kevoden looks at what Kendalf is doing, raises his eyebrows quizzically at the wizard, and Kendalf quickly takes the hand away)
Kendalf: (Seriously) Keep them away from your women and children-'cause let's face it: Andraman's a pretty sick dude!
Jimagorn: (Looking at King Kevoden seriously and offering help) You have two thousand good men riding north as we speak. Méomer is loyal to you-and so are his Riders of Rohan! He will come for you if you seek his aid.
King Kevoden: (Getting up and stepping from his throne in agitation) But they are three hundred leagues from here, by now! We have no way of contacting him! I knew we shouldn't have gotten rid of e-mail during the second age!
Jimagorn: (Furrowing his brow) Well, e-mail or no e-mail, you've got to do something! Stand and fight them off! If you raise an army right now-!
King Kevoden: (Shaking his head immediately) No way! I'm not risking it! Too many risks had been taken-too many lives have been lost; citizens of Westfold, my son, and even that crazy hobo on the street that liked to dance for food.
Megolas: (Practically) Actually, that guy died from natural causes.
King Kevoden: (Exasperatedly) Well, he's dead anyways! And he won't be the only one if we go through this! (Looks at Kendalf seriously) I know what you would have me do, Kendalf-but I will not risk my town to open war!
Jimagorn: (Cool and logical) Open war is coming to you-whether you would risk it or not. Maybe it is best to be caught prepared?
King Kevoden: (Spinning his gaze to Jimagorn and speaking very sarcastically) You know what, Jimagorn, you're right! No! You are! What, you've been here for what-(Looks at watch) five hours? I should consider your words like a private confidant, shouldn't I? I mean-you must know what you're doing, after all! Oh, (Looks to the sky in mock happiness) thank the Lord that Jimagorn has come into Edoras and started issuing orders about the place! Why shouldn't we listen to him, hmm? What in the world could keep us from following his orders? I wonder.(Scratches his face, his finger bumping into his crown. He looks up at the crown, a smile of mock astonishment crossing his lips as he points to it with surprise) What? What's this? Why-it's the crown of Edoras? So-that means that Jimagorn is not the king? Oh my! What an astonishing turnout!
Jimagorn: (Quite coldly, keeping anger in check) What're you getting at, Kevoden?
King Kevoden: (Dropping sarcasm and presenting a cool temperament) The last time I checked, Kevoden was king of Edoras-not Jimagorn, the bearer of the wave. (Points at Jimagorn's ridiculous hair-flip)
(Jimagorn glares at the king. Angered by the king's insult to his beloved hairstyle, Jimagorn makes to stand up and show the king exactly what he's made of. But he knows that it would do no good fighting with King Kevoden, so he remains sitting; but his glare doesn't change. A tense moment passes as King Kevoden & Jimagorn stare at one another angrily. Suddenly, a great belch is heard, and both figures turn to see Brimli sitting at a table a few feet away, watching the scene intently over a tall mug of ale. When both Men look at her, Brimli blinks at both of them in expectation)
Brimli: (In a simple tone) Oh, ignore me! (Gesturing for them to continue) Go on! Resume your arguing! Go ahead! As you were!
(Both Men do not move, but resume staring incredulously at the Dwarf. Brimli looks disappointed)
Brimli: (Crestfallen) Oh, come on!
Kendalf: (Deciding to break up the scene) And what would King Kevoden assume we do at this time?
(We see King Kevoden ponder for a moment, really thinking hard. Then, the scene abruptly changes and we see Brimli, Jimagorn, Megolas, Erynwyn, Kendalf, & King Kevoden in a big Conga line; Matothain & Deeda are playing on bongo drums to serenade the scene. Jimagorn is wearing a huge sombrero, and looking like he's having a blast)
Kendalf: (Rather awkwardly) Uh-Kevoden, don't you think we ought to do something about the reign of terror going to be released by Andraman?
King Kevoden: (In a defensive voice) In a moment! I spent over five weeks a brainless zombie-I need to live, don't I?
Jimagorn: (In an enthused tone) You wanna know what sounds really good right now? Nachos! Let's fix some nachos!
Megolas: (Angrily-speaking to Jimagorn behind her) You wanna know what sounds even better right now? Getting your hands off of my butt!
Jimagorn: (Abruptly) Oh! Sorry! I thought I was grabbing your waist.
Megolas: (After a few minutes of waiting, speaking angrily) They're still there! Jimagorn: (Awkwardly) Sorry! I'll get 'em off! (Smiles mischievously as he continues to dance in the Conga line)
(Now we see Commander Awry shouting out orders to the towns people in the square. He is a big man, with black hair and clad in metal armor-an example of military stature. He wears a belt of many weapons)
Commander Awry: (In a deep, commanding voice) By orders of the king, we are to flee to Helm's Deep! Take only what you need! Make haste! We leave before daybreak tomorrow!
(We see Brimli, Megolas, & Jimagorn following Kendalf to the stables)
Brimli: (Angrily) Helm's Deep? They're running away and hiding, when they should be standing and fighting!
Jimagorn: (Gently) King Kevoden is only doing what he believes is best for his people.
Kendalf: (Grimly) Still, there is no way out of that ravine. Kevoden is walking into a trap.
Jimagorn: (Frustrated) You know what, Kendalf, I'm getting really tired of you always contradicting me! It's really pissing me off!
(At this point, the four reach the stables. Kendalf walks inside briskly, the others having to walk fast in order to keep up. Kendalf is speaking rapidly as he moves to Shadowfax)
Kendalf: Andraman's not going to lie quiet-if he hits, it'll be hard. (Stops in front of the gate where his horse is being kept, leans upon it wearily, and speaks grimly to Jimagorn) Kevoden is a good man, but I fear for him. You need to make sure that Kevoden stays on his feet, Jimagorn. The defenses have to hold!
Jimagorn: (In a whining voice) They do? But, I don't think they can hold for long!
Kendalf: (Firmly) Jimagorn.
Jimagorn: (Angrily, folding his arms irritably) All right, fine! The defenses will hold!
Megolas: (In a desperate tone) So, wait a moment! You're putting Jimagorn in charge of keeping track of Kevoden! Kendalf, why can't you do it?
Kendalf: (Going inside the gate) Because, I have to ride out and get some more help!
Megolas: (Looks from Jimagorn to Kendalf) So-wait a tick! You're leaving him (Points to Jimagorn) in charge? Are you insane?
Kendalf: (Furrowing his brow) No, I'm leaving the best man for the job!
Jimagorn: (Defensively to Megolas) Hear that, Megolas-I'm special!
Megolas: (To Kendalf) You can't be serious, Kendalf!
Kendalf: (Angrily) I am serious, Megolas! You listen to Jimagorn while you're on the road! You three have stuck together for a long time, and that union is going to have to remain strong for a while longer! We cannot let Rohan fall! Look out for one another-(Casting a look at the three others) all of you!
(Stubbornly, Megolas & Brimli nod in agreement. Jimagorn touches himself in satisfaction. Kendalf climbs onto his horse and speaks to the three again)
Kendalf: (Clearly) Look for my coming, at dawn of the fifth day; at first light, look to the east. (With a grim smile) Strange-I have lived through over five hundred years, and yet now I have no time.
Megolas: (Nodding in agreement) Yeah-isn't it a kick in the pants?
(Kendalf gives the Elf a brief smile, nods at Brimli, and gives Jimagorn that look of, "Be careful out there and watch out for yourself". Jimagorn nods in understanding, and Kendalf kicks the sides of his horse to make it go. Shadowfax runs from its gate and runs through the stable. But Kendalf bangs his head on one of the overhead beams and is knocked clean from his mount; Brimli, Megolas, & Jimagorn coil back with small squeaks of shock to one another)
Brimli: (In a small tone) That's gotta hurt!
(Kendalf is softly groaning as he lies on the floor of the stable. Then, we see Stable-Boy of Edoras come in; he takes one look at the wizard's form and gives a derisive snort)
Stable-Boy of Edoras: (In an irritable voice) What is it with people wanting to ride inside of the stables?
Kendalf: (In a small voice of pain) Ouuuuuuccccccccchhhhh.
(We now see Kendalf riding out of the stable with speed, clutching a blue ice-pack to his head. The wizard disappears from view as he rides through the gates, his destinations unknown to anyone but himself. We see Megolas, Brimli, & Jimagorn watch him go from atop a high-point in the city)
Brimli: (In a stunned voice) I can't believe it. He left us once-we thought he was dead-he's come back to us, and now he's gone again! This is getting out of control!
Jimagorn: (In a simple tone) I had a strange feeling he wouldn't stay for long-wizards of great and good power never do.
Brimli: (With a small, grim smile) Now it remains to be seen if he'll even come back this time.
Megolas: (Simply) He'll come back; he always comes back.
(Too nervous about the situation as it is, Jimagorn simply nods. We then go to the stables again, seeing many guards trying to wrench out a horse that seems to have been driven mad. Erynwyn is in the stables, occasionally glancing at the situation, but going back to get the supplies. Jimagorn, who is in there looking for something, suddenly sees the situation at hand and decides to go help. He grabs the reins of the horse, and begins to talk to it in Elvish. The horse begins to immediately calm down; Jimagorn begins to stroke the horse fondly, still speaking to it in soft Elvish. Then, we see Erynwyn walk over to Jimagorn, eyes wide in amazement)
Erynwyn: (Still amazed) I've never heard of a Man that could talk in such fluent Elvish-I mean, Stibbons can speak pretty good Spanish, but other than that.(Shakes her head in amazement) that was pretty neat.
Jimagorn: (In a quiet tone) I was raised in Rivendell for a short time.(Darkly) but then Noelrond kicked me out. He put so many damn restrictions on the place! "Jimagorn, don't slouch like that!" "Jimagorn, stop stealing my hair spray!" "Jimagorn, stop touching yourself like that!" (Strokes himself on the chest) He says he cast me out of Rivendell so that I may make a living for myself, but I think he was intimidated by my severe sexiness!
Erynwyn: (With a small shrug) Elves are weird.
Jimagorn: (After thinking about it for a while) No.not all of them.
(Erynwyn looks at Jimagorn quizzically, but Jimagorn has already decided not to tell her about Narwen)
Jimagorn: (After clearing his throat, deciding to change the subject) Uh- so, whose horse is this?
Erynwyn: (In a grim voice) He was my cousin's horse-his name is Prego.
Jimagorn: (Raising an eyebrow at Erynwyn) Prego? Like the pasta sauce?
Erynwyn: (With a shrug) He liked Italian food. (Resuming her grim tune) He was my cousin's warhorse.
Jimagorn: (After looking at it for a while) Let him go-he has seen enough of war. (Erynwyn looks to object, but seems to realize the truth behind his words, and complies. Then, we see the orphanage of Edoras, where Orphans of Edoras are playing inside the complex, laughing and playing. We see a great banner hung upon the ceiling that says, "Horses for Charity!" Then, we see Keeper of Orphanage come into the room, looking severely upset)
Keeper of Orphanage: (In a grim tone) I'm sorry, children. I just got word from the messenger of Golden Hall-Prego has been let back into the wild; it appears as though we will not be getting a new horse this year. We'll have to settle with Jackson.
(The Keeper of Orphanage indicates an ancient, severely stringy looking horse in the corner. Many of the Orphans of Edoras give a cry of dismay. Then, we go to Andraman, who is pacing about his tower room restlessly)
Andraman: (In an ill-tempered voice) Kendalf, the older and most gorgeous one? HA! More like Kendalf the fool! Everybody knows that I am the older and most gorgeous one! Obviously, or I wouldn't have so much power! There! I believe that settles it! So-why am I still contradicting myself? Could it be that I have a small fear of Kendalf exceeding my position? NO! Not at all! I just-er-like to hear myself talk! That's it! That's it! I like to hear myself talk!
(We hear Nrima Wormfeces talk as he enters the room)
Nrima Wormfeces: (In his drawling, slick voice) Of course you do, my liege! After all, how can one possibly contradict himself when the power of Isengard is quite strong?
Andraman: (Sniffing the air and scowling at the other) You stink of horse- and radishes-and feces!
Nrima Wormfeces: (In an irritable tone) Well-good morning to you, as well!
Andraman: (Leaning against a table and speaking to the other seriously) Who else accompanied Kendalf to the Golden Hall?
Nrima Wormfeces: (In a disgusted tone) Only three were with him. There was an Elf-a Dwarf-(Rubs the back of his head at this) and a Man.
Andraman: Anyone of importance?
Nrima Wormfeces: (After pondering about it for a few seconds) None of which I could see.
(Andraman lets out a breath of relief)
Nrima Wormfeces: (With a quizzical look upon his face as he speaks) However, the Man did bear a certain ring, although he was rather shabby in appearance-and he liked to touch himself an awful lot.
Andraman: (Snapping his gaze at the other) A certain ring? What sort of ring was it? What did it look like?
Nrima Wormfeces: (With a sigh) Andraman, if you seek a new ring, I assure you that it can be found online. All we have to do is search under-!
Andraman: (Grabbing the other by the front of his robes) The design, you fool! I do not wish to busy myself with thoughts of buying a new ring! Besides, I already have one-Black Hill's gold, very pretty! But I must know of the design of the ring! Tell it to me!
Nrima Wormfeces: (Seriously, looking off to the side awkwardly) It was of two serpents, one devouring the other, and crowned with fire-with emerald eyes.
(We see Andraman flipping through a thick book, until he finds the page he's looking for-a picture of a ring that exactly fits Nrima Wormfeces' description)
Andraman: (In a cool voice) The Ring of Barahir. So-Kendalf believes that he has found Robsildur's heir, the heir to the throne of Gondor? HA! He is fool if he believes so! (Closes the book with a snap) Jauron will not be alone in his fight to stop such a fate-for it very well could not be.
(We now go to the inside of the Golden Hall, where Erynwyn is setting down a large bundle of things she's been carrying. Inside of the hall, the nobles and guards are gathering up important things for the long trek to Helm's Deep. Erynwyn shuffles through the objects she was carrying, and she happens to find a sheathed sword. Her eyes lighten up in anticipation, and she quickly takes the sword in her hands; after a moment of staring at the sword, she pulls it out. Erynwyn studies the blade carefully, brings it up to her face, and begins to wave it around in battle-like technique. Suddenly, there is a squeal of pain, and Erynwyn turns around to see Edoras Guard#8 clutching their arm, which is bleeding profusely. Erynwyn covers her mouth in shock)
Erynwyn: (Really meaning it) Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! I had no idea! I should've been looking where I was swinging!
Edoras Guard#8: (In an offhand type of voice) No, no! It's my fault! I should've been looking where I was going. (Clutches his arm tighter, for it is bleeding heavily)
Erynwyn: (Anxiously) Are you going to be all right, sir?
Edoras Guard#8: (Waves the other arm as if to say it's no big deal) Ah, don't worry about it, my lady! The cut's not really that deep-I'm just a hemophiliac and I always bleed heavily at simple cuts. (Sways dangerously) Er-I'm gonna go take my medicine now.
(Edoras Guard#8 staggers away, and Erynwyn clutches her sword tightly. This time making sure that nobody is around within striking range, she begins to swing her sword. She is very well coordinated with her moves, concentrating fully on where her swipes occur. Then, as she makes to turn about while raising the sword, the blow is parried by Jimagorn's blade. Erynwyn & Jimagorn stare at one another silently)
Erynwyn: (In a small voice) Where the hell did you come from?
Jimagorn: (Deciding to ignore this) Your hands move quick-you're really talented with the blade.
(Erynwyn slides the blade away from Jimagorn's quickly, and the two stare at one another as if trying to comprehend the other. Finally, Erynwyn clears her throat and sheathes the sword; she tosses it back in the pile she had carried in the hall and concentrates on sorting the pile. Jimagorn watches her)
Erynwyn: (In a quick tone, not even looking at the other) The ladies of Edoras learned a long time ago; those without swords can still die upon them.
Jimagorn: (Looking off to the side awkwardly) But-if you don't have a sword, how can you "die" upon them? I'm confused.
Erynwyn: (Choosing to ignore this) I fear neither death nor pain.
Jimagorn: (With a small smile) What do you fear, my lady?
(Erynwyn looks at Jimagorn with dead seriousness upon her face-it seems like she's surprised somebody actually asked her)
Erynwyn: (In a small tone) A cage.
Jimagorn: (His eyes widening as he realizes this) A cage full of man-eating spiders? I have the same fear!
Erynwyn: (Angrily) No! (Back to her sad tone) A cage, whose bars hold women from the world, until all hope for grace and valor, is gone; a cage that keeps those with true spirit from showing theirs in this world; a cage (A grim smile coming to her face) that holds me until the day I die.
Jimagorn: (His face falling into a look of understanding) You are a Shield- maiden of Rohan-a daughter of kings-and a really hot babe! (Sheathes his sword and smiles at the other) I do not believe that shall be your fate.
(Erynwyn stares at Jimagorn as if seeing him for the first time; it seems to her as if she has finally found somebody who understands her as much as her brother did. But her brother is far away now-who else can she turn to? Jimagorn stares at Erynwyn intently-definitely attracted to her. Finally, Jimagorn shakes his head)
Jimagorn: (Clearing his throat) Well, I'd best get going. (Smiles and gives a small wave towards Erynwyn) Well-good luck with your cage! (Begins to leave)
Erynwyn: (Angrily shouting back at him) Damn it! I don't want a cage!
(We now see King Kevoden getting his things together, accompanied by Commander Awry, who looks rather grim of the situation at hand)
King Kevoden: (As he straps his sword on) Make ready the horses and make sure that everybody is good to go, Commander Awry.
Commander Awry: (In a very forlorn tone) Yes sir.
King Kevoden: (In a serious, valiant voice) Commander Awry, do not fret. We will return!
Commander Awry: (As he leaves the room) Yeah-sure!
(We now see the town's people making their exodus from Edoras. There are the young, the adults, and the old, who can barely walk faster than two steps at a time. The guards are positioned about the group, making sure that nobody is going to intercept them. King Kevoden, Jimagorn, Megolas, Brimli, & Commander Awry ride up front, looking about suspiciously. King Kevoden looks back to the disappearing form of Edoras, wondering if he will live to see the town again. Megolas & Brimli are keeping a good eye out for dangers around them. Jimagorn is fondly stroking himself on the chest, forgetting his problems for but a moment. As the cameras widens out to show the many thousands that are traveling from Edoras, we hear a very unpleasant voice: the Voice of Nrima Wormfeces)
Voice of Nrima Wormfeces: (Sounding just as slick and deceitful as ever) Kevoden will not stay in Edoras-it is weak, he knows this. He will likely have the town flee to Helm's Deep, the ancient safe-hold for so many battles. It is a dangerous route to take through the mountains.
(We now see Nrima Wormfeces conversing to a very foul fellow indeed: Andraman. They are in Isengard, at a table in the great tower. Andraman listens to Nrima Wormfeces' looks as though he is listening intently to his words)
Nrima Wormfeces: (In a logical tone) They will have women.and children with them.
(Andraman suddenly shakes his head as he comes back to reality. Nrima Wormfeces looks at Andraman with a quizzical stare)
Nrima Wormfeces: Uh-my lord, were you listening to me?
Andraman: (Looking at the other for a while) Wormfeces, can I ask you a question: Do you think I'd look better in coral robes or orange robes?
(Nrima Wormfeces blinks dumbly at the wizard for a while, probably wondering if he made the smart decision of coming to Isengard. Then, we go to the underground fortress of Isengard, Andraman & Nrima Wormfeces walking throughout the Orc-infested confines. Andraman walks proudly, his staff thrust forward and looking quite enthused; Nrima Wormfeces looks nothing short of revolted, but he doesn't dare say anything to the wizard about it)
Andraman: (In a powerful tone) Look, Wormfeces! Look and marvel at the greatness of this army! I have changed Isengard from the dull, resting place of the older and most gorgeous wizard, to the great spectacle of Orc that it is.
Nrima Wormfeces: (Swallowing down revulsion) It's-quite nice, my lord.
Andraman: (A small laugh) Nice? HA! Hardly! Nice doesn't begin to describe the magnificence, taking place here! The greatness that has formed everything that the Dark Lord depends upon to make his scour of power upon this world! (Nodding in understanding, however) Though, it is rather nice.
Nrima Wormfeces: (Still hiding revulsion) It is breath-taking, master.
Andraman: (With a great, evil smile) Isn't it? It is the wonderful spectacle of Dark Power, my friend! The Orc is truly magnified here.
(Suddenly, we see Orc#13 approach Andraman shyly, his hands behind his back and digging the heel of his foot in the ground bashfully)
Nrima Wormfeces: (In a menacing tone to the Orc) Yes?
Orc#13: (Shy tone) Andraman, I had some time to myself and-well, I had nothing else to do-and I drew a picture of you.
(Orc#13 pulls a piece of paper out from behind his back, and hands it to Andraman. Andraman pulls it open, and we see the stick figure drawing of a wizard with short, black hair, fangs, white robes, and a stick that supposed to be a staff; above the picture is written "Andraman", with an arrow pointing at the drawing. Nrima Wormfeces looks at the drawing, and scolds at the Orc)
Nrima Wormfeces: (Angrily) You insolent Orc! The older and most gorgeous one does not wish to trouble himself with your stick-drawings! Now, go and- !
Andraman: (In a reasonable tone) No, now hold on, Wormfeces; don't be so harsh on him! I mean, it's not that bad of a picture-in fact, it's kind of good! (Studies the picture with a smile on his face) Take a look at those fangs; those are some pretty pearly white teeth, I'll tell you what! And look at those physical features! I'm tellin' ya-I haven't had abs like that since I was in high school! (Places the drawing within his robes and speaks to the Orc) Excellent job, fellow Orc! I am so pleased with your work that I'm going to decrease your hours of torture from nine to six.
Orc#13: (Looking very modest) Oh, Andraman, you are so nice! But-who's going to get the other three hours?
Andraman: (Offhandedly) Ah-that Orc will take 'em!
(Andraman points to Orc#14, who is working diligently. Orc#14 looks up incredulously and gives a great shout of anger)
Orc#14: (In a very whiny voice) But-I've already got ten hours of torture starting at-(Looks at watch) six o'clock, Andraman! Can't you give me a break?
Andraman: (Angrily) What? How dare you try to contradict me? Why can't you be more like this diligent Orc, over here? (Places his hand upon Orc#13's shoulder) Now, be gone from my sight, disgraceful Orc! Go-run around in a huge frying pan or something!
(Mumbling angrily, Orc#14 shuffles off, Orc#13 following smugly. Andraman & Nrima Wormfeces proceed through the caverns. Andraman looks around with severe pride and pleasure. Finally, the two get to where they wish to go; they approach Orc#15 standing near a deep pit)
Orc#15: (Maliciously) Your orders, my lord?
Andraman: (In a powerful voice) Send out your Warg riders!
(There is a sudden sound of dogs barking and whining-it sounds like they're fighting viciously. The sounds are coming from the pit Orc#15 is guarding. Andraman looks down and frowns deeply)
Andraman: (Angrily shouting down in the pit) What the hell are you guys doing? I told you before: No illegal dog fights here!
(There is a great groan of protest from the depths of the pit)
Voice of Orc#17: But-! Andraman: (Angrily) But nothing, buddy! Last time I got a fine from a police officer from Gondor! You know how awkward that was for me? Everybody knock it off, right now! Give up your shares and get moving!
Voice of Orc#18: (Incredulously) But I won over five hundred dollars tonight!
Andraman: (Pointedly) Maybe you should think twice before gambling, shouldn't you? Now clear off! Come on! Let's go!
(The Orcs in the pit groan and mumble as we hear them shuffle off; occasionally mumbles about, "Unfair" and "This is crap, man!" are distinguished occasionally)
(We now see many members of the Guard of Edoras bearing the casket of the deceased Jaredred. King Kevoden watches the procession go by, looking severely heartbroken. Erynwyn is weeping openly, while Kendalf, Jimagorn, Megolas, & Brimli simply stare. Kendalf is bowing his head in respects; Megolas is softly saying an oath of respect in Elvish; Brimli has her helmet off and her head bowed in respects; Jimagorn looks very expressionless, stroking himself fondly on the chest. Finally, when the Paul-bearers place the king's son within his tomb, Kendalf speaks out)
Kendalf: (In a solemn voice) May the spirit of Jaredred, son of the king of Edoras, rest and find peace. (Looks to Jimagorn) I believe that Jimagorn, son of Jimathorn, wishes to speak for the deceased?
(Jimagorn looks at the wizard with wide eyes; Kendalf gives the other a reassuring nod. After clearing his throat, Jimagorn steps upon a large rock; everybody looks at the speaker, waiting for the eulogy to be delivered)
Jimagorn: (After a long time) What can I honestly say about Jaredred, son of King Kevoden? Obviously, I did not know him well enough to say he was a kind man-never knew him well enough to say he was a jerk. But from this Poloroid I received from the pamphlet of the funeral-(Pulls out the picture) I can honestly say that he was pretty good-looking-though, not as much as I.
(Megolas & Brimli look at one another and roll their eyes, while Kendalf keeps staring at Jimagorn)
Jimagorn: (After stroking himself upon the chest fondly) So, to substitute for my lack of knowledge towards the deceased, I shall quote a simple Bible verse-one that has been passed down from generation to generation: (Clears his throat and begins to speak solemnly) Jeremiah was a bullfrog; was a good friend of mine. I never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine; and he always had some mighty fine wine. I'm sayin', "Joy-to the world; all-the boys and girls. (Waves around at the crowd) Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea, and joy-to you and me."
(There is a great hush over the crowd-they are obviously too shocked to speak or trying to fully comprehend the other's words. Jimagorn looks satisfied, however, and steps down; he looks at Kendalf)
Jimagorn: (With a confident shrug) I think that went really well.
Kendalf: (Furrowing his brow at the other) Yes-quite blasphemous.
Jimagorn: (With a smile) Thanks.I pride myself upon it.
(The camera now catches the beautiful flower of Simbelmynë, clutched tightly in grieving King Kevoden's hands. He begins to speak as if speaking to nobody; as if trying to fully comprehend the situation himself)
King Kevoden: Simbelmynë. For years, it has covered the tombs of my fore- bearers.
(King Kevoden drops the flower, and we watch its graceful descent to the ground. Once it has landed, the camera shows King Kevoden standing next to a recently dug grave-the tomb of his deceased son. He looks behind him, where we see Kendalf standing and watching the scene in a stone-faced way- clutching to his staff and the breeze ruffling through his white robes)
King Kevoden: (Looking very grim as he speaks) .now it shall cover the grave of my son.
Kendalf: (In a small tone) It was a nice funeral, you have to admit- Jaredred looked at peace.
King Kevoden: (In a grim voice) Yes, it was nice.(In a dark tone) till Erynwyn started singing that damn song of mourning! It sounded like somebody was talking in tongues! (Looks back at the graves before him) Alas that I live to see these times-when the young die and the old linger.and linger.and linger. They do nothing but sit in their studio apartments, reeking of prune juice and of cottage cheese-remaining the same way, because they don't seem to give a damn anymore. All that seems important is that they watch their episodes of "Price Is Right" or "Wheel of Fortune"; failing to see that they have watched the same episode just the other night, but watching it anyways because they might find something they missed. They are intent in watching their soap operas-(Tears coming to his eyes as he thinks of it) quaffing their glasses of Ensure, calling it a meal because it's good for their bowels.
Kendalf: (In a sympathetic tone) Jaredred's death was not of your making. (Awkwardly) Though-it could have been avoided if you had paid more attention to what was going on around you, maybe heeded the warning he had given to you a few weeks before.(Coming back to his sympathetic tone) but other than that, it wasn't your fault!
King Kevoden: (Looking at Kendalf with tear-filled eyes) No parent should have to bury their child.none.
(Overcome with grief, King Kevoden begins to weep in despair. He falls to the ground on his knees, still weeping for the loss of his son; perhaps believing it in his heart that he could have prevented it. Kendalf watches the scene with a simple expression of pity upon his face. Desperately, he seeks some comforting words to the king)
Kendalf: (Confidently) Jaredred was a strong man-his spirit shall find the Hall of your fathers easily.and there, he will live his life in peace and we will all go on with our lives. Well, except you-you'll be wallowing in the stench of grief for as long as you can count.
(King Kevoden gives a great howl of dismay at this; apparently, the wizard's words did not help. Finally, Kendalf has had enough; he furrows his brow and grunts)
Kendalf: (In a rather hard voice) I need a beer! I'm goin' back to the Golden Hall, Kevoden-you're really bummin' me out! Gees! This place is so depressing!
(And with that, Kendalf makes to go back to the Golden Hall, but then he looks in the distance and sees something. King Kevoden looks up as he realizes that the wizard is still there, and looks in the distance as well. We see a horse in the distance, trotting to a stop a short distance from the borders of the city-upon closer inspection, we see that there are two riders: Matothain & Deeda from the Westfold. The riders look exhausted, and Matothain is teetering dangerously on the horse. We go back to Kendalf & King Kevoden, who are watching the riders in a bemused fashion)
Kendalf: (In a simple tone) They are children-they have ridden far.
King Kevoden: (Bemused) Do you think they are seeking aid?
(At this, we see Matothain fall off of his horse in the distance. Kendalf & King Kevoden look at one another in surprise)
Kendalf: (Practically) Uh-yeah, I think they're looking for help.
(Now we see Matothain & Deeda eating ravenously in the Golden Hall, Erynwyn nearby; she has apparently speaking to the children. Jimagorn, Megolas, & Brimli sit at different tables in the hall, watching the scene intently. King Kevoden sits on his throne, looking very stressed, and Kendalf sits nearby. Erynwyn looks towards her uncle grimly)
Erynwyn: (Getting up and walking towards her uncle) They had no warning! They were unarmed! (Bitterly) Now the Wild Men are running-well-wild throughout the Rohan, burning everything as they go! They take cot, beech, crop, and scarecrows!
Deeda: (Looking at Erynwyn desperately) Where's Mama?
Erynwyn: (Shushing the child and putting a comforting hand upon the child) Now, shut up, little girl.shut up.
(We go to Kendalf & King Kevoden. Kendalf is looking very serious about the situation-King Kevoden has his face in his hands in frustration)
Kendalf: (Seriously) This is but a taste of what Andraman has planned for all of Rohan.and Andraman was never a good cook. So either he's made a horrible error, or he's a sick, twisted freak that's planning to take everything you've got, regardless of what you may think. You have to fight him-ride out to meet him-
(Kendalf puts a hand on the king's in comfort. King Kevoden looks at what Kendalf is doing, raises his eyebrows quizzically at the wizard, and Kendalf quickly takes the hand away)
Kendalf: (Seriously) Keep them away from your women and children-'cause let's face it: Andraman's a pretty sick dude!
Jimagorn: (Looking at King Kevoden seriously and offering help) You have two thousand good men riding north as we speak. Méomer is loyal to you-and so are his Riders of Rohan! He will come for you if you seek his aid.
King Kevoden: (Getting up and stepping from his throne in agitation) But they are three hundred leagues from here, by now! We have no way of contacting him! I knew we shouldn't have gotten rid of e-mail during the second age!
Jimagorn: (Furrowing his brow) Well, e-mail or no e-mail, you've got to do something! Stand and fight them off! If you raise an army right now-!
King Kevoden: (Shaking his head immediately) No way! I'm not risking it! Too many risks had been taken-too many lives have been lost; citizens of Westfold, my son, and even that crazy hobo on the street that liked to dance for food.
Megolas: (Practically) Actually, that guy died from natural causes.
King Kevoden: (Exasperatedly) Well, he's dead anyways! And he won't be the only one if we go through this! (Looks at Kendalf seriously) I know what you would have me do, Kendalf-but I will not risk my town to open war!
Jimagorn: (Cool and logical) Open war is coming to you-whether you would risk it or not. Maybe it is best to be caught prepared?
King Kevoden: (Spinning his gaze to Jimagorn and speaking very sarcastically) You know what, Jimagorn, you're right! No! You are! What, you've been here for what-(Looks at watch) five hours? I should consider your words like a private confidant, shouldn't I? I mean-you must know what you're doing, after all! Oh, (Looks to the sky in mock happiness) thank the Lord that Jimagorn has come into Edoras and started issuing orders about the place! Why shouldn't we listen to him, hmm? What in the world could keep us from following his orders? I wonder.(Scratches his face, his finger bumping into his crown. He looks up at the crown, a smile of mock astonishment crossing his lips as he points to it with surprise) What? What's this? Why-it's the crown of Edoras? So-that means that Jimagorn is not the king? Oh my! What an astonishing turnout!
Jimagorn: (Quite coldly, keeping anger in check) What're you getting at, Kevoden?
King Kevoden: (Dropping sarcasm and presenting a cool temperament) The last time I checked, Kevoden was king of Edoras-not Jimagorn, the bearer of the wave. (Points at Jimagorn's ridiculous hair-flip)
(Jimagorn glares at the king. Angered by the king's insult to his beloved hairstyle, Jimagorn makes to stand up and show the king exactly what he's made of. But he knows that it would do no good fighting with King Kevoden, so he remains sitting; but his glare doesn't change. A tense moment passes as King Kevoden & Jimagorn stare at one another angrily. Suddenly, a great belch is heard, and both figures turn to see Brimli sitting at a table a few feet away, watching the scene intently over a tall mug of ale. When both Men look at her, Brimli blinks at both of them in expectation)
Brimli: (In a simple tone) Oh, ignore me! (Gesturing for them to continue) Go on! Resume your arguing! Go ahead! As you were!
(Both Men do not move, but resume staring incredulously at the Dwarf. Brimli looks disappointed)
Brimli: (Crestfallen) Oh, come on!
Kendalf: (Deciding to break up the scene) And what would King Kevoden assume we do at this time?
(We see King Kevoden ponder for a moment, really thinking hard. Then, the scene abruptly changes and we see Brimli, Jimagorn, Megolas, Erynwyn, Kendalf, & King Kevoden in a big Conga line; Matothain & Deeda are playing on bongo drums to serenade the scene. Jimagorn is wearing a huge sombrero, and looking like he's having a blast)
Kendalf: (Rather awkwardly) Uh-Kevoden, don't you think we ought to do something about the reign of terror going to be released by Andraman?
King Kevoden: (In a defensive voice) In a moment! I spent over five weeks a brainless zombie-I need to live, don't I?
Jimagorn: (In an enthused tone) You wanna know what sounds really good right now? Nachos! Let's fix some nachos!
Megolas: (Angrily-speaking to Jimagorn behind her) You wanna know what sounds even better right now? Getting your hands off of my butt!
Jimagorn: (Abruptly) Oh! Sorry! I thought I was grabbing your waist.
Megolas: (After a few minutes of waiting, speaking angrily) They're still there! Jimagorn: (Awkwardly) Sorry! I'll get 'em off! (Smiles mischievously as he continues to dance in the Conga line)
(Now we see Commander Awry shouting out orders to the towns people in the square. He is a big man, with black hair and clad in metal armor-an example of military stature. He wears a belt of many weapons)
Commander Awry: (In a deep, commanding voice) By orders of the king, we are to flee to Helm's Deep! Take only what you need! Make haste! We leave before daybreak tomorrow!
(We see Brimli, Megolas, & Jimagorn following Kendalf to the stables)
Brimli: (Angrily) Helm's Deep? They're running away and hiding, when they should be standing and fighting!
Jimagorn: (Gently) King Kevoden is only doing what he believes is best for his people.
Kendalf: (Grimly) Still, there is no way out of that ravine. Kevoden is walking into a trap.
Jimagorn: (Frustrated) You know what, Kendalf, I'm getting really tired of you always contradicting me! It's really pissing me off!
(At this point, the four reach the stables. Kendalf walks inside briskly, the others having to walk fast in order to keep up. Kendalf is speaking rapidly as he moves to Shadowfax)
Kendalf: Andraman's not going to lie quiet-if he hits, it'll be hard. (Stops in front of the gate where his horse is being kept, leans upon it wearily, and speaks grimly to Jimagorn) Kevoden is a good man, but I fear for him. You need to make sure that Kevoden stays on his feet, Jimagorn. The defenses have to hold!
Jimagorn: (In a whining voice) They do? But, I don't think they can hold for long!
Kendalf: (Firmly) Jimagorn.
Jimagorn: (Angrily, folding his arms irritably) All right, fine! The defenses will hold!
Megolas: (In a desperate tone) So, wait a moment! You're putting Jimagorn in charge of keeping track of Kevoden! Kendalf, why can't you do it?
Kendalf: (Going inside the gate) Because, I have to ride out and get some more help!
Megolas: (Looks from Jimagorn to Kendalf) So-wait a tick! You're leaving him (Points to Jimagorn) in charge? Are you insane?
Kendalf: (Furrowing his brow) No, I'm leaving the best man for the job!
Jimagorn: (Defensively to Megolas) Hear that, Megolas-I'm special!
Megolas: (To Kendalf) You can't be serious, Kendalf!
Kendalf: (Angrily) I am serious, Megolas! You listen to Jimagorn while you're on the road! You three have stuck together for a long time, and that union is going to have to remain strong for a while longer! We cannot let Rohan fall! Look out for one another-(Casting a look at the three others) all of you!
(Stubbornly, Megolas & Brimli nod in agreement. Jimagorn touches himself in satisfaction. Kendalf climbs onto his horse and speaks to the three again)
Kendalf: (Clearly) Look for my coming, at dawn of the fifth day; at first light, look to the east. (With a grim smile) Strange-I have lived through over five hundred years, and yet now I have no time.
Megolas: (Nodding in agreement) Yeah-isn't it a kick in the pants?
(Kendalf gives the Elf a brief smile, nods at Brimli, and gives Jimagorn that look of, "Be careful out there and watch out for yourself". Jimagorn nods in understanding, and Kendalf kicks the sides of his horse to make it go. Shadowfax runs from its gate and runs through the stable. But Kendalf bangs his head on one of the overhead beams and is knocked clean from his mount; Brimli, Megolas, & Jimagorn coil back with small squeaks of shock to one another)
Brimli: (In a small tone) That's gotta hurt!
(Kendalf is softly groaning as he lies on the floor of the stable. Then, we see Stable-Boy of Edoras come in; he takes one look at the wizard's form and gives a derisive snort)
Stable-Boy of Edoras: (In an irritable voice) What is it with people wanting to ride inside of the stables?
Kendalf: (In a small voice of pain) Ouuuuuuccccccccchhhhh.
(We now see Kendalf riding out of the stable with speed, clutching a blue ice-pack to his head. The wizard disappears from view as he rides through the gates, his destinations unknown to anyone but himself. We see Megolas, Brimli, & Jimagorn watch him go from atop a high-point in the city)
Brimli: (In a stunned voice) I can't believe it. He left us once-we thought he was dead-he's come back to us, and now he's gone again! This is getting out of control!
Jimagorn: (In a simple tone) I had a strange feeling he wouldn't stay for long-wizards of great and good power never do.
Brimli: (With a small, grim smile) Now it remains to be seen if he'll even come back this time.
Megolas: (Simply) He'll come back; he always comes back.
(Too nervous about the situation as it is, Jimagorn simply nods. We then go to the stables again, seeing many guards trying to wrench out a horse that seems to have been driven mad. Erynwyn is in the stables, occasionally glancing at the situation, but going back to get the supplies. Jimagorn, who is in there looking for something, suddenly sees the situation at hand and decides to go help. He grabs the reins of the horse, and begins to talk to it in Elvish. The horse begins to immediately calm down; Jimagorn begins to stroke the horse fondly, still speaking to it in soft Elvish. Then, we see Erynwyn walk over to Jimagorn, eyes wide in amazement)
Erynwyn: (Still amazed) I've never heard of a Man that could talk in such fluent Elvish-I mean, Stibbons can speak pretty good Spanish, but other than that.(Shakes her head in amazement) that was pretty neat.
Jimagorn: (In a quiet tone) I was raised in Rivendell for a short time.(Darkly) but then Noelrond kicked me out. He put so many damn restrictions on the place! "Jimagorn, don't slouch like that!" "Jimagorn, stop stealing my hair spray!" "Jimagorn, stop touching yourself like that!" (Strokes himself on the chest) He says he cast me out of Rivendell so that I may make a living for myself, but I think he was intimidated by my severe sexiness!
Erynwyn: (With a small shrug) Elves are weird.
Jimagorn: (After thinking about it for a while) No.not all of them.
(Erynwyn looks at Jimagorn quizzically, but Jimagorn has already decided not to tell her about Narwen)
Jimagorn: (After clearing his throat, deciding to change the subject) Uh- so, whose horse is this?
Erynwyn: (In a grim voice) He was my cousin's horse-his name is Prego.
Jimagorn: (Raising an eyebrow at Erynwyn) Prego? Like the pasta sauce?
Erynwyn: (With a shrug) He liked Italian food. (Resuming her grim tune) He was my cousin's warhorse.
Jimagorn: (After looking at it for a while) Let him go-he has seen enough of war. (Erynwyn looks to object, but seems to realize the truth behind his words, and complies. Then, we see the orphanage of Edoras, where Orphans of Edoras are playing inside the complex, laughing and playing. We see a great banner hung upon the ceiling that says, "Horses for Charity!" Then, we see Keeper of Orphanage come into the room, looking severely upset)
Keeper of Orphanage: (In a grim tone) I'm sorry, children. I just got word from the messenger of Golden Hall-Prego has been let back into the wild; it appears as though we will not be getting a new horse this year. We'll have to settle with Jackson.
(The Keeper of Orphanage indicates an ancient, severely stringy looking horse in the corner. Many of the Orphans of Edoras give a cry of dismay. Then, we go to Andraman, who is pacing about his tower room restlessly)
Andraman: (In an ill-tempered voice) Kendalf, the older and most gorgeous one? HA! More like Kendalf the fool! Everybody knows that I am the older and most gorgeous one! Obviously, or I wouldn't have so much power! There! I believe that settles it! So-why am I still contradicting myself? Could it be that I have a small fear of Kendalf exceeding my position? NO! Not at all! I just-er-like to hear myself talk! That's it! That's it! I like to hear myself talk!
(We hear Nrima Wormfeces talk as he enters the room)
Nrima Wormfeces: (In his drawling, slick voice) Of course you do, my liege! After all, how can one possibly contradict himself when the power of Isengard is quite strong?
Andraman: (Sniffing the air and scowling at the other) You stink of horse- and radishes-and feces!
Nrima Wormfeces: (In an irritable tone) Well-good morning to you, as well!
Andraman: (Leaning against a table and speaking to the other seriously) Who else accompanied Kendalf to the Golden Hall?
Nrima Wormfeces: (In a disgusted tone) Only three were with him. There was an Elf-a Dwarf-(Rubs the back of his head at this) and a Man.
Andraman: Anyone of importance?
Nrima Wormfeces: (After pondering about it for a few seconds) None of which I could see.
(Andraman lets out a breath of relief)
Nrima Wormfeces: (With a quizzical look upon his face as he speaks) However, the Man did bear a certain ring, although he was rather shabby in appearance-and he liked to touch himself an awful lot.
Andraman: (Snapping his gaze at the other) A certain ring? What sort of ring was it? What did it look like?
Nrima Wormfeces: (With a sigh) Andraman, if you seek a new ring, I assure you that it can be found online. All we have to do is search under-!
Andraman: (Grabbing the other by the front of his robes) The design, you fool! I do not wish to busy myself with thoughts of buying a new ring! Besides, I already have one-Black Hill's gold, very pretty! But I must know of the design of the ring! Tell it to me!
Nrima Wormfeces: (Seriously, looking off to the side awkwardly) It was of two serpents, one devouring the other, and crowned with fire-with emerald eyes.
(We see Andraman flipping through a thick book, until he finds the page he's looking for-a picture of a ring that exactly fits Nrima Wormfeces' description)
Andraman: (In a cool voice) The Ring of Barahir. So-Kendalf believes that he has found Robsildur's heir, the heir to the throne of Gondor? HA! He is fool if he believes so! (Closes the book with a snap) Jauron will not be alone in his fight to stop such a fate-for it very well could not be.
(We now go to the inside of the Golden Hall, where Erynwyn is setting down a large bundle of things she's been carrying. Inside of the hall, the nobles and guards are gathering up important things for the long trek to Helm's Deep. Erynwyn shuffles through the objects she was carrying, and she happens to find a sheathed sword. Her eyes lighten up in anticipation, and she quickly takes the sword in her hands; after a moment of staring at the sword, she pulls it out. Erynwyn studies the blade carefully, brings it up to her face, and begins to wave it around in battle-like technique. Suddenly, there is a squeal of pain, and Erynwyn turns around to see Edoras Guard#8 clutching their arm, which is bleeding profusely. Erynwyn covers her mouth in shock)
Erynwyn: (Really meaning it) Oh my gosh! I'm sorry! I had no idea! I should've been looking where I was swinging!
Edoras Guard#8: (In an offhand type of voice) No, no! It's my fault! I should've been looking where I was going. (Clutches his arm tighter, for it is bleeding heavily)
Erynwyn: (Anxiously) Are you going to be all right, sir?
Edoras Guard#8: (Waves the other arm as if to say it's no big deal) Ah, don't worry about it, my lady! The cut's not really that deep-I'm just a hemophiliac and I always bleed heavily at simple cuts. (Sways dangerously) Er-I'm gonna go take my medicine now.
(Edoras Guard#8 staggers away, and Erynwyn clutches her sword tightly. This time making sure that nobody is around within striking range, she begins to swing her sword. She is very well coordinated with her moves, concentrating fully on where her swipes occur. Then, as she makes to turn about while raising the sword, the blow is parried by Jimagorn's blade. Erynwyn & Jimagorn stare at one another silently)
Erynwyn: (In a small voice) Where the hell did you come from?
Jimagorn: (Deciding to ignore this) Your hands move quick-you're really talented with the blade.
(Erynwyn slides the blade away from Jimagorn's quickly, and the two stare at one another as if trying to comprehend the other. Finally, Erynwyn clears her throat and sheathes the sword; she tosses it back in the pile she had carried in the hall and concentrates on sorting the pile. Jimagorn watches her)
Erynwyn: (In a quick tone, not even looking at the other) The ladies of Edoras learned a long time ago; those without swords can still die upon them.
Jimagorn: (Looking off to the side awkwardly) But-if you don't have a sword, how can you "die" upon them? I'm confused.
Erynwyn: (Choosing to ignore this) I fear neither death nor pain.
Jimagorn: (With a small smile) What do you fear, my lady?
(Erynwyn looks at Jimagorn with dead seriousness upon her face-it seems like she's surprised somebody actually asked her)
Erynwyn: (In a small tone) A cage.
Jimagorn: (His eyes widening as he realizes this) A cage full of man-eating spiders? I have the same fear!
Erynwyn: (Angrily) No! (Back to her sad tone) A cage, whose bars hold women from the world, until all hope for grace and valor, is gone; a cage that keeps those with true spirit from showing theirs in this world; a cage (A grim smile coming to her face) that holds me until the day I die.
Jimagorn: (His face falling into a look of understanding) You are a Shield- maiden of Rohan-a daughter of kings-and a really hot babe! (Sheathes his sword and smiles at the other) I do not believe that shall be your fate.
(Erynwyn stares at Jimagorn as if seeing him for the first time; it seems to her as if she has finally found somebody who understands her as much as her brother did. But her brother is far away now-who else can she turn to? Jimagorn stares at Erynwyn intently-definitely attracted to her. Finally, Jimagorn shakes his head)
Jimagorn: (Clearing his throat) Well, I'd best get going. (Smiles and gives a small wave towards Erynwyn) Well-good luck with your cage! (Begins to leave)
Erynwyn: (Angrily shouting back at him) Damn it! I don't want a cage!
(We now see King Kevoden getting his things together, accompanied by Commander Awry, who looks rather grim of the situation at hand)
King Kevoden: (As he straps his sword on) Make ready the horses and make sure that everybody is good to go, Commander Awry.
Commander Awry: (In a very forlorn tone) Yes sir.
King Kevoden: (In a serious, valiant voice) Commander Awry, do not fret. We will return!
Commander Awry: (As he leaves the room) Yeah-sure!
(We now see the town's people making their exodus from Edoras. There are the young, the adults, and the old, who can barely walk faster than two steps at a time. The guards are positioned about the group, making sure that nobody is going to intercept them. King Kevoden, Jimagorn, Megolas, Brimli, & Commander Awry ride up front, looking about suspiciously. King Kevoden looks back to the disappearing form of Edoras, wondering if he will live to see the town again. Megolas & Brimli are keeping a good eye out for dangers around them. Jimagorn is fondly stroking himself on the chest, forgetting his problems for but a moment. As the cameras widens out to show the many thousands that are traveling from Edoras, we hear a very unpleasant voice: the Voice of Nrima Wormfeces)
Voice of Nrima Wormfeces: (Sounding just as slick and deceitful as ever) Kevoden will not stay in Edoras-it is weak, he knows this. He will likely have the town flee to Helm's Deep, the ancient safe-hold for so many battles. It is a dangerous route to take through the mountains.
(We now see Nrima Wormfeces conversing to a very foul fellow indeed: Andraman. They are in Isengard, at a table in the great tower. Andraman listens to Nrima Wormfeces' looks as though he is listening intently to his words)
Nrima Wormfeces: (In a logical tone) They will have women.and children with them.
(Andraman suddenly shakes his head as he comes back to reality. Nrima Wormfeces looks at Andraman with a quizzical stare)
Nrima Wormfeces: Uh-my lord, were you listening to me?
Andraman: (Looking at the other for a while) Wormfeces, can I ask you a question: Do you think I'd look better in coral robes or orange robes?
(Nrima Wormfeces blinks dumbly at the wizard for a while, probably wondering if he made the smart decision of coming to Isengard. Then, we go to the underground fortress of Isengard, Andraman & Nrima Wormfeces walking throughout the Orc-infested confines. Andraman walks proudly, his staff thrust forward and looking quite enthused; Nrima Wormfeces looks nothing short of revolted, but he doesn't dare say anything to the wizard about it)
Andraman: (In a powerful tone) Look, Wormfeces! Look and marvel at the greatness of this army! I have changed Isengard from the dull, resting place of the older and most gorgeous wizard, to the great spectacle of Orc that it is.
Nrima Wormfeces: (Swallowing down revulsion) It's-quite nice, my lord.
Andraman: (A small laugh) Nice? HA! Hardly! Nice doesn't begin to describe the magnificence, taking place here! The greatness that has formed everything that the Dark Lord depends upon to make his scour of power upon this world! (Nodding in understanding, however) Though, it is rather nice.
Nrima Wormfeces: (Still hiding revulsion) It is breath-taking, master.
Andraman: (With a great, evil smile) Isn't it? It is the wonderful spectacle of Dark Power, my friend! The Orc is truly magnified here.
(Suddenly, we see Orc#13 approach Andraman shyly, his hands behind his back and digging the heel of his foot in the ground bashfully)
Nrima Wormfeces: (In a menacing tone to the Orc) Yes?
Orc#13: (Shy tone) Andraman, I had some time to myself and-well, I had nothing else to do-and I drew a picture of you.
(Orc#13 pulls a piece of paper out from behind his back, and hands it to Andraman. Andraman pulls it open, and we see the stick figure drawing of a wizard with short, black hair, fangs, white robes, and a stick that supposed to be a staff; above the picture is written "Andraman", with an arrow pointing at the drawing. Nrima Wormfeces looks at the drawing, and scolds at the Orc)
Nrima Wormfeces: (Angrily) You insolent Orc! The older and most gorgeous one does not wish to trouble himself with your stick-drawings! Now, go and- !
Andraman: (In a reasonable tone) No, now hold on, Wormfeces; don't be so harsh on him! I mean, it's not that bad of a picture-in fact, it's kind of good! (Studies the picture with a smile on his face) Take a look at those fangs; those are some pretty pearly white teeth, I'll tell you what! And look at those physical features! I'm tellin' ya-I haven't had abs like that since I was in high school! (Places the drawing within his robes and speaks to the Orc) Excellent job, fellow Orc! I am so pleased with your work that I'm going to decrease your hours of torture from nine to six.
Orc#13: (Looking very modest) Oh, Andraman, you are so nice! But-who's going to get the other three hours?
Andraman: (Offhandedly) Ah-that Orc will take 'em!
(Andraman points to Orc#14, who is working diligently. Orc#14 looks up incredulously and gives a great shout of anger)
Orc#14: (In a very whiny voice) But-I've already got ten hours of torture starting at-(Looks at watch) six o'clock, Andraman! Can't you give me a break?
Andraman: (Angrily) What? How dare you try to contradict me? Why can't you be more like this diligent Orc, over here? (Places his hand upon Orc#13's shoulder) Now, be gone from my sight, disgraceful Orc! Go-run around in a huge frying pan or something!
(Mumbling angrily, Orc#14 shuffles off, Orc#13 following smugly. Andraman & Nrima Wormfeces proceed through the caverns. Andraman looks around with severe pride and pleasure. Finally, the two get to where they wish to go; they approach Orc#15 standing near a deep pit)
Orc#15: (Maliciously) Your orders, my lord?
Andraman: (In a powerful voice) Send out your Warg riders!
(There is a sudden sound of dogs barking and whining-it sounds like they're fighting viciously. The sounds are coming from the pit Orc#15 is guarding. Andraman looks down and frowns deeply)
Andraman: (Angrily shouting down in the pit) What the hell are you guys doing? I told you before: No illegal dog fights here!
(There is a great groan of protest from the depths of the pit)
Voice of Orc#17: But-! Andraman: (Angrily) But nothing, buddy! Last time I got a fine from a police officer from Gondor! You know how awkward that was for me? Everybody knock it off, right now! Give up your shares and get moving!
Voice of Orc#18: (Incredulously) But I won over five hundred dollars tonight!
Andraman: (Pointedly) Maybe you should think twice before gambling, shouldn't you? Now clear off! Come on! Let's go!
(The Orcs in the pit groan and mumble as we hear them shuffle off; occasionally mumbles about, "Unfair" and "This is crap, man!" are distinguished occasionally)
